Safe Relationships and Sexual Harassment

What do you think?

Is it ok for a student to rub another student’s shoulders? What about a teacher?

�Is it ok to yell a compliment to a stranger across the street? ��Is it ok to tell a friend that a classmate has a great body? ��Is it ok to hug someone without asking? Kiss them? ��

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What is Sexual Harassment?

What is Sexual Harassment?

• To harass someone means to tease, bother, or annoy someone. �
• Sexual harassment is any communication (spoken, written, or gestured) behavior that is unwanted AND sexual. �
• The key word in this definition is unwanted. That is, occurs without consent. ��

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Sexual Harassment is Against the Law

• Whether in the classroom, in the hallways, during extracurricular activities, or at work, sexual harassment is NEVER ok. ���

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Sexual Harassment is Against the Law

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The federal law prohibiting sexual harassment in schools is Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, which prohibits any person, on the basis of sex, to be subjected to discrimination in an educational program. Under Title IX, a school is required to have and distribute a policy against sex discrimination, particularly one that addresses sexual harassment. ��

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Examples of Spoken Sexual Harassment

• Sexual comments about people’s bodies
• Unwanted sexual advances, like repeatedly asking someone for a hug or a date after they’ve said no, or telling someone what you would like to do with them
• Making fun of people’s gender identity or asking uninvited questions about their bodies or genitals���

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Examples of Spoken Sexual Harassment

• Publicly talking about or showing sexual images. Even if you are talking to a consenting friend, it can affect others around you�
• Catcalling, like talking to strangers on the street about their bodies or their attractiveness, whistling or other sounds, or making demands to smile

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Examples of Written or Visual Sexual Harassment

• Unwanted sexual notes or love letters

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• Unwanted sexual emails, IMs, chat, text messages, etc.

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• Unwanted displays of sexual images

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Examples of Written or Visual Sexual Harassment

• Sexual graffiti – writing sexual things on bathroom walls, desk, lockers, textbooks, bus, etc.

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• Taking or sharing sexual photos or videos without consent

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BUT WAIT! What about sexting?

• “Sexting” is a term used to describe the sharing of intimate words, images, or video with another person

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• Like any other sexual behavior, sexting requires the consent of all parties involved. �

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BUT WAIT! What about sexting?

• If someone shares sexts with others, there can be serious emotional and legal consequences, particularly if minors are involved.

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Examples of Physical Sexual Harassment

• Cornering someone, towering over them, or standing too close in a threatening way�
• Sexual gestures – any sexual motion made with the hands, mouth, tongue, body �
• Sexual staring/leering at private parts of the body �

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Sexual Harassment Based on Power

When a person uses their authority to pressure someone into sexual activity, it’s sexual harassment. Examples:

• A teacher lowering a grade if a student refuses their sexual advances�
• A coach basing team assignments on the athlete’s willingness to show their body�
• A boss threatening to withhold work shifts unless an employee kisses them�

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When Sexual Harassment Becomes Sexual Assault

• Unwanted touching/grabbing private parts of the body
• Unwanted rubbing/grinding against someone
• Pulling someone’s clothes down or off
• Unwanted hugs/kisses
• Forcing someone to do sexual things they don’t want to do �

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Flirting Vs. Sexual Harassment

Flirting

• Is WANTED
• Is mutual or shared
• Is non-threatening
• Feels equal
• Builds self-esteem of both

Sexual Harassment

• Is UNWANTED
• Is one-sided
• Is threatening
• Gives the power to one person
• Can tear down the receiver's self-esteem

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What is Consent?

What Is Consent?

�Consent is explicit permission, or an agreement between two or more people. ��

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What Is Consent?

�Consent involves communication and setting up boundaries.���

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Consent: As Simple As Tea

�Video (2:45)���

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What Is Consent?

�Everyone has the right to decide what another person can do to and say about their body, and they can change their mind at any time.�

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What Is Consent?

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Things to Remember

• Any person, of any gender, can be a perpetrator or a victim of sexual harassment.
• A person’s reaction does not necessarily determine consent. For instance, victims sometimes laugh out of discomfort or may not speak up out of fear of further harassment or violence. ��

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How Can We Stop Sexual Harassment?

Don’t Sexually Harass People

• Call people by their names - don’t use terms like “honey,” “baby,” or “sweetie”
• If you ask someone out, and they say no, listen to them. Don’t keep asking
• Don’t make comments about other people’s bodies, like “He’s so fat” or “She has a great body”��

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Don’t Sexually Harass People

• Don’t touch people without permission
• Don’t catcall. If you see someone attractive, appreciate them in your mind - you don’t have to tell them
• Don’t stare. If you feel your eyes fixating on someone, just look away or close your eyes
• Don’t hang out with people who sexually harass others���

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If You See Sexual Harassment Going On, What Can You Do?

Be firm when telling people you don’t like sexual harassment. Look them in the eye and tell them you are not joking.

�Things you can say include:� “She’s not a dog - don’t whistle at her.” � “How would you like it if people laughed at you?”�“That’s not cool. Don’t be creepy.”��

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If You Experience Sexual Harassment, What Can You Do?

• If it feels unsafe, tell the person to stop.
• Tell an adult - parents, teachers, counselors, and school administrators can be helpful in changing behavior.
• Remember that it is not your fault and you have the right to not be harassed. ���

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If You Experience Sexual Harassment, What Can You Do?

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• Tell a trusted adult: administrator, teacher, counselor, Wellness Coordinator, or nurse!

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• Write down what happened -- the adult will investigate your complaint.

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• OR -- Contact the Office of Equity at 415-355-7334 or by email at equity@sfusd.edu.

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