Middot Unit #3

“Lo Levayesh”

“Not To Embarrass”

…as it relates to our relationships with others, with ourselves and with Hashem.

TANACH SOURCES

Watch the following clips and answer the questions on your own.

Clip 1. http://www.wingclips.com/movie-clips/not-easily-broken/credit-card-declined

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1. How did Clarice feel after the waiter came back with card?

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• Why was it so important for her to want to pay the bill?

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• How did the waiter commit the negative Middah of “Lo Levayesh”?

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• If you were the waiter what would you have done to avoid “Busha” (shame) to the couple?

Clip 2. http://www.wingclips.com/movie-clips/cloudy-with-a-chance-of-meatballs/a-little-different

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1. How did flint feel before showing his invention to the class?

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• Describe how Flint felt after he showed the class his invention?

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• Journal a time when you may have felt the same way as Flint, and what that felt like for you.

At first, in the Garden of Eden, shame was an unfamiliar concern.

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25. Now they were both naked, the man and his wife, but they were not ashamed.

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Source Berashit 2:25

Before long Adam and Chava disobeyed Hashem. They tasted the fruit from the forbidden tree. Then their eyes “were opened” to shame, they became conscious of their nakedness.

Study the Pesukim and answer the questions on the next slide:

6. And the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and the tree was desirable to make one wise; so she took of its fruit, and she ate, and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

7. And the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked, and they sewed fig leaves and made themselves aprons.

�Source: Berashit 3:6-7

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Question on the next slide…

1. What might it mean, when the torah tells us that Adam and Chava felt no shame?

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• 2.What is the meaning of the term their eyes “were opened”-to what?

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• Why did they cover their bodies? Is it possible that they were trying to cover more than just their physical shame? Explain your thoughts…

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• Is it possible that A & E were more embarrassed as a result of Hashem’s admonishment then of each other?

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• Have you ever been or felt embarrassed before Hashem?, please explain…

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• What did you/could you do to move beyond these feelings of shame?

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A & E

5. And at the [time of] the evening offering, I arose from my fast with the rent condition of my garment and my robe, and I kneeled on my knees and spread my palms to the Lord, my God.

6. And I said, "O my God, I am ashamed and embarrassed to lift up my face to You, my God, for our sins have increased over our heads, and our guilt has grown up to the heavens.

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Source: Ezra 9:5-6

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1. Why did Ezra feel he could not lift his face to Hashem?

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• Who is Ezra feeling embarrassed for ?

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• Does it seems reasonable to express shame for the wrongdoing of others?

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• How much control do we have over the wrongdoing of others?

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• What association did Ezra make to the embarrassment he felt? (See Pasuk 6)

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• How did this struggle affect his relationship with Hashem?

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Study the Pesukim and answer the questions on the next slide:

Mini Formative Assessment: MUST BE DONE ALONE

The Talmud says "All those who commit a sin and are ashamed of it are forgiven for all their sins" (Source: Brachot 12b)

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1. Write freely for a few minutes on the relationship between shame and forgiveness.

2. How do YOU intuitively or internally treat shame?

3. How do you process wrongdoing?

4. Does what you learnt today and the line of the Talmud ring true to you after answering the above two questions?

5. Is shame towards oneself a good thing? how so and/how not so?