Cultivating Safety and Brotherhood: �Mission-Driven Abuse Prevention

Matthew D'Urso, Ph.D., ‘96, P’30

Delbarton School

Morristown, NJ USA

2026 IBSC Annual Conference

St. Stithians College

Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa

Mission-Driven vs. Mission-Adjacent

Mission Statements Matter

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• Express core purpose
• Define values
• Clarify priorities
• Describe intended outcomes
• Prevent mission creep
• Socialize new members

How do conversations about mission happen at your school?

Where do students experience mission in action?

Themes in Mission Statements

Mission Statement “Outputs”

Academic excellence

Character

Leadership

Citizenship

Service

Community

Emotional development

Spiritual development

Civic development

Mission Statement “Inputs”

Safe/nurturing environment

Challenging environment

Stemler and Bebell Study

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Mission 🡪 Culture 🡪 Practice

Staff Development

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Abuse recognition

Boundary awareness

Youth development

Referral skills

Student Empowerment

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Reporting systems

Boundary education

Anti-bullying initiatives

Policy Development

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Safeguarding protocols

Mandatory reporting

Student protection

guidelines

Safeguarding Matters

• Schools are uniquely positioned as protective environments.
• Parents assume schools are safe.
• Policy compliance alone does not create a culture of safety.

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Brotherhood as Culture

We Believe

…That God calls us into this community.

…That community life forges character, integrity, and respect for all.

…In the strength of our Brotherhood.

…That here, we belong.

Hallmarks of a

Benedictine School

(selected)

Love of God and Neighbor

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Community and Stability

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Hospitality

Brotherhood as Foundational to Boys’ Schools

a community that inspires the broad development of every boy

The Hale School (Australia)

asks boys to engage fully and meaningfully in learning, community, and citizenship

St. Alban’s School (USA)

St. Stithian’s College

One and All

Brotherhood as Safeguarding

Praesidium, Inc.

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Delbarton School

Praesidium Accredited 2019, 2022, & 2025

Mission-Driven vs. Mission-Adjacent

In pursuit of Brotherhood, fraternity, community, citizenship, boys' schools intentionally foster…

Brotherhood

Belonging

Mentorship

Formation

Community

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Trust

Mentorship

Connection

Special relationships

Belonging

“Belonging welcomes boys, mattering dignifies them.”

Bruce Collins, IBSC Director of Membership Engagement, summarizing the work of Dr. Matt Engler-Colson

(IBSC Exploring Boys' Education Podcast, 2026)

How do you promote belonging in your school?

How do you promote mattering in your school?

Child Abuse Statistics

CDC, 2024

Vestibulum congue

*Based on calls received by Praesidium’s Helpline service, which offers consultation to authorized users from subscribing organizations

Mission-Driven vs. Mission-Adjacent

Who Are the Most Vulnerable?

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• Lonely
• Isolated
• Low self-esteem
• Emotional and behavioral difficulties
• Unwanted or unloved

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Untitled, M. Tafuri, 2026

Emerging Area of Focus: Grooming

(Jeglic, Winters, Johnson, 2023)

How Can We Distinguish Mentoring from Grooming?

More Concerning ("Red Flag") Behaviors

• Desensitization to physical touch
• Showing pornography
• Sexual language
• Sexualized touching

Patterns That Warrant Attention

• Excessive compliments
• Frequent gifts
• Constant texting
• Repeated special treatment
• High frequency of boundary-crossing behaviors

Inadvertent Harm

• Physical
• Psychological
• Social

Isolated Youth are Vulnerable Youth

…and adults may contribute (sometimes inadvertently) to students’ risk of harm

How do you distinguish between problematic and healthy interactions with students?

Fostering the Right Relationships

The Challenge

• Be present, but not alone
• Be trustworthy, but don't keep secrets
• Make students feel special, but don't play favorites
• Be accessible, but maintain boundaries
• Build connection, but not intimacy

Forming a “Loving Resistance”

• 2011 qualitative study by Dr. Adam Cox
• Interviews of boys at 20 IBSC schools
• Asked about significance or purpose in their lives
• Key dimension: belonging and influence of teachers

Up and Out

• Create roles for youth in programs
• Create opportunities for youth to build skills and collaborate with and support other youth
• Talk with youth about their sources of support (e.g., family, school, religious mentors, friend group, community)
• Learn about youth’s education or career goals and how the school can help support those goals.

Build Out

• Focus on small interactions (e.g., remember previous conversations, check in after a difficult week, or express curiosity about a student’s perspective)
• Notice when student is not there
• Show genuine interest in student’s thinking
• Help youth establish their own goals built on their strengths

Build Up

(McKeen et al., 2025)

Motivation and mobilization

Personal

School

Students

We can be the subject of litigation

Threat to mission

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Reputational harm

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Financial jeopardy

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Insurability

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Decreased morale

Psychological

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Education

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Interpersonal

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Behavioral �

Sexual

Cultivating a Culture of Safety through Brotherhood

If a new employee spent a year at your school, how would they conclude that safeguarding students is central to your mission and a cultural imperative?

Thank you

References

Abrahams, J. (2007). 101 mission statements from top companies: plus guidelines for writing your own mission statement. Berkeley, CA: Ten Speed Press.

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American Psychological Association, Boys and Men Guidelines Group. (2018). APA guidelines for psychological practice with boys and men. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/about/policy/boys-men-practice-guidelines

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Bebell, Damian. An Empirical Approach to Understanding and Analyzing the Mission Statements of Selected Educational Institutions. eric.ed.gov, 1999.

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Bright, Melissa, et al. “Nonconsensual Sexual Behavior Among Youth: Age Dynamics and Implications for Prevention.” Child Abuse & Neglect, vol. 173, 2026, article 107944, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chiabu.2026.107944

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Bebell, D., & Stemler, S. (2012). School Mission Statement, The: Values, Goals, and Identities in American Education (1st ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315854052.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024, May 16). About child sexual abuse. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.cdc.gov/child-abuse-neglect/about/about-child-sexual-abuse.htmlLynch, D. (2026). Beyond compliance: The DSL's guide to creating a school-wide culture of safeguarding. Independent Thinking Press.

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Collins, Bruce. “What Boys Need Now: Beyond Belonging.” Boys of Promise, Substack, n.d., https://fromboysofpromise.substack.com/p/what-boys-need-now-beyond-belonging. Accessed 22 June 2026.

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Cox, Adam J. Locating Significance in the Lives of Boys. International Boys’ Schools Coalition, 2011. www.theibsc.org

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Craven, S., Brown, S., & Gilchrist, E. (2006). Sexual grooming of children: Review of literature and theoretical considerations. Journal of Sexual Aggression, 12(3), 287–299. https://doi.org/10.1080/13552600601069414

References

Huizar, T. (Host). (2024, August 22). Why don't more teachers report abuse? (No. 12) [Audio podcast episode]. In One in Ten. National Children's Alliance. https://oneintenpodcast.org/episodes/why-dont-more-teachers-report-abuse/

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IBSC, Exploring Boys’ Education Podcast, S7:E8, “Boys, Connection, and a Changing World” (June 18, 2026).

�International Boys' Schools Coalition. (2019, January). IBSC supports boys and boys' schools. International Boys' Schools Coalition.

Jeglic, E. L., Winters, G. M., Johnson, B. N. (2023). Identification of Red Flag Child Sexual Grooming Behaviors. Child Abuse and Neglect, 136. www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0145213422005324

McKeen, A., Ingram, M., Alexander, S., Grimes, J., Kennedy, K. S., Lancaster, C., Le, V. D., Miedema, S. S., & Ray, C. (2025). Preventing and responding to child sexual abuse in youth-serving organizations.

Mucinskas, D., & Clark, S. (2022, September 8). How to make mission matter at your school: Considerations from a global study. Harvard Graduate School of Education.

Praesidium. (n.d.). Research on preventing child sexual abuse: Identification of red flag child sexual grooming behaviors. https://www.praesidiuminc.com/red-flag-grooming-behaviors/

Saul, J., & Audage, N. C. (2007). Preventing child sexual abuse within youth-serving organizations: Getting started on policies and procedures. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control.

Slate, J. R., Jones, C. H., Wiesman, K., Alexander, J., & Saenz, T. (2008). School mission statements and school performance: A mixed research investigation. New Horizons in Education, 56(2), 16–27.

United Nations Children's Fund. (2026). Child safeguarding toolkit for business. UNICEF. https://www.unicef.org/childrightsandbusiness/media/1681/file/Child-Safeguarding-Toolkit-2026.pdf

United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. (2018). Charter for the protection of children and young people: Promise to protect, pledge to heal (Rev. June 2018). https://www.usccb.org/resources/Charter-for-the-Protection-of-Children-and-Young-People-2018-final%281%29.pdf

Winters, G. M., Jeglic, E. L., & Kaylor, L. E. (2020). Validation of the sexual grooming model of child sexual abusers. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, 29(7), 855–875. https://doi.org/10.1080/10538712.2020.1801935 (pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)

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