Church Sacraments, Part 7

Servants Preparation Curriculum

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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Church Sacraments, Part 7 – Holy Matrimony

Objectives:

1. To study the significance and institution of this sacrament
2. To see the goals and characteristics of a Christian Matrimony
3. To acknowledge the obligations of husband and wife

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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The Significance

• The family is the basic unit or cell of society
• The Christian family is the main building block of The Orthodox Church

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“Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, who risked their own necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles. Likewise greet the church that is in their house” (Romans 16:3-5)

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The Significance Cont.

• The church is formed of many families

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God created Eve for Adam

“So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man” (Genesis 2:20-22)

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• God created Eve for Adam

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Why the Rib?

• Not from the head = so she will not control Adam
• Not from the foot = so Adam does not control his wife

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• From the rib = close to his heart meaning:
• Precious in his life
• Equal to him

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Adam Rejoiced to See Eve

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“And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23)

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What is The Meaning of Marriage?�By H.H. Pope Shenouda III

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Marriage, according to the Christian concept, is that a spiritual person, or a temple of the Holy Spirit, weds another spiritual person, who is also a temple of the Holy Spirit. Both are spiritually joined together through the sacrament of marriage, to become one...

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Therefore, both must be of the same Christian faith, denomination, because the Holy Spirit should not join contradictory beliefs together.

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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Marriage is NOT…

• Not ONLY an emotional and passionate relationship; but, it is one that is long-lasting!

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So do not pick your partner based on:

1. Physical Attraction
2. External Beauty
3. Wealth and Money
4. Education and Position in Society

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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The Institution of This Sacrament

• God instituted and blessed marriage from the beginning of time:

“Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1:28)

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• This shows that marriage is part of God's eternal purpose for humanity

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis. 2:24)

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The Institution of This Sacrament Cont.

• Jesus Christ teaching about Marriage:

“And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mathew 19:4-6)

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The Institution of This Sacrament Cont.

• Jesus Christ blessed The Wedding of Cana of Galilee

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The Institution of This Sacrament Cont.

• St. Paul teaching about marriage:

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“This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32)

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“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4)

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The Institution of This Sacrament Cont.

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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Church Sacraments, Part 7 – Holy Matrimony

Objectives:

1. To study the significance and institution of this sacrament
2. To see the goals and characteristics of a Christian Matrimony
3. To acknowledge the obligations of husband and wife

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

15

The Goals of Christian Matrimony

• There are three main goals of Christian Matrimony:
1. Cooperation between man and woman to form a small church at home
2. Protection against adultery / be holy
3. Procreation / having kids

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• There are three main goals of Christian Matrimony:
• Cooperation between man and woman to form a small church at home through:
• Joined Prayers
• Regular Bible Readings
• Attending Liturgy and Taking Communion
• Practicing Confession and Repentance

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• There are three main goals of Christian Matrimony:
• Cooperation between man and woman to form a small church at home through:
• Sharing the home responsibilities
• Raising Children
• Shopping, Cooking, and Cleaning
• Laundry and Ironing
• Gardening
• Etc.

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• There are three main goals of Christian Matrimony:
• Protection against adultery / be holy

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“It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:1-3)

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“but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9)

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• There are three main goals of Christian Matrimony:
• Protection against adultery / be holy
• The Christian Marriage elevates the bodily union to become a spiritual union through the work of The Holy Spirit

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• There are three main goals of Christian Matrimony:
• Procreation / having kids
• To preserve humanity from extinction
• Bearing children fills the house with joy and strengthens the marital relationship

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• What if God does not grant a couple to have kids?

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:3-5)

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• There are three main goals of Christian Matrimony:
• Procreation / having kids
• To preserve humanity from extinction

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• There are three main goals of Christian Matrimony:
• Procreation / having kids
• What if God does not grant a couple to have kids? Cont.
• Do not be too upset
• Serve God’s children with passion and with care
• Consider all the Christian children as your own children and pour your love and care onto them

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• The characteristics of Christian Matrimony:
1. Unity
2. Continuity
3. Bearing Fruits

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• Unity / Monogamy
• The Coptic Church mandates the principle of monogamy (one wife) for in the beginning, God created male and female; one Adam and one Eve
• Through Matrimony the two become one in Christ. Hence, they are no longer two but one body

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• Monogamy adopts its principle from the Bible, which always alludes to man having only one wife: “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her” (Mark 10:11), and as our teacher St. Paul says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and rejoined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31)

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• Continuity
• The purpose of Matrimony is continuance, without divorce, except in two distinct cases:
• One of the partners commits adultery.
• However, if the person who sinned repented and the partner forgave them, then the Church permits the continuation of the marriage
• Denial of faith and abandonment of Christianity by one of the partners

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The Goals of Christian Matrimony Cont.

• Bearing Fruit
• Through the Holy Spirit, the Christian family bears many fruits:
• Christian virtues in the life of its members
• Tithing, serving, scriptural readings
• The family must bring them up in the fear of God and in the Church
• Service and good deeds that glorify Our Father in heaven
• They should deal with all people in true Christian love, living a life of service and self sacrificing

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The Sacrament

• It is an invisible grace obtained through a visible sign by an ordained priest or bishop

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The Invisible Grace

• The function of this Sacrament is:
• To sanctify the matrimonial union and make it a spiritual one
• To help keep the husband and wife united and inseparable, just as the unity of Christ with the Church is everlasting
• To keep the husband and the wife loyal and faithful to each other

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“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6)

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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The Visible Signs

• There are three outward signs in this Sacrament:
• The declaration of the bridegroom and the bride in front of the Church that they wish, by their own free will, to be married to each other and that each will be loyal to the other till the end of life
• The matrimonial service that the priest performs and through which he asks for the Divine Grace to the bridegroom and the bride
• The Holy oil with which the bridegroom and the bride are anointed at the time of the matrimonial service

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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How To Pick The Right Partner

• Before marriage there is dating
• This is before marriage and ONLY for the purpose of marriage
• This is done at the right age! If it is done too early, it can have damaging emotional and spiritual effects

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• Where to select a partner?
• At church meetings or services

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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How To Pick The Right Partner Cont.

• What characteristics are to be looked for in a partner?
• Is he/she religious?
• Is he/she spiritual?
• Is he/she ready to be married or not?
• Are they mature?
• Do they have a good relationship with their family?
• Are they responsible?
• Do they serve?

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

32

Church Sacraments, Part 7 – Holy Matrimony

Objectives:

1. To study the significance and institution of this sacrament
2. To see the goals and characteristics of a Christian Matrimony
3. To acknowledge the obligations of husband and wife

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

33

The Obligations of The Husband and Wife

• During the engagement period:
• Do not waste time in exchanging warm feelings and emotions ONLY but use the time to discuss important matters like:
• Children
• Work
• Tasks at home
• Finances
• At Marriage
• Since Matrimony is one of the Church Sacraments, marriage should be performed through the church

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The Obligations of The Husband and Wife Cont.

• After Marriage:

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“And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4-5)

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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The Obligations of The Husband and Wife Cont.

• They both should work together to make the marriage work
• Each one should do what pleases the other partner
• There should be a mutual understating and general cooperation
• It is important to always keep God in the house and to remember the Christian goals of Marriage

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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What Should I Do Now?

• Invest in yourself and get ready to carry the responsibilities of marriage
• Excel in school to secure a bright future and good jobs
• Educate yourself about the different life aspects aside from school
• Science, travel, politics, sports, finance, banking, etc.
• Practice sports to gain self confidence and trust yourself to be able to make independent decisions
• Perform tasks at home like cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping
• Grow in spiritually and have an active relationship with your father of confession
• Trust that God will pick the right partner for you

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

37

Church Sacraments, Part 7 – Holy Matrimony

Objectives:

1. To study the significance and institution of this sacrament
2. To see the goals and characteristics of a Christian Matrimony
3. To acknowledge the obligations of husband and wife

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

38

Review Questions

1. Who established marriage between man and woman?
2. Why did God create Eve from Adam’s rib?
3. What is the meaning of a family?
4. What are The Goals of a Christian Matrimony?
5. What are the obligations of husband and wife before and after marriage?
6. How is marriage a church sacrament?

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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Memorization Verses

1. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22)

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• “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4)

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• “Likewise greet the church that is in their house” (Romans 16:5)

Lecture X, Servants Preparation Curriculum

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