COPING SKILLS
highlights
Helping children learn to name their emotions, identify how emotions feel in their body, and teaching coping skills when kids are calm are important pieces to teaching this skill.
developing skills
Make a Plan: When a child is already upset, it’s very hard for them to learn new coping skills or problem-solving strategies. Teach and practice these skills during times of calm, and then make a plan about when your child might use them. Ex. “What can you do when you’re angry at your little brother?”
Role-Playing: Use role-playing to practice different scenarios and appropriate emotional responses. For example, you could pretend to be a teacher, and your child can practice how to ask for help when they're feeling frustrated.
Create a Safe Space Calm Down Corner: Provide a safe and comforting space at home where your child feels secure expressing and feeling their emotions. This might look like a corner in their room with comforting books, toys, or fidgets that they can go to when they are experiencing big feelings.
Emotional regulation can be challenging for children because their prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and impulse control, isn't fully developed. They rely more on the amygdala, the brain's emotional center, often resulting in impulsive, emotion-driven reactions.
did you know?
Emotional regulation is the process of identifying your feeling(s) and making healthy choices that help you continue to be and do your best, even when you’re upset.
Everyone experiences uncomfortable emotions in life, and learning how to take care of them is important! Emotional dysregulation occurs when someone’s feelings are taking control of them, leading to unhealthy responses.
emotional regulation
supporting kids with…
Ms. Keeley Jones
keeley.jones@afcr.edu
name it to tame it
Help your child develop a habit of positive self-talk with affirmations like, "I can handle this," or "I am in control of my emotions." Create a list of affirmations together and practice saying them daily.
Teach your child to question and reframe unhelpful thoughts. For example, if they say, "I can't do this," encourage them to change it to, "This is hard, but I can try my best."
The simple act of identifying and naming feelings can help us feel a little better. Help your child with this by using phrases like, "I see you’re upset right now. Are you feeling worried? Or frustrated?”
Model this for your child by naming your own emotions out loud from time to time.
You can also help your child to understand clues in their body about feelings. For example, butterflies in the stomach or a face feeling hot.
extras
Books to Read With Your Child:
by Gabi Garcia
Coping Skills to Teach, Model, and Practice With Your Child:
positive self-talk
relaxation
Ms. Keeley Jones
keeley.jones@afcr.edu
supporting kids with…
FRIENDSHIP
highlights
Support friendships by teaching and practicing social skills and conflict resolution skills, encouraging empathy and perspective taking, and helping your child understand and maintain friendship boundaries.
developmentally
Ages 5-6: Children form basic, same-gender friendships and engage in parallel and simple cooperative play. They are learning empathy and turn-taking but often need adult help to resolve conflicts.
Ages 7-8: Friendships become more stable and based on shared interests. Children engage in more complex play, show increased empathy, and begin to resolve conflicts independently, though they may still need adult support for more complex issues.
Ages 9-10: Friendships deepen with a focus on trust and loyalty. Children develop better empathy, communication, and conflict resolution skills, handling most conflicts independently.
Books to Read With Your Child:
extras
Set up playdates with classmates or neighborhood friends
that include fun, cooperative activities.
Joining a club or team can also be a great way to support your child in making new friends and further developing social skills. You might also spend time at the local park or library.
fostering connection
Ms. Keeley Jones
keeley.jones@afcr.edu
Encourage your child to think about what they want in a friend, like someone who shares their interests or plays the way they like to play. Talk with them about potential friends and how to start a friendship. For example, you could say, "It sounds like you and Bryson both really love dinosaurs. Maybe you could ask him if he'd like to play with your toy dinosaur?"
When conflicts happen, help your child solve them by asking, "What happened? How did you feel? What do you think would make it better?" This helps them identify the problem, express their feelings, and find solutions. Role-playing different scenarios can also build their confidence in handling conflicts.
Ask questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when you invited them to play?” or “How do you think it would feel if someone said that to you?”
These conversations can help your child understand and appreciate others' feelings, which is key to building and keeping friendships.
friendship boundaries
Explicitly teach and practice the basics of social interaction, such as sharing, cooperation, taking turns, and conversational skills. Help your child learn to join in a group and initiate friendship by practicing phrases like “Can I play, too?” or “Will you be my partner?”
5 Tips to Support Your Child’s Friendships:
empathy and perspective taking
provide suggestions
model and practice
conflict resolution
Help your child understand healthy boundaries around touch (playful vs rude), joking (funny vs mean), telling others what to do (working together vs being bossy), exclusion (best friends vs leaving others out), and communication (positive chit chat vs gossip). This will help them be respectful of others’ boundaries and will help them identify when someone isn’t respecting theirs.
Ms. Keeley Jones
keeley.jones@afcr.edu
common reactions
talking about the event
It is OK to share what happened. Keep details factual. Be prepared to repeat information, possibly several times. Allow children to ask questions and be reassuring. Some children might not be ready to talk about it for awhile.
Other things you might say:
AFTER THE STORM
highlights
If problems worsen over time or cause significant disruptions in daily life, it might be time to seek additional support from a counselor or pediatrician.
What children need most after a natural disaster is to feel safe, to believe they have a sense of control in some way, to have hope, and to feel connected!
supporting kids with…
Ms. Keeley Jones
keeley.jones@afcr.edu
"It's important to remember that we don't have to fix everything for our students. Sometimes the best gift we can give is our presence, our listening ear, and our belief in their ability to overcome adversity.“ - Kristin Souers, author of Fostering Resilient Learners
how to help
Limit News Exposure: For both yourself and your children, watching, reading, or listening to news about the disaster can increase stress and anxiety. Also, pay attention to how often you pick up your phone to read about what's been happening - children notice our habits and often, unintentionally, notice what we're seeing.
Routine is King: When devastating events occur, it can seem strange to "go back to normal." However, children thrive in routine and consistency. This helps promote a sense of safety. Whether it's your daily schedule or family routines, keep them in place as much as possible.
Help Them Feel in Control: When scary things happen in the world, especially weather-related events, we feel a lack of power and control. Helping children to see what they do have control over (what they wear, how they do their schoolwork, what they play at recess, what show they watch at home) can help their mental well-being. You might also help them by giving them small responsibilities (watering a plant, organizing something) that help them feel a sense of mastery and confidence.
Encourage a Sense of Hope: The impacts of a natural disaster can leave us feeling hopeless, and as if things will never be good again. Help your child identify things they're hopeful for ("What do you think you'll do in art class next week?") and what they imagine for the future (“Imagine in five years the neighborhood has a new park. What type of play equipment do you hope it has?"). This also fosters a positive sense of connection!
Pay Attention to Your Own Stress: You have the difficult job of helping children navigate changes and manage their struggles while also managing it for yourself. Children watch adults’ reactions to assess how safe they are, and to see how they should be coping. Helping your child can also look like acknowledging and taking care of your own stress – that sometimes has to come first.
Ms. Keeley Jones
keeley.jones@afcr.edu
WORRY
Common signs of
anxiety in children
include sleep
disturbances, physical complaints, excessive clinginess or needing reassurance, irritability, and avoidance of certain activities or situations.
highlights
anxiety signs
did you know?
One in five children have a diagnosable anxiety disorder, and anxiety is the most common reason parents seek mental health support for their children.
Unmanaged anxiety has been linked to depression in teenagers and young adults.
Anxiety levels in children have increased in recent years, especially post-pandemic, making it a significant concern at school and at home.
Traditional approaches to managing anxiety in children, such as modifying schedules, reducing school days, or avoiding potentially anxiety-triggering situations, can increase avoidance behaviors, making anxiety intensify over time. It’s important to focus on long-term solutions that build resilience rather than short-term fixes.
Books for You:
Books to Read With
Your Child:
by Allison Edwards
extras
Help your child challenge worry thoughts and replace them with more helpful thinking. Rather than accommodating anxiety, support your child in gradually facing challenges.
supporting kids with…
Ms. Keeley Jones
keeley.jones@afcr.edu
While occasional
worry is normal for children, persistent and excessive anxiety that interferes with daily life might indicate a problem.
Consider speaking with your pediatrician, school counselor, or other specialist for guidance.
seeking help
Effective Strategies to Support Your Child:
Help your child notice when and how their anxiety typically shows up. Do they feel anxious before tests? In social situations? Understanding these patterns can help them prepare and develop strategies for managing anxious thoughts.
Help your child understand that anxiety is a normal biological response designed to protect us by making us more aware of and prepared for challenges. Emphasize that anxiety isn’t inherently bad but becomes a problem when it interferes with daily life.
educate
Instead of allowing your child to avoid anxiety-provoking situations, support them in gradually facing these challenges. For example, if your child is anxious about speaking in front of the class, have them practice first in front of family members. Teach them that feeling uncomfortable is a part of growth and that facing their anxiety reduces its power over time.
identify
thought challenging
coping skills
avoid accommodating
Help your child challenge worry thoughts by asking questions like “How likely is it that this will happen?” or “Is this thought helpful?” For example, if your child is worried about failing a test, help them reframe it by discussing how they can prepare and reminding them of past successes. This will help to shift their focus from fear to problem-solving.
Practice deep breathing exercises with your child like box breathing (inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, hold for four counts) to help them learn to calm their brains and bodies during times of worry.
Ms. Keeley Jones
keeley.jones@afcr.edu