EGL313 �GUIDANCE FOR CHILDREN�TOPIC 3

MISS CHEW PING PING

21st MAY 2022

11.30 am-1.30pm

TOPIC 3: Children’s Behavioural Problems – Overstimulation, Habits, Shyness, Crying and Bullying

• A stimulating environment to play in and explore helps your child learn and grow. But sometimes too many activities add up to overstimulation, so downtime is important for your child too. It’s all about finding a balance that’s right for your child.

What is overstimulation?

• Overstimulation happens when a child is swamped by more experiences, sensations, noise and activity than she can cope with.
• For example, a newborn baby might get very unsettled after a party where he’s been cuddled by lots of grown-ups.
• A preschooler might have a tantrum after a big event like a birthday party.
• A school age child might be cranky if he goes to school, then after-school care and then a swimming lesson.
• Overstimulated children get tired and can feel overwhelmed. When this happens, they need quiet time and a familiar, calm environment.

• Signs of Overstimulation If your newborn or baby is overstimulated, she might:
• • be cranky or tired
• • cry more
• • seem upset or turn her head away from you
• • move in a jerky way
• • clench her fists, wave her arms or kick.

• If your toddler or preschooler is overstimulated, he might:
• • seem tired, cranky and upset
• • cry and not be able to use words to describe his feelings
• • throw himself on the floor in tears or anger
• • tell you that he doesn’t want to do a particular activity anymore
• • refuse to do simple things like putting on a seatbelt.

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• You’ll get to know the particular signs that your child shows when she’s overstimulated.

• Balancing Activity Time and Quiet Time In the first five years of life, your child’s brain develops more and faster than at any other time in his life.
• Your child’s early experiences – the things he sees, hears, touches, smells and tastes – stimulate his brain, creating millions of connections.
• This means your child needs a stimulating environment with lots of different activities that give her plenty of ways to play and learn, and lots of chances to practise what she’s learning.
• But it doesn’t mean you need to spend all day every day dangling toys in front of your baby, or that you have to rush your child from school to extracurricular activities.
• Babies and young children also need quiet time in predictable and familiar settings.

Babies - Dealing with Overstimulation

• When you see that your baby is overwhelmed, take her somewhere quiet where she can calm down – for example, her cot.
• If you’re out with your baby, you can put her in the pram and cover it with a light wrap or blanket.
• Wrapping newborns and babies can help them calm down because it reduces physical sensations.
• Your baby might also find it soothing to be carried next to your body in a sling or something similar, as you go about your everyday activities.

Finding the Right Amount of Stimulation

• • For babies and young children, it’s a good idea to give your child some time each day to spend quietly playing or resting, apart from sleep time.
• • Your school-age child will probably benefit most from one or two extracurricular activities that he’s really interested in. Sport, music and other clubs can be a fantastic way to develop skills, make new friends and pursue interests. But too much time spent on organised after-school activities might mean your child misses out on time to relax and entertain himself.

Children and Habits

• A habit is a behaviour that your child does over and over again, almost without thinking.
• Often our children’s habits might bother or frustrate us, but usually it’s nothing to worry about.
• Children’s habits usually involve touching or fiddling with some part of their face or body.
• Sometimes children are aware of their habits, and sometimes they aren’t.

Why Do Habits Start?

• Habits can be comforting for kids. Sucking is a good example.
• As toddlers leave behind their baby stage, habits like thumb-sucking can be a way of soothing stress or anxiety.
• But anxiety isn’t always the reason for children’s habits.
• Sometimes habits happen because children are bored. That is, the behaviour is just how children entertain themselves.
• For example, children are actually more likely to bite their nails while watching TV or doing nothing at all than when they’re feeling anxious.

• Sometimes habits start for practical reasons but keep going when the practical reasons have gone.
• For example, young children with colds often pick their noses to clear them.
• Children who keep picking even after they’ve learned to blow their noses probably have habits

• Note: some toddlers seem to get comfort from some common but slightly unusual behaviour, including body-rocking, head-rolling and head-banging.
• These habits usually disappear by the age of 18 months.
• If they do not, a medical practitioner should be consulted.
• Some behaviour might look like a habit but have a medical cause.
• For example, if a child suddenly starts pulling or hitting an ear and is also cranky, it might be because she has an ear infection or is teething.

Breaking Habits

• Most habits go away by themselves.
• But if your child’s habit is getting in the way of everyday activities, has become embarrassing, or is even causing some harm, you might want to take action.
• For example, sucking thumbs or fingers is normal and common.
• But your child might be sucking fingers all the time.
• If this is getting in the way of talking or eating, or your child is being teased by peers because of it, it could be time to break the habit.

When to Get Help for Habits

• At about three years of age, thumb-sucking and finger-sucking can become a problem for children’s teeth development.
• If your child is still finger-sucking beyond three years, talk to your pharmacist about using other approaches, like a sticking plaster or a paint-on solution.
• The solution makes fingers taste yucky.

Habits in Children with Disability

• Children with disability might have more habits than typically developing children, or habits that are more pronounced.
• A psychologist or other specialist experienced with disability can help if you’re looking for more information.

Habit or Tic?

• Tics aren’t habits.
• Tics are muscle spasms that cause jerky movements that seem out of the child’s control.
• Examples include repeated blinking, face twitches and arm or shoulder jerks.
• Sometimes tics are caused by conditions like Tourette syndrome or by stress.
• A child might be able to stop a tic for a short time, but it will come back when the child stops thinking about it.
• If you feel a tic is distressing for your child, it’s best to seek help from a health care professional.
• Your GP is always a good place to start

Shyness

• Shyness:
• The Basics All children are born with individual temperaments.
• Temperament is the way a child interacts with the world. ‘Shyness’ is one type of temperament.
• Children with shy temperaments tend to be uncomfortable with social interactions.
• They sometimes keep away from social situations.
• Most children are clingy (see picture) sometimes, but clinginess comes and goes.
• Shyness doesn’t go away over time, but shy children can learn to be more confident and comfortable interacting with other people.

There’s nothing wrong with shyness.

• A shy child often ‘warms up’ as he gets to know a person or situation.
• This means it’s more helpful to describe a child as ‘slow to warm up’ rather than ‘shy’.
• Labelling a child as ‘shy’ can make him feel there’s something wrong with him, or there’s nothing he can do about his shyness.
• Instead you can say, ‘Leela takes a little while to warm up.
• Once she’s comfortable she’ll be happy to play’.
• This sends the message to your child and others that you understand how she feels, and she can deal with the situation when she’s ready.
• Not all babies and young children with ‘slow to warm up’ temperaments end up being shy adult.s

Supporting Your Child with Shyness

• It’s normal to want your child to be confident and comfortable in social situations, but this doesn’t come naturally to all children.
• This means that children who are slow to warm up need to practise social skills in small, manageable steps.
• You can help your child practise and learn by giving him the chance to be around others, encouraging and praising ‘brave’ social behaviour, showing him how to act in social situations, and supporting but not over-comforting him in social situations.

How to Tell If Shyness is a Problem

• Normal shy behaviour –
• There’s a range of normal shy behaviour.
• For example, it’s normal for a baby to cling to her parents, cry in a social situation, and physically try to avoid social interaction by hiding her head, moving or turning away, or shutting her eyes.
• It’s also normal for a preschooler not to talk when unfamiliar people speak to him.
• He might hide behind a parent, or avoid joining in games.
• And it’s normal for a school-age child to sometimes avoid answering questions in class, have trouble making friends, prefer to sit back and watch others play, or avoid new activities.

When Shyness Might be a Problem

• You can tell if your child’s shy behaviour is a problem by asking yourself whether it’s causing her (or you) a lot of distress.
• For example, your child might not be able to say ‘hello’ when someone greets her or look at someone when they’re talking.
• Perhaps you or your child can’t go places because of her shyness.
• Children who show shyness might also show signs of anxiety in social situations, like parties, coming into contact with other children, school and sporting activities.
• They might also talk about feeling lonely, and show signs that they want more friends but don’t know how to get past their shyness.

Important!

• If your child’s shy behaviour is interfering with his performance at school, or impacting on his friendships, this is a sign that it’s becoming a problem.
• Some shy children go on to develop anxiety.
• So, if your child’s shy behaviour is significant and hard to change, it could help to talk to a professional like a psychologist.

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• Sometimes children with language delays, autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or hearing problems can behave in ways that look like shyness.

Children Crying

• About Crying in Babies and Children All children cry when they’re hungry, tired, uncomfortable, sick or in pain.
• Sometimes they cry because they need affection.
• Toddlers and older children might also cry because they’re frustrated, sad or angry.
• But it can sometimes be hard to work out what your crying child needs, especially if she isn’t talking yet.
• So, when your child cries, start by checking that he isn’t sick or hurt. If you’re not sure, make an appointment with your GP.
• If your child is crying for another reason, there are lots of things you can do to help.

Babies: Crying

• Babies are born with the ability to cry.
• Crying is their main way of communicating.
• Around 1 in 10 babies cry a lot – ‘a lot’ means more than three hours a day.
• Babies under 12 months of age tend to cry most in the late afternoon and early evening.
• This can be very stressful, especially if you’re busy doing things like making dinner or giving older children a bath.
• This stage of intense crying will pass, probably sooner than you think.

Toddlers: Crying

• Toddlers cry for the same reasons as babies.
• But toddlers also cry as a way of dealing with new and difficult emotions like frustration, embarrassment or jealousy

Preschoolers and School-Age Children: Crying

• Children tend to cry less as they get older.
• Once your child can talk, it’s much easier for her to use words to tell you why she’s upset and what she needs.
• It’s also likely to be easier for you to talk with her about her feelings.

Bullying

• Bullying can be devastating for children’s confidence and self-esteem, especially in the preschool years.
• If your child is being bullied at preschool, he needs lots of love and support, both at home and at preschool.
• He also needs to know that you will take action to prevent any further bullying.

Talking with Your Child about the Bullying

• If your child is being bullied, one of the best ways to help her is to listen and talk about the bullying.
• It’s also a good way to find out more before you talk to the teacher about it.

The next step is showing your child that you care and will help:

• • Agree that there’s a problem: for example, ‘It’s not OK for someone to treat you like that’.
• • Praise your child: telling you about the bullying might not have been easy for your child. Praise will encourage him to keep sharing problems with you. For example, ‘I’m really pleased that you’ve told me about this’.
• • Make it clear that you’ll help: for example, ‘It sounds like things haven’t been so good. Let’s think about some things we could do to make it better’.
• • Avoid negative comments: it won’t help to say things like, ‘You need to stand up for yourself’ or ‘You poor thing. Never mind, you can stay home’.

Talking to Your Child's Preschool about the Bullying

If the Bullying Does Not Stop

• • Keep a record of what happens and when. If the bullying involves physical harm or damage to your child’s property, you could also take photos.
• • Write a note to the teacher saying that the bullying is still going on. Ask for your concern to be addressed in writing.
• • If the problem doesn’t seem to be getting better over time, speak to the preschool director or someone from the preschool management committee.
• • If you’re not satisfied with the results of your meeting with the director or committee, ask to make a formal complaint. Most preschools have a procedure for handling grievances.

What Your Child Can Do to Cope with Preschool Bullying

• Here are some ideas, along with ways to explain the ideas to your child:
• • Tell the bully to stop: ‘Standing up to bullies in a calm way lets them know that what they’re trying to do isn’t working’.
• • Stay around other people: ‘If you play with your best friends, the bully probably won’t bother you’.
• • Ask other children for help: ‘Other children probably understand what you’re going through and can help you if you need it. Bullies are less likely to strike if they can see that you have backup’.
• • Tell the teacher: ‘Your teacher can help you deal with the problem. The bully might not even know that the teacher is helping you. Bullying can be hard to handle, and grown-ups are there to help’.

Signs That YOUR Child is Bullying

• If your child is bullying, someone will probably tell you – a teacher, another child’s parents, or one of your child’s siblings.
• Other signs of your child bullying include your child:
• • talking about other children in an aggressive or negative way
• • having money, toys or other things that don’t belong to her. Neither of these signs means your child is definitely bullying, but you might want to talk to your child’s teacher to find out if there have been any problems at school.

THANK YOU