�����Thinking with a Growth Mindset!��
PAOCC Synod Clemson, S.C. - June 20, 2024
“Passing The Baton To the Next Generation!”
Re-Imagining BCN!
There’s �Power �in�Knowing�What �You �Don’t �Know!
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When you were eighteen, you were generally able
to shrug off life’s difficulties and move on.
That ability became more challenged by thirty.
By forty-five many things seemed to bother you.
And by sixty, you find it impossible to just
pick yourself up, adapt, and move on.
Even at 70, when most of life is behind you--
you are still worried!
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��Thinking is the hardest work there is:�Which is probably why so few engage in it!�����Let’s talk about Cognitive Laziness��
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Here’s what you DON’T KNOW about COMMON SENSE!
We store beliefs that we never question in a BOX
called “Common Sense!”
Common sense is often an obstacle in allowing us
to grow and change!
Common sense is believing so strongly that something is true that it never crosses your mind to question that belief!
Common sense beliefs make us repeat the same behaviors over and over, longer and harder, erroneously thinking ONE DAY they will work!
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Common sense blocks us from being OPEN to learning what we do not already know!!!
If you are unwilling to challenge/question your long-held common sense beliefs, you cannot grow, expand and fully actualize who you are, and find the satisfaction, health, wholeness and happiness you truly desire!
Sometimes in the pursuit of truth, you have to
be willing to prove yourself wrong!
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The ability to think and unlearn. Holding on to old views over the difficulty of grappling with new ones.
News Flash: Facts change! What was once right may now be wrong.
(Pluto, Phrenology/Skull shapes, Blank Slate Theory, Einsteins Static Universe, etc.)
Learn to
see your OPINIONS
as hunches, rather
than
as
TRUTHS!
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Reconsidering something we believe deeply can threaten our identities, making it feel as if we’re losing a part of ourselves. (William Glasser, Choice Theory)
Seizing �& Freezing�We update our possessions, �but stick to our knowledge, thoughts, ideas, �& opinions!
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If you have a fixed mindset, being wrong is a blow
to the Ego!
If you have a growth mindset, being wrong is merely a pathway to the
right answer!
OPINIONS
Our opinions are great, as long as
they’re in our own heads!
If we so choose to share them aloud, then we also bear
the responsibility to ground them in logic and facts!
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Things
you Know
Opinions You Hold
Assumptions You Make
Your Instincts/Intuition
Your Habits
Having An Open Mind
We live in a rapidly changing world, where we need to spend as much time rethinking, as we do thinking. We spend 7 hours and 11 minutes a day (110 days a year/one-third of our lives) looking at a screen! We consume 11 hours of info daily!
34 gigabytes of data or 100,000 words
heard or read
We lose most
of our newly acquired knowledge
within
a few days.
Humans have
short memories!
Within one hour, we forget an average of 50% of the information presented to us!
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A Few Basic Human Biases
Anchoring bias occurs when individuals rely too heavily on an initial piece of information (the “anchor”) when making decisions. This initial information sets a reference point for subsequent judgments and decisions. Even when faced with new information, individuals still give disproportionate weight to the anchor.
Once we hear the story and accept it as true, we rarely bother to question it!
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Confirmation Bias
Confirmation bias is not usually intentional, meaning it’s a type of implicit bias. It is a natural tendency of the way people think. We tend to rely on shortcuts in our mental processing.
It is easier to look for information that supports what we already know or believe to be true, rather than subjecting our views to contradictory information, which is discomforting.
So instead, we yield to our confirmation bias when reading about politics, such as when selecting articles to read on the internet.
How often do
we let go of knowledge and opinions that are no longer
serving us well?
When “feeling right” becomes more important than “being right,” you have stopped growing and evolving as a human being!
We take pride in our knowledge and expertise, and in staying true to our beliefs and opinions.
Rethinking is both a skillset and a mindset. As we think and talk, we often slip into the mindsets of three different professions: Preachers, Prosecutors,
and Politicians.
In each of these mental modes we take on a particular identity and use a distinct set of tools.
Overconfidence mode #1
Preacher Mode
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Preacher Mode – happens whenever our sacred beliefs are in jeopardy.
We automatically deliver sermons to protect and promote our ideals.
We present our pet theories as gospel and treat thoughtful critiques as sacrilege.
No proof required!
Judge Sheila Abdus-Salaam of New York State Court of Appeals
In memoriam ~ 1952 - 2017
Overconfidence mode #2 Prosecutor Mode
Prosecutor Mode
It happens whenever we recognize flaws in
other people’s
reasoning.
We quickly marshal arguments
to prove them wrong
and win our case!
We allow our views to be
swayed by popularity
rather than accuracy.
Too much training required!
Overconfidence mode #3
Politician Mode
Joseph Hayne Rainey of South Carolina, first Black person to serve in the U.S. House of Rep. - 1866
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC
Politician Mode – happens when we are trying to win over a person or an audience. We actively campaign or lobby for the approval of our constituents. We’re too hell-bent on debunking and discrediting, rather than discovering! No training required!
Dr. James West - Engineering Professor/Scientist latest invention is a smart digital stethoscope with artificial intelligence algorithms. In 1962 he invented an electret microphone to convert sound to electrical signals (ring tones)
Scientific Mode
Scientist Mode – happens when you’re able to rethink and to be consciously aware of the limits of your own finite understanding. You are able to doubt what you know, be curious about what you don’t know,
and update your views based on
new data/information/input.
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If we used scientific mode more often we’d make better choices and smarter decisions. It is easy to preach the virtues of our past decisions, prosecute the vices of alternative options, and politick by catering to advisers who favor the existing program, direction or leaders. In scientific mode, you say: I reserve the right to change my mind!
“I’m always right,
even more often than GOD!”
Jim Jones the famous Cult Leader who orchestrated a mass murder-suicide on March 22, 1976
Overconfidence mode #4
Cult Leader Mode
We all know someone who feels
they must impose their beliefs upon
others and will not cease until they
are successful at subjugating the
other’s will or until a loss of
the relationship occurs.
If your ideas and beliefs
are more important than
your relationships–
Houston, YOU have a problem!
Its time to wash, rinse,
but don’t repeat!!!
When your ideas become fanactical, your beliefs have fully and completely domesticated you, and knowledge becomes rigid and controlling. It has a tight grip on your will. Attachment to this degree requires you to try and domesticate everyone around you, and you become tyrannical.
There is no freedom
in tyranny!
“I have placed my sense of self in my knowledge, ideas, beliefs and opinions-- and have confused them with who I am. Through my attachment I have interpreted them as being a part of myself. An attachment is created to resist the possibility of that loss. I am always defending the object of my attachment in one way or another. In essence,
I am defending my definition of self.”
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Whenever we believe something without question, we create an attachment that detracts from who we truly are. The stronger our level of attachment the less we can see clearly and objectively.
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Things I don’t know
Things I think I know
Things I know
Things I know I know
Feigned knowledge is when people pretend to know things they don’t!
The more you think you know, the less interested you are in actually learning!
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“A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing!” When you lack the knowledge and skills to achieve excellence,
you probably lack the knowledge and skills to judge excellence.
Experience doesn’t always translate into expertise!
“Those who cannot change their mind, cannot change anything!”
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Newsflash: your beliefs are NOT bulletproof!
Every time you adopt a new belief, you draw a conclusion. Every time you draw a conclusion, it becomes a little death unto itself. . . You shut a door on your
own awareness.
You are dying in installments.
The more conclusions you make, the less alive you become!
You may call it “knowledge” but its just a bunch of conclusions. . . Knowledge has no end point!
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Mental horsepower and Mental dexterity are two different things.
“To resist change is to resist life and create unnecessary suffering.
The only place nothing changes is in the grave!”
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The five most annoying things people who resist change say, instead of rethinking:
“That will never work around here!”
“That’s not what my experience has taught me!”
“That’s too complicated; it cannot possibly work.”
“That’s the way we’ve always done it!”
“I was always told that we were supposed to blah, blah, blah, blah. . . “
When people are resistant to change, it helps to reinforce what will stay the same. This is why visions for change must include visions of continuity. Although our strategy/program/mission/ministry might evolve, our identity will endure.
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The curse of knowledge is that it closes our minds to what we don’t know, that we don’t know, that we don’t know! Good judgment depends on having the skill- and the will-
to open our minds. In life, rethinking is an increasingly important habit to possess.
Welcome
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Blindness:
The source of all false confidence
We all have blind spots in our knowledge and opinions.
The bad news is that they can leave us blind to our blindness, which gives us false confidence in our judgment and prevents us from even thinking about rethinking.
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“I once was lost but now I’m found! Was blind, but now?”
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The curse of knowledge is that it closes our minds to what we don’t know, that we don’t know, that we don’t know! Good judgment depends on having the skill- and the will-
to open our minds. In life, rethinking is an increasingly important habit to possess.
Welcome
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“With frenemies (aka biases) like these,
who needs enemies!?”
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Sometimes in the pursuit of truth, you have to be willing to prove yourself wrong!
The faster you are to recognize you’re wrong, the faster you can move toward getting it right!
Curiosity is more valuable than conviction!
Ignorance
+
Conviction
= Arrogance
“While humility is a permeable filter that absorbs life experience and converts it into knowledge and wisdom, arrogance is a rubber shield that life experience simply bounces off of.”
Ignorance
+
Conviction
= Arrogance
Ignorance
+
Conviction
= Arrogance
Ignorance
+
Conviction
= Arrogance
Ignorance
+
Conviction
= Arrogance
Ignorance
+
Conviction
= Arrogance
Ignorance
+
Conviction
= Arrogance
Ignorance
+
Conviction
= Arrogance
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The only way to fight ignorance is with a “fact-based” worldview
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Humility: one of the most crucial nutrients for the mind.
Don’t get stuck
on Mount Stupid!
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Contrary to popular opinion, the US has NO official language!
However, some states do designate it as their official language.
Walt Disney didn’t draw Mickey Mouse,
his best friend Ub Iwerks did, in 1928
You cannot see the Great Wall of China from space!
The average affects of sugar on children’s behavior is zero.
Even though parents disagree, studies show eating sugar
does not affect the behavior of MOST children.
It is just easy to blame sugar for a child’s behavior!
“Do not
get stuck
on Mount Stupid!
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We become blinded by arrogance when we’re utterly convinced of our strengths and our strategies. Confident humility is the ability to revise our beliefs, and to open our minds to rethinking.
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Attachment is what keeps us from recognizing when our opinions are off the mark and rethinking them.
We must be able to detach.
Detaching our present from our past and detaching our opinions from our identity.
Fun Fact: You are not
the person you were
25 years ago!
Reality: We all have attachment issues. Our beliefs are quite often overrated! When an idea or assumption doesn’t matter deeply to us, we’re less inclined to challenge it. However, when a core belief is questioned, we tend to shut down rather than open up. We protect our fragile ego (self-image) by feeding ourselves comforting lies. Truth: You are the easiest person for you to fool! Fact: We were not born with our opinions.
We have full control over what we believe. We choose our views, and if we are honest with ourselves-- we’re wrong on a regular basis. Our wrong opinions are shielded in filter bubbles, where we feel pride when we see only information that supports our convictions. We choose to only hear from other people who support our beliefs, so they can be intensified and validated.
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How to acquire wisdom:
1. Keep on living.
5. This realization brings new wisdom!
6. Repeat steps 1-5 for the rest of your life.
Have you ever experienced the thrill of not believing everything you think-- aka the joy of being wrong?
Learning requires the humility
to realize
one has something to learn.
Task Conflict vs. Relationship Conflict
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Task conflict arises from clashes about ideas and opinions.
Task conflict is typically healthy because it leads to more creativity, better decision-making,
and improves
critical thinking or problem solving.
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Relationship conflict arises from personal or emotional clashes about ideas and opinions. They are unhealthy because they are typically filled with friction or animosity.
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When a team or group has more relationship conflict than task conflict, they are much less productive. Personal feuds, proving yourself right, or being too busy disliking someone
gets in the way of the collective purpose or mission!
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Productive disagreement is a critical life skill!
Being able to have a
“good fight” not only makes us more civil, but also helps flex our
creative muscles!
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The clearest sign of intellectual chemistry isn’t agreeing with someone. It is enjoying your disagreements with them. Harmony is the pleasing arrangement of different tones, voices, or instruments, not the combination of identical sounds. Creative tension makes the most beautiful music!
We learn more from people who challenge our thought process than those who affirm our conclusions.
You become stronger by engaging your critics!
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“Good leaders challenge you because they care.”
“They dish out
tough love!”
“The intent is to elevate the work, not feed the ego!”
Silence disrespects the value of your views. . .
and your ability to have a civil disagreement.
Intellectual friction
is a
vital function
of
learning!
Exhausting someone in arguments �is not the �same thing as convincing �them!
To avoid allowing task conflict to spill over into
relationship conflict do the following:
Never argue about the “why”
Instead argue about the “how”
Don’t be over-confident in your position. . .
Always be willing to rethink.
Start a disagreement by asking, “can be debate?”
Ask the speaker to share more information with you,
or to unpack their position for the group.
According to best self philosophy, the quest for knowledge is never finished.
A good debate is not a war, it’s a dance
that hasn’t been choreographed.
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When Legacy meets Future, we must detach our past self from our current self. Evolving our identity can often leave one feeling derailed and disconnected. But over time, rethinking who you are becomes mentally healthy and healing, as long as you can tell a coherent story about how you got from the past to the present. The Laws of the Universe teach us that: Everything must change! We must change our minds as the world changes and knowledge evolves.
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Who you are is really a question of what you value, not what you believe!!!
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Think Like A Scientist, Act Like A Human
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To operate with a growth mindset
I must always:
Be open to questioning my knowledge
Be willing to challenge my attachments
Be able to discover new ways of understanding
Be aware of the strength of my own will
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We must remain open–minded about the best way to move forward and advance our struggle!
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