Skill: Showing Empathy | Learning Goal: Understanding Others
Grades: 9-12 | Activity Type: Lesson | Purpose: 🟢 Core Instruction
Be Good People Curriculum © St. Croix River Education District
What Does It
Mean to Be Compassionate?
There’s a difference between being good at reading someone’s mood and actually being willing to do something about it. How do you “show up” for people in your life?
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be putting all this on you. 😔
You’re not putting it on me. You’re putting it in front of me and we’re looking at it together. 🙂
What does it feel like when people “show up” for you as a listening ear instead of making you feel like a “burden”?
What’s the difference between:
Sympathy ⋅⋅⋅⋅ Empathy ⋅⋅⋅⋅ Compassion
Understanding what someone is feeling
Feeling what someone is feeling, putting yourself in their shoes
Doing your best to alleviate someone’s suffering
What connection(s) do you see between our topic and any of these values? Why?
Leah notices her friend trying to hide panic attacks before presentations. She remembers her own anxiety last year and how isolating it felt when people said "just calm down."
What would it look like to be empathetic in this situation? What’s important to consider?
What do you think defines an “empathetic” person? What would you need to see from someone to consider them empathetic?
Picture this!
TIP #1: |
If you've had a similar experience that helps you relate to the person, it's okay to share that, but be careful not to make the conversation about you. |
“What frustrates me is people I know who try to make everything about themselves. Sometimes I just want to vent, but they just try to one-up what I’m saying.”
Do you relate to what he’s saying or not?
How would you reply?
👍 👎
What’s your take?
TIP #2: |
Reflecting back what you heard, in your own words, is really helpful because it “proves” you were listening. Plus if you got it right, the person knows you understood them. It’s nice to ask, “Did I get that right or not?” Give them a chance to jump in and correct you if you misunderstood them. |
TIP #3: |
Sometimes people just want to "vent" to someone who will listen because it will help them to feel better. They don’t want you to try to solve their problem. If you offer help and the person doesn't appear interested, consider holding off on offering again and just listening instead. |
Is it possible to live empathetically but still have healthy boundaries in your relationships? What’s the line between showing up for the people you care about and taking care of yourself?
Marcus notices his friend awkwardly making excuses about why they can't go to the movies again. He remembers doing the same thing when his dad lost his job and he couldn't tell anyone why they suddenly couldn't afford any non-essentials.
Skip to end
Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?
Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?
Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?
Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…
Choose one ⬇
Tyler sees his younger sister struggling with math homework and getting frustrated. He remembers feeling stupid when he couldn't understand fractions last year, and how it helped when his tutor explained that everyone learns differently.
Skip to end
Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?
Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?
Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?
Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…
Choose one ⬇
Emma notices her friend fake a smile when someone asks about their college rejections. She remembers doing the same thing last week, and how tired she was of people trying to fix the situation with positive spins.
Skip to end
Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?
Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?
Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?
Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…
Choose one ⬇
Maya notices her teammate sitting alone after missing the winning shot. She remembers last season when the same thing happened to her, and how much worse it felt when people tried to say "it's just a game."
Skip to end
Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?
Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?
Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?
Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…
Choose one ⬇
The skills and values that we discussed included: