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R-RATED TORAH�THE STUFF WE NEVER TALK ABOUT �IN SHUL

Rabbah Rona Matlow

DMin Student

MAJEd, MAJS, MEM

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www.RabbahRona.us
www.RonaMatlow.com
@RabbahRona:

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ABOUT THE

PRESENTER

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This workshop is intended for adults and post B’Mitzvah teens only.
There is highly charged sexual content including Sexual Assault, Incest, BDSM, etc.
Caution and proper self-care are advised!

CONTENT WARNINGS

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Use of H’ / ה’ for four letter name

Avoids Gender, anthropomorphisms, and other issues common in modern spaces
Uses a Traditional solution for a modern problem

GOD LANGUAGE

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Explore texts in the Tanakh that are commonly ignored due to highly charged sexual content.
Explore the historical backgrounds of them as appropriate
Explore commentaries including Mikraot Gedolot, Midrash, Talmud, etc to have a full picture of what our Tradition teaches about these texts. In many cases it is quite surprising!

PURPOSE

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We have Written and Oral Torah

Oral Torah is reflected in

Talmud

Midrash

Halakha (Jewish Law)

Torah commentaries

etc.

WRITTEN AND ORAL TORAH

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CONTENT WARNING!

SEXUAL ASSAULT

The following slides discuss sexual assault. Please practice self-care as needed!

NOAH AND HAM

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ט: כא וַיֵּשְׁתְּ מִן-הַיַּיִן וַיִּשְׁכָּר וַיִּתְגַּל בְּתוֹךְ אָהֳלֹה:

כב וַיַּרְא חָם אֲבִי כְנַעַן אֵת עֶרְוַת אָבִיו וַיַּגֵּד לִשְׁנֵי-אֶחָיו בַּחוּץ:

9:21 Noah drank his wine and got drunk and became uncovered in his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside.

NOAH AND HAM

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After the Mabul (Flood) Noah plants a vineyard, gets drunk, “uncovered himself in his tent”. (Gen 9:21)
Ham “sees his father’s nakedness”. (Gen 9:22)
From the P’shat (plain meaning) this doesn’t sound so bad, but…

NOAH AND HAM

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ויקרא יח:ז עֶרְוַת אָבִיךָ וְעֶרְוַת אִמְּךָ לֹא תְגַלֵּה אִמְּךָ הִוא לֹא תְגַלֶּה עֶרְוָתָהּ:

You shall not uncover your father’s nakedness or your mother’s nakedness; she is your mother, DO NOT uncover her nakedness. (Lev 18:7)

This context is clearly about incest, thus our previous verse may have been as well!

NOAH AND HAM

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Every traditional Siddur (Including Conservative) has the Baraiita of R’ Yishmael on expounding Torah:

רַבִּי יִשְׁמָעֵאל אוֹמֵר, בִּשְׁלשׁ עֶשְׂרֵה מִדּוֹת הַתּוֹרָה נִדְרֶֽשֶׁת

Rabbi Yishmael states that there are thirteen ways the Torah is expounded upon:

(ב) וּמִגְזֵרָה שָׁוָה.

Gzeirah Shava is when the same (frequently unusual) word appears in two places, it must have the same meaning!

NOAH AND HAM

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Thus since Ham “uncovered his father’s nakedness” which has the context of incest, the commentaries went to town!

Rashi 11^th century French commentator extraordinaire):

יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים סֵרְסוֹ וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים רְבָעוֹ (סנה' ע’):

There are those who say (Ham) castrated (Noah) and those who say he raped (Noah)! (Sanhedrin 70A)

NOAH AND HAM

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Sanhedrin 70A

In this lengthy discussion in the bottom of the page, Rav and Shmuel, two well known Amoraim (Rabbis of the Talmud) who are famous for their arguments, dispute about what Ham did.

רב ושמואל, חד אמר: סרסו, וחד אמר: רבעו.

One said he castrated him, and one said he raped him. (Note that the Talmud does not identify which sage said which.) The Talmud then continues with Biblical proof texts with similar language to support each argument.

NOAH AND HAM

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Conclusion

Ham “Saw Noah’s nakedness”

He did a terrible sexual act (castration or rape) to Noah according to the commentaries
This results in Noah cursing Ham’s grandchildren (who have not yet been born)

NOAH AND HAM

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Three times in Bereshit a wife is presented as a sister in order to save the life of the husband who is afraid of the local king.
In each instance misfortune befalls the king, he discovers the truth, rebukes the Patriarch who says he didn’t trust the king or his people.
The king sends the Patriarch off with wealth and blessings.
Each time something different occurs in Torah (or Midrash) to ensure we know that the king did not have sex with the Matriarch.

SISTERS? WIVES? SISTER WIVES?

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יב:יא וַיְהִי כַּאֲשֶׁר הִקְרִיב לָבוֹא מִצְרָיְמָה וַיֹּאמֶר אֶל-שָֹרַי אִשְׁתּוֹ הִנֵּה-נָא יָדַעְתִּי כִּי אִשָּׁה יְפַת-מַרְאֶה אָתְּ: יב וְהָיָה כִּי-יִרְאוּ אֹתָךְ הַמִּצְרִים וְאָמְרוּ אִשְׁתּוֹ זֹאת וְהָרְגוּ אֹתִי וְאֹתָךְ יְחַיּוּ: יג אִמְרִי-נָא אֲחֹתִי אָתְּ לְמַעַן יִיטַב-לִי בַעֲבוּרֵךְ וְחָיְתָה נַפְשִׁי בִּגְלָלֵךְ:

12:11 It occurred as (Abram) came to approach Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, look please, I know you are beautiful. When the Egyptians see you they will say “she is his wife” and they will kill me and let you live. Please say you are my sister so it will be well for me because of you, and my soul will live on account of you.

SISTERS? WIVES? SISTER WIVES?

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כ:ב וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְרָהָם אֶל-שָֹרָה אִשְׁתּוֹ אֲחֹתִי הִוא וַיִּשְׁלַח אֲבִימֶלֶךְ מֶלֶךְ גְּרָר וַיִּקַּח אֶת-שָֹרָה:

Abraham said regarding his wife Sarah “she is my sister”, and Avimelekh the king of Gerar sent out and took Sarah.

A note about Avimelekh – as a Philistine, here we have a recorded story of a Macedonian Greek interfering in Middle East history roughly 4,000 years ago. European involvement in the Middle East is deep and long lasting!

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כו: ו וַיֵּשֶׁב יִצְחָק בִּגְרָר: ז וַיִּשְׁאֲלוּ אַנְשֵׁי הַמָּקוֹם לְאִשְׁתּוֹ וַיֹּאמֶר אֲחֹתִי הִוא כִּי יָרֵא לֵאמֹר אִשְׁתִּי פֶּן-יַהַרְגֻנִי אַנְשֵׁי הַמָּקוֹם עַל-רִבְקָה כִּי-טוֹבַת מַרְאֶה הִוא: ח וַיְהִי כִּי-אָרְכוּ-לוֹ שָׁם הַיָּמִים וַיַּשְׁקֵף אֲבִימֶלֶךְ מֶלֶךְ פְּלִשְׁתִּים בְּעַד הַחַלּוֹן וַיַּרְא וְהִנֵּה יִצְחָק מְצַחֵק אֵת רִבְקָה אִשְׁתּוֹ:

Isaac settled in Gerar. The men of the place asked about his wife, and he said “she is my sister” because he was afraid to say she is his wife lest the men of the place kill him because of Rivka, since she is beautiful. And after a long while there, Avimelekh, the king of the Philistines happened to look out the window and saw “behold!” Isaac was engaged in sex-play with Rivka his wife.

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In each case, Pharaoh once and Avimelekh twice, the king finds out about the deception and challenges the Patriarch over the deception.

In the Abraham stories, God afflicts the kings. In Isaac’s story, Avimelekh had the fortune to discover this for himself, and never took Rivka.

What do the texts tell us about Sarah that preserves her virtue? This is important, in order to preserve Isaac’s yichus (lineage)!

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In the case of Pharaoh it’s not a concern because Isaac’s birth hasn’t been prophesied yet.
But in Avimelekh’s case it is a concern, thus:

In a dream, God approaches Avimelekh, and in their conversation we see

ד וַאֲבִימֶלֶךְ לֹא קָרַב אֵלֶיהָ וַיֹּאמַר אֲדֹנָי הֲגוֹי גַּם-צַדִּיק תַּהֲרֹג:

Avimelekh had not approached (Sarai), and he said (to God) Adonai, would you also kill a righteous nation?

God affirms Avimelekh’s innocence to him.
Avimelekh then sends Avram and Sarai away, and pays a ransom price to testify that he never touched Sarai.

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In an amazing Midrash in the Talmud (Yevamot 64A-B) we find the following:

אמר רבי אמי אברהם ושרה טומטמין היו שנאמר (ישעיהו נא, א) הביטו אל צור חוצבתם ואל מקבת בור נוקרתם וכתיב (ישעיהו נא, ב) הביטו אל אברהם אביכם ואל שרה תחוללכם

Rabbi Ami said, Abraham and Sarah were Tumtums, as it says (Is 51:1) look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the hollow of the pit from which you were drawn, and it is written (Is. 51:2) Look at Avraham our Father and Sarah who gave birth to you.

The rock from which you were carved refers to the penis being formed.

The hollow pit from which you were drawn refers to the vagina. מקבת has the same root as נקיבה, female.

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Note – a Tumtum is one born without external genitalia. In the Talmud this is a theoretical construct only.

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This Midrash is said of Avraham and Sarah as their state before Yitzhak is born

Thus it also shows that Avimelekh could not have fathered Yitzhak.

But… what is the problem with this Midrash?

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An issue we often see with Midrashim is that they solve a particular textual problem, but they create problems with the text elsewhere.

If Avraham was a Tumtum until God formed him into a Zakhar, a male, in order to father Yitzhak, he could not have fathered Yishmael 13 years earlier!

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Another issue – How could Abraham and Isaac marry half sisters?

יח:ט עֶרְוַ֨ת אֲחֽוֹתְךָ֤ בַת־אָבִ֙יךָ֙ א֣וֹ בַת־אִמֶּ֔ךָ מוֹלֶ֣דֶת בַּ֔יִת א֖וֹ מוֹלֶ֣דֶת ח֑וּץ לֹ֥א תְגַלֶּ֖ה עֶרְוָתָֽן׃

You shall not uncover the nakedness of your sister, the daughter of your father or your mother, born in your house or born elsewhere, you shall not uncover her nakedness. (Lev. 18:9)

SISTERS? WIVES? SISTER WIVES?

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Now, traditional Jews will argue “Matan Torah (the giving of Torah at Sinai) hadn’t happened yet, therefore the Patriarchs and Matriarchs were not subject to Torah.

Again there is Midrash about this, that the Patriarchs learned (and followed, although this is more legend and not written) ALL of Torah in the Academy of Shem (Noah’s son) and Eiver (Shem’s grandson).

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Sefer HaRokeach

When Avram -- he is Avraham -- saw the upheaval in the world, he thought about how it must have been before everything. He was 48-years-old at the time, and he spent three years by himself [thinking etc.], until Hashem said to him, "Get involved with Shem the son of Noach." The son of a wise one gladdens his Father in Heaven. Avraham continued to think about the One Who formed him, and how He formed the world, until he came to write Sefer Yetzirah. He delved, saw, understood, carved, pruned, refined, formed, and thought until he succeeded. Ultimately, the Master of All was revealed to him, and He placed him in his bosom and kissed him on his head and called him, "My beloved"...

Translation Sefaria.org (NJPS)

SISTERS? WIVES? SISTER WIVES?

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וּדְבָרוּ מַלְאֲכֵי מְרוֹמָא יַת יִצְחָק וְאוֹבִלוֹהִי לְבֵי מֶדְרָשָׁא דְשֵׁם רַבָּא וַהֲוָה תַּמָן תְּלַת שְׁנִין

Targum Yonotan on Gen 22:19

And the angels on high took Yitzchak and brought him to the Beit Midrash of Shem the Great, and he was there (to learn) for three years (after the Akeidah).

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We are very troubled by the idea that our Patriarchs married relatives forbidden by Torah, when reading from the lens of our time.
However, it is important to read Torah from the lens of its time, where this type of relationship was very common, and issues such as the problems from inbreeding were not known.
People in the book of Genesis were not subject to the laws of Torah, despite Midrash that they learned Torah.
People in Genesis are deeply flawed!

SISTERS? WIVES? SISTER WIVES?

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CONTENT WARNING!

INCEST

The following slides discuss INCEST. Please practice self-care as needed!

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כא:ט וַתֵּ֨רֶא שָׂרָ֜ה אֶֽת־בֶּן־הָגָ֧ר הַמִּצְרִ֛ית אֲשֶׁר־יָלְדָ֥ה לְאַבְרָהָ֖ם מְצַחֵֽק׃

Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, who was born to Avraham, “m’tzaheik”.

M’tzaheik can mean play, tease or worse. Let’s look:

ISHMAEL AND ISAAC - מצחק

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דָּרַשׁ רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא וַתֵּרֶא שָׂרָה וגו', אֵין מְצַחֵק אֶלָּא גִּלּוּי עֲרָיוֹת, הֵיךְ מָה דְאַתְּ אָמַר (בראשית לט, יז):

בָּא אֵלַי הָעֶבֶד הָעִבְרִי אֲשֶׁר הֵבֵאתָ לָנוּ לְצַחֶק בִּי, מְלַמֵּד שֶׁהָיְתָה אִמֵּנוּ שָׂרָה רוֹאָה אוֹתוֹ לְיִשְׁמָעֵאל

מְכַבֵּשׁ גִּנּוֹת וְצָד נְשֵׁי אֲנָשִׁים וּמְעַנֶּה אוֹתָן.

R’ Akiva used to expound, “And Sarah saw etc.,” ‘m’tzaheik’ can only mean immoral conduct (sexual acts), as in the verse (Gen. 39:17) “The Hebrew servant that you brought to us came upon me for sex”. This teaches that our Matriarch Sarah saw Yishmael ravish maidens, seduce married women and sexually abuse them.” (Bereishit Rabbah 53:11)

Note that we also saw this verb above with Yitzhak and Rivka in Gerar, in a sexual context!

ISHMAEL AND ISAAC - מצחק

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The older daughter said to the younger, our father is old and there are no more men to come to us in the way of the world. Let us get our father drunk with wine and have sex with him and give life to seed from our father. And they got their father drunk with wine that night, and the older daughter went and had sex with her father; and he did not know when she laid down or got up. And the next day, the older daughter said to the younger, look, I had sex with our father yesterday; let’s get him drunk on wine again tonight so you can go have sex with him and bring seed to life from our father. (Gen 19:31-34)

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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We have already read the prohibition on incest with parents so this feels shocking to us!
Lot’s daughters believed they were all that was left of humanity, justifying their actions.
This leads to Moab and Ammon.
But were they Mamzers? – A mamzer is a person born from a prohibited relationship, such as incest or adultery.

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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Judah saw (Tamar) and thought she was a prostitute because she covered her face. He went to her at the road, and asked her to have sex with him, because he did not know that she was his daughter in law, and she said “what will you give me to have sex with you?...” And after three months, Judah was told that Tamar, his daughter in law, had whored herself and become pregnant through her whoring, and Judah said bring her out to be burnt. She was brought out and she sent a message to her father in law saying, “I became pregnant by the man to whom these items belong, do you recognize the ring, seal and staff?” And Judah recognized them and said “she is more righteous than me, because she was not given to my son Shelah, and he never had sex with her again.

(Gen 38:15-16, 24-26)

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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In the Judah and Tamar story, Judah thinks he is meeting a prostitute, although it is not clear in the story if she is a sex worker or a cult prostitute.
After he learns it was actually Tamar, he never has sex with her again – even though the Midrash does not say Judah learned in the Academy of Shem and Ever, one might assume that Jacob taught him Torah so he knew the law of levirate marriage and treated this as such, except that the son’s father cannot perform levirate marriage. He is the one relative excluded!

טו עֶרְוַ֥ת כַּלָּֽתְךָ֖ לֹ֣א תְגַלֵּ֑ה אֵ֤שֶׁת בִּנְךָ֙ הִ֔וא לֹ֥א תְגַלֶּ֖ה עֶרְוָתָֽהּ:

You shall not uncover the nakedness of your daughter in law, she is the wife of your son, you shall not uncover her nakedness. (Lev 18:15)

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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With Judah and Tamar, the relationship brings forth Peretz, the ancestor of Boaz.
This relationship seems to violate two prohibitions though:

Incest with daughter in law
Levirate marriage law because of above.

But are their children Mamzers?

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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כג:ג לֹא-יָבֹא מַמְזֵר בִּקְהַל יְהוָֹה גַּם דּוֹר עֲשִֹירִי לֹא-יָבֹא לוֹ בִּקְהַל יְהוָֹה:
A Mamzer shall never join H’s congregation, even to the tenth generation, he shall not join H’s congregation.

(Deut 23:3)

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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And Shimon HaTimni holds in accordance with the opinion of the Rabbis, who say: It is with regard to the widow waiting for his father to perform levirate marriage that the verse is speaking, and it indicates that she is one of the women with whom relations render one liable to receive karet. And in close proximity to that verse is the verse: “A mamzer shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 23:3). Apparently, only the offspring of a union for which one is liable to receive karet is a mamzer. (Yevamot 49a) (Translation Sefaria.org/NJPS)

This would seem to directly apply to Judah and Tamar!

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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As we saw earlier, however, this is BEFORE KABBALAT TORAH.
Therefore, both the offspring of Lot’s daughters and Judah and Tamar are NOT considered Mamzeirim!
Moabite men are prohibited, because Moab did not greet Israel on the road, but Moabite women after the tenth generation ARE, according to the Talmud:

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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Yevamot 78b:6

Reish Lakish said: A mamzeret, a female mamzer, is permitted after ten generations. Why? He derived this halakha by way of a verbal analogy between the word “tenth” stated in relation to an Ammonite and a Moabite in the verse “An Ammonite or a Moabite shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to the tenth generation shall none of them enter into the congregation of the Lord forever” (Deut 23:4), and the word “tenth” stated in relation to a mamzer in the verse “A mamzer shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord; even to the tenth generation shall none of his enter into the congregation of the Lord” (Deut 23:3) He explained the analogy as follows: Just as below, with regard to an Ammonite and a Moabite, females are permitted, so too here, with regard to a mamzer, females are permitted.

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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Conclusion

Ruth, the Moabite

Boaz, the descendant of Judah and Tamar

Both came from problematic relationships. Had Torah been given at Sinai these people would be considered Mamzers already. But because this was before Matan Torah, they are not Mamzers.

Nonetheless, the union of Ruth and Boaz leads to King David and the Moshiach, the Messiah. This ultimate redemption comes from multiple prohibited relationships. Thus this actually gives hope to marginalized people in the community, because it shows that if a favored person like King David can come from such stock, they are welcome as well!

ARE THEY MAMZERS?

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כד:ב וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אַבְרָהָ֗ם אֶל־עַבְדּוֹ֙ זְקַ֣ן בֵּית֔וֹ הַמּשֵׁ֖ל בְּכָל־אֲשֶׁר־ל֑וֹ שִׂים־נָ֥א יָֽדְךָ֖ תַּ֥חַת יְרֵכִֽי: ג וְאַשְׁבִּ֣יעֲךָ֔ בַּֽיהוָֹה֙ אֱלֹהֵ֣י הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וֵֽאלֹהֵ֖י הָאָ֑רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֨ר לֹֽא־תִקַּ֤ח אִשָּׁה֙ לִבְנִ֔י מִבְּנוֹת֙ הַֽכְּנַֽעֲנִ֔י אֲשֶׁ֥ר אָֽנֹכִ֖י יוֹשֵׁ֥ב בְּקִרְבּֽוֹ:

Abraham said to his servant, the elder of his house, the leader of all that was his, “please place your hand under my thigh.” And I will cause you to swear an oath to H’ the God of the Heaven and the God of the Earth, that you will not take a wife for my son, from the Canaanite women that I live amongst.

ELIEZER – HOLD THIS

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What does שִׂים־נָ֥א יָֽדְךָ֖ תַּ֥חַת יְרֵכִֽי actually mean?

Rashi:

תחת ירכי - לפי שהנשבע צריך שיטול בידו חפץ של מצוה, כגון ספר תורה או תפילין, והמילה היתה מצוה ראשונה לו ובאה לו על ידי צער והיתה חביבה עליו ונטלה:

So that the one swearing would grasp in his hand, an object of Mitzvah, such as a Sefer Torah or Tefilin, and the Milah was the first Mitzvah of (Avraham) and he fulfilled it with great pain, and he cherished it, and (Eliezer) grasped it.

ELIEZER – HOLD THIS

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וכל כך למה מפני שמוציא שכבת זרע לבטלה דא"ר יוחנן כל המוציא שכבת זרע לבטלה חייב מיתה שנאמר (בראשית לח, י) וירע בעיני ה' (את) אשר עשה וימת גם אותו

The Gemara (Niddah 13A) asks, why must a man refrain to that extent from holding his penis while urinating? Because he might come to ejaculate on the ground. As Rabbi Yohanan said “anyone who ejaculates on the ground is subject to death (at the hand of Heaven) as it is said (Gen 38:10) “and he was evil in the eyes of H’ for what he did, and H’ killed (Onan) also.

ELIEZER – HOLD THIS

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This feels like a very homoerotic scene – Avraham having Eliezer grab his penis – specifically the site of his Milah to swear the oath.
The rabbis saw this as praiseworthy in Avraham because of who he was and their love and respect for him.
Yet for ordinary men, and even the High Priest (see Mishna Yoma) the rabbis did not believe they could control themselves to prevent wanton ejaculation
Thus they enacted very detailed procedures for how the penis is to be handled for inspections, cleaning and urinating!

ELIEZER – HOLD THIS

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CONTENT WARNING!

SEXUAL ASSAULT

The following slides discuss sexual assault. Please practice self-care as needed!

DINAH AND SH’KHEM

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לד:ב וַיַּ֨רְא אֹתָ֜הּ שְׁכֶ֧ם בֶּן־חֲמ֛וֹר הַֽחִוִּ֖י נְשִׂ֣יא הָאָ֑רֶץ וַיִּקַּ֥ח אֹתָ֛הּ וַיִּשְׁכַּ֥ב אֹתָ֖הּ וַיְעַנֶּֽהָ: ג וַתִּדְבַּ֣ק נַפְשׁ֔וֹ בְּדִינָ֖ה בַּת־יַֽעֲקֹ֑ב וַֽיֶּֽאֱהַב֙ אֶת־הַֽנַּֽעֲרָ֔ וַיְדַבֵּ֖ר עַל־לֵ֥ב הַֽנַּֽעֲרָֽ:

Sh’khem, the son of Hamor the Hivi, the ruler of the land, saw (Dinah), and took her and had sex with her and oppressed her. And his sould clung to the daughter of Jacob and he loved the young woman, and he spoke to the heart of the young woman.

DINAH AND SH’KHEM

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There is much debate about what happened

Anita Diamant in The Red Tent said it was not rape
Likewise in my queer midrash “I Ruled an Empire on my Knees” https://drive.google.com/file/d/1hF3n-9z2T_fl_bekId10WUr3_S_tFr1U/view?usp=sharing

DINAH AND SH’KHEM

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Bereshit Rabbah on our verse (80.5)

And he had sex with her: This was vaginal intercourse (lit. the normal path).
And he oppressed her: This was anal intercourse (lit. not the normal path).

Ibn Ezra (12^th Century Spain)

ויענה. כדרכה בעבור היותה בתולה:

He oppressed her: He had vaginal sex with her. (The term he oppressed her is used) because she was still a virgin.

DINAH AND SH’KHEM

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Ramban (Nachmanides) (12^th century Spain) rejects all these arguments saying:

ואין צורך כי כל ביאה באונסה תקרא ענוי

And none of these are necessary, because ALL sexual activity BY FORCE is called oppression.

Thus, Ramban’s conclusion is that Sh’khem raped Dinah.

DINAH AND SH’KHEM

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After Shimon and Levi kill all the men in the City of Sh’khem and Jacob takes them to task, they reply:

וַֽיֹּאמְר֑וּ הַֽכְזוֹנָ֕ה יַֽעֲשֶׂ֖ה אֶת־אֲחוֹתֵֽנוּ:

They replied, “Should our sister be treated like a whore?”

In modern parlance, “Should our sister be slut-shamed?”

DINAH AND SH’KHEM

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Conclusion

There is debate among the sages and the commentaries about what happened.
Likewise modern scholars disagree about what happened.
Nonetheless, this was a very emotional disturbance.
Having been molested myself, and having provided sexual assault counseling to survivors, I know how charged this topic is!
If you are feeling overwhelmed right now, please practice self care!

DINAH AND SH’KHEM

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לה:כב וַיְהִ֗י בִּשְׁכֹּ֤ן יִשְׂרָאֵל֙ בָּאָ֣רֶץ הַהִ֔וא וַיֵּ֣לֶךְ רְאוּבֵ֔ן וַיִּשְׁכַּ֕ב֙ אֶת־בִּלְהָ֖ה֙ פִּילֶ֣גֶשׁ אָבִ֑֔יו וַיִּשְׁמַ֖ע יִשְׂרָאֵֽ֑ל

While Israel stayed in that land, Reuven went and laid* with Bilhah the concubine of his father, and Israel heard;

*The exact meaning in the verse is unclear.

REUVEN AND BILHAH

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The Talmud, Midrash and Mefarshim are all of one voice. Reuven did not actually have sex with Bilhah. He went in and messed up his father’s bed in Bilhah’s tent.

Why? After Rachel’s death Jacob should have moved into his mother, Leah’s tent instead!

REUVEN AND BILHAH

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The Zohar (I:175b) states “During the lives of Leah and Rachel, the Shekhinah hovered over them, and now that they had died, the Shekhina never departed from the house, but took up her abode in the tent of Bilhah.”

Translation from

In the Image of God – A Feminist Commentary on the Torah. Antonelli. 100-101

REUVEN AND BILHAH

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Note that in commentaries on other Parshiot, Antonelli comments on Egyptian and Canaanite practices (this was also common in Greco/Roman kingdoms) that if a King died, the King’s son would take his mother as his new wife. Incest was very common and this kind of conquest was common in these communities.

We already know of Greek influence in Canaan (Avimelekh the Philistine), and Jacob’s family have been exposed to both Egyptian and Canaanite practices.

Leviticus Ch 18 begins with a warning to not follow these practices.

REUVEN AND BILHAH

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Conclusion

We cannot translate our verse precisely in this case
The Rabbis are of one mind that Reuven acted honorably, or he would have been completely disinherited, which he was not.
Influence by other cultures – Greek, Canaanite and Egyptian may have been at play here.

REUVEN AND BILHAH

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BDSM!

CONTENT WARNING

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To understand this bizarre passage, first we need to explore a couple things:

כה:כזb וְיַֽעֲקֹב֙ אִ֣ישׁ תָּ֔ם ישֵׁ֖ב אֹֽהָלִֽים:

Gen 25:27b And Jacob was a simple man who dwelled in tents

We must always read Bible in the lens of its time.

Primarily, women stayed in the tents during the day. Thus Jacob staying in the tents suggests his gender identity is genderqueer. Many scholars have recognized this.

JACOB WRESTLES WITH GOD

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In an anthology of Christian Bible scholarship, a scholar named Roland Boers wrote an article titled:

Yahweh as Top: A Lost Targum

In this article, he proposes that God is the ultimate top in a BDSM dungeon that includes a number of famous characters including Moses and Sigmund Freud.

JACOB WRESTLES WITH GOD

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Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn. When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he wrenched Jacob’s hip at its socket, so that the socket of his hip was strained as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for dawn is breaking.” But he answered, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” Said the other, “What is your name?” He replied, “Jacob.” Said he, “Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with beings divine and human, and have prevailed.” Jacob asked, “Pray tell me your name.” But he said, “You must not ask my name!” And he took leave of him there. So Jacob named the place Peniel meaning, “I have seen a divine being face to face, yet my life has been preserved.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping on his hip. That is why the children of Israel to this day do not eat the thigh muscle that is on the socket of the hip, since Jacob’s hip socket was wrenched at the thigh muscle. (NJPS/Sefaria translation) Gen 32:25-33

JACOB WRESTLES WITH GOD

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https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo/male-hip-bone.html

JACOB WRESTLES WITH GOD

The Hebrew says the unknow person touched כף ירך – the hip socket, of Jacob. Thus we do not eat the גיד הנשה – GID HANASHEH. In Ashkenazic traditions, we don’t know what this is so we don’t eat the hind part of the animal.

Note that GID is one of the terms used in the Talmud for the PENIS, making this potentially a homoerotic scene. Certainly a groin or sexual organ injury would cause Jacob to limp.

Note that the male hip joint is not near the groin! So it’s really unclear what was actually injured.

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Because of Jacob’s possible gender identity – and
Because of the Boers’ article
And because the renaming states that Jacob wrestled with God and survived, this has the taste of a BDSM dungeon where Jacob was a queer bottom, topped by (a messenger of) God.

JACOB WRESTLES WITH GOD

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Conclusion

This is a very mysterious text
We do not know who this man was that Jacob contended with
We do not know the exact nature of Jacob’s injury
We do not know what the Gid Hanasheh is
Many have drawn different conjectures from this scene

JACOB WRESTLES WITH GOD

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Joseph

Multicolored coat:

וְיִשְֹרָאֵל אָהַב אֶת-יוֹסֵף מִכָּל-בָּנָיו כִּי-בֶן-זְקֻנִים הוּא לוֹ וְעָשָֹה לוֹ כְּתֹנֶת פַּסִּים:

And Israel loved Joseph more than all his other sons because he was a son of his old age, and he made for him a colorful coat. (Gen 37:3)

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This term appears only one other place in Tanakh:

יח וְעָלֶיהָ כְּתֹנֶת פַּסִּים כִּי כֵן תִּלְבַּשְׁןָ בְּנוֹת-הַמֶּלֶךְ הַבְּתוּלֹת מְעִילִים וַיֹּצֵא אוֹתָהּ מְשָׁרְתוֹ הַחוּץ וְנָעַל הַדֶּלֶת אַחֲרֶיהָ:

And (Tamar {Amnon’s half sister}) was wearing a colorful coat (bridal gown) because this is how virgin daughters of the King were dressed, and she was brought out to serve, and the door was closed after her.

(Shmuel B, 13:18)

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Colorful Coat continued

This creates a problem

By the Gezeira Shava (we already learned this) these two items are connected.

Does this mean Joseph is wearing some kind of woman’s dress?

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יוֹסֵף בֶּן שְׁבַע עֶשְׂרֵה שָׁנָה וגו' (בראשית לז, ב), וְאַתְּ אָמַר וְהוּא נַעַר, אֶלָּא שֶׁהָיָה עוֹשֶׂה מַעֲשֵׂה נַעֲרוּת, מְמַשְׁמֵשׁ בְּעֵינָיו, מְתַלֶּה בַּעֲקֵבוֹ, מְתַקֵּן בְּשַׂעֲרוֹ.

Joseph was 17 etc. (Gen 37:2) and you would come to say that he was youthful, but rather that he would act childishly, such as he wore eye makeup, lifted his heels and curled his hair.

Gen Rabbah 84.7

Are all these childish or a queer identity?

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וַיְהִ֣י יוֹסֵ֔ף יְפֵה־תֹ֖אַר וִיפֵ֥ה מַרְאֶֽה:

And Joseph was beautiful in form and beautiful in appearance (Gen 39:6b)

Joseph is the ONLY male in Tanakh who merits this description. This also raises questions about his identity!

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Potiphar

א וְיוֹסֵ֖ף הוּרַ֣ד מִצְרָ֑יְמָה וַיִּקְנֵ֡הוּ פּֽוֹטִיפַר֩ סְרִ֨יס פַּרְעֹ֜ה שַׂ֤ר הַטַּבָּחִים֙ אִ֣ישׁ מִצְרִ֔י מִיַּד֙ הַיִּשְׁמְעֵאלִ֔ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר הֽוֹרִדֻ֖הוּ שָֽׁמָּה:

Joseph was brought down to Egypt and Potiphar, the Saris of Pharaoh, the Chief Steward, an Egyptian man, bought him from the Ishmaelites, who brought him down there. (Gen 39:1)

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In our verse, Potiphar is called both Saris and Sar.

Saris can mean minister, but its usual biblical context is Eunuch (see Is 56: 3-5, read on Public Fast Days)

Sar always means minister.

There is a principle that “The Torah does not cough.” It is very deliberate in choice of words. So thus, use of Saris must imply its more unique meaning of Eunuch, and not its shared meaning of Minister.

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When Joseph is appointed Grain Minister over Egypt, Pharaoh gives him Asnat bat Potifera, Kohein On, as his wife. (Gen 41:45)

Rashi on our verse cites the Talmud (Sotah 13B) with the explanation for the name change:

Rav says: He purchased the handsome Joseph for himself, for the intended purpose of homosexual intercourse, but was unable to fulfill his desires, as the angel Gabriel came and castrated Potiphar [seireso]. Then Gabriel came again and further mutilated him [fero] in the same part of his body. This is alluded to in the verses that write Potiphar’s name differently: Initially, it is written “Potiphar” (Gen 39:1) and in the end it is written “Poti-phera” (Gen 41:45). The change in his name indicates that a part of himself was mutilated. (Sefaria/NJPS)

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The Ma’aseh we’ve just read from the Gemara explains how Potiphar could have fathered a child AND be a Eunuch.

It also notes how Potiphar’s wife would be sexually unsatisfied, so she would also go after Joseph.

Note that Antonelli, in her book previously referenced, writes that it was common in the Egyptian court to castrate or fully emasculate court ministers to keep them fully subservient.

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Potiphar’s wife

The only person in the story to be unnamed.

It is often the case that women with major roles in Tanakh go unnamed.

In 39:7, she begs Joseph to have sex with him. His response:

וַיְמָאֵ֓ן

He refused – but so adamantly that it is only on of FOUR places in Torah where the Shalshelet trope is used!

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The next time this happens is worse!

One such day, he came into the house to do his work. None of the household being there inside, she caught hold of him by his garment and said, “Lie with me!” But he left his garment in her hand and got away and fled outside. When she saw that he had left it in her hand and had fled outside, she called out to her servants and said to them, “Look, he had to bring us a Hebrew to dally (לצחק) with us! This one came to lie with me; but I screamed loud. And when he heard me screaming at the top of my voice, he left his garment with me and got away and fled outside.” She kept his garment beside her, until his master came home. Then she told him the same story, saying, “The Hebrew slave whom you brought into our house came to me to dally with me; but when I screamed at the top of my voice, he left his garment with me and fled outside.” (Sefaria/NJPS) (Gen 39:11-18)

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She emphasizes Hebrew because to Egyptians, Hebrews are Toeivah – abominations! Yet Joseph is not only in her house, he is a master of all but Potiphar and her. So she feigns repulsion that he would try to have sex with her!

Dally: Our friend לצחק from Isaac. Sexual contact in a negative context!

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She uses her wiles in telling Potiphar to get him especially angry!

When his master heard the story that his wife told him, namely, “Thus and so your slave did to me,” he was furious. (Sefaria/NJPS) (Gen 39:19)

Rashi on our verse: AND IT CAME TO PASS WHEN HIS LORD HEARD etc. — She said this when he was alone with her, caressing her. This is what she meant by כדברים האלה “ things like these did thy servant do to me” — caresses such as these.

(Sefaria/NJPS)

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Potiphar knew he had to act, but he was kind to Joseph!

So Joseph’s master had him put in prison, where the king’s prisoners were confined. But even while he was there in prison, (Sefaria/NJPS) (Gen 39:20)

Ramban on our verse: Scripture relates that they placed Joseph in the king’s prison because of his master’s love for Joseph, all of which was caused by G-d. (Sefaria/NJPS)

Potiphar could have placed Joseph in the most awful place, but instead put him in the best place!

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Summary

Joseph can be read as a very beautiful, gender queer man. He is highly desired for sex, especially by the unsatisfied Mrs. Potiphar.
Potiphar was a Eunuch, but fathered a child before being emasculated by the Court of the King. He was unable to satisfy his wife, thus her advances on Joseph.
Mrs. Potiphar (Unnamed by the Torah – a frequent lapse for significant women in Tanakh) is unsated, and repeatedly makes passes at Joseph, which he rebuts.

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Summary (cont’d)

When Mrs. Potiphar grabs Joseph’s cloak as he runs away, she is able to fabricate a rape story which results in Joseph being imprisoned.
The ultimate revenge is that when Joseph is elevated to Pharaoh’s Grain Minister, he is given Potiphar’s (Poti-phera) daughter as a wife. This must have been a huge humiliation and disappointment to Mrs. Potiphar, who could never have Joseph.
You can only imagine how she would have berated the emasculated Potiphar for this!

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We have seen a selection of very surprising and intense scenes from Genesis.
There are many more in the rest of Tanakh, but this book is so jam-packed that it makes more than enough for one session!
Many of these incidents can be personally triggering to readers when studied deeply.
Nonetheless, it is still critical to know the true meanings of these texts!

SUMMARY