The Human Side of Startupland

Andre Carothers

The Goal

Build, maintain, and/or repair the critical relationships with yourself, and the people around you,

so…

You (as a person)

are growing

and

your team is growing

• in performance
• in connection
• in satisfaction

Why? 20 Reasons Why Startups Fail

• You lost focus *
• Disharmony on your team *
• Pivot gone bad *
• Lack passion *
• Bad location *
• No financing or investor interest
• Legal challenges
• Didn't use your network and advisors *
• Burnout *
• Failure to pivot *

• No market need (40%)
• Ran out of cash *
• Not the right team *
• You got out-competed *
• Price and cost errors *
• Bad product *
• Bad business model *
• Poor marketing *
• You ignored customers *
• Bad timing (too soon or too late) *

​

Product? Or People?

Why? It’s all about the You and your Team

”I didn’t have the partnerships I needed to balance me…

and provide sanity checks for the business and technology decisions I made.”

HOW?

• Leading is transactions one after the other.

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• Each transaction is a chance to enhance relationships.

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• The ultimate goal is to wrap each transaction in a suite of personal, relational, and practical skills.

​

And make that a habit.

Key Assumption #1

“Who you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you are saying.”

​

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who you are leaves a trail, a wake,

visible and invisible.

This trail matters.

Your success depends on it.

Key Assumption #2

​

Success means learning to

make a habit of:

This is your company culture, and

“Culture Eats Strategy for Lunch”

Individual Skill-building

Team Skill-Building

Building

and maintaining Powerful Relationships

Taking the Group Pulse

Staying Current

as things change

Key Assumption #3

We are trainable.

Specific, meaningful change is possible

(if you want it)

Unconscious incompetence

Conscious incompetence

Unconscious competence

​

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Conscious competence

(habit)

“Soft Skills”

Self-Awareness

Courage

Commitment/ Persistence

Vulnerability

Practice

Really?

Leadership? You Can Be

You

You

You

You

You

and more

Simple

​

But Not Easy

​

We are human!

​

• Easily triggered
• Make up stories
• Hate to “not know”
• Like to read each other's minds
• Dislike so-called “process”
• Deeply fear confrontation

​

The Mastery Model -The Three Spheres of Influence

The Brain (Self-Tuning)

Your inner state

calmness confidence

steadiness connectivity

​

Auditory Cues

inflection

pacing

Visual cues

Posture

facial expressions

Harness the non-verbal:

Behavior

Listening

General Self-Awareness

Interpersonal Skills

Your Triggers, Fears, Boundaries, Blind Spots

Moving relationships forward - productive conflict, difficult conversations, negotiation, etc.

Inquiring into reality, the real one and the perceived one

Speaking

Toolbox

Culture-

building

Running

Meetings

Benchmarking

​

Negotiation

​

Decision-

Making

Diversity,

Belonging, Inclusion,

Justice

Difficult

Conversations

Feedback-

Rich

workplace

Delegating

Planning

Evaluating

Celebrating

The Flywheel of Change

How This Will Work

Grand Tour

• Mastering Relationships (Self-Tuning)

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• Mastering Relationships (Performance Tools)

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• Mastering Relationships (Culture-Building)

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• Mastering Relationships (Giving and Receiving Feedback)

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• Mastering Relationships: Decisions, Delegation and Group Alignment

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• Mastering Relationships (Staying on Your Side of the Net and the Ladder of Inference)

Exercise: What is Your Team’s Heartbeat?

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Leadership is

Taking your pulse

and making skillful changes

Two Ways to Measure

• Rate Your Relationships
• For your eyes only
• Coach through
• Team Assessment
• Everyone fills it out
• Results to you
• at first
• Coach through

Rate Your Relationships

• On Your Own
• We coach through the results together

click: Rating Form

Team Assessment

• Everyone fills it out
• Results to you
• Coach through it together

​

click: Team Assessment

Personal 360-Degree Survey

• It’s about your leadership
• Everyone on your team fills it out
• Results to you
• We coach through it together
• You report out to you team

click: Personal 360

Links

• ​

Mastering Relationships Website

All the Decks

and articles

Thanks

Andre Carothers