WLS MENTAL GYMNASTICS

THE MIND/EMOTIONAL GAMES WE PLAY AFTER BARIATRIC SURGERY

BERTHA E. RODARTE, PHD

LICENSED PSYCHOLGIST

IDENTIFY YOUR EMOTIONS

WHAT DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT?

• Emotionally heavy
• Sadness
• Shame
• Embarrassment
• Anger
• Worry
• Fear

WHAT IS AN EMOTION?

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• A spontaneous mental reaction to the world or situation we are in.
• A strong feeling (as anger, love, joy, or fear) often accompanied by a physical reaction.
• Any emotion is a thought making its way through your body.
• If you are anxious you feel it in your body with fluttering, stomach ache, sweating, tears or laughter.

THE WEIGHT OF EMOTIONS

• Emotions weigh down on you more than your weight.
• You have to turn your negative emotions to better emotions.
• How you do feel happy when I’m tired, in pain, embarrassed…

YOUR INNER CRITIC/JUDGE

• What is the harsh critic in your mind telling you?
• You have to stop negative talk or your inner critic.
• “I’m not enough, I’m ugly, I can’t”
• There has to be 5 positive thoughts to 1 negative thought.

THE POWER OF SELF TALK

• Identify your automatic thoughts & write them down
• Train yourself to stop and listen when you have an emotion
• Find evidence against your negative belief
• Practice, practice, practice (Visual, auditory, and verbal reinforcement)

BEGIN TRAINING YOUR MIND

ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL IT

• Take one step at a time.
• The more you push those feelings down the more they want to emerge.
• Start with the idea that it is possible to be happy or change.
• You have to think it and have affirmations
• You have to FEEL it! Feel those thoughts going through your body.
• Lemmon Exercise

PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

1. On waking, sit in your bed or a chair in a relaxed posture. Close your eyes and connect with the sensations of your seated body. Make sure your spine is straight, but not rigid.

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2. Take three long, deep, nourishing breaths—breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. Then let your breath settle into its own rhythm, as you simply follow it in and out, noticing the rise and fall of your chest and belly as you breathe.

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3. Ask yourself: “What is my intention for today?” Use these prompts to help answer that question, as you think about the people and activities you will face. Ask yourself:

How might I show up today to have the best impact?

What quality of mind do I want to strengthen and develop?

What do I need to take better care of myself?

During difficult moments, how might I be more compassionate to others and myself?

How might I feel more connected and fulfilled?

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4. Set your intention for the day. For example, “Today, I will be kind to myself; be patient with others; give generously; stay grounded; persevere; have fun; eat well,” or anything else you feel is important.

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5. Throughout the day, check in with yourself. Pause, take a breath, and revisit your intention. Notice, as you become more and more conscious of your intentions for each day, how the quality of your communications, relationships, and mood shifts.

DO THE MOTIONS

• Stand tall- Let go of the burden
• Literally, walk tall and build this into your routine.
• Smile more and get rid of the frown- practice it.
• Project your voice- talk it out to others.

OUTSIDE FORCES

When your body agrees with you then your thoughts will change.

Don’t let outside forces ruin your thoughts/joy

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Maybe you have heard….

Oh our family has always been overweight

You are going to struggle losing weight

Bariatric surgery is risky

EMOTIONAL MIND GAMES

Have you ever told yourself….

• I can’t see it
• I still see a fat person

There are 2 types of bariatric patients:

1) Obese since childhood or youth

2) Obese later in life (pregnancy/ hysterectomy/divorce/death of a loved one/injury/illness).

• These experiences are very different.
• Never lived as an adult as an average size person so you will see an overweight person. Accustomed to how you looked your entire life.
• When you were thinner it is easier to remember how you looked.

MIND GAMES

• One psych visit does not fix this mindset.
• If you were obese then there is a disordered view of self, food, and weight.
• You have to do mind work before and after surgery.
• You can’t reset your mind on a liquid diet. It reinforces your belief I can’t do it or I returned to old behaviors.
• The only way to reset your mind is through sitting with your emotions and listen to your mind. Do not shut off your thoughts or feelings.
• Write out goals
• You must journal
• Take photos to see your changes

BEGIN THE JOURNEY

• The surgeons part was not hard (1 hour surgery).
• Goal set regularly
• Journal weekly

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RELATIONSHIPS WILL CHANGE

1. Romantic relationship
2. Work
3. Family and friends (you become average of 5 people you hang around with)
4. SELF - you can’t hold on to old self
5. Food (it is engrained with your definition of self)

FEAR

• The worse mind game is “I’m afraid to regain the weight.”
• It is a bariatric patient’s number 1 fear!!
• The only reason you gained weight is food you placed in your mouth.
• You got off track, lost your routine, or resorted to grabbing and going.

WHY did you choose to eat the food?

• Regain shows up in unhealthy obsession (measure food, weigh food, worry about every carb). Obsession causes WORRY and you become controlling. Fear of losing control.
• Regain shows up when there is lack of knowledge “I don’t know” or “no one told me”. Passive about weight. I have no control and I can’t do anything about it.

SHIFT YOUR BALANCE

Shifting the balance to give your slow brain more power takes some work, though. Here are some ways to get started.

1. Trip over what you want to do. If you intend to do some yoga or to meditate, put your yoga mat or your meditation cushion in the middle of your floor so you can’t miss it as you walk by.

2. Refresh your triggers regularly. Say you decide to use sticky notes to remind yourself of a new intention. That might work for about a week, but then your fast brain and old habits take over again. Try writing new notes to yourself; add variety or make them funny so they stick with you longer.

3. Create new patterns. You could try a series of “If this, then that” messages to create easy reminders to shift into slow brain. For instance, you might come up with, “If office door, then deep breath,” as a way to shift into mindfulness as you are about to start your workday. Or, “If phone rings, take a breath before answering.” Each intentional action to shift into mindfulness will strengthen your slow brain.

SOLUTION

• Self love is the answer.
• You have to let go of fear.
• You love yourself enough to have a routine, say no, and stay on the path.
• You cut out negative relationships and choose you.
• You can’t make tough decisions if you don’t love yourself enough to be healthy.
• Invest in yourself
• Your dreams and goals need to be bigger than your weight

CONCLUSION

• You have to have an arsenal of thoughts ready to help you not believe them.
• Associations with others has to change.
• The second you give up a habit there is a vacuum so you hate to change old favorites.
• You see an empty plate and I want to eat more. “I can’t eat damnit and I’m sad.” Buyers remorse will lead to weigh gain.