#sharethejoy

jane

#sharethejoy

Changed:

• “The problem is that our world and our education remain focused exclusively on external, materialistic values” (29).
• “We cannot discover lasting happiness through our senses” (51).

​

Challenged

• “How can I help to spread compassion and love?”(40).
• “We come factory equipped for cooperation, compassion, and generosity”(57).

​

Confirmed: I am a big believer that human experience is a learning/growth opportunity.

I have Romans 5:3-5 tattooed on my side. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5

• “This was not a denial of pain and suffering, but a shift in perspective--from oneself and toward others, from anguish to compassion”(37).
• “The more we heal our own pain, the more we can turn to the pain of others...to be a reservoir of joy, an oasis of peace, a pool of serenity that can ripple out to all those around you...more empathetic, more empowered, even more spiritual state of mind…”(63).
• “...our greatest joy is when we seek to do good for others” (59).
• “People are aware that you are authentic (72)....when I meet people, I do it on a human-to-human level, no need for formality. I really hate formality” (73).

​

amy

#sharethejoy

Take Away: “...human beings have the ability to make a distinction between the rational level and the emotional level….Like the ocean has many waves on the surface but deep down it is quite calm.” - Dalai Lama (pae 84-85)

​

​

​

​

Confirmed My Thinking: For much of human history, whether in Tibet, or Africa, or anywhere in between, there were fears and worries, some of them major, like whether there would be enough food for the winter. But these concerns were made more manageable by having a close and connected life (page 95-96)

​

​

“I always see myself as first and foremost as just another fellow human. That way, there is in fact no need for introduction.” -Dalai Lama (page 100)

paul

#sharethejoy

• big takeaway: Ubuntu philosophy
• "When we see others as separate, they become a threat. When we see others as part of us, as connected, as interdependent, then there is no challenge we cannot face --together." (p. 100)
• "it's the hard times, the painful times, the sadness and the grief which knit us more closely together." (111)
• All of page 127...materialistic life, Ubuntu, deeper human values - we are who we are through one another, how our humanity is bound up in one another.

• big takeaway: Treatment of Self and Others
• I think we have to accept ourselves where we are. And then hope to grow in much the way Dalai Lama described...know the things that trigger us...you can train, you can change, but we ought not be ashamed of ourselves... Negative thoughts are unavoidable. ....(don't make them more intense with guilt and shame) (85)
• "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." (118)
• Suffering is caused by how we relate to others: "envy toward the above, competitiveness toward the equal and contempt toward the lower." (135)

• big takeaway: Perspective
• Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act despite it." (p. 94)
• "...grief is a reminder of the depth of our love." DANG! (113)
• "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." (118)
• Suffering is what makes you appreciate the joy...Actually it's an opportunity destiny has given you" (146) (Your past is your superpower.)
• ...but these experiences (sufferening and anxiety) can, with the right way of thinking, lead you to have great inner strength… (156)
• "Now you see, we are guests here on this planet, visitors who have come for a short time, so we need to use our days wisely, to make our world a little better for everyone." (166)
• ​

Big Takeaway #1: Stress and anxiety often come from too much expectation and too much ambition. Then when we don’t fulfill that expectation, we experience frustration (pg. 96).

​

Big Takeaway #2: When we feel our grief, uncomfortable and aching as it may be, it is actually a reminder of the beauty of that love, now lost (pg. 113).

​

Big Takeaway #3: The suffering is what makes you appreciate the joy (pg. 146).

jenny

#sharethejoy

jane

#sharethejoy

“Look how beautiful you all are..”(141)

Takeaway #1: Warmheartedness

• “The only thing that will bring happiness is affection and warmheartedness”(129).
• Focus on how we react to events in our life (83).
• “Openheartedness is the antidote to loneliness”(131).
• Rejoice in others good fortune (140).
• In the wake of tragedy, warmheartedness and sense of opportunity can help people to thrive (145-147).
• “...smile and say hello”(126).

Takeaway #2: Vulnerability

• “You are made for perfection, but you are not yet perfect. You are a masterpiece in the making”(92).
• Vulnerable leadership (94). “...we need to be willing to admit our vulnerability”(104).

Takeaway #3: Fear and Self-Centeredness

• Avoiding “self-centeredness” will lead to less chronic stress and loneliness.
• “Where there is fear, frustration will come. Frustration brings anger” (102). “If you feel fear and distrust, then other people will distance themselves”(129).
• Paradox on page 130= valuable reminder.
• Stop focusing on fairness, which we are innately wired to do(136).
• “..you will be surprised by the joy the minute you stop being too self-regarding”(148).
• “...these sorrows happen to all people, not just to us”(157).

melinda

#sharethejoy

​

• big takeaway: “Mudita is based on the recognition of our interdependence or Ubuntu. The Archbishop explains that in African villages, one would ask in greeting, ‘How are we?’ This understanding sees that someone else’s achievements or happiness is in a very real way, our own” (141).
• changed: “Mental immunity is just learning to avoid the destructive emotions and to develop the positive ones” (83)... “We should not berate ourselves for our negative thoughts and emotions, that they are nature and unavoidable. They are only made more intense by the glue of guilt and shame when we think we should not have them” - the Dalai Lama (85).
• challenged: “I think it takes time to learned to be laid-back (91) | Meditation: Now I’ll Tell You a Secret Thing: “The real secret of freedom may simply be extending this brief space between stimulus and response (179)...I have heard it said that prayer is when we speak to God, and meditation is when God answers” - Bishop Tutu (181).
• confirmed: “‘Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act despite it.’ The English word courage comes from the French word cœur, or heart; courage is indeed the triumph of our heart’s love and commitment over our mind’s reasonable murmurings to keep us safe” (94-95).

​

kate

#sharethejoy

Takeaway 1: “be more realistic so we can come to some sense of inner peace now, rather than always chasing after our expectations and ambition… (p. 97) Learning to live in this moment and enjoy this moment.

​

Takeaway 2: Hope versus Optimism

Optimism is dependent on our feelings; hope is on our convictions (p. 122). Hope is not what’s in your head, but what’s in your heart, soul and being.

• Jane Goodall says, “hope is a survival instinct. Hope is more humble than faith and optimism since no one can know the future.”

​

Takeaway 3: We should, need, to recognize our shared humanity. We all have the desire to be happy. It’s the “we” instead of the me.

• Through my work with Servas International and Friendship Force, this is what we strive for...understanding and sharing as humans.

​

Takeaway 4: We should think about our mortality (yikes)--we need to make our lives meaningful now, in each moment. (p. 166)

alli

#sharethejoy

Changed: p. 120 “Yes, there are many, many things that can depress us. But there are also very many things that are fantastic about our world. Unfortunately the media do not report on these because they are not seen as news.” Sometimes it is just a change of perspective that is needed to provide further happiness.

Challenged p. 129 “Much depends on your attitude…...even living a hermit’s life, you will never feel lonely.” I could never be a hermit, so perhaps this is difficult for me to wrap my head around. I agree completely with the open heart, trust and friendship part, yet, being a hermit and still not feeling alone- I don’t know?

Confirmed p. 154-155 “...Deep down we grow in kindness when our kindness is tested.” Only when it is against our nature to be kind, will you continue to grow into a more sophisticated nurturing person.

jill

#sharethejoy

Big Takeaways:

​

“There is a Tibetan saying that adversity can turn into good opportunities, even a tragic situation can become an opportunity. There's another Tibetan saying that it is actually the painful experiences that shine the light on the nature of happiness. They do this by bringing joyful experiences into sharp relief. (145) Suffering is inevitable. How you respond to suffering is a choice. The goal would be to make some meaning from it and use the experience to grow and learn.

​

Grief is a part of suffering and is a reminder of the depth of our love. “Without love, there is no grief. So when we feel our grief, uncomfortable and aching as it may be, it is actually a reminder of the beauty of that love, now lost.”(113)

​

Concern for the well-being of others is the source of joy. It shifts our focus from our own pain and suffering. The Tibetan concept of Tonglen talks of taking the pain and fear from others and giving them love and compassion. That sense of humanity and interconnectedness helps to get through hard times through that relationships we have with others. The Archbishop talked about us being born and dying dependent on others. And during that in between we still need to remain connected and dependent on each other.

​

katie

#sharethejoy

Changed:

Sadness: may have benefits in our lives - causes us to reach out to one another in support and solidarity. “We don’t really get close to others if our relationship is made up of hunky-dory-ness. It’s the hard times, the painful times, the sadness and grief that knit us more closely together.”

​

The idea of mental immunity.

​

Challenged: The ability to stop and think about others’ actions and what they might be dealing with. Anger/frustration calmed by trying to relate or sympathize.

​

Confirmed:

A powerful remedy for envy: gratitude. (and motivation) (and reframing)

Why do I want to have ____? And if I do want ____ then why don’t I aim to work towards it?

Also the idea that jealousy destroys peace of mind and relationships.

​

paul

#sharethejoy

Perspective

Gratitude

Humility

Generosity

Joy is the happiness that does not depend on what happens. (245)

First paragraph (248)

Wisdom is like rainwater--both gather in the low places (pg. 212)

“With our thoughts, we make our own world” (194)

Shift perspective from i and me and mine to we and us and ours. (199)

Purpose, fundamentally, is about how we are able to contribute and be generous to others, how we feel needed by and of value to others. (266)

Ubuntu - a person is a person through other persons. (270)

jenny

#sharethejoy

Perspective

Gratitude

Humility

Generosity

“I can’t tell you why why they are not happy, but I can tell you that I’m happy because I choose to be happy.” (pg. 246)

“As human beings, we can’t solve everything or control all aspects of life. We need others. (pg. 209)

​

Wisdom is like rainwater--both gather in the low places (pg. 212)

“Perspective is nothing less than the skull key that opens all the locks that imprison our happiness.” (Pg. 196)

“Just thinking about generosity significantly increases the production of IgA antibodies” (Pg. 265)

​

Generosity is something we learn to enjoy by doing. (Pg. 264)

jane

#sharethejoy

Pillar Takeaways

Perspective:

• “When you look at the same event from a wider perspective, your sense of worry and anxiety reduces, and you have greater joy” (194-95).
• “Take something bad that happened in the past and then consider all the good that came out of it”(197).

Humility:

• “Whenever I see someone, may I never feel superior”(207).
• “I never saw my mother’s angry face”(208).
• “While we may not be special, we are essential”(210).
• “If you don’t have genuine love and kindness toward yourself, how can you extend these to others?”(212).

Gratitude:

• “Forgiveness allows us to move beyond the past and appreciate the present, including the drops of rain falling on our face”(245).
• Power of smiling

Generosity:

• “...our joy is enhanced when we make someone else happy”(263).
• “We are made for goodness”(267).

melinda

#sharethejoy

perspective:

• “For every event in life, there are many angles” (194).
• “Our perspective toward life is our final and ultimate freedom” (195).
• “Wonderful -- that ability to see wonder, surprise, possibility in each experience and each encounter that is a core aspect of joy” (241).

humility:

• “Humility is the recognition that your gifts are from God...Humility allows us to celebrate the gifts of others, but it doesn’t mean you have to deny your own gifts or shrink from using them” (211).

gratitude:

• “Joy is the happiness that does not depend on what happens. It is the grateful response to the opportunity that life offers you at this moment” (245).
• “The world didn’t give you your joy and the world can’t take it away” (245).

generosity:

• “Generosity of spirit -- big-hearted, magnanimous, tolerant, broad-minded, patient, forgiving, and kind” (274).
• “When we practice a generosity of spirit, we are in many ways practicing all the other pillars of joy” (275).

​

​

​

This requires perspective, humility, gratitude, and generosity.

alli

#sharethejoy

Perspective

Humility

Page 200 at the top - “self- involvement” a better predictor of death than smoking, high cholesterol levels, or high blood pressure. The focus on the us and community is key. Made me think of podcast that explained cultures with most centennials lived in a multigenerational community or home. Focus on communal good.

Page 208 “I always remember that we are all the same.” When leaders lead and those in position of leadership and authority remember this, they can be so much more powerful. Same goes for us as teachers with our students.

I just picked two. Figured that would be more than enough talking points :)

sharon

#sharethejoy

Acceptance-It allows us to engage with life on its own terms rather than rail against the fact that life is not as would would wish.....Stress and anxiety come from our expectations of how life should be. (225)

​

​

katie

#sharethejoy

Perspective: the way we see the world is the way we experience it. Different angles, widen perspective reduces anxiety and sense of worry. Even in the most limiting circumstances we have choice and freedom- even if that is the attitude we take

​

Humility: arrogance creates a separateness that isolated us from others. Too much focus on self leads to fear, insecurity, anxiety. If you don’t have genuine love and kindness toward yourself, how can you extend these to others?

​

Gratitude: moving from counting burdens to counting blessings. Don’t ignore the negative but choose to appreciate the positive

​

Generosity: giving of time- develop a sense of purpose.

Perspective….

“.. our ability to reframe our situation more positively. Our capacity to experience gratitude and our choice to be kind and generous..” (p 194)

“With our mind we create our own world’ (p. 194)

“Perspective is nothing less than the skull key that opens all the locks that impression our happiness..” (p196)

“Wider perspective and larger perspective” (p. 196)

*I like to think where can I find the silver lining….

”No one should be in that big of a hurry” - The man in Walgreens

​

​

Humor…

“I can either laugh or cry”... famous words and advice from my Mom

“He said that laughing and crying are the same thing… laughing just feels better.” (p 216)

“Humor, like humility, comes from the same root word for humanity: jumus. The lowly and sustaining earth is the source for all three words. Is it any surprise that we have to have a sense of humility to be able to laugh at ourselves and that to laugh at ourselves reminds us of our shared humanity?” (p 216)

*we sometimes need to be careful with humor… not everyone can find humor in some situations…

kelly

#sharethejoy

Forgiveness…

“To say that practice of tolerance and practice of forgiveness are signs of weakness. Totally wrong. Hundred percent wrong. Thousand percent wrong. Forgiveness is a sign of strength. Isn’t it?”... “Absolutely, yes.” (page 235)

Gratitude:

So many have helped me in times I have least expected it. I am so grateful, but often find it difficult to put it in words to express to others.

My Word of the Year:

2022 Gentle

2021 Peace 2020 Hope to Persevere

melinda

#sharethejoy

humor:

• Humor comes from the same root as humanity and humility -- humus (earth, soil) - “The lowly and sustaining earth is the source for all three words” (216).
• “...where you were discriminated against, it is very easy to lose your sense of self, and humor seems to do something for people” (218). It’s curious though how people sometimes discriminate with what they believe to be humor. -- “Ultimately, I think it’s about being able you laugh at yourself and being able not to take yourself too seriously. It’s not about the belittling humor that puts others down and yourself up. It’s about bring people onto common ground” (220). “Come stand next to me and let’s laugh at me together, then we can laugh at you together” (221).

acceptance (the opposite of of resignation and defeat):

• “Why be unhappy about something if it can be remedied? And what is the use of being unhappy if it cannot be remedied?” (223).
• “Once we can see life in its wider perspective, once we are able to see our role in its drama with some degree of humility, and once we are able to laugh at ourselves…[we can have] the ability to accept our life in all its pain, imperfection, and beauty” (223).
• “If the goal is noble, your commitment to the goal should not be contingent on your ability to attain it, and in pursuit of our goal we must release our rigid assumptions about how we must achieve it” (227).

forgiveness:

• “Forgiveness does not mean we forget” (233).
• “When we forgive, we take control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberator” (235).

compassion:

• “Compassion is what connects the feelings of empathy to acts of kindness, generosity, and other expressions of altruistic tendencies” (252).
• “...while empathy is simply experiencing another’s emotions, compassion is an empowered state where we want what is best for the other person” (259).

kate

#sharethejoy

Humor: Take time to laugh. I embrace my super awkwardness and laugh at it all the time!

​

Acceptance: Remembering that ‘what has happened has happened.’ I can not change what has already happened but I can control how I react. Stop worrying about it!

​

Forgiveness: This is the area I struggle with--I hold grudges. “Because we are human we hurt and are hurt by one another.”

​

Compassion: “educating our children to have more compassion is the single most important thing we can do to transform the world…” I have heard some heartbreaking comments and lack of empathy over the past few weeks, moreso this year than in my 18 years of teaching.

​

​

jill

#sharethejoy

Acceptance is a pillar of the mind, and it connects us to a pillar of the heart, forgiveness. When we accept the present, we can forgive and release the desire for a different past.

“the acceptance of reality is the only place from which change can begin” (224). In other words, part of living a joyful life is to stay grounded in reality, or to accept the world around oneself.

“Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound to the chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness, that person will be our jailor. When we forgive, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberator.”

​