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SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills

Subgoal 4B: Demonstrate an ability to prevent, manage, and/or resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways

Grade Bands 7-ADULT

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How to use this module…

Please make a copy of this module to add to the other modules in the SEL Series and use it to write reflections.

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Let’s Review the New SEL Definition

CASEL’s (The Collaborative for Social Emotional Learning) New Definition describes SEL as: Social and emotional learning (SEL) is an integral part of education and human development. SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.”

“We’ve updated our definition and framework to pay close attention to how SEL affirms the identities, strengths and experiences of all children, including those who have been marginalized in our education systems.”

CASEL: https://casel.org/what-is-sel/

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A Closer Look at Relationship Skills

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Relationship Skills Include...

Communication

Social engagement

Relationship building

*Teamwork

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Universal Design for Learning (UDL) & SEL

ALL of the SEL skills, strategies, ideas, activities to do with students can be adjusted, adapted, and accommodated so that ALL students can ACCESS and PARTICIPATE in Social- Emotional Learning Goals and Competencies.

Through:

Multiple Means of Engagement

Multiple Means of Representation

Multiple Means of Action and Expression

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SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills

MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: Gr 7-9

Subgoal 4B: Demonstrate an ability to prevent, manage, and/or resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways Definition: Social engagement; Conflict resolution/management

(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)

Benchmark Skills

Strategies

  • I can recognize and acknowledge different perspectives of others to prevent or minimize conflict.
  • I can understand my own responsibility within a conflict (ex: spreading rumors; use of social media and wrong accusations)
  • I can apply conflict resolution skills to de-escalate, defuse, negotiate and resolve differences.
  • I can identify and access positive support when needed in a conflict situation or crisis.
  • Have students write and perform conflict resolution skills
  • Have students research and write a paper on how conflict resolution is portrayed in the media.
  • When students are having discussions, encourage the use of reflective listening strategies such as reassurance and clarifying questions.
  • Have students engage in a role play where conflict resolution strategy is practiced.
  • Ask students to identify at least one person to provide support when dealing with a conflict.
  • Implement a peer mediation program.
  • Conduct class debates over a particular issue that must end in a win-win for the class to be successful.
  • Have students play a game where the rules are unfair in some way. Discuss students’ behaviors and feelings in playing the gsme.

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Browse through this resource form the University of Oregon! It provides a plethora of activities to build conflict resolution skills in middle school aged students.

Activities for the Following Areas include:

  • Building a Safe Environment
  • Understanding Conflict
  • Emotional Awareness and Communication
  • I-Messaging
  • Negotiation and Mediation Skills
  • Positions, Interests, and Needs
  • Paraphrasing and Renaming
  • Role Plays and Mediation Resources

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Conflict and the Role the Media Plays

Resources to teach students about how conflict is portrayed in the media:

To build your own background knowledge before teaching students about this, first browse through and explore these articles, resources,lesson plans, and activities that you can use as teaching tools with students. All of these resources can be modified for this age group and adjusted so that all students can access and participate. Here are some places to start:

The Role of Media in Conflict Transformation - “media can escalate and tame conflicts”

Common Sense

KidsHealth Middle School- Conflict Resolution Grades 6-8

United States Institute of Peace: The Role of Media in Conflict

E- International Relations- The Role of Media in Peace-Building, Conflict Management, and Prevention

From Fairfax County Public Schools- 10 Lessons for Teaching Conflict Resolution Skills

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Teaching Tips for Active and Reflective Listening with 3 Scenario Examples

Check out this article and you may find some useful tips to use with your students! It comes from The Center for Parenting Education has some very good tips that can be used by educators or anyone in any situation. Take a look and read the 3 scenarios that help to demonstrate what active listening looks like and sounds like.

This article even include 5 Different Ways to Actively Listen and 5 Healthy Non-Listening Responses that are appropriate to use at certain times.

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Active/Reflective Listening Skills Lesson Plans and Student Activities

Browse this resource from the Utah Education Network. Included are materials to download, lesson plans, and class activities to do with students to help teach them about Active and Reflective Listening and their importance in helping to minimize conflicts while enhancing communication. You can modify for high school age students and adults you might be teaching/supporting.(Follow COVID Protocols and modify as needed)

Summary: “Students will identify types of communication styles, explain active/effective listening skills, and demonstrate the ability to use active listening skills.” (https://www.uen.org/lessonplan/view/28907 )

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The SLANT Listening Strategy- a great tool for students to model when listening to others

Watch this short video clip from Edutopia. It’s called: SLANT Listening

Sit UP

Lean in

Acknowledge the speaker

Nod

Tracking the speaker

“It models what respectful listening looks like and sounds like.”- Edutopia-

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Peer Mediation in Any Situation and/or Environment

Video from R3SOLUTE

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Watch a Peer Mediation Session in School in Action

View the video example. After, comment on whether this peer mediation session was a success. If so, what is one aspect that you think saw or heard that made this peer mediation a success? If not, what is something you would change?

YES! One thing I noticed that made this peer mediation successful was…

_______________________________________

_______________________________________

NO! I would change______________________

_______________________________________

_______________________________________

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The ASCD article outlines the PeaceMaker Program “teaches students how to mediate disputes and negotiate solutions themselves.” -ASCD

These important foundational steps can support teachers as they work together with their students to set up a peer mediation program:

STEP 1. Negotiation

STEP2: Conflict Mediation

STEP 3: The PeaceMaker Program

These steps are universal and can be modified to make the peer mediation program successful no matter what age/grade students are in.

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What do I do if I need help?

Teaching and empowering students to access help :

Michelle Garcia Winner, author of Social Thinking wrote an article titled: Thoughts on Encouraging Students to Ask for Help.

Within the Social Thinking Framework, this topic is covered in the Initiation category within the ILaugh Model of Social Thinking. This article gives examples of ways to explore asking for help. Some include:

  • Why people ask for help
  • Different types of help people need
  • Recognize when he/she may need help
  • Set up a system for how to ask for help
  • Asking for help vs asking for clarification

For a more in-depth look on these examples, click here.

For additional ideas, check out this Teacher Tip Sheet: Teaching Students How to Ask for Help

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SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills

MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: Gr 10-12

Subgoal 4B: Demonstrate an ability to prevent, manage, and/or resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways Definition: Social engagement; Conflict resolution/management

(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)

Benchmark Skills

Strategies

  • I can utilize appropriate conflict resolution skills to prevent, prepare for, and manage conflict in community, college, and/or career settings.
  • I can develop and utilize mediation skills.
  • Participate in conflict resolution role playing sessions.
  • Identify mediation techniques that work and practice them.

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Preventing Conflict- Teaching Tips to Share with Adults You Work With

How can I prevent conflict from happening?

This article from Management Study Guide shares some insight:

Remember, even before a potential conflict situation arises, the article suggests you think first and ask yourself:

“How will this fight benefit me?” “Is it going to provide me any solution ?”

If it is inevitable and you find yourself in a situation where there will be conflict, the author suggests that you:

Keep your emotions in check

Be a patient listener

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  • Never be rigid on any points, be flexible and find an alternative if possible.
  • Learn to keep a control on your tongue- this means think before you speak.
  • Be clear in how you communicate- miscommunication often leads to conflicts.
  • *** Saying sorry can be very helpful and prevent conflicts and unnecessary tensions.
  • Remember… “Nobody wins in a fight and you gain nothing out of it.”

Think about a time when you have prevented an argument or a conflict from happening. Describe the situation and how you handled it- what strategies did you use? (Describe on the next slide)

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Preventing Conflict- How to Avoid Conflict

Process Worksheet- How did you avoid your own conflict situation?

Describe the Situation: __________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

What strategies did you use to help you diffuse a potential argument or conflict situation? ____________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

What was the outcome? Did you reach an understanding? _____________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

Describe your emotions going through this? How did you feel after? ____________________________________________________________________________

Is there something you would have done differently? __________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

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How can I prepare for when I have to deal with conflict?

Take a look at these strategies. They can be helpful when working with adults to help prepare them for potential conflict situations they may encounter:

Info for this slide from: The Balance Careers.com:

Overcome Your Fear of Confrontation and Conflict: Take 5 Steps to Successful Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

  • Prepare Yourself to Confront the Real Issue

These easy tips can also be adapted for work, college situations, or any real life situation conflict situation that a person wants to prepare for.. So you can avoid this...

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How do you respond to conflict?

Check out this Conflict Resolution Help Guide:

Scan to the section on How do you respond to conflict? Answer the question the author poses: “Do you fear conflict or avoid it at all costs?”

Read on to gain new knowledge about unhealthy and healthy responses to conflict.

One of the main take-away Be in touch with your emotions.

Successfully resolving conflicts depends upon your ability to…

Continue reading the article to find out more!

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Anyone can act as a Mediator: What skills do you need?

Skills You Need offers some tips on how to sharpen your skills at being an effective mediator.

Meditation is a very important skill to have and can be used in any situation and in any environment- work, school, community

Read the article and focus on the section: Skills Mediators Need to gain more knowledge about what it takes to be an effective mediator both in your daily life, wherever you are!

What is a new learning that you now have that you didn’t have before about mediating?

____________________________________________________________________________

Once you have the knowledge and skills needed, practice your skills in role playing situations to see how effective your mediation skills are- ask for feedback. Next, try your skills in a real situation! The more you practice, the better you will get!

Source for this slide: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/mediation-skills.html

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Reflection

You have finished Subgoal 4B! Take a moment to revisit the slides and respond to this statement:

“I thought I knew about __________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

but now I know _________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

Up Next… Subgoal 4C: Develop and Maintain Positive Relationships