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Skill: Expressing Your Feelings

We All Need a Pressure Release

Today, we'll talk about why it's important to share our thoughts and emotions with people in our lives and about healthy ways to do so.

Grades: 6-8

Benchmark(s): 6-8.SM.1.2

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Adam Driver shared that “putting words to feelings” as an actor helped with the anxiety and anger he and his fellow Marines had dealt with. On a scale from 1 to 10, how surprised were you to hear this? Why?

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WHY EXPRESSING YOURSELF APPROPRIATELY MATTERS:

✅ You are more likely to be understood and to receive help if you need it.

✅ It helps you to build strong, trusting relationships.

✅ It may help you feel better to put your feelings into words.

✅ You develop a better understanding of and greater control over your emotions.

✅ Expressing your feelings in a healthy, safe way shows maturity.

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A relative that Lily’s close to passes away. When she gets on the school bus the next day, she doesn't act like herself. She’s kind of quiet and she looks depressed. On her way off the bus, the bus driver asks Lily, "Hey, what's going on?" Lily talks to the bus driver most days and she likes him.

How should Lily handle this situation? What’s important to consider?

What wisdom would you share with an elementary student about why and how to express their emotions?

Picture this!

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  • Identify your feelings by monitoring how your body feels and what you're thinking about.
  • Decide how, when, where, and to whom the feeling could be appropriately expressed.
  • Label your feelings. Say to the person, "I feel ___."
  • Describe your feelings using words that will not offend others.

What about this sounds right? 👍

What details might be missing? 🤔

ROADMAP

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TIP #1:

Anger usually hides other emotions underneath it. When we calm down, it's easier to see those emotions (e.g., disappointment, worry) and they're usually more helpful to us.

If we act while we're feeling enraged — maybe by shouting at our friend or sending an angry text message — we can damage relationships or get in trouble.

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On average, what emotions do you think people would be most likely to “hold in” because they struggle to express them? Why?

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TIP #2:

If you feel upset, "I-statements" are the best way to express it.

If you say something like, "You make me feel so angry!" it makes people feel defensive. You can hurt your relationship and end up in an argument instead of working through it.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you agree? Why?

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Matt earns a failing grade on an English report. When he tells his friend Charlie, Charlie thinks it's funny because Matt usually earns As and Bs. Charlie starts telling Matt’s other friends and teasing him about it. Matt tries to be cool about it, but he feels frustrated and embarrassed.

Skip to end

Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?

Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?

Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?

Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…

Choose one

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Sarah’s friend keeps interrupting her when she’s trying to tell a story. Sarah feels irritated with him.

Skip to end

Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?

Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?

Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?

Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…

Choose one

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When Anne gets home from school, her dad tells her that Anne’s mom lost her job. Anne feels sad for her mom, and she’s also worried about how this will affect their family. Anne’s dad is trying to be positive, but she can tell that he's worried and he just looks tired.

Skip to end

Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?

Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?

Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?

Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…

Choose one

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When Paul is watching the news with his family, he sees a story that makes him feel scared and nervous about what could happen.

Skip to end

Play it out: How would the tips and suggestions that we’ve discussed look in this situation?

Words of wisdom: What advice would help someone handle this situation well?

Heads up: What pitfalls should someone try to avoid in a situation like this? How?

Lessons learned: I’ve been through a similar situation and here’s what I learned from it…

Choose one

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Nice work! To recap, we learned more about: