WRITING YOUR PERSONAL STATEMENT

September 2024

• Your personal statement should give concrete evidence of your abilities, contributions, and potential at the university and beyond.

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• Carefully read the prompt and instructions to frame the scope and tone of your statement.

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• Present your authentic self, while using your professional writing skills.

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• Ultimately, your job is to convince the reader that you are prepared and qualified for admission.

IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS

YOUR STORY

The hardest part of writing a personal statement is deciding how to tell your story.

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Here are some guiding prompts to bring those stories out:

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• What factors or experiences have influenced your personal growth?
• What or who has made you who you are today?
• How have your experiences shaped the path you want to go down?

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STRONG/WEAK WRITING SAMPLES

• Ex. #1 (Strong) The ocean is as fundamental to our lives as any other ecological habitat, so why don’t we have systems in place to treat it that way? Growing up in Monterey, California I was first introduced to marine biology through my advanced placement biology class. While in community college I helped form a student-led monthly beach clean-up team. This rewarding experience led me to pursue an undergraduate degree in Biology with an emphasis in ocean preservation. My passion for developing innovative and culturally informed approaches to marine preservation on a global scale have led me to pursue a doctorate in the field of marine biology. My desired research focus will explore solutions to the impacts of micro plastics in our ocean.

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• Ex. #2 (Weak) Yea sure, the ocean is in a devastated condition, but what are we going to do about it? Well, with my degree in bio I plan to get a PhD in marine biology to help figure out how to address micro plastics in our ocean. I know so much already, and I just know that with a PhD I will be able to contribute on a greater scale. I know the PhD is a lot of work, but I am pretty sure I will be able to complete the program and have a great time doing so. I have always wanted to live in Santa Barbara, and that is definitely a part of my decision to apply to your program.

Source: Magoosh.com

Introduction Paragraphs

STRONG/WEAK WRITING SAMPLES

• Ex. #1 (Strong) As a first generation college student, and an English language learner, my journey to receive my bachelors of science in marine biology has been tough. Along the way I have developed leadership skills, research and lab experience, as well as a refined passion for the work that marine biologists are able to do when informed by the local community members. I desire to continue my studies with an emphasis on ocean preservation research through the innovative and unique PhD program offered at UC Santa Barbara. It would be an honor to work with Dr. Mendoza and Dr. Pacho, two professors whose work aligns with my research interests and who have been welcoming and encouraging through our email correspondence. While my research goals are ambitious, I am confident that your program offers the resources and mentorship required for a unified effort to resolve the impact that microplastics have on not only human life, but all marine animals and ecosystems.

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• Ex. #2 (Weak) I think it’s a miracle that I even completed my B.S degree! That’s how I know that with the funding and laid back atmosphere at UC Santa Barbara I can definitely complete the PhD. I’m not so interested in the teaching part, or the amount of course work I would be required to take, but I just know that once I get out there and get into the water, it will all be worth it. My research experience is competitive and top-notch, I am a great person to work with and easily make friends. I am hopeful to hear back and excited for the next steps! Thanks for reading this far.

Source: Magoosh.com

Conclusion Paragraphs

TIPS

DO...

• Answer the prompts fully (reach the word limit and revise if necessary)
• Start early, get feedback from professors and friends, and make changes
• Use concrete examples and “I” statements
• Write as if your readers are both experts and beginners in your field
• Read the organization information and fine tune your statement to their goals

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• Use grammatically correct English as if you were writing a formal letter
• Compose the essay in a word processing program (like Google Docs) to use word count and spell check.

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• Be authentic and honest

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THINGS TO AVOID

DON’T…

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• Use clichés, quotes, or jokes
• Abbreviate words or organization names
• Assume the reader knows anything about your experiences
• Write about others more than yourself (if someone inspired you, that is great, but make the statement about you)
• Let formality get in the way of being authentic
• Contradict yourself or your letters of recommendation
• Be dishonest or exaggerate

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THANK YOU