1 of 37

Technical and Research Writing

Andre Daniel Paredes

Summer Research Program

Created: July 13, 2021

Credit: Quaker Valley School

Credit: Martin David

2 of 37

Questions from the Community

I would like more information on writing the background for a paper. The presentation mentioned only including what is relevant, but I find this challenging especially since I do not want it to seem that I did not thoroughly review the topic prior to writing the background. I am hoping this can be expanded on in detail a bit more.

My questions would revolve around asking how we should interpret feedback from PI's when you submit a writing and the entire writing comes back changed/ red all over. I've personally experienced this and my peers have too. Do PI's do this because they just care for a certain style of writing or is there a different reason?

3 of 37

Agenda

Peer-review Publications
Technical Writing
Proposal Writing

4 of 37

I. Peer-review Publications

5 of 37

Defects In Peer Review (Smith JRSocMed 2006)

Slow and expensive
Inconsistent
Bias
Abuse of Peer Review

6 of 37

Scientific reasoning implements rigor because it is a human endeavor

We are all subjective to cognitive biases; we are largely unaware of our biases
Science Implements systematic methods to safeguard from biases
Scientific thinking doesn’t come naturally to humans; critical thinking is learned and developed
Scientific thinkers can fall prey to pseudoscience
Pseudoscience and science lie on a spectrum
Pseudoscience is characterized by a set of fallible, but useful, warning signs such as absence of self-correction, overuse of ad hoc maneuvers.
Pseudoscience claims differ from erroneous claims in that they are deceptive
Pseudoscientific thinking misapply heuristics
Skeptics differ from cynicism; guard from dismissing implausible claims out of disconfirmation bias.

7 of 37

Types of Academic Publications

Edited Book
Original Research Journal Article
Clinical Trials
Literature Review Article
Systematic Review
Book Chapters
Conference Proceedings
Protocols
Methods Paper
Thesis and dissertations
Editorials
Opinions

Original Research – primary liter.
Literature Review Article
Systematic Review
Protocol and Method Papers

Scientific Articles

8 of 37

How to get started: Young investigators start with Literature Reviews�

gain an impression about the important aspects of the niche (Significance and general impact)
identify the relationship between concepts
identify ideas for further consideration (focused niche impact)
Identify and understand important jargon; build reading, writing, and critiquing style.

By reading many different studies, you will begin to:

9 of 37

How to get started: Young investigators start with reviewing literature�

gain an impression about the important aspects of the niche (Significance and general impact)
Identify outcome measures used to form arguments
identify the methods and models (hence limitations) used get outcome measures
identify the relationship between concepts
identify ideas for further consideration (focused niche impact)
see how you can prevent yourself from repeating any errors that have been identified in previous work;
Identify and understand important jargon; build reading, writing, and critiquing style.

By reading many different studies, you will begin to:

10 of 37

To publish original research

1. Do not get hung up on the idea of originality; just make it new

2. Follow the Pipeline of Publishing

Systematic Review

Method or Protocol Paper

Original Paper(s)

Literature Review

Organize around a significant new idea that is

Related to what has come before it

e.g. (1) Approach old evidence in a new way

e.g. (2) Pair old evidence with old approaches

in a new way

11 of 37

Peer-review Journals vary in quality

The impact factor (IF) is a measure of the frequency with which the average article in a journal has been cited in a particular year

Peer Review Journal Submission

https://www.nature.com/srep/author-instructions/submission-guidelines

Nature Mater 12, 89 (2013)

IF is a metric for quality of journal

12 of 37

II. Technical Writing

To be excellent Writing, Research and Presenting at the highest scientific level is to excel in cogency

Cogency Is the quality of being

1. Logical

2. Clear

3. Convincing

13 of 37

Exercise

Edit this paragraph:

Considerable attention has been paid to napping as an effective countermeasure for arousal decline and for improving cognitive performances. The previous literature has demonstrated that naps less than 30 min undermine the deleterious impacts of sleep deprivation that affects arousal and performances (1-3). It has also been reported that naps enhance arousal levels even when the quality and quantity of the previous nocturnal sleep are adequate (4-5). It would be of interest to mention that the differences in results found in previous researches depend on the diversity of factors that determine the benefit acquired when taking short naps. Indeed, factors, like the quality of prior nocturnal sleep, sleep architecture, and temporal placements of nap during the day, may determine the extent of benefits gained through short naps (6).

14 of 37

Opening Exercise – two sentences.

Edit this paragraph:

Naps less than 30 min have been shown to countermeasure arousal decline and improve cognitive performances (1-3), even when the quality and quantity of the previous nocturnal sleep are adequate (4-5). Factors like quality of prior nocturnal sleep, sleep architecture, and temporal placements of nap during the day, may determine the extent of benefits gained through short naps (6).

15 of 37

Principles of Effective Writing

1. Write to inform, not to impress just get the idea across & avoid perfect

2. Write clearly and concisely ignore minimum page limit mentality

3. Try not to bore your readers Please?

Perfectionism is not a strength

When you spend a lot of time on something we don’t know, we try desperately to we grasp a hold on it. As a result, we over complicate it, we feel it needs bigger and brighter words. Stay Simple

16 of 37

Avoid Generalities
Use Precise Language
Balance Detail
Eliminate Complex mumbo jumbo
Eliminate Ambiguity
Eliminate Pretentious Diction
Use Active Voice
Eliminate Writing Zeroes
Simple but variation in Rhythm

Well Communicated Papers implement cogency

Hard to read
Boring
Needles complexity
Gratuitous jargon

17 of 37

Avoid Needless Complexity: One measure for the complexity of the writing is the Gunning Fog Index

In the index, the complexity

of the writing depends on

(1) the lengths of sentences

(2) the lengths of words

Desired index values for

scientific writing are 10-12:

New York Times (11)

Scientific American (12)

F_i = 0.4 ((N_w/ N_s )+ P_lw )

N_w = number of words in a typical paragraph

N_s = number of sentences in the paragraph

P_lw = percentage of long words in the paragraph

Avoid Needless Complexity

This slide presents one common way to measure of writing: the Gunning Fog Index, which is named after Robert Gunning. Many word processors calculate this index. One quick way to perform the calculation is to take a typical paragraph in a document and do the following:

(1) count the number of words;

(2) count the number of sentences;

(3) calculate the percentage of long words (3 syllables or more).

Exceptions to (3) include first words of sentences, proper names, compound words such as “bookkeeper,” and words that have become three syllables because of a verb ending (“attempted,” for example). Then use the equation on the slide.

In class, I like to have the students calculate the fog index for the Bohr paragraph (page 89), which comes out to be 25 or so, and the Einstein paragraph on page 116, which comes out to be about 12. A good score would be between 9 and 13.

Note that students can get carried away with this index. Just because writing falls within the range does not mean it succeeds. There are other goals, such as precision, that have to be addressed. However, it is a good argument against a piece of writing that is needlessly complex.

18 of 37

Avoid Needless Complexity: Complex wording buries ideas�

R.I.P.

This study will consider why current solar energy

systems, such as Solar One, have not reached the

commercial stage and will find out what steps

we can take to make these systems commercial.

The goal of this study is to develop a commerciali-

zation strategy for solar energy systems by analyzing

factors impeding early commercial projects (i.e.,

SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential actions

that can facilitate the viability of the projects.

This slide presents an interesting example about how needlessly complex word choices can bury the intended message. The original draft (on the bottom) contains several needlessly complex words: “commercialization,” “i.e.,” “SOLAR ONE,” “facilitate,” and “viability.” In showing this example, I cover up the revision and ask the students which words or terms in the original they would challenge on the grounds of needless complexity. They usually challenge most of the ones in the list above. Then I show them the revision and ask them in a fifty page proposal from which this example came which style of writing would they prefer to read. They choose the clearer style. (Pages 84-85)

Sometimes someone will balk at the notion of replacing “i.e.” or “facilitate.” By itself, neither is any big deal, but when the writer consistently chooses such terms, the writing thickens to the point that the intended message becomes hidden.

Sometimes students will challenge the word “impeding,” which is not a particularly long word. They probably do so because it is a word they are unaccustomed to using. An interesting question arises them whether old, but short, words such as “impede,” “specious,” and “rife” are needlessly complex. Winston Churchill would say, “No.” And I would agree.

19 of 37

Avoid needless complexity: (A) Use direct and simple sentences (B) Stacking adjectives before nouns swallows the ideas

Solar One is a solar-powered pilot

plant located near Barstow, California. Solar One

produces 10 megawatts of electricity by capturing

solar energy in a central receiver design.

Solar One is a 10 megawatt solar

thermal electric central receiver

Barstow power pilot plant.

20 of 37

about

cause; bring about

carry out

individual

can operate

use

Avoid Gratuitous Jargon: Pretentious diction often causes problems with tone (nominalization)

approximately

facilitate

implement

individualized

operationability

utilization

This slide presents some simple substitutions for pretentious words that are often used in scientific writing (note that a word such as “approximately” is fine in some situations (“approximately 2.53 cm”), but pretentious in others (“approximately eight people”).

Some students balk at the idea of using simpler wording, even when precision allows. Perhaps they don’t understand the effect that needlessly complex words have on the ability of the audience to understand the message. As was stated a few slides ago, these choices are not a problem individually, but become a problem when the writer continues to choose them in place of simpler words that have the same precision. Note that the point is not to get students to agree on the same set of pretentious words, but to instill in students the desire to seek words that are simpler. Winston Churchill’s quotation at the beginning of Chapter 6 applies well here. (Pages 97-99)

Nominalizations are nouns that are created from adjectives (words that describe nouns) or verbs (action words)

21 of 37

Use Precise Words: An ambiguity is a group of words that can have more than one meaning

We examined neat methanol and ethanol and methanol and ethanol with 10% water.

We examined four fuels: neat methanol, neat ethanol, methanol with 10% water, and ethanol with 10% water.

This slide shows the parallel between a slide ambiguity in a drawing and a written ambiguity in words. An ambiguity is group of words that has more than one meaning. Just as one sees two significantly different women in the picture on the right (one old, her chin on her chest, and one young, her head turned away), so too does a reader see two often significantly different meanings in a written ambiguity.

I like to cover up the revision on the bottom and ask the students how many fuels that the chemist studied. This sentence came from the introduction of a journal paper, and it wasn’t until a couple pages later that the audience could discern whether the chemist had consider four, three, two or perhaps one fuel. Note that in court a lawyer could have made a case for any of the four interpretations and would win because he or she would need to do is to show that a reasonable person had assumed that many. (Pages 90-96)

22 of 37

Use Precise Words: Use Simple Words

Our results reflect deviations from thermal equilibrium during desorption	Our results deviate form thermal equilibrium during desorption.
There is a large body of experimental evidence that clearly shows that members of the genus Crotalus congregate simultaneously in cases of prolonged decreased temperature conditions in the later part of the year.	Rattlesnakes come together when it gets cold in the fall

23 of 37

Use Precise words (Avoid Writing Zeros) - Omit unnecessary Words and phrases

High pH values have been observed to occur in areas that have been determined to have few pine trees

High pH values occur in areas with few pine trees.

The sample size was not quite sufficiently large enough

The sample size was not large enough

24 of 37

Use Precise Words: The following Words and phrases add nothing to text. Do not use them.

Actually, basically, essentially, fairly, much, really, practically, quite, rather several, very, virtually

A considerable number 🡪 many

An adequate amount of 🡪 enough

No later than 🡪 by

In order to 🡪 to

…

25 of 37

Use Precise Words: Establish Importance �

Although vitamins B6 seems to reduce the risk of macular degeneration, it may have some side effects
Vitamin B6 reduces the risk of macular degeneration, but it may have some side effects

Although taking vitamin B6 has some side effects, vitamin B6 reduces macular degeneration

Location of words within a sentence is important for its interpretation : Competition for Emphasis

26 of 37

Generalities that are not anchored �with specifics are soon forgotten

After recognizing

some problems with

the solar mirrors, we

took subsequent corrective measures.

Trash

After finding that high

winds (and not hail) had

cracked the ten solar mirrors, we began stowing all mirrors in a horizontal position during thunderstorms.

27 of 37

Peer Revisions: for style and Composition using the writing principles we have covered:�

Are Paragraphs cohesive?
Are Key Terms consistent?
Are key terms linked?
Are transitions used and do they make sense?
Is the action in the verbs?
Did you vary sentence length and use one idea per sentence?
Are comparisons written correctly?
Have noun clusters been avoided?

Has word location been considered ( Old, short information at the beginning of the sentence? New, long information at the end of the sentence?)
Have grammar and technical style been considered (Person, voice, tense, pronouns, prepositions, articles)
Are words and phrases precise
Are non-technical words and phrases simple?
Have unnecessary terms (redundancies, jargon) been reduced?
Have spelling and punctuation been checked?

28 of 37

III. Proposal Writing�

29 of 37

Being metacognitive is to have integrity. Integri is vitally important to scientific discovery

The real scientific method

30 of 37

Writing with impact requires purpose

Impact: The ability to affect a someone or something

Three precepts for writing with impact

Write short – get most out of limited resource – attention
Write clear – get most out of another limited resource – understanding
Write right - shortest clearest message information that are boring will fall on deaf

Treat words like how your mother teaches you to treat food in the back of fridge- when in doubt throw it out

31 of 37

Signal the readers to make important statements

Significance

May improve current or prevent future wide-ranging problem
Provides possibility for a fruitful exploration with known techniques
May decrease costs
May improve quality of life
May bridge theoretical and practical knowledge
May provide a sustainable solution to a problem
Fills a gap in knowledge
Important to a wide problem.

Innovation

The proposed research employs a novel method that we developed…
These aims are original in that
Experiments outlined in this application will employ a novel approach to generate….
In this study, we will employ innovative methods to…
Our study is innovative because…
X represents a novel approach that will..
My work provides a novel contribution to science by

32 of 37

Signal the readers to make important statements

Significance

May improve current or prevent future wide-ranging problem
Provides possibility for a fruitful exploration with known techniques
May decrease costs
May improve quality of life
May bridge theoretical and practical knowledge
May provide a sustainable solution to a problem
Fills a gap in knowledge
Important to a wide problem.

Innovation

The proposed research employs a novel method that we developed…
These aims are original in that
Experiments outlined in this application will employ a novel approach to generate….
In this study, we will employ innovative methods to…
Our study is innovative because…
X represents a novel approach that will..
My work provides a novel contribution to science by

33 of 37

Follow a “funnel” structure

1. Background

Start with broad/general background to give the reader enough information to understand the topic
Do not review the topic
Only include things that pertain to your topic

2.Unknown/Problem

Current unknowns and problems in our area of study
Be objective and do not use negative phrases on others work
Never blame others for results not matching yours

3. Question of Study

Central point of entire project
Make sure to be precise with wording of the sentence
Refer back to this as you address other subsections (there needs to be narrative/theme)

34 of 37

Follow a “funnel” structure

4. Approach

Three sentences long per direction, and needs to be easy to read
Provide a brief description of the method

5. Results

Give the reader an idea of what you expect (cite current literature)

6. Significance

Importance and implications of findings
Provides perspective on topic

Timeliness
Practical solution to a problem
Important to a wide population
Fills a gap in knowledge
Provides a key apparatus for future observation or analysis of data
May improve current or prevent future wide-ranging problem
Provides possibility for a fruitful exploration with known techniques
May decrease costs, improve quality of life
Bridge theoretical and practical knowledge
Sustainable solution to a problem

Describe the significance of the problem by relating the problem to one ore more of the criteria by placing it in the proper context

35 of 37

Snowball Principle &�How to have it all

Get the fundamentals right FIRST and make them non-negotiable
Have Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals (BHAGs), but be patient with them
Replace all-or-nothing sprints with a marathon mentality

Credit: Qualaroo.com

Mod 2

36 of 37

“Compound interest is the eight wonder of the world. He who understands it, Earns IT … He who doesn’t… PAYS IT.” [Einstein]

Health

Wealth

Relationships

Work

Learning & Growth

Purpose

Begin to look success holistically

Begin to measure success