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Reminder: Window of tolerance and SUD Нагадування: вікно толерантності та СОШД

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Strategies for Listening to Trauma

Стратегії вислуховування людей, які пережили травму

last week—we talked about children.

(pause)�

How stress affects them—and how their nervous systems respond—

(pause)

and how much they rely on the adults around them.

(pause)

� Today—we’re shifting the focus to you.

(pause)�

Many of you are supporting children…families…and communities—

in very difficult situations.

(pause)

You are listening to hard stories.

(pause)

You are holding a lot of emotion.

(pause)

I want to share something from my own experience.

(pause)

� In my work with veterans—

(pause)

the hardest conversations for me were with those who had been in MY war.

(pause)

� The burden they carried—felt heavier on my heart than any other burden.

(pause)

� And I realized—I could not do that work alone.

(pause)

� My program had weekly team meetings. Supervision. and consultation

(pause)

These were spaces where we could talk about what we were carrying.

(pause)

Even with that—it was still heavy.

(pause)�

Self-care did not make the pain go away.

(pause)�

But it made it bearable. Listening to trauma is hard.

(pause)

Having a hard time with it is not a failure.

(pause)

� It is a normal response—to doing meaningful work in difficult conditions.

(pause)

� we’re going to focus on How to support yourself—

(pause)

in a way that is realistic and usable.

(pause)

And one way to do that—is not alone.

(pause)

� Consider creating space with other professionals—

(pause)

� to talk about your work…to share what is hard…and to learn from each other.

(pause)

This kind of work is easier to carry together.

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Listening to trauma hurts

Згадувати про травму боляче

Repeated exposure to others’ trauma affects the nervous system
Stress narrows our window for regulation
Empathy without boundaries can become overwhelming
Preparation, support, and self-awareness are protective

Постійний контакт із травматичними переживаннями інших людей впливає на нервову систему
Стрес звужує наші можливості саморегуляції
Емпатія без меж може стати надто обтяжливою
Підготовка, підтримка та самоусвідомлення є захисними факторами

When you are working in high-stress environments,

your nervous system is activated over and over again.

(pause)

Even when the experience is not happening directly to you—

your body is still responding to what you are hearing and holding.

(pause)

Over time, You may notice feeling more on edge…more tired…or having a harder time shifting out of “helper” mode.

(pause)

This is not a weakness.

(pause)

It is your nervous system doing exactly what it is designed to do.

(pause)

� But when this happens repeatedly, without enough time or support to reset, it becomes harder to access regulation.

(pause)

� This is difficult because regulation is what allows you to think clearly,

connect with others, and respond effectively.

(pause)

Empathy is important— but without boundaries and support,

it can become overwhelming.

(pause)

The good news is—there are things that help.

(pause)

� Preparation…support…and self-awareness can protect you and make the helping process more sustainable.

(pause)

Today we will focus on ways to keep functioning well while doing this work .

While this is happening in your body….it is also happening across systems

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Across Levels�Regulate – Connect – Support

На всіх рівнях. Регулювання. Взаємодія. Підтримка

Children of Deployed Model

Global Context

Community

Family

School

Job

Veteran

Military

You

Глобальний контекст

Спільнота

Сім’я

Школа

Робота

Ветеран

Військовий

Ти

I want to come back to one idea from last week.� (pause)

Children are shaped by what is happening around them.� (pause)

And the people around them—are part of that environment.� (pause)

That includes you.� (pause)

Across all levels…� (pause)� we talked about a simple way to respond:� (pause)

Regulate…� (pause)� Connect…� (pause)� Support.� (pause)

And now—you are at the center of this system.� (pause)

Because in order to offer regulation…� (pause)� you need access to it yourself.� (pause)

And you need small tools—� (pause)� that work across environments:� (pause)

For you…� (pause)� your work, home, community...maybe other environments.� (pause)

as we build a plan—� (pause)� we’re going to think about it might apply across these systems.

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Plan, Practice, Act План, Практика, Дія

I want to come back to one idea from last week.� (pause)

Children are shaped by what is happening around them.� (pause)

And the people around them—are part of that environment.� (pause)

That includes you.� (pause)

Across all levels…� (pause)� we talked about a simple way to respond:� (pause)

Regulate…� (pause)� Connect…� (pause)� Support.� (pause)

And now—you are at the center of this system.� (pause)

Because in order to offer regulation…� (pause)� you need access to it yourself.� (pause)

And you need small tools—� (pause)� that work across environments:� (pause)

For you…� (pause)� your work, home, community...maybe other environments.� (pause)

as we build a plan—� (pause)� we’re going to think about it might apply across these systems.

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Make a Plan-Support at all levels

Складіть план — підтримка на всіх рівнях

Inventory

What do you already have that works?
What do you want to try that might?

Take Inventory

Increased joy and satisfaction
Plan for transitions out of “the helper” role

Make a Plan

Що у вас вже є, що добре працює?
Що ви хочете спробувати, що може виявитися корисним?

Зробіть інвентаризацію

Більше радості та задоволення
Сплануйте вихід із ролі «допомагаючого»

Складіть план

So as we start building a plan—

(pause)

we begin with an inventory of what we already have.

(pause)

First consider what's already working for you?

(pause)

Next what might be worth trying?

(pause)

Because the goal here—

(pause)

is not to feel good all the time.

(pause)

That’s not realistic.

(pause)

The goal is to focus on the process.

(pause)

Some strategies will help you feel better.

(pause)

Some will feel neutral—

(pause)

but still help you stay steady.

(pause)

Some will simply keep things

from getting worse.

(pause)

And sometimes—

(pause)

they won’t work at all.

(pause)

which is to be expected

(pause)

Each time you try something it gives you information—

(pause)

about what to adjust

or what to try next.

(pause)

So once you’ve taken inventory—

(pause)

then make a realistic plan.

(pause)

that includes small ways to increase moments of satisfaction…

(pause)

ways to transition out of the helper role at the end of the day.

(Pause)

and ways to connect with others

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Individual Strategies

Індивідуальні стратегії

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA

Engage in self-care and self-compassion
Moments of joy
Mindful moments
Connection

Examples:

Дбайте про себе та проявляйте до себе співчуття
Моменти радості
Моменти усвідомленості
Зв’язок

Приклади:

So now let’s make this more concrete.

(pause)

Here are some examples you can start with…on your own.

(pause)

Not all of them will work for everyone. You may already be using some of them

(pause)

you don’t need to do all of them. You just need to find a few that work for you

(pause)

engage in self-compassion--treat yourself with respect when have a hard time

(pause)

Moments of joy

(pause)

These don’t have to be big.

(pause)

Small moments—

(pause)

a sunrise , a laugh, stepping outside—

(pause)

those matter more than we think.

(pause)

you could try Mindful moments –being present in the moment

(pause)

Just noticing—

(pause)

your breath…

(pause)

your body…

(pause)

what’s happening right now.

(pause)

Even a few seconds can help your nervous system reset. Just as we did when we started this discussion

(pause)

Finally, consider how you might connect with others

(pause)

This is one of the most important.

(pause)

Talking to someone… who understands… sitting with them quietly

(pause)

so you are not carrying it alone.

(pause)

Something important to remembers is that (we’re not trying to eliminate stress.

(pause)

We’re building small ways to return to regulation—

(pause)

over and over again.

(pause)

And these are just some options to start with or to add to what you are already doing.

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Joyful moments

Радісні моменти

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC

What makes you smile?
What did you love doing before?
Can you try that again?
Are there any people you can involve?

How to make it work:

Що викликає у тебе посмішку?
Чим ти раніше любив займатися?
Чи можеш ти спробувати це знову?
Чи є люди, яких ти міг би залучити до цього?

Як це зробити:

It helps to have something—

(pause)

even something small—

(pause)

that helps you feel a little better.

(pause)

It’s doesn’t have to be perfect.

(pause)

Or even work all the time.

(pause)

Just small moments that feel a little lighter…or a little easier

(pause)

Because the more of those moments you have—

(pause)

the more support your nervous system has

to return to regulation.

(pause)

And even a few are better than none.

(pause)

Take a moment to think—

(pause)

What makes you smile?

(pause)

Or feel calm?

(pause)

If that’s hard to answer—

(pause)

What used to help?

(pause)

What worked before?

(pause)

And what would it be like to try that again?

(pause)

You can share in the chat if you’d like.

(pause)

These are things you can plan to use in hard times.

(pause)

You can practice them if they are something new.

(pause)

And then use them intentionally (pause)

They are just— small moments… repeated over time.

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Self Compassion

Самоспівчуття

Exercise from: Self-compassion.org (Neff, Germer 2016)

Google Images

Hold your hand
Hug yourself
Hand over your heart

How to practice:

Візьми себе за руку
Обійми себе
Поклади руку на серце

Як тренуватися:

Sometimes when something difficult comes up—

(pause)

we try to push through it.

(pause)

Or we tell ourselves—

“I should be handling this better.”

(pause)

What if you gave youself some compassion in that moments instead of judging

(pause)

One way to do that is through physical support.

(pause)

Something as small as—

(pause)

holding your own hand…

(pause)

Hugging yourself

(pause)

or placing a hand over your heart.

(pause)

If you’re comfortable—

(pause)

you can try this with me.

(pause)

Take a slow breath in…

(pause)

and out.

(pause)

Maybe try holding your own hand.

(Pause)

Place your hand together and tell yourself

(pause)

I’m holding my own hand.

(pause)

I am not alone.

(pause)

For some people, this feels natural.

(pause)

For others, it might feel a little uncomfortable—

and that’s okay.

(pause)

You can find what works for you.

(pause)

This is something you can do—

(pause)

even while you are listening to something difficult.

(pause)

Without leaving the person in front of you

It doesn’t take you out of the moment—

(pause)

it may help you stay in it without getting lost in the moment.

(pause)

Self Compassion offers small ways to help yourself to keep taking steps forward.

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Support at work

Підтримка на роботі

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC

Supervisors
Peers
Team

Types of Support:

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA

Керівники
Колеги (рівні)
Команда

Види підтримки:

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Supervision

Супервізія

Individual
Group
Peer
In-person or Virtual

Types of Supervision

Індивідуально
У групі
З колагми (рівними)
Очно або онлайн

Типи супервізії:

Some support happens naturally.

(pause)

But other support needs to be intentional.

(pause)

Structured.

(pause)

Protected.

(pause)

And that’s what supervision is.

(pause)

It’s a space where you can bring things that are difficult.

(pause)

Because your reaction is part of the work

(pause)

What stayed with you. What feels heavy.

(pause)

people don’t always use supervision this way.

(pause)

They focus only on doing things “right”

(pause)

But this is also a space to process the emotional impact of the work.

(pause)

And studies have shown that supervision can help prevent burnout

(pause)

There are many ways to access supervision

(pause)

It can be individual… group… peer-based… in person or virtual.

(pause)

So as you think about your plan—

(pause)

Where is that space for you?

(pause)

And if it doesn’t exist yet—

(pause)

how might you begin to create it?

(pause)

And if you are the supervisor, how can you help create it for your team?

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Connection Outside “the Helper” role

Зв'язок поза роллю «помічника»

Friends and Family
Community
Activities or spaces where you are not ”the helper:

Where to Connect:

Друзі та родина
Спільнота
Заходи чи місця, де ви не виступаєте в ролі «допомагаючого»:

Де підключитися:

Another important piece of this—

(pause)

is having connection outside of your role as a helper.

(pause)

When you are always in the role of supporting others—

(pause)

it’s easy to forget what it feels like to just be a person.

(pause)

So this might be friends… family… your community…

(pause)

Or even spaces where no one expects anything from you.

(pause)

Where you are not the one helping.

(pause)

For me—

(pause)

one of the things I enjoy

is watching birds.

(pause)

It doesn’t matter what kind of bird—

(pause)

I can take a moment and just watch.

(pause)

And for that moment— Nothing else needs my attention

It doesn’t have to be a long moment or even far away, birds are everywhere.

(pause)

Think about this for yourself—

(pause)

Where are the places you can go…

(pause)

where you are not “the helper”?

(pause)

And how might you build one of those moments into your day?

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Your Support System

Ваша система підтримки

What can you do on your own?
What exists at work?
How can you connect outside work?

Connections:

Що ви можете зробити самостійно?
Що є на роботі?
Як ви можете налагодити зв’язки поза роботою?

Зв'язки::

We’ve talked about a lot of different strategies.� (pause)� Now I want to bring it together in a simple way.� (pause)� Your support system is not just one thing.� (pause)� It includes—what you can do on your own…� (pause)� how you connect with others…� (pause)� and the spaces that support you.� (pause)� So take a moment and think about this—� (pause)� Where are you already connected?� (pause)� And where might you want a little more support?� (pause)� If you’d like—you can share one idea in the chat.� (pause)� The goal is not to fix it, but to stay connected—� (pause)� to yourself…� (pause)� and to others…� (pause)� even when things are difficult.� (pause)� Sometimes a strategy helps.� (pause)� Sometimes it feels neutral.� (pause)� Sometimes it just keeps thingsfrom getting worse.� (pause)� And sometimes—� (pause)� your strategy may not work at all.� (pause)� That doesn’t mean you failed.� (pause)� It just means you try something different—� (pause)� or you reach for support.� (pause)� Try to choose one momentary thing and add it each week.

(pause)

If that’s too much spread it out more weeks or a every month

(pause)� take small steps…� (pause)� stay connected…� (pause)� and using support at all levels.

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Practice

Практика

This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC

Choose a time when you are least anxious
Pick a skill from your plan
Rehearse the skills

How:

Виберіть час, коли ви найменше нервуєте
Виберіть одне завдання зі свого плану
Відпрацюйте це завдання

Як:

ЗБЕРІГАЙ

СПОКІЙ

І

ДАВАЙ

ПРАКТИКУВАТИСЯ

Imagine the final minutes of an important game—

the score is tied…

and everything depends on this moment.

(pause)

That is not the time

to try a new move for the first time.

(pause)

You rely on what your body already knows.

(pause)

What you’ve practiced…

again and again.

(pause)

And it’s the same with regulation.

(pause)

If we want it to be there when we need it—

we have to practice it when things are calm.

(pause)

This takes repetition.

(pause)

Not once…

not a few times…

(pause)

but over days or sometimes week.

(pause)

Because your brain and body learn through experience.

(pause)

Each time you practice a skill—

you are making it easier to access the next time.

(pause)

You’re building a pathway—which with practice becomes automatic.

(pause)

So instead of trying everything at once—

(pause)

choose one small thing from your plan…

(pause)

and try it consistently

for a few days or weeks.

(pause)

Not perfectly—

(pause)

just repeatedly.

(pause)

Because repetition—

(pause)

is what turns a strategy

into something you can rely on.

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Співчуття до себе

Зображення з Google

(Нефф [Neff], Гермер [Germer] 2016)

Говори з собою як із другом

Доброта до себе

Страждання – частина людського життя; ви в цьому не одинокі

Спільність людства

Почуття є лише елементом вашого досвіду

Майндфулнес

So this is where self-compassion becomes really important.

(pause)

Because it shapes how you respond to yourself

when things are hard.

(pause)

We cannot eliminate stress—

(pause)

and we cannot always do everything

we planned to do.

(pause)

But we can change

what we say to ourselves

in those moments.

(pause)

And that matters—

(pause)

because it determines

whether our plan helps us…

(pause)

or becomes another source of stress.

(pause)

If we don’t follow through on our plan—

and then we criticize ourselves…

(pause)

we actually undo the benefit

of the strategy.

(pause)

And then we need more energy

to cope with how we feel

about not coping.

(pause)

That’s the spiral.

(pause)

Self-compassion interrupts that.

(pause)

It helps you stay in the process—

(pause)

instead of getting stuck

in judgment.

(pause)

And it connects directly

to what we’ve been talking about:

(pause)

Regulate…

Connect…

Support.

(pause)

Because self-compassion

is how you do that for yourself.

(pause)

---

There are three simple parts to it.

(pause)

Self-kindness—

(pause)

speaking to yourself

the way you would a friend.

(pause)

Noticing when your inner voice

is harsh…

(pause)

and choosing something different.

(pause)

---

Common humanity—

(pause)

remembering that suffering

is part of being human.

(pause)

You are not the only one

who feels this way.

(pause)

And that matters—

(pause)

because feeling alone

makes everything heavier.

(pause)

---

And mindfulness—

(pause)

recognizing that what you feel

is only part of your experience.

(pause)

Not the whole story.

(pause)

Not permanent.

(pause)

Just something that is here

right now.

(pause)

---

And just like everything else

we’ve talked about—

(pause)

this takes practice.

(pause)

So we’re going to try

a simple way to do this together.

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Planning for Adversity using WOOP

Підготовка до складних ситуацій за допомогою методу БРПП

Strategic Plan

Wish— “I don’t want to have intense emotions in sessions when I hear horrible stories”
Outcome—“To support people as a mental health specialist without being overwhelmed”
Obstacle—“Some things will be more difficult to hear than others”
If-then Plan—“When I start to feel intense emotions or overwhelmed, I will hold my own hand and tell myself this is moment of suffering and I am not alone”

Стратегічний план

Бажання — «Я не хочу відчувати сильні емоції під час сеансів, коли чую жахливі історії»�
Результат — «Підтримувати людей як фахівець з психічного здоров’я, не переживаючи надмірного стресу» �
Перешкода — «Деякі речі буде важче вислухати, ніж інші»�
План «Якщо-тоді» — «Коли я почну відчувати сильні емоції або перевантаження, я візьму себе за руку і скажу собі, що це момент страждання і що я не самотній»

Wish

Outcome

Obstacle

If-Then Plan

(Oettingen, 2014)

Бажання

Результат

Перешкода

План “Якщо-

тоді”

One way to make your plan more sustainable—� (pause)� is to plan for the hard moments.� (pause)� Because they will keep coming.� (pause)� So instead of trying to avoid them—� (pause)� you decide in advance:� (pause)� If this happens…� then I will do this.� (pause)� This is called an “if-then” plan.

(pause)

You don’t have to figure this out in the moment—� you’ve already decided.� (pause)� For example—� (pause)� If I start to feel overwhelmed…� (pause)� then I pause…� (pause)� and use something we just practiced.� (pause)� Maybe I hold my own hand…� (pause)� remind myself this is a hard moment…� (pause)� and that I am not alone.� (pause)� This makes your plan something you can return to—� (pause)� even when things are difficult.

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How would you talk to a friend?

Як би ти розмовляв із другом?

Exercise from: Self-compassion.org

(Neff, Germer 2016)

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