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Relationships & Domestic Violence

Learning Opportunities For LINC Levels 3-4

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About this Resource

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What’s in this resource?

Learning opportunities for the LINC classroom in the form of:

    • Printable worksheets
    • Audio
    • Video
    • Images

Additional blackline master for teachers with resources and worksheets

Canadian Language Benchmarks

This document offers skill building tasks on the theme of:

  1. Healthy Relationships vs Unhealthy relationships
  2. Understanding various type of domestic violence
  3. Canadian Laws around domestic violence
  4. How to take action in a domestic violence situation

This resource suggests real world task assessments with corresponding CLB competencies for listening/speaking/reading

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Continued

About this Resource

  1. Activity slides:

marked with a yellow star

  • Instructions for carrying out activities located in the “speaker notes” section

2. Content slides

Suggestions for using the content slides:

  • Scan for familiar and unfamiliar vocabulary
  • Add to the list
  • Agree or disagree

4

There are two types of slides in this presentation:

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The Team

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Afghan Women’s Organization

Funded by

Maha Amin

Hala Bastawros

Kristine Corbet

Ontario Institute for the Studies of Education

Funded by

Dr. Antoinette Gagné

Dr. Dania Wattar

Krystal Selbee

Wesal Abu Qaddum

This Resource is the result of collaboration between different professionals and organizations

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Table of Contents

  • Learning Outcomes
  • CLB Skills
  • Healthy Relationships
    • Skill building activities: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
  • Unhealthy Relationships
    • Skill building activities: 1,
  • Domestic Violence
    • Skill building activities:1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
  • Canadian Law
    • Skill building activities 1, 2,
  • What to do
    • Skill building activities: 1, 2, 3, 4
  • Additional Resources

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Learning Outcomes

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1

Identify healthy vs unhealthy relationships

2

How to support healthy relationships

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5

How to take action in a domestic violence situation

.

4

Laws related to domestic violence

Describe and define different kinds of domestic violence

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Real World Task Suggestions for CLB Competencies Levels 3 & 4

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  • Student will listen to a conversation and evaluate whether “healthy” or “unhealthy” language is used
  • IV. Comprehending Information

  • Student will set up an appointment with a couples counselor
  • I. Interacting with Others
  • III. Getting Things Done
  • Student will request an interpreter for a meeting
  • I. Interacting with Others
  • III. Getting Things Done
  • Student will make a 911 call to report an observance of DV in the community
  • IV. Sharing Information

  • Student will perform an internet search for DV support services
  • III. Getting Things Done
  • IV. Comprehending Information
  • Student will scan a website and obtain important information on how to access domestic violence supports
  • III. Getting Things Done
  • IV. Comprehending Information

  • Student will write a police report about a domestic violence conflict they observed
  • IV. Sharing Information

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LINC Teachers vs CNC

LINC teachers work with adults (18+) and as such are not responsible for immediately reporting signs of domestic violence to any authorities. In fact, reporting without the students permission could put them in danger.

Rather, build a safe and trusting relationship with your student and advocate for her when liaising with a settlement working, social worker or victims services.

CNC work with vulnerable youth under the age of 18. Child care workers are required by law to follow the protocol mandated by their professional college. This may include the immediate reporting on signs of abuse or neglect.

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1.

Healthy Relationships

What do they look, feel and sound like?

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Warm-up

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Please be advised that the content to follow is sensitive and may be triggering to some individuals

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“A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams or your dignity

-Dinkar Kalotra

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http://immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/

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Sourced from: http://immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/

Multi-language cards: http://www.immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/safe-and-loved-at-home-cards

Languages available include; Arabic, Tamil, Urdu, Dari, Spanish, Somali, Pashtu,

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Sourced from: http://immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/

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Sourced from: http://immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/

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Sourced from: http://immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/

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Sourced from: http://immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/

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Sourced from: http://immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/

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Sourced from: http://immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/

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Story Share

  1. Read the story on your own

  • Find someone who read a different story

  • Tell the person about the story you read

*When retelling the story use your own words. Don’t read from the paper

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Story Share

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Healthy Relationships

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I see

I hear

I feel

  • couples helping each other

  • kind words

  • safe

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Sharing Responsibilities

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Shared Responsibilities

Wife’s

Responsibilities

Husband’s Responsibilities

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“Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be good will last very long” – Amy Grant

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Healthy Relationships are...

  • Fair
  • Sharing
  • Honest
  • Caring
  • Supportive
  • Good communication

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Honesty Activity

A: Tell your partner 3 facts about your life

Tell 2 honest (true) facts and 1 lie

B:

I believe _____ and_____ are true.

I think ___________ is not true.

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Trust Activity

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In group of 3 students play the trust game where two people catch a person falling backward

Use the script:

A & B: Do you trust us?

C: Yes, I trust you - or - no, I don’t trust you

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Reference:

http://aimtargetprograms.com/power-control-equality-wheel/

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2.

Respectful and Effective Communication

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Good Communication is...

  • Listening
  • Empathizing
  • Not yelling
  • Patient
  • “I” statements
  • Saying “sorry”
  • Forgiving

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Active Versus Passive Listening

Active

  • Listening to understand
  • Mirror
  • Allow them to complete sentence

Passive

  • Only thinking about yourself

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Active listening is when you mirror someone’s speech

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Active listening is when you pay attention to what someone is saying

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I language” “You language”

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You language”

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Changes these sentences to “I” statements

  1. You never listen to me.

“I feel like I am not heard”

  • You are driving me crazy.
  • You have a bad attitude.
  • You are no fun.
  • You don’t keep your word.

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You Language Answer Key/Examples

  1. You never listen to me.

I feel like I am not heard”

  • You are driving me crazy.

I am very stressed out right now”

  • You have a bad attitude.

“It's hard to work on this with you right now”

  • You are no fun.

“Are you having fun right now?” “I am not having fun”

  • You don’t keep your word

I feel like it’s hard to trust you sometimes”

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Active Passive

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Active versus Passive Listening

  1. Listen to the conversation
  2. Which one is active and which one is passive?

Conversation 1 a

Conversation 1 b

Transcription here

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sibilities

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Active versus Passive Listening

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3.

Unhealthy Relationships

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Please be advised that the content to follow is sensitive and may be triggering to some individuals

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Unhealthy Relationships are when people use...

Power and control to hurt and abuse their partner

  • Using body or objects to scare you
  • Saying hurtful comments
  • Isolation- no friends, family or work
  • Hiding money

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The difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships

Responsible

Quality time

Compliments

Helping the children

Careless

Loneliness

Insults

Neglecting the children

مسؤول

وقت الجودة

تكملة

مساعدة الأطفال

غير مبالي

الشعور بالوحدة

اهانة

إهمال الأطفال

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The difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships

Equality

Love

Honesty

Having friends

Inequality

Abuse

Lying

Isolation

المساواة

حب

الصدق

وجود صديق

عدم المساواة

إساءة/عنف

يكذب

وحيد

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Unhealthy Relationships

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I see

I hear

I feel

  • pushing

  • yelling all the time
  • scared

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Reference: https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/understand-domestic-violence/what-is-domestic-violence/controlling-relationships/power-and-control-wheel/

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4.

Domestic Violence

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Please be advised that the content to follow is sensitive and may be triggering to some individuals

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Background Knowledge

Game: Last Person Standing

Equipment: Ball

  1. Say a word that comes to mind about domestic violence
  2. Then pass the ball to another student

If a student doesn’t have a word or repeats a word they sit down.

Continue until there is only one person standing.

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Signs

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Video Comprehension

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Warning Signs of An Abuser

  1. What signs did you see in the video?

  • He puts her down: The abuser uses degrading or disrespectful language when talking about or to her
  • He puts on a show: The abuser lies or exaggerates his own good qualities
  • He isolates her: The abuser limits her leaving the house for social interactions. He may try to keep her away from you
  • He does all the talking: He dominates the conversation
  • He acts superior: He may act like he has more value and worth than others in his family or home
  • He acts as if he owns her: This can show through his words, body language, and expectations
  • He monitors her: He monitors her conversations and interactions with friends and family in person, over the phone, and online. He may use extended family and community members to help him watch and monitor her
  • He acts depressed: He may suggest that he is the victim and attempt to make people feel sorry for him

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Warning Signs for a woman

  1. What signs did you see in the video?

  • She is nervous: she seems visibly anxious or uncomfortable, especially when the abuser is around
  • She calls in sick a lot: she seems to be sick more often and misses school, work or community functions
  • She is apologetic: she says she is sorry for the abuser’s behaviour and makes excuses for him
  • She gets angry: She may become aggressive and angry to defend the abuser
  • She avoids you: She cancels plans at the last minute and avoids you when she runs into you on the street
  • She drinks or uses drugs more: She may be increasing the amount she drinks or uses to cope
  • She seems sad: She seems withdrawn, lonely, and upset
  • She has bruises: She may have injuries or bruises that are visible
  • She is isolated: She does not have access to meet loved ones and friends in person, talk over the phone or using the internet
  • She is dependent on the abuser: She does not have access to financial resources or legal documents that are important to her

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True or False

  1. Violence against women is rare.

  • Women are just as violent as men.

  • Domestic violence only happens to poor people.

  • Domestic violence only happens once.

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Please be advised that the content to follow is sensitive and may be triggering to some individuals

The content will include a list of definitions and examples considered abusive

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Types of Abuse

There are at least 9 types of abuse:

  1. Physical
  2. Emotional
  3. Verbal
  4. Spiritual/religious
  5. Mental
  6. Digital
  7. Sexual
  8. Economic
  9. Cultural

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Physical Abuse

When a person hurts someone’s body.

  • Slapping
  • Pushing
  • Shoving
  • Hitting with an object
  • Kicking

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Emotional Abuse

Using actions to hurt someone’s feelings.

  • Humiliating them
  • Making them feel inferior
  • Saying negative things about them
  • Ignoring their feelings
  • Not showing affection

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Verbal Abuse

Using words to hurt someone’s feelings.

  • Calling them names
  • Making inappropriate jokes
  • Embarrassing them
  • Saying bad things about them to kids, family and friends
  • Accusing/blaming

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Spiritual / Religious Abuse

Using religion or spirituality to hurt someone.

  • “God will punish you if you don't…”
  • Stop them or kids from practicing religion
  • Insults their religion
  • Using religion to justify abuse

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Mental Abuse

Using language and actions to make someone feel crazy.

  • Isolating partner
  • Not supporting their feelings
  • Not listening to opinions and thoughts

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Digital Abuse

Using the internet (Facebook) to hurt someone.

  • Taking videos or pictures without consent
  • Telling lies online
  • Sends inappropriate content
  • Harassment online

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Sexual Abuse

Controlling someone’s body without consent.

  • Forcing wife to have sex
  • Unwanted touching
  • Forced marriage

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Economic Abuse

When the partner controls the money.

  • Hiding money from them
  • Making them ask for money
  • Taking their pay-check or not letting them work
  • Not allowing them send money back home
  • Applying for credit cards under their name (no consent)

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Cultural Abuse

Using cultural beliefs or practices to hurt someone physically or emotionally.

  • Make fun of someone's culture
  • Using offensive & culturally specific language/insults
  • Harmful rituals or ceremonies (Genital mutilation formerly known as female circumcision)

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Reference: http://www.refuge.org.uk/files/Whats-yours-is-mine-Full-Report.pdf

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Defining Domestic Abuse

Groups of 3

  1. Using cue cards, 1 student reads descriptors of violence

2. The 2 students call out what kind of violence (i.e., financial, verbal, etc)

3. Switch so another student reads a card

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Defining Domestic Abuse Cue Cards

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What's missing?

In groups of 2

  1. Using the cue cards, student pick 3 types of abuse

  • Read the examples of the abuse

  • Come up with other examples that fall under the definition of the type of abuse

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Effects On Children

It is known that seeing family violence is as harmful as experiencing it directly.

Parents believe they can hide intimate partner violence from children from, but research tells that children see or hear many of the incidents.

Children who witness family violence experience the same consequences as those who are directly abused.

Adapted from: http://www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca/cp-pc/chi-enf-abu-eng.htm

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Cycle of Violence

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Discussion

Why does violence against women happen?

I think violence against women happens because

_______________________________________________________________

Can violence against women be stopped?

Yes, I believe violence against women can be stopped if_____________________________________________________________

No, I don’t believe violence against women can be stopped because______________________________________________________

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5.

Canadian Laws

and

Programming

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Please be advised that the content to follow is sensitive and may be triggering to some individuals

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Domestic Violence and Laws

Print cards from here

Canada

Home country

← same →

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Domestic Violence and Laws

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Laws on Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is illegal in canada and is defined by the law as:

For the purposes of this Act, domestic violence means the following acts or omissions committed against an applicant, an applicant’s relative or any child:

1. An assault that consists of the intentional application of force that causes the applicant to fear for his or her safety, but does not include any act committed in self-defence.

2. An intentional or reckless act or omission that causes bodily harm or damage to property.

3. An act or omission or threatened act or omission that causes the applicant to fear for his or her safety.

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Laws on Domestic Violence

Continued:

4. Forced physical confinement, without lawful authority.

5. Sexual assault, sexual exploitation or sexual molestation, or the threat of sexual assault, sexual exploitation or sexual molestation.

6. A series of acts which collectively causes the applicant to fear for his or her safety, including following, contacting, communicating with, observing or recording any person

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What’s the difference ?

Domestic violence

  • Conflict between the partners in a relationship
    • E.g wife and husband

Family violence

  • Conflict between the family members
    • E.g. problem between the mother in law and wife

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Case scenarios

The examples provided include 3 case scenarios:

  1. The victim calling the police on her partner
    1. Being sponsored by your partner and calling the police
  2. The perpetuator getting arrested and charged with assaulting their partner
  3. Being proactive by seeking counselling

See attached document

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Case Study #1

John and Lisa

John and Lisa have been married for four years. The marriage was good but everything changed one year ago. John started calling Lisa bad names. For example, he calls her stupid when she forgets to clean the dishes after dinner. Lisa started feeling unhappy with John.

In the past three months, John started slapping Lisa when she made mistakes. She decided to leave him. She was scared about calling the police because John sponsored her and she does not want to be deported back home.

Lisa’s friend told her that she will not get deported if she calls the police. Lisa now feels safe to ask the police for help. They drove together to the police station and Lisa filed a case on her husband.

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Case Study #2

Adam

Adam and his wife Rose had a fight in their home. The neighbours called the police. The police came to their house and saw that Adam had punched Rose.

Adam was arrested and sent to the police station. The next day, he went to court. The judge told him that he has to do a program called the Partner Assault Response program. Adam now has a lawyer. The lawyers gave him the information about the program and the location.

Adam has to go to the class for twelve weeks and take responsibility for his abusive actions towards his wife. In the class he is learning about healthy relationships. He could not talk to his wife until she signed a letter saying it's okay to talk to him. He has a copy of the letter in his wallet.

Adam is back with his wife and they are trying to make their marriage healthy. He is nice and loving towards Rose.

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Case Study #3

Al and Nancy

Al and Nancy have been married for six years. They have four kids. It is hard raising kids in a new country. Al is frustrated because he does not have a job.

Al and Nancy fight all the time and sometimes they fight in front of the kids. They scream at each other. One time Al said something mean to Nancy, he called her a stupid bad mom.

Al and Nancy learned about couples counselling. The counsellor can help them with their relationship issues. The counsellor can also help Al get a job in Canada.

Al and Nancy went to the counsellor. They learned about respectful and effective communication. The counsellor also offered advice on how to support each other and raise the kids together. The couple found the counselling helpful and they no longer scream at each other.

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Relationships can move up and down a continuum. They are not fixed.

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Unhealthy Relationships

Healthy Relationships

Abuse

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6.

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

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7.

What to do

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What to do...

Helping a friend

Listen to the conversation

  1. Who are they talking about?
  2. What is wrong with the person?
  3. What kind of abuse are they experiencing?
  4. What is the woman going to tell her neighbor?

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What to do...

Helping a friend

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The Importance of Naming Abuse

Naming the abuse and the abuser can help survivors of domestic violence see that it is not their fault and not their problem

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Where to get help

You can get help in an emergency, in a crisis, or anytime that you experience abuse. You can get help in many ways:

  • Speak to a social worker or counsellor.
  • Call 2-1-1
  • Go to a hospital or tell your doctor.
  • Call a telephone crisis line for assaulted women.
  • Contact a settlement agency.
  • Contact a community information centre.
  • Go to a shelter.
  • Call the police for emergency protection.

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Skimming and Scanning Exercise

Sourced from: https://www.211toronto.ca/topic/abuseassault

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Search for Help

  1. As a class generate as much language for a google search around domestic violence support

For example:

where - who - what

“toronto women’s shelters”

2. (Independently) students search online for 3 resources to help someone in an abusive situation. Students submit: the name, location, hours, telephone of the site

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Victim Services Peel

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Peel Children’s Aid

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Protects children from abuse and neglect and helps parents and caregivers build healthy families.

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Services for women

  • Assaulted Women’s Helpline 24-hour crisis line 416-863-0511 or 1-866-863-0511 or TTY 1-866-863-7868
  • Victim Services Toronto (416-212-1310)
  • Victim Services High Risk Support Services (416-808-7077)
  • Victim Support Line 416-314-2447 or (1-888-579-2888)
  • Children Aid-Toronto- 416-921-9975
  • Police- 911

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Sourced from: www.endingviolencecanada.org/getting-help/

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Who can help me the best?

The following is a list of helpers and they're work:

  • Social workers
    • Social service workers
    • Activists
    • Counsellors
    • Makes referrals to communities

  • Counsellors
    • Gives you personal, emotional, mental and social supports through therapy
    • Offers referrals when appropriate

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Who can help me the best?

  • Psychotherapist or Psychologist
    • Does clinical work
    • Knows about mental health
    • Does not usually make referrals to community services

  • Crisis counsellor
    • Helps you with emergencies or crisis
    • Helps you get immediate services
    • Makes a lot of referrals

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Who can help me the best?

  • Settlement worker
    • Helps you access settlement services such as housing, opening bank accounts, registering kids at school etc
    • Mostly for newcomer clients

  • Children Aid Society worker
    • A worker that focuses on the health, wellbeing and safety of a child
    • They work for the Children Aid society
    • They work with the parents to keep the child in the family if possible

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Who can help me the best?

  • Psychiatrist
    • Mental health doctor
    • Only professional who can give medications
    • Does not usually make referrals to community services

  • They can all do the same work but only psychiatrists give medications

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Who can help me the best?

  • In domestic violence situations, the best help is from a violence prevention counsellor/worker

Why?

  • They have the most knowledge
  • They know about services
  • They can make referrals and have connections
  • They usually know about the laws

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What to do?

If I see domestic violence I can_____________________.

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What to do?

If I hear domestic violence I can_____________________.

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What to do?

If I experience domestic violence I can_________________.

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IRCC Facilitation Guide for Gender-Based Violence Prevention

Sourced from: https://issuu.com/ymcaofgreaterhalifaxdartmouth/docs/ymca-manual-online

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We Speak NY

High production quality (fictional) movies on the topic of domestic violence

Text created by the city of New York for ELLs

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Ontario based printable info cards in many languages (Neighbours, Friends and Families (NFF))

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Immigration, status, and domestic violence

info for frontline workers

http://www.immigrantandrefugeenff.ca/sites/d7nff.settlementtech.org/files/famvio.

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Thank you !

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Blackline Master/ supplementary document

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