The Trouble With Talking
Kathrin Passig
Slide 1 of 847
just kidding
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View these slides at
bit.ly/2ubE515
“Evolution has already optimized talking. Everything else is a step backwards.”
(Lutz Jäncke, 2012, quoted from memory)
“... [computer-mediated communication] often lacks enough appropriate non-verbal communication cues, preventing effective conveyance of emotions and attitudes to CMC messages, thus compromising the meaning of messages.”
(Venter, 2017)
“Face-to-face communication is the best way
to make decisions, solve problems�and for relational development.”
(Venter, 2017)
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Assumption 1:
Evolution knows best
Assumption 1a:
Ok, maybe evolution
doesn’t know best, but
we need more time to adapt
Assumption 2:
More writing – more fighting
Assumption 2a:
“People did not fight so much before the internet”
Assumption 2b:
“People did not fight so much before social media”
maybe
people always fought a lot,�but it was less public,�so we didn’t notice
maybe
people did fight less,�but they also had fewer friendly & productive debates
maybe
there’s a learning curve
Assumption 3:
We resort to talking
when we want to avoid misunderstandings
Assumption 4:
People generally understand�what we’re telling them face-to-face
Assumption 4a:
We manage to�express ourselves clearly when talking
but
we say things that we shouldn’t have said...
...and miss things
we should have said
Assumption 4b:
We listen attentively
when others are talking
but
we tend to interrupt
the other person
and
we are busy thinking about what we want to say next
and
there’s no scrolling back
Assumption 4c:
In face-to-face communication
we notice misunderstandings
as they’re happening
Assumption 5:
More emotional information
is always helpful
“On the other hand, many women who responded to Moyal's Australian survey felt that telephone conversations with friends were franker and more intimate than in-person ones.”
Assumption 6:
Conflicts are due to�misunderstandings
Maybe the conflict is real�and we’re hiding it
more successfully
when talking?
Assumption 7:
Talking works best
for everyone
“Face-to-face communication is the best way
to make decisions, solve problems�and for relational development.”
(Venter, 2017)
except
the blind�the deaf�and the ugly
“And this particular limitation enabled classes of people who were disabled in real-space life. Think about three such classes—the blind, the deaf, and the ‘ugly.’”
“The architecture of this original cyberspace gave these groups something that they did not have in real space. More generally, it changed the mix of benefits and burdens that people faced—the literate were enabled and the attractive disabled relative to real space.”
and
shy people
and
people who are slow at interpreting social cues
and
very young people
and
old people
and
people who simply
can’t be there
and
women
Assumption 8:
Talking works best
in all situations
except
when you need
to remain anonymous
or
when you want to
talk about potentially stigmatizing issues
or
when you want
the conversation documented
or
when you want
to reach many people
or
when you need
more time to think
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What to do?
(2011)
“... unqualified optimism about the inherent value of visual cues in online communication may be as scientifically unfounded as it is intuitive. Research exploring the utility of visual images of participants in CMC has tended to reflect two trends. First, great consistency in users’ ratings of the desirability of video communication, and, second, no consistent support for the material benefits of the channel, despite its appeal.”
remote work
There is no
“online communication”.
There is no “internet”.
E-Mail, chat, texting, Skype, instant messaging, video conferencing, Discord, Mumble, Twitch...
Who benefits?
“However, when the questions were about why the communities have adopted centralized governance structures through segregated discussion lists, and why all members could not participate in decision making through discussion lists, some members (mainly leaders) emphasized that discussion lists are not adequate channels for decision making, which should be made in face-to-face meetings.”
“The discussion list is not the space to make decisions. We make decisions in face-to-face
meetings, because the virtual hides the smile, the gesture, the attitude. These are human values.”
“The exchange of emails is not an adequate process to form consensus. We need face-to-face meetings. People need to look each other in the eyes, to have human contact.”
“The argument systematically appeared when respondents where challenged to explain centralized governance structures, e.g. the exclusion of ordinary members from segregated discussion lists. In addition, this symbolic value is cited mainly by leaders: only three of the 26 citations have been made by ordinary members.”
“Talk isn’t about info”
Robin Hanson, www.overcomingbias.com/2008/09/politics-isnt-a.html
(2018)
Sometimes, talk is not even�about communication
Why am I doing this?
What are you doing here?
Thank you!
Slides: bit.ly/2ubE515
Twitter (in German): @kathrinpassig�Everything else (in German, too): kathrin.passig.de