Marital Sexuality – Love’s Perfect Design

Marital Sexuality – Love’s Perfect Design

• Introduction:

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• Goals of this Topic:
• 1. To understand God’s design for the marital act (sexual intercourse) within marriage.
• 2. To explore the nature and purpose of the marital act in the way in which it consummates (perfects) and renews your consent.
• 3. To explain Fertility Awareness Methods (FAM), also known as Natural Family Planning (NFP).
• 4. To differentiate between contraception and FAM.

Marital Sexuality

• Goals – continued:
• 5. To help you explore perceived obstacles to Natural Family Planning use.

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• 6. To help you understand the scientific basis of Natural Family Planning.

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• 7. To help you understand Natural Family Planning methods and their efficacy.

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PRE-PRESENTATION

• 1. A woman has biological signs that indicate the days when pregnancy can occur.______
• 2. Ovulation (the release of an egg cell) occurs on day 14 in the menstrual cycle._________
• 3. NFP / FAM is an educated guess about a woman’s fertility.__________
• 4. During a woman’s fertile phase, the sperm can survive in the female reproductive system for up to five days after intercourse.________
• 5. A normal cycle length falls within a 23 to 35-day range._______
• 6. The Church teaches that married couples should only have sex for procreation.______
• 7. After ovulation, a woman’s egg will live for 12-24 hours._______
• 8. Healthy men are fertile about 17 days during the month.______
• 9. Correct use of FAM / NFP is as effective as artificial means of contraception._______
• 10. NFP / FAM reduces intimacy between a couple.______

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Christ’s Vision For The Marital Embrace

• Encourages redeeming our desires.
• Sex was meant to be pleasurable so that you will desire sharing it with your spouse.
• Marital intimacy is an embrace that completely gives and receives from each other.
• It reflects the outpouring of God’s love for you, and it is a demonstration of your free and total love for your spouse.
• When you participate in marital intimacy, you partake of God’s creativity through procreation, and in God’s selfless love through union.

Foster Intimacy

• Intimacy is vital for a long and happy marriage.
• Intimacy is more than having sex, and having sex does not mean you are being truly intimate.
• Being intimate means being vulnerable, letting go of your fears, communicating, and trusting that your spouse accepts all of you.
• NFP – FAM invites a husband to become an active, caring, and knowledgeable participant in a couple’s intimate reality, their fertility.

Marital Sexuality – The Vision

• “Married love…is the human reality that best images the commitment, the intensity, indeed the passion of Christ’s love for the Church.” (JPII).

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• “The marital act is sacred…The sexual love couples share within the bond of marriage can even be an act of worship. The total sacrifice of self that is offered between husband and wife is a reminder of Jesus’ great sacrifice for His Bride, the Church, and reveals agape love.” (JPII)

Marital Sexuality

• Agape Love: “Willing the good of the other.” (St. Thomas Aquinas)
• A love rooted in choice and commitment, not emotion or attraction.
• Selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional.
• It seeks the well-being of others without expecting anything in return.
• It is the love that God has for humanity. (1Corinthians13:4-8):
• “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, self-seeking, or easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Instead of rejoicing in evil, it rejoices with the truth and endures all things, including protecting, trusting, hoping, and persevering. Love never fails.”

Marital Sexuality

• Sex as an Expression of Marital Love:
• 1. Free – consensual, free of coercion.
• 2. Total – gift of self, body, and soul, wedding vows bind your souls to each other, consummate these vows in the marital act. Total union of body and soul.
• 3. Faithful – exclusive, permanent, sacred, and inviolable dignity.
• 4. Fruitful – babies, remaining open to new life, and bonding.
• 5. Sacrificial – expression of love, renewal of vows, “becomes subject to one another for love of Christ” (Ephesians 5:21), self-offering, bodily consummation is necessary for the vows to be complete. The spirituality of the marital embrace is meant to help spouses deepen their understanding of their sexual intimacy.

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Couple Fertility – For Pregnancy to Occur

• Sperm.
• Egg.
• Cervical Fluid needs to be present and hospitable.
• The egg lives 12-24 hours after ovulation.
• In the presence of cervical fluid, sperm live three to five days in the woman’s reproductive system.

How Do We Identify The Fertile Phase

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• Changes in resting body temperature (basal body temperature).

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• Changes in cervical fluid.

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• Changes in female hormones.

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• Cycle data and formulas can also help to identify the fertile phase.

Marital Sexuality

• Fertility:
• Average menstrual cycle is 28-32 days. But it can range from 23 to 35 days.
• Fertility Cycle: Day 1 begins when menstruation starts.
• The first day of your window of fertility is determined by subtracting 18 days from the length of your shortest cycle.
• The last fertile day is determined by subtracting 11 from the length of your longest cycle.
• Basal Body Temperature: oral temperature every morning before getting out of bed using a basal thermometer. A temperature rise can indicate ovulation. Can be affected by poor sleep, among other factors.
• Cervical Mucus: ovulation usually occurs within 1-2 days of when the cervical/vaginal mucus is clearest, slippery, and most stretchy.
• Physical signs of ovulation: change in cervical mucus, slight one-sided pain over the lower pelvis, and breast tenderness.
• Hormonal monitoring in the urine.
• Rate of effectiveness is around 85%-99.6%.

BBT Affected By:

• Hormonal Factors: Estrogen (follicular phase) keeps BBT lower before ovulation. Progesterone (post-ovulation) raises BBT by 0.5 degrees F after ovulation. BBT falls just before menstruation.
• Breastfeeding
• Perimenopause
• Inconsistent sleep
• Shift work or travel across time zones
• Stress (emotional or physical)

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• Alcohol
• Smoking
• Physical activity before measuring
• Illness
• Hormonal birth control
• Some antidepressants
• Environmental Factors: ambient temperature, humidity, sleeping environment, altitude, dehydration
• Medical Conditions
• Measurement Errors: type of thermometer, after moving, different times of day

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Marital Sexuality

• Natural Family Planning Methods – Fertility Awareness:
• Standard Days Method – cycle – shortest, longest, average days
• Ovulation Method – monitors cervical mucus.
• Basal Body Temperature Method – body’s core temperature upon awakening from prolonged sleep.
• Sympto-Thermal Method – monitors BBT and cervical mucus.
• Sympto-Hormonal Method – uses fertility hormones.
• Lactational Amenorrhea (Full Breastfeeding).
• Boston Cross Check method – combines Sympto-Thermal, Sympto-Hormonal, and methods that use a calendar.

Marital Sexuality

• NFP - Fertility Awareness Methods:
• Works with a woman’s unique and natural cycle.

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• No deliberate action is taken to postpone pregnancy beyond not having sexual intercourse during the fertile phase.

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• Every martial act allows fertility to the extent that it is naturally present.

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• Safeguard the unitive and procreative meaning of sex.

• Contraception:
• Overrides a woman’s natural cycle of fertile and infertile phases.

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• Deliberate action is taken before, during, or after sexual intercourse to render the act sterile, incomplete, or to prevent implantation of a fertilized egg.

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• Resistant to fertility.

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• Removes the procreative meaning of sex and limits the unitive, thereby damaging the intrinsic truth of the conjugal act.

Fertility Awareness Can Be Used To:

• Achieve Pregnancy

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• Postpone Pregnancy

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• Diagnose and treat reproductive disorders, including infertility

Responsible and Generous Parenthood

• Family planning is a privilege and responsibility of the married couple to decide with love and generosity when and how many children they will have. Provided that the motive is just and the means are moral.
• Couples should be both responsible and generous in welcoming children.
• Couples may postpone a pregnancy for just reasons: physical, economic, psychological, and social.
• Responsibilities to God, marriage relationship, children, and society must be considered with a proper set of priorities.

Post - Presentation

• 1. A woman has biological signs that indicate the days when pregnancy can occur.
• 2. Ovulation (the release of an egg) occurs on day 14 in the menstrual cycle for every woman.
• 2. NFP / FAM is an educated guess about a woman’s fertility.

• True

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• False

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• False

Post - Presentation

• 4. During a woman’s fertile phase, the sperm can survive in the female reproductive system for up to five days after intercourse.
• 5. A normal cycle length falls within a 23 to 35 day range.
• 6. The Church teaches that married couples should only have sex for procreation.

• True

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• True

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• False

Post Presentation

• 7. After ovulation, a woman’s egg will live for 12-24 hours.
• 8. Health men are fertile about 17 days during the month.
• 9. Correct use of FAM / NFP is as effective as artificial means of contraception.
• 10. NFP / FAM reduces intimacy between a couple.

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• True

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• False

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• True

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• False

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QUESTIONS

We Are On A Mission

• “The Family has the mission to guard, reveal, and communicate love.” (JPII)
• GOALS:
• To help you understand your mission as a married couple.
• To help you consider ways to guard, reveal, and communicate your love for each other throughout your lifetime.
• To encourage you to persevere despite any difficulties that may come.

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We Are On A Mission

• Pope St. Paul VI predicted that with the rise of the birth control pill and a contraceptive mentality, marriages and families would suffer. This can cause a separation of the procreative aspect from the unitive aspect of sex.
• Marriage that seeks God’s will for your life together, fruitful and open to life, is now countercultural.
• Marriage is a calling to attract others to what lifelong love between a man and a woman should look like. And you are called to guard that love forever.
• Pope St. John Paul II said that if you anchor your marriage and family in Christ, you will discover not only your identity, but you will also find your mission.

We Are On A Mission

• St. Pope John Paul II – “If you build your marriage and family on Christ, you will discover not only your identity, but you will find the mission Christ has given you.”
• Family – domestic church, mirroring the Holy Family.
• Guard – to protect and watch over it and ensure that it remains intact.
• Reveal – to make love known, felt, and experienced.
• Communicate – sharing love from one person to another so that they experience it.
• Persevere – to persevere in love means we are called not to quit when it gets hard.

We Are On A Mission

• Bishop Robert Barron and Archbishop Fulton Sheen comment on the proper ordering of relationships:
• Marriage: you, your spouse, and God.
• First and foremost, your relationship with God – individually and as a couple.
• Second, your own relationship with your spouse, your prized earthly relationship.
• The importance of the marital relationship when children, a creation of love, become part of the family.
• The importance of the marital relationship as it relates to the extended family.

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We Are On A Mission

• Communicate – Express your love for your spouse and children to foster a healthy and lasting relationship.
• Be intentional and demonstrate agape love with your words and actions.
• Discover your partner’s love language – Each person in the family receives love in different ways. Take time to discover each member of your family's love language. (www.5lovelanguages.com).
• Persevere – the decision to commit to your marriage, both in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, etc.

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We Are On A Mission

• Importance of Good Friendships: Friends who nurture your marriage and family life.
• Guard your love by establishing health boundaries – career, extended families, social media, relationships with friends of the opposite sex, etc.
• Let your marriage be a sign to the world – Radiate God’s love.
• Your love should be tangible, and it should attract others to seek that same kind of love in their own marriage.
• Persevere in Love – Difficulties and trials in our marriages are inevitable. Work to grow in virtue and love. Help shoulder one another’s burdens. Seek help if needed.
• Heaven is the Endgame – Your path to Heaven is with and through your spouse.

We Are On A Mission

• Lord Jesus, grant that (my spouse’s name) and I may have a true and understanding love for each other. Grant that we may both be filled with faith and trust. Give us the grace to live with each other in peace and harmony. May we always bear with one another’s weaknesses and grow from each other’s strengths. Help us to forgive one another’s failings and grant us patience, kindness, cheerfulness, and the spirit of placing the well-being of one another ahead of self. (Relevant Radio)

We Are On A Mission

• Continue the Conversation started here.
• Apply the principles and skills learned here.
• Visit the sacraments.
• Meet with your priest or deacon.
• Say “I do.”

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Questions