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So Much to Discuss...

→ Stress & children

→ Common stressors for kids

→ Emerging coping skills

→ Data on our kids

→ Physical signs

→ Emotional signs

→ Building Resilience

→ Reframing Failure

→ Dealing with Perfectionism

→ Protective Factors

→ When to seek help

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“How are the children?”

The traditional greeting of Maasai tribe warriors.

The true strength of a community is determined by the wellbeing of its children.

The Maasai believe this is the single most important question to consider each and every day.

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HHS Study in JAMA Pediatrics confirms what all too many of us know and feel in our daily lives: COVID-19 was an exceptional burden on the mental well-being of our nation’s families, including kids.

Link to 3/14/22 article

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Most Common Stressors for Kids

Pain, injury, illness, and other changes are stressors for children. Stressors may include:

Worrying about schoolwork or grades
Juggling responsibilities, such as school and work or sports
Problems with friends, bullying, or peer group pressures
Changing schools, moving, or dealing with housing problems
Having negative thoughts about themselves
Going through body changes, in both boys and girls
Seeing parents go through a divorce or separation
Money problems in the family
Living in an unsafe home or neighborhood

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In small amounts, stress can be good. But, excessive stress can affect the way a child thinks, acts, and feels.

Children learn how to respond to stress as they grow and develop.

Many stressful events that an adult can manage will cause stress in a child.

As a result, even small changes can impact a child's feelings of safety and security.

Stress

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Children may NOT recognize that they are stressed.

New or worsening symptoms help parents detect an increased stress level..

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Emerging Coping Skills

Kids are learning how to...

-say no

-balance school, sleep, play, downtime, etc.

-take breaks, take rest

-Cope with big changes/transitions

-express oneself

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How are OUR children??

Mars is actually a very cold place

It’s the farthest planet from the Sun

Mars

Neptune

Mercury

It’s the closest planet to the Sun

Venus

Venus is the second planet from the Sun

30%

35%

30%

June 2022 CSES Wellbeing Survey Data grades 3-5

53% of our kids felt they could use more help with feeling stressed.

38% recognize they want to feel better about themselves.

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46.5% of students need more help with peer pressure.

Good news!

Protective factor

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STRESS

Physical Symptoms Emotional Symptoms

Decreased appetite, other changes in eating habits
Headaches
New or recurrent bedwetting
Nightmares
Sleep disturbances
Upset stomach or vague stomach pain
Other physical symptoms with no physical illness
Uptick in visits to healthroom
Hair sucking, nailbiting, picking at skin/nails

Anxiety, worry, lots of “what if” questions
New or recurring fears
Clinginess/separation
Anger, crying, whining
Not able to control emotions
Aggressive or stubborn behavior
Going back to behaviors present at a younger age
Doesn't want to participate in family or school activities

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As parents and educators we can help to equip our children with the tools they need to grow resilient, to solve problems, and to prioritize their wellbeing to prevent their stress levels from spiralling out of control.

The Good News

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Here at Cold Spring, we...

-explicitly teach & model various breathing & self-calming techniques, the science behind anxiety

-take regular movement breaks & talk about feelings, leadership qualities, & build empathy, perspective taking

-run a staff wellbeing team who meet regularly in support of wellness. Wellbeing Wednesdays! (Insert shameless plug here)

-explicitly teach resilience building & emotion regulation skills

-normalize the importance of taking care of both physical & mental health

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At home you can help by..

Teaching & Modeling Coping Skills to Build Resilience

Discuss and use feeling words of all kinds. Click here for Printables
Validate feelings first!
Use a growth mindset vocabulary. Add the word “yet.”
Use and model positive self-affirmations.
Talk about and model helpful thinking.
Talk about and model letting go of negative thinking.
Talk about and model healthy habits, including regular exercise.
Foster a sense of competence & the belief that your child can do hard things. Don’t do it for them if they can do it!
Model & encourage self-care routines.
Reframe the concept of failing.

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Take care of your mental health

Practice self-care

Get out in nature

See a doctor/therapist

Stay active

Unplug

Connect w others

Allow yourself time to rest

Model positive self-talk

Put your oxygen mask on first...

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Reframe Failure As a Necessary Step toward Success

-Help your child get comfortable making mistakes

-Perfectionism in children is fairly common

-Social media, family pressure, school environment are major factors

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Characteristics of Perfectionists

Some characteristics of children who are extreme perfectionists:

having exceptionally high expectations for themselves;
being self-critical, self-conscious and easily embarrassed;
having strong feelings of inadequacy and low self-confidence;
exhibiting persistent anxiety about making mistakes;
being highly sensitive to criticism;
procrastinating and avoiding stressful situations or difficult tasks;
being emotionally guarded and socially inhibited;
having a tendency to be critical of others;
exhibiting difficulty making decisions and prioritizing tasks;
experiencing headaches or other physical ailments when they perform below the expectations of themselves or others.

For more info...

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-Family routines can be comforting. Having a family dinner or movie night can help relieve or prevent stress.

-Be a role model. Do your best to keep your own stress under control and manage it in healthy ways.

-Be careful about which television programs, books, and games that young children watch, read, and play.

Spend calm, relaxed time with your children.

Protective Factors

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Listen to your child without being critical or trying to solve the problem right away.
Build your child's feelings of self-worth. Use encouragement and affection. Use rewards instead of punishment. Try to involve your child in activities where they can succeed.
Allow the child opportunities to make choices and have some control in their life. The more your child feels they have control over a situation, the better their response to stress will be.
Encourage physical activity regularly.
Recognize signs of high stress in your child.
Seek help or advice from a health care provider, counselor, or therapist when signs of stress do not decrease or disappear.

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Science has also provided some evidence that physically active people have lower rates of anxiety and depression than sedentary people.

Exercise may improve mental health by helping the brain cope better with stress.

In one study, researchers found that those who got regular vigorous exercise were 25% less likely to develop depression or an anxiety disorder over the next five years.

Facts

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When To Ask for Help:

Talk to your child's provider if your child:

Is becoming withdrawn, more unhappy, or depressed
Is having problems in school or interacting with friends or family
Is unable to control their behavior or anger

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Parent Resources

Family Self Care Plan How To

Tips to Boost Mental Health

Parenting Stress

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/01/parenting/perfectionist-kids.html

Perfectionism article

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Resources for Kids

Go Zen podcast for kids I am Stronger Than Anxiety by Cole

How to Tame My Anxiety Monster by Hawkins

When Harley Has Anxiety- book by Galanti

Breathing Is My Superpower by Ortego

The Worry Stone by Wilkinson (good for older ES)

What To Do When You Worry Too Much workbook by Huebner

Brain Basics for Kids by Lee Constable on Youtube

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Thanks!

Do you have any questions?

Loren_P_Felsher@mcpsmd.org or 240 740 4390

CREDITS: This presentation template was created by Slidesgo, including icons by Flaticon and infographics & images by Freepik

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