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SEL Learning Goal 4: Interpersonal Relationships

Subgoal 4A

Grade Bands 7-Adult

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How to use this module…

Please make a copy of this module to add to the other modules in the SEL Series and use it to write reflections.

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Let’s Review the New SEL Definition

CASEL’s (The Collaborative for Social Emotional Learning) New Definition describes SEL as: “Social and emotional learning (SEL) is an integral part of education and human development. SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.”

“We’ve updated our definition and framework to pay close attention to how SEL affirms the identities, strengths and experiences of all children, including those who have been marginalized in our education systems.”

CASEL: https://casel.org/what-is-sel/

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A Closer Look at Relationship Skills

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Relationship Skills Include...

Communication

Social engagement

Relationship building

*Teamwork

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SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills

MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: Gr 7-9

Subgoal 4A: Apply positive verbal/nonverbal communication and social skills to interact with others Definition: Communication

(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)

Benchmark Skills	Strategies
I can demonstrate reflective listening skills and understand multiple perspectives. I can offer and acknowledge constructive feedback to strengthen connections and improve communication outcomes with others. I can interact on social and digital media responsibly and understand the potential impact on reputation and relationships.	Have students perform different roles in cooperative learning groups (leader, recorder, reporter, time keeper) to develop and practice communication skills. Have students discuss a topic, either as a class or in small groups, then use reflective listening to paraphrase key discussion points. Have students read a book (e.g.The Outsiders) then discuss why the characters responded in a certain way. Students choose a tv show video clip , watch characters, describe their perspectives, and why they may have that point of view. Interview a Human Resources Rep to speak about the implications of social media on hiring practices. Have students respond by writing a social media pledge for themselves, outlining how they will use social responsibly. Resource: www.commonsensemedia.org

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Theory of Mind and Understanding Multiple Perspectives

How does perspective-taking work? Psychology Compass defines Theory of Mind as: “the ability to try to understand the perspectives of others”

Being able to do this depends on Executive Function- specifically, being able to shift between your thinking (state of mind) to someone else’s state of mind.
Perspective-taking involves a whole region of the brain.
When you can take on another’s perspective, you start to see more of yourself in that person- this can strengthen bonds and reduce stereotypes.
Have everyone- teachers, too, take the FREE Cognition Calculator to see how your key cognitive functions perform. This will help the person understand where their cognitive functions are as they relate to self and to perspective-taking abilities. Get your cognition profile results. You can also download the free Psychology Compass app to your phone.

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Practice Perspective-taking Exercise: Watch the video clip from the Outsiders- Before the Rumble. Take on the the perspective of protective older brother, Derry, and why he doesn’t think PonyBoy should fight in the Rumble with the Socs. Write down your thoughts and evidence that supports Derry’s point of view (ex: quotes from Derry) below:

From Derry’s perspective: _________

______________________________

Evidence that supports my thinking:

______________________________

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Exercises to Help Build a Student’s Understanding of Multiple Perspectives

The exercises from Psychology Compass can help you teach students how to see another person’s point of view (provide support /modify to meet the needs of this grade band as needed). Let’s take a look at exercise 1:

Exercise 1: Improving Perspective-taking by Watching a TV Show Video Clip:

Choose a tv show.
Use the next slide to write down the title of the show and the type of show it is (sitcom, drama, action, etc.).
Write down the main character and one other character.
As you watch, think about that character’s point of view/perspective and take notes about how that person is relating to other characters, his/her thoughts and actions, and motivations for why he/she responds to others and situations.
Take on the character’s perspective and explain what it is and why you think they have taken that stance.

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Exercise 1: Improving Perspective-taking by Watching a TV Show Video Clip:

(scribe for students who may need this accommodation)

Extended Practice:

Name of TV Show: ___________________________________________________________

Main Character/s: ____________________________________________________________

Describe the video clip scene: __________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

Describe the character’s feelings or actions from his/her perspective: ____________________

___________________________________________________________________________

What do you think? Does their perspective match your perspective? Why? How? ___________

___________________________________________________________________________

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Perspective-Taking In Your Own Words...

Task: You have to teach someone about perspective-taking and what it means- what it looks like/sounds like. How would you describe what it is? You can choose any method: write, draw, find a pic, a symbol, role play/act out, poem, write song lyrics, rap, etc… that represents or describes perspective- taking. Be creative!

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Here is your blank canvas: It’s your turn to teach Perspective-taking and what this term looks like/sounds/like...

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Cooperative Learning Roles

Read this article: Cooperative Learning: How to Assign Meaningful Tasks to Group Members; from dailyteachingtools.com.

After reading the piece, think about a student with significant cognitive challenges in the class who will need modifications and accommodations in order to access the activity and participate with peers. What individual task will the student be assigned? How will you ensure the student’s access and participation? How will you strive for group diversity?

Achieving Group Diversity: _____________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

Individual Tasks: _____________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

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Modifying Role Responsibilities

Activity: Click on this Teachers Pay Teachers link and download the FREE role task cards. For each role, come up with a creative way to adapt and make it accessible for a student who struggles with reading text on grade level, writing, and understanding comprehension (what each role means and requires the person to do).

Facilitator: ________________________________________

Recorder: ________________________________________

Time Keeper: ______________________________________

Mediator: __________________________________________

One more added: Reporter: ___________________________ (Sharing out to the larger group)

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Paraphrasing Key Points Using Reflective Listening

What is Reflecting? “the process of paraphrasing and restating both the feelings and the words of the speaker”

Purposes:

Allows the speaker to “hear” their own thoughts and to focus on what they say and feel
Shows the speaker that you are trying to perceive the world as they view it and that you are doing your best to understand their messages
Encourages the speaker to keep talking

Info for this slide can be found at: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/reflecting.html

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Paraphrasing Key Points Using Reflective Listening

What it is NOT… It is NOT about the listener taking action:

Does not involve the listener asking questions
Does not involve the listener to introduce a new topic
Does not involve the listener to try to steer the conversation in a different direction
Doesn’t involve interrupting the speaker

Info for this slide can be found at: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/reflecting.html

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Reflective Listening Has 2 Types: Mirroring and Paraphrasing

We will be focusing on paraphrasing.

Paraphrasing is…

Using other words to reflect what the speaker is saying

It shows that the listener is really listening and that the listener is really trying to understand what the speaker is saying saying.

For a detailed description, read the whole article.

From: Skills You Need

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Let’s Watch Paraphrasing in Action

What did you notice?

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Teaching Students How to Paraphrase

Minds in Bloom have some tips:

Step 1: Start by talking: an activity that can support this is to put students in pairs and ask a question such as: “What did you do after school yesterday?” or “Tell where you would like to go on vacation and why.” Student A answers in 3 or 4 sentences. Student B paraphrases Student A’s answer. Then switch. Teacher should model this first!

Another activity to use: Give each student a card with a sentence on it. Students find partners. Student A reads the sentence to Student B. Student B paraphrases it. Then they switch.

STEP 2: Paraphrase a Short Paragraph Together as a Whole Class: give students copies; put the paragraph up on the board; use the 4 R’s to teach them paraphrasing:

Reword, rearrange, realize, recheck

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The 4 R’s Paraphrasing Strategy

Reword: replace words and phrases with synonyms whenever you can

Rearrange: rearrange words within sentences to make new sentences; rearrange the ideas in the paragraph

Realize that some words and phrases cannot be changed- names, dates, titles, etc., cannot be replaced, but they can be presented differently when you paraphrase

Recheck: make sure that your paraphrase conveys the same meaning as the original text

Let’s practice using the 4 R’s Paraphrasing Strategy with a paragraph on the next slide.

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Nauru Island

Original Text: “At just 8.5 square miles, the Pacific island country of Nauru is one of the smallest countries in the world. The island was once rich in phosphate, but most of the resource has been mined, leaving damage to the environment behind. Nauru has a population of about 10,000 people.”

Paraphrased Text: “Nauru is a Pacific island country that is only 8.5 square miles in area. It is one of the smallest countries on the planet and only about 10,000 people live there. Nauru has mined its once plentiful supply of phosphate. This has damaged the environment on the island.”

Does it meet the 4 R Strategy?

Example text from: https://minds-in-bloom.com/teaching-kids-to-paraphrase-step-by-step/

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Paraphrasing continued...

STEP 3: Independent Practice- practice your paraphrasing skills

Activity: try this 5 item quiz on paraphrasing and see if you are able to pick out the paraphrased text. Go here . (from: article in Edutopia )

Record your score: # right out of 5: _________

STEP 4: Put it all together: once students have practiced and are ready to paraphrase on their own, start them off with small chunks- this paraphrasing acronym can help: PARA

Paraphrasing steps from: Minds in Bloom

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SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills

MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: Gr 10-12

Subgoal 4A: Apply positive verbal/nonverbal communication and social skills to interact with others Definition: Communication

(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)

Benchmark Skills	Strategies
I can actively engage in positive interactions to make connections with peers, adults, and community to support and achieve common goals. I can apply constructive feedback to strengthen connections and achieve common goals. I can demonstrate responsible use of social and digital media and understand the potential impact on post secondary goals.	Hold class debates in which peers provide constructive feedback to the speakers on their use of tone and delivery. Help students develop a growth mindset by providing feedback on effort over results, being persistent, and facing challenges as an opportunity. Teach about the difference between assertive, aggressive, and passive behavior. Hold regular class meetings or advisory times to build class unity and empowerment for students. Ask students to conduct an interview with a business/industry representative to explore opportunities within a career field and the skills and education required for success. Research a company’s social media presence and hypothesize how that presence impacts the success/failure of the company.

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Teaching Students How to Give Constructive Feedback On Voice and Tone in a Debate

Giving constructive feedback takes practice. Edutopia offers a strategy that can be helpful when teaching students how to do this in ways that will not be offensive to the person receiving it. The acronym they introduce is: SPARK. Let’s try to modify and use this strategy when giving feedback on voice and tone.

Specific: comments are linked to a specific word, phrase, or sentence (how it was stated)

Prescriptive- offer a solution or strategy that will improve the delivery of the talking point

Actionable- put the feedback in writing- it gives the receiver specific steps to take

Referenced- feedback references the target skills or task criteria

Kind- A MUST! All comments must be given in a kind, supportive way!

Source: https://www.edutopia.org/article/teaching-students-give-peer-feedback

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Feedback Using a Growth Mindset

Students giving feedback to others need to learn how to give the feedback using a growth mindset. Whether it’s praise or critiquing a performance, using growth mindset techniques matter. The authors of Growth Mindset: Feedback and Praise share that there are 3 ways to praise/critique someone:

*example quotes changed to reflect feedback for students in a debate

Praise/Critique the PERSON	Praise/Critique the *PROCESS	Praise/Critique the OUTCOME
Directing it at the person: “You are so smart.” “You are such a good dancer.” “You aren’t good at math.” “You can’ shoot.” If the praise/critique uses the word “You,” it is about the person.	Direct the praise/critique at the effort and strategies the presenter used: “Great job speaking clearly when giving you opening statement about the topic.” “The opening statement you spoke about seemed a bit long. Is there a way that you might be able to paraphrase or summarize it so it gets right to the point you are trying to make?” The goal is to focus on what lead to the outcome.	Directing the praise/critique at the outcome or result: “Wow, you had everyone’s attention as you spoke.” “You made some really good arguments in the debate.”

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Feedback.. The Growth Mindset Way...

The authors conclude that:

Feedback directed at the process encourages the Growth Mindset.
Feedback that focuses on the person or the outcome can create problems and is likely to promote a fixed mindset.

Measuring Feedback- The authors did a study to measure the types of feedback people received in a day. They created a feedback sheet and asked people to record feedback everytime they received it.

Result 1: About half of the feedback people hear comes from peers.

Source: https://trainugly.com/portfolio/peerfeedback/

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Feedback.. The Growth Mindset Way...

RESULT 2: The vast majority of feedback is the WRONG kind!

Only 24% of the feedback people received came from the PROCESS category- the area that promotes a growth mindset. Take a look at the data.

Feedback directed at the process- efforts and strategies- helps create a growth mindset.

Focusing on the person or the outcome can be harmful as it “creates a fixed mindset where we become more concerned about looking good than getting better.” see article

Read a very interesting Feedback Intervention done with young children and the results of the study. How can you create a classroom

culture of students with a growth

Mindset? No matter the age, it can

be done!

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Assertive, Aggressive, or Passive… Which one are you?

Take this short How Assertive Am I? quiz from Compass Toolkit and learn your communication style. Use the space below or a piece of paper to record your answers. Circle A, B, or C and then score yourself.

A B C Tally your As: ________
A B C Tally your Bs: ________
A B C Tally your Cs: ________
A B C
A B C What did you learn about your communication style?
A B C I am: Assertive Aggressive Passive
A B C
A B C
A B C
A B C

Do this exercise with students as an intro to this topic.

Source: http://www.compasstoolkit.ox.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Assertiveness-Quiz-Tips-Individual-Activity.pdf

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Confrontation Styles

How to Teach Students Assertiveness to Respond- Not React to Conflict:

_____________________________________________________________________

Passive *Assertive Aggressive

Never stand up for themselves cold and don’t let people walk all over them don’t control anger give up when faced w/ a difficult situation stand up for themselves and others blow up, hotheaded sometimes called “doormats” bc people they don’t blow up use angry words & walk all over them physical violence to

Confront difficult issues

*true kindness & strength

The James Stanfield Company shares resources on this topic. This company focuses on social and life skills and has many resources available on these topics. Information for this slide from: https://stanfield.com/about-us/

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Teaching Students about the Consequences of Passive and Aggressive Behaviors

What can happen if people are too passive?

Needs don’t get met
Self-esteem and confidence suffer
May be targets for bullies
May have a hard time making friends/connecting and having successful relationships

Too aggressive?

May become bullies
May have difficulty making friends and having successful, healthy relationships
Self-esteem may suffer from getting into trouble more often

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Self-Control...it’s never too late to teach it!

Is a big part of how passive or aggressive a person is!

Being passive=failure of self control (just give up)

Being aggressive=failure of self control (lash out)

Assertive people can control their emotions, identify

their needs, share them clearly and effectively

Teaching assertiveness: (from Stanfield)

Teachers need to model assertive behavior for their students
Saying “No!” is a skill that needs to be taught. Set up safe situations to have students practice this. Role play, read books; short stories, etc.
Setting Boundaries- teach students that it is best to listen to their instincts (that little voice in their head) and follow them - “trust your gut” and make choices that are best for them, not to please others
Self-care- teach students about how to pay attention to their bodies it needs- “fill their own cup first before trying to fill up others’ cups”

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Teaching Self-Control continued...

-Teach the use of “I” Messages and Identifying Feelings
- Take Time- students need to learn how to take time to
think about how they want to respond (not react) to a
difficult situation- being impulsive and acting before thinking

is what typically gets students into trouble

Resources for teaching assertiveness to high school students:

https://padlet.com/ResearchCollaboration/Assertiveness

Speak Up! Guide-published by: STIR-Steps Toward Independence and Responsibility- includes materials for teaching about feelings, body language, identifying behaviors that reflect assertiveness and those that don’t, negotiation skills, activities for practicing assertiveness

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Career Interview Questions

Browse these resources and sample questions that students may ask when inquiring about a career they may be interested in. If there aren’t specific questions regarding the company’s social media presence and/or policies on social media, the student can add in these questions when choosing which ones to ask:

Questions to Ask During an Informational Interview

Questions to ask at a job interview- from Indeed

The Complete Guide to Researching a Company - from Indeed

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SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills

MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: ADULT

Subgoal 4A: Apply positive verbal/nonverbal communication and social skills to interact with others Definition: Communication

(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)

Benchmark Skills	Strategies
I can demonstrate strategies for collaborating with peers, adults, and others in the community. I can offer and accept constructive criticism in order to help others and improve myself. I can work to maintain an objective, non-judgemental tone during disagreements. I can use assertive communication to meet my needs	Promote collaboration by building positive relationships to work with people. Give constructive feedback by acknowledging the positive and identifying specific examples in a respectful manner. Accept constructive feedback by listening, clarifying, and adopting a growth mindset. Use clear “I” statements when dealing with conflict. Follow a systematic approach to conflict resolution that achieves mutually satisfactory results by addressing the needs of all concerned.

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FYI...

Review the strategies and ideas shared in the 10-12 Grade Bands as they can be applicable in supporting the Adult Benchmarks/Strategies as well.

This module will include additional resources and practice materials aligned to the Benchmarks that adults can benefit from.

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Teaching Assertive Behavior Techniques

Let’s Listen:

In the video, the speaker gives examples of an assertive and an aggressive response. Describe how an assertive reply will get you further than an aggressive one.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Helping Adults Understand Assertiveness Part 1

WikiHow has some helpful tips:

Define assertive behavior- this means

Expressing your feelings and opinions in a clear, honest, and respectful manner.

Being able to set appropriate boundaries in personal and professional relationships.

Valuing and respecting the rights, feelings, and opinions of others.

Making your wants and needs known to others without being pushy or demanding.

Staying calm in tense situations.

Taking responsibility for your own emotions, opinions, and actions.

Info for slides 37- 42 taken from: https://www.wikihow.com/Teach-Assertiveness-to-Adults

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