LOVING OUR TRANSGENDER �KIN

Avery Arden (they/them)

avery@mlp.org�

Session 3: Taking Action!

GREETINGS!

• (Have paper & writing �utensil ready for later!)�
• Who am I?�
• Who are you?

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• Name
• Pronouns, if you choose
• Any leadership role you have (in church or elsewhere!)

MAKING THE MOST OF THIS TIME

• Ask me to repeat or rephrase at any point;�hold on to content questions

• Ask the questions you need in order to learn and grow towards fuller respect & solidarity

• Saving deep dives for the future

OPENING PRAYER

God who gathers more, and still more people,�open our hearts and minds to recognize

what needs to be re-imagined—expanded—transformed

to make our church a home for your transgender children.

Give us the courage to move beyond our comfort zones,�to let go of “the way things have always been”

in order to take up your call with you:

“Behold! I am making all things new!”

Amen.

PREPARING THE WAY

Setting the stage �for action �with communal reflection

Why do we have to know this stuff? Isn’t changing our church space �the pastor’s job?

We say �“all are welcome” — isn’t that enough?

Imagine you’re trans (or maybe you are!) and you’re visiting Lakeview Presbyterian for the first time. What will you experience…

• When you check out the website / Facebook page the night before?
• As you pull up to and enter the building?
• When the usher/greeter says hello?
• Checking on the bathroom situation?
• Attending Sunday School?
• Observing or talking to others in the pews?
• Partaking in worship — the music, leaders, liturgy?

TRANSFORMING OUR SPACES

What needs to change in our physical spaces to ensure the safety �& full participation of trans folk?

TRANSFORMING OUR LANGUAGE

Does the language used throughout your space — in worship, �on signage, �in everyday greetings — convey welcome or exclusion?

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RETHINKING GENDERED PHRASES

• Defining cissexism and binary language
• Why’s it matter?�
• Alternatives in greetings / conversation…

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• “Welcome, ladies!” “Hey guys!” “Excuse me, ma’am”
• “Ladies and gentlemen…”
• Discussing things typically associated with one binary sex/gender
• Other common phrases?

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Remember: When you mess up…

“BROTHERS AND SISTERS…”

• Alternatives?
• siblings, kin (in Christ), beloved community…

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• If we neutralize, are we erasing women?
• We can also expand! �”Sisters, brothers, and (nonbinary) siblings…”

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• Is it all that bad to use a hymn with binary language? …What if it’s a really good hymn?

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“BROTHERS AND SISTERS…” (CONT.)

• Are we “allowed” to edit the Bible reading?

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• Often (but not always) the original Hebrew or Greek only has one noun anyway!

“Then afterward�    I will pour out my spirit on all flesh;�your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,�    your old men shall dream dreams,�    and your young men shall see visions.” – Joel 2:28�

• Old translations often just said brothers…

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL WITH BATHROOMS?

• 70% of trans people report harassment / assault in a public bathroom�
• Would you want to spend much time in a building with nowhere safe for you to pee?

CONSIDER YOUR SPACE’S BATHROOMS…

• What are the gendered bathrooms like?
• Any signage supporting gender diversity?

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• Are there any non-gendered bathrooms?
• Are they easy to find?
• Are they disability accessible?
• Is there only one?

GETTING PEOPLE �ON BOARD

• You have already shared bathrooms with trans people before

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• No unsafe groups of people; �unsafe behaviors

MORE IDEAS

• Website statement?
• Be honest!
• Who will craft it?�
• Visible non-discrimination policy?�
• Name tags with pronouns?
• Optional or mandatory?
• Options for visitors?

“If your website says nothing about transgender people I will automatically assume that you are not welcoming of transgender people.”

- Fr. Shannon Kearns

PRACTICE PRONOUNS ETIQUETTE

• Not “preferred”�
• Normalize sharing your pronouns�
• When in group situations…�
• make space, but never require

WHAT ABOUT �GENDERED GROUPS?...

• Does your church have �gendered groups?
• Long history / tradition?

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• When is it reasonable to separate genders? When is it unnecessary? �
• If you choose to have �gendered groups, how can�you make welcome clear �to trans people?�

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ALWAYS KEEP LEARNING TOGETHER

• Greeter / elder / staff training

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• Bring trans topics — our hardships and our joys! — into Sunday School classes & Bible studies, sermons…

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• Bring in trans preachers & teachers
• And not just on TDOV / during Pride Month

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• Other learning opportunities?�

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BEING AN ADVOCATE

• Keep educating yourself!�
• “Would you like me to let other staff members / other church members know?”

• What do you do when you notice transphobia or cissexism in your space?
• an usher greeting a group of people you know includes a nonbinary person as “ladies”
• someone complaining about how hard / ridiculous pronouns are

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TAKE COMMUNITY ACTION TOGETHER

• Find LGBTQA+ groups near you & reach out!
• Respond to their needs — protection at a protest? �A clothing drive? Space for a trans support group? �Shelter? Snacks? Financial support?

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• Learn about local/state laws on: bathrooms, healthcare, �name & gender marker changes, discrimination

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• Campaign, protest, vote

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• Have the hard conversations�with family & friends

Any last thoughts / questions?

Thus far: Basic 101; scripture;� practical actions��Next week: Anti-trans rhetoric;� hard conversations