Spiritual Abuse as a Universal Phenomenon

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MICHAEL D. LANGONE, PHD

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Power in Relationships

• “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” – Lord Acton
• Whenever there is a power differential in a relationship, there is a risk (p=x) that power will be abused and people will be hurt.

Power in Relationships

• Parent-Child - Yearly, referrals to state child protective services involve 6.6 million children, and around 3.2 million of those children are subject to an investigated report. (74.2 million children in U.S.)

Power in Relationships

• Spouse-Spouse – One study: 25% of women experience domestic abuse

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Power in Relationships

• Teacher-Student - The best available study suggests that about 10 percent of students suffer some form of sexual abuse during their school careers. (Slate)

Power in Relationships

• Clergy-parishioner - In the average American congregation of 400 persons, with women representing, on average, 60% of the congregation, there are, on average of 7 women who have experienced clergy sexual misconduct. (Baylor Clergy Sexual Misconduct Study)

Power in Relationships

• Psychotherapist-Client - The 1977 survey found 12 percent of male therapists and 2.6 percent of female therapists reported sex with clients; in the 1994 survey the numbers were 3.6 percent and 0.5 percent. (psy Today)

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Key Terms

• Abuse – misuse, maltreatment, injury
• Spiritual - Of, concerned with, or affecting the soul.”  “Soul” may refer to the nonmaterial aspect of a person’s existence and/or to his or her “vital core.”
• Spiritual Abuse - injury to or mistreatment of the soul, of the deepest and most intimate aspects of a person’s being.
• But sometimes “spiritual abuse” is applied to any abuse – even if minor – that is perpetrated by a religious authority. Maybe better to call this “religious abuse.”

Why Spiritual Abuse Can Hurt So Much

• The uncovered deception of evil posing as good cuts more deeply than anything save perhaps the betrayal of a loved on.

Spirituality and Religion

• Spirituality and Religion
• Sometimes both terms are used interchangeably. The general consensus regards spirituality as the broader term, encompassing religion for some, but able to stand-alone for others without attachment to a particular faith group.
• Therefore, one doesn’t have to be religious to be a victim of spiritual abuse.

Psychological Manipulation

• Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behaviors and/or perceptions of others through abusive, deceptive, or underhanded tactics. The process of manipulation involves bringing an unknowing victim under the domination of the manipulator, often using the victim to serve the manipulator’s purposes.
• Subterfuge is central to psychological manipulation.
• Nobody has ever told us that they think the local loan shark is a cult leader. “Pay up or I’ll break you kneecap” does not involve subterfuge.

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Psychological and Spiritual Abuse

The terms psychological abuse or emotional abuse  refer to harms that overlap those associated with both conceptualizations of spiritual abuse. These harms include but are not limited to: damaged self-esteem, induced dependency, impaired capacity to trust, and emotional reactions such as anger, anxiety, and depression. In some cases, one's faith in God may also be shaken.�

To a large degree, the choice of a term, psychological abuse or spiritual abuse, depends upon the framework (psychological or religious) with which the speaker/writer feels comfortable. 

Relationship to Spiritual Abuse

• Tactics of psychological manipulation are common to psychological and spiritual abuse. But some psychological manipulation may not rise to the level of abuse (e.g., sales tricks).
• If a manipulator adversely affects one’ relationship to God, spiritual abuse is an appropriate and perhaps preferred term.
• If a manipulator seriously damages a person’s ability to trust (a core part of the self), either “spiritual abuse” or “psychological abuse” may be appropriate terms.

Evaluation of Abuse Depends upon Perspective

• Ex-Legionary who became an atheist (Pastor might say, “What a shame.” Dawkins (or some secular therapists) might say, “At least something good came out of the abuse – he gave up religious superstition.”)

Evaluation of Abuse Depends upon Perspective

• Different family members may have different perspectives on the abuse a loved one suffered. These differences may demand discussion (e.g., priest sexual abuse in which one parent defends the priest while the other wants to put him in jail).

Evaluation of Abuse Depends upon Perspective

• Victims of spiritual abuse may not have healed enough to have a stable perspective from which to evaluate the abuse. They may, for example, vacillate between righteous anger at the abuser and debilitating self-blame.

Examples for Discussion

• Pastor uses a bit of “salesmanship” to persuade Mrs. Jones to organize a church social. Mrs. Jones agrees, but her resentment is just below the surface. She later leaves the church and accuses the pastor of spiritual abuse. Is all psychological manipulation inherently abusive?

Examples for Discussion

• A priest, whom everybody in the parish loves and respects, seduces a 14-year-old altar boy into having a secret, sexual relationship.

Examples for Discussion

• A psychotherapist seduces a married, female patient into having an affair. She does not regret the affair.
• Question: Is seduction inherently an act of spiritual abuse?

Examples for Discussion

• The pastor of a Pentecostal church is respectful and not at all domineering. One of the members has said things reflective of a loss of faith. The group prays over the member.
• Scenario A: The member has a powerful experience of renewed faith and thanks the other members.
• Scenario B: The member feels humiliated and betrayed and runs out of the church never to return. He says that he was spiritually abused. Is he right?
• What conditions could we change to create a scenario of clear spiritual abuse?

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Examples for Discussion

• A member of a group that newspapers have branded a “cult” approaches a young man in the library and persuades him to attend a group meeting scheduled for the weekend. Is this abuse?
• Version 1: the “cult” is a Bible-based group.
• Version 2: the “cult” is an Eastern guru group.
• Version 3: the “cult” is a political group.

Examples for Discussion

• The young man joins the group and becomes more and more involved. Assume the group’s environment is indeed cultic.
• What scenarios might result in abuse?
• Is it possible for the young man not to be abused in such a group?
• Can there be spiritual abuse in a political group?