RAISING CYBER SMART KIDS

Alejandra Alvarez, LMFT, CCTP

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CYBER SAFETY & SOCIAL MEDIA��Internet and social media use are predicted to continue to increase

Data on Screen Media

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• Use of screen media is up 17% for tweens and teens since the start of the pandemic.
• Tween (8-12y.o): average of 4hrs 44min increased to 5hrs 33min.
• Teen (13-18y.o): average 7hrs 22min increased to 8hrs 39min.
• From 2015 to 2019, total screen use among tweens increased by an average of eight minutes a day, compared to 49 minutes in the past two years.
• About half of parents of children ages 10 to 12 and 32% of parents of kids ages 7 to 9 reported their child used social media apps

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Data on Screen Media

• By demographics
• Adolescent males use more screen media than females.
• African American and Hispanic/Latino children use more screen media than their Caucasian peers.
• Tweens and Teens from low income households engage with more screen media compared to those in higher income households.

Social Media Use

• 43% of tweens own a personal device and 88% of teens own a cellphone.
• 38% of tweens report using social media compared to 83% of teens.
• 51% of teens report using at least one social media site daily.
• By popularity: Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Discord, Twitter
• Watching online videos is the leading social media activity for those aged 8-18
• By popularity: Tik Tok/Instagram, Youtube, Snapchat

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Is the internet good or bad? What about social media?

Benefits of appropriate social media/internet use

• Social media is a big part of social and creative life for pre-teens and teenagers.
• Pre-teens and teenagers use social media to have fun, make and maintain friendships, share and learn interests, explore identities and develop relationships with family.
• Social media can connect pre-teens and teenagers to online global groups based on shared interests. These might be support networks:
• for example, for young people with disability or medical conditions, LGBTIQ+ teenagers, or children from particular cultural backgrounds. Or they might be sites for commenting on and sharing content about particular interests like games, TV series, music or hobbies.

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Benefits of appropriate social media/internet use

• Learning: your child can use social media to better understand, extend or share what they’re learning at school, either informally or in formal school settings.
• Hobbies and interests: your child can use social media to follow their interests and learn new ones.
• Creativity: your child can be creative with profile pages, images, video and game modifications.
• Mental health and wellbeing: connecting with extended family and friends and taking part in local and global online groups can give your child a sense of belonging.

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THE DANGERS KIDS FACE BY GOING ONLINE

• Cyberbullying
• Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices such as cell phones, computer, tablets, and gaming consoles.
• 34 percent of kids feel they have been cyberbullied in their lifetime, and 17 percent report that it has occurred within the last 30 days.
• 64 percent of kids who have experienced cyberbullying feel it affects their ability to learn and perform in school.
• This may lead to social anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, eating disorders, and drug and alcohol abuse.

THE DANGERS OF KIDS FACE BY GOING ONLINE

• Sexual Predators
• Consider that:
• 7 percent of all statutory rape are initiated on the internet
• 1 percent of all sex crime arrests deal with a predator who met their victim online
• The FBI estimates that there are between 500,000 and 750,000 sexual predators active on the internet in any given day.
• Predators no longer need access to your children to assault/violate them:
• Pictures
• Videos
• Their own creations

I remember the first suspicious account that started following me. Nothing too weird, just a middle-aged man that had a few random images on his Instagram Grid. I was curious as to why he was following me, and was surprised to see a grown man following almost exclusively little girls; then I looked at the hashtags that he was following and I just felt SICK. #kidsswimwear, #littlegymnast, #5yearsold, #6yearsold, #littlegirls, and way more. It was all there, plain to see. Not only was this predator not hiding at ALL — he wasn’t breaking any rules.

THE DANGERS KIDS FACE BY GOING ONLINE

• Identity Theft/Cybercrime
• Most of us don’t consider children to be particularly vulnerable to identity theft, however the truth is that 1.3 million kids have their identity stolen each year.
• Explicit/violent content
• It’s believed that around 70 percent of children have encountered pornography online without searching for it.
• Additionally, 70 percent of kids admit to keeping information about their online activity a secret from their parents.

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THE DANGERS KIDS FACE BY GOING ONLINE

• Stealing images
• Predators steal legitimate images and use them for illegal purposes: fake accounts, pornography, material of a sexual nature, etc
• Information sharing
• Viral challenges
• Blue whale challenge
• Tide pods
• Cinnamon
• Swatting
• etc

Parent/Caregiver Social Media

Let’s talk about it

• Digital kidnapping
• Over sharing
• Impact of digital footprint on future
• Letting strangers into your home and your lives
• Parasocial relationships
• Stalking
• Unknown long-term effects of social media use

KEEPING YOUR KID SAFE ONLINE: �STRATEGIES TO FOLLOW

• Be involved
• Know who your kids are talking to and who they’re spending time with.
• Talk
• The most important thing you can do to protect our kids is to talk with them about the dangers that exist online. This will help our kids understand why adults are concerned.
• Stay Informed
• It’s important to stay informed about what our kids can access such as popular apps they may be using to connect with their friends such as SnapChat, Burn Note, and Line.

• Limit Screen Time

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• Enforce a policy of no phones in the bedroom after a specific time and overnight

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• Monitor Privacy Setting

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• Use Parental Control
• These are third-party apps that can be use to make it easier to keep our kids safe.

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KEEPING YOUR KID SAFE ONLINE: �STRATEGIES TO FOLLOW

• Know and understand Acronyms
• 8 Oral Sex
• 143 I love you
• 182 I hate you
• 420 Marijuana
• 1174 Nude Club
• ASL Age/Sex/Location
• CD9 Code 9/Parent are around
• FWB Friends with benefits

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• FYEO For your eyes only
• GNOC Get naked on cam
• GYPO Get your pants off
• IWSN I want sex now
• KPC Keeping parents clueless
• LMIRL Let’s meet in real life
• MOS/POS Mom over shoulder/parent
• P911 parent alert
• PIR Parent in room
• RU/18 Are you over 18?

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KEEPING YOUR KID SAFE ONLINE: �STRATEGIES TO FOLLOW

• Know the Signs
• Suddenly becoming shy or closed off about their online activity
• Refraining from using the internet in public areas
• Resisting going to school or hanging out with friends
• Changing friend groups suddenly
• Asking to do things they don’t normally do

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Be SMART

Interventions to use at home

• make sure that they don’t publish personal information like their location, email address, phone number or date of birth
• make sure your child is very careful about what images and messages they post, even among trusted friends – once they are online they can be shared widely and are extremely difficult to get removed
• encourage them to talk to you if they come across anything they find offensive or upsetting
• keep a record of anything abusive or offensive they’ve received and report any trouble to the site management - most sites have a simple reporting process, normally activated by clicking on a link on the page

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Interventions to use at home

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• make sure they're aware that publishing or sharing anything which would mean breaking a copyright agreement is illegal
• if your child makes an online friend and wants to meet up with them in real life, you should go along with them to check the person is who they say they are
• tell them to be aware of online scams – offers which seem too good to be true usually are
• encourage them not to get into any online discussions about sex as these tend to attract potentially dangerous users
• if you suspect someone may be grooming your child on a social networking site, or your child is being stalked or harassed, you should contact the police

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Power Down & Parent Up

•Power down: all screen activities provide unnatural stimulation to the nervous system and cause adverse effects.

•Electronic screen syndrome- a state of dysregulation where children lack the ability to modulate mood, attention, and/or levels of arousal in a manner appropriate to the given environment or stimulus.

•Experts believe that as children remain in a state of overstimulation and hyper arousal, they undergo stress, which contributes to irritability, depression,mood swings, tantrums, and aggression.

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Parent Up

• Parents should have the same expectations as the child.
• Prepare the family- provide a healthy balance for use of technology in the home (do not eliminate completely).
• ALWAYS designate time for your children: GIVE full attention, keep eye contact, listen, ask questions. Validate and affirm to encourage communication.

Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA)

This Act protects children's privacy by giving parents tools to control what information is collected from their children online. The Act requires the Commission to promulgate regulations requiring operators of commercial websites and online services directed to children under 13 or knowingly collecting personal information from children under 13 to: (a) notify parents of their information practices; (b) obtain verifiable parental consent for the collection, use, or disclosure of children’s personal information; (c) let parents prevent further maintenance or use or future collection of their child’s personal information; (d) provide parents access to their child’s personal information; (e) not require a child to provide more personal information than is reasonably necessary to participate in an activity; and (f) maintain reasonable procedures to protect the confidentiality, security, and integrity of the personal information. In order to encourage active industry self-regulation, the Act also includes a "safe harbor" provision allowing industry groups and others to request Commission approval of self-regulatory guidelines to govern participating websites’ compliance with the Rule.

Useful links and websites

• https://www.bark.us/
• https://www.commonsensemedia.org/
• https://safety.google/families/parental-supervision/
• https://www.cnn.com/cnn-underscored/reviews/best-parental-control-apps

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Let’s Discuss