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The Pros and Cons of a Carpeted Kitchen

An In-Depth Review

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Flooring is the foundation of any beautiful room. Start with a great carpet and the rest will fall into place

-Jane Goodall

(probably)

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Carpet noun

ˈkär-pət

a heavy often tufted fabric used as a floor covering

also : a floor covering made of this fabric

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Kitchen noun

ˈki-chən

a place (such as a room) with cooking facilities

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Section One:

Background

Slides 6-32

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Ancient Scythia

  • Eurasian Steppes of Kazakhstan
  • Horse riding pastoral nomads
  • Most males members of the genetic pool Haplogroup R1a
    • Most common genetic formation in Eurasia

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Ancient Scythia Climate

  • Literally in Kazakhstan, what do you think the weather was like?
  • On top of expected patterns, the Scythian region was also susceptible to freak climates
    • Sudden heat waves
    • Flash freezes

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Tattoo discovered on remains of Scythian

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Scythian, Specifically Pazyryk, Burial Sites

Well Preserved!

With the potential for sudden freezes, many burial sites, especially those of the Pazyryk culture(a region of Scythia), were quite well preserved, and proved ripe for the taking for all archaeologists and grave robbers alike

The First Carpet

Discovered in these afamed dig sites was the first ever recorded carpet

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Site of Pazyryk barrow 1, the first excavation location

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The Pazyryk Carpet

One of the most famous finds at the barrow 1 Pazyryk dig site was the Pazyryk carpet, the oldest known carpet in the world. Widely thought to have been made in Ancient Armenia, the carpet was made using the Armenian double knot, and has a knot density of 360,000 kpm2 (knots per square meter), which is higher than most modern carpets

Armenian double knot technique

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Close up of Pazyryk Carpet

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Carpets through the ages

Rugs have continued to be found in ancient grave sites all over the world, and offered us crucial insight to cultures of the past

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From Istanbul Carpet Museum

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Carpets through the ages

The carpet industry has grown immensely since the days of ritualistic burial sites, however. The industrial revolution led to the power loom and, more importantly, wall to wall carpeting.

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Popularity of Wall to Wall Carpeting

George Washington

As a Welcome to the Global Stage gift, common at the time, King Louis XVI of France gifted George Washington a wall to wall carpet with the United States seal on it for his estate at Mount Vernon. Unfortunately, you cannot see this carpet now, carpet connoisseur Sarah Yates Whelen purchased it for undisclosed reasons

President Gilligrass

This fictional president of Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator was such a fan of the carpeting style he even went as far as to brag about his implementation of it to other world leaders: “‘Have you noticed that all the carpets are wall to wall, Mr. Walter Wall?’ said the president” (Dahl, I can’t be bothered to find the page)

Yoh Theater

Even our own theater has fallen into the temptation of the wall to wall carpet. The sophisticated green rug covers the majority of the floor, only stopping in the way of matching green seats

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Carpet Fun Facts

Wool

While most modern carpets are made of recycled plastic, some are still made of wool.

1963

The first recorded use of the phrase sweep it under the rug was in 1963

$$$

The carpet industry in the US generates an average of $10 billion a year, with the global industry making upwards of $84 billion

77%

77% of all carpet cleaning firms in the US employ less than 5 people

65 Miles

85% of carpets made in the US are manufactured within 65 miles of Dalton, Georgia

$$$(again)

Of the roughly 26,000 people in America employed as carpet installers, almost ⅓ of them make more than $35.99 and hour

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Graph Time!

Carpet and Rug mills revenue in US, in billions

2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 2021 2022

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10

7.5

5

2.5

0

10.42

8.43

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Graph Time!

Value of carpets imported from Europe in 2017 by country, in millions of Euros

Germany

UK

France

Netherlands

Belgium

Poland

Sweden

Italy

Austria

Spain

Romania

Denmark

Slovakia

Portugal

Finland

Hungary

Ireland

Greece

Bulgaria

Croatia

Malta

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1000

750

500

250

0

1102.43

10.86

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Graph Time!

Advertising spending in the carpets and rugs industry in the US, in millions

2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019

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200

150

100

50

0

179.37

38.55

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Popularity of Carpets

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Countries reported to have at least one carpet 🟥

No data ⬜️

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3,141,592,653

Number of kitchens in the world

(approx.)*

*The above number is completely fabricated and based on almost nothing

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Kitchens From the Beginning

The First Kitchen

As defined earlier, a kitchen is a place with cooking facilities. In the ancient world, this could be as simple as a firepit. To truly understand kitchens, then, we must go to the start: the first fire.

Unfortunately, the origins of fire are hotly disputed

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More on Fire

1. 8 Million years ago? Could be

600,000 years ago? Very possible

28 years ago? Unlikely, but we should not rule it out

The species Homo erectus is thought to have existed around 1.8 million years ago, and evidence suggests they were the first evolution to create fire

Other historians debate fire was not actually utilized by creatures until Homo Neanderthals, putting fires first use closer to 600,000 years ago

There is almost no evidence fire is a mere 28 years old besides the testimony of one very confused person I asked, who probably misunderstood the question

How old IS fire?

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Timeline of fire

In retrospect, googling ‘timeline of fire’ and throwing in the first image was not the best idea, but here it is

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Fire Pit to Kitchen

Tracing basic fire pit stoves to modern kitchens was essentially impossible, but I did it anyway. To save you from a million years of boring history, here are some highlights:

This is a really old kettle from China

And this is the first ever electric kettle

Could be considered a ‘kitchen’, ancient place to prepare food

Model of potential reconstruction of old Roman kitchen

Kitchen Interior, circa 1565

From Merriam Webster's complete English Dictionary:

First Known Use of kitchen

before the 12th century, in the meaning defined at sense 1

Free Alamy Stock Photos Ancient Kitchen, circa 2013

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Medieval Kitchens

In European communal societies of medieval times, cooking was essentially done over an open fire within a one-room home or within the great hall of a larger structure. All manner of life revolved around the cooking area, which was the primary source of heat, light and safety.

Over time the general layout of the home changed and the central great hall was subdivided. The division of the great hall may sound like a minor change, however, if it hadn’t been for the invention of the chimney, this might not have happened at all.

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Chimneys!

In the Middle Ages, life centered around the always-lit open fireplace. This was made possible with the advent of chimneys. The earliest example of a chimney in England was 1185, but they were not widely used in homes until the 16th century.

While chimneys made cooking(and breathing) easier, they had some side effects. The large centerpiece in the great room effectively divided it into two rooms, making rise to the now common kitchen and living room as separate rooms.

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General Kitchen History

*It is advised the presenter goes more in depth on each bullet, using their prior knowledge*

Other factors in Kitchen Evolution:

  • Economic Factors
  • French Style
  • New Foods
  • Dinner Parties
  • New Tech
  • Cast Iron
  • Gas to Electric
  • And More!

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Kitchen Styles

Single File

Also known as one-way gallery kitchen, these have all the kitchen-y stuff on one wall. While suboptimal, this style is good when space is a concern

Double File

Also called two-way gallery, this is a very common style, with cabinets and a refrigerator along one wall and a sink, oven and more cabinets opposite to them

L-Kitchen

In this configuration, cabinets and the like occupy two adjacent walls, creating an L shape

U-Kitchen

This style sees cabinets on three walls, with the sink usually at the base of the U shape

Block Kitchen

A more recent style in the grand scheme of kitchen development, this style, also known as the Island Kitchen, sees a simple L or U kitchen in an open space with an island added to the middle. Often the sink, oven, or both are on the island

G-Kitchen

The G-Kitchen is similar to the U-Kitchen, with a partial fourth wall cabinets. Usually the sink is on this protruding fourth section. This style can be modified slightly to make a Double L-Kitchen

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$7,190-23,240

14.7%

1.000001

Average cost of remodeling a kitchen

Average portion of house taken up by kitchen

Average number of kitchens per house in USA

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Popularity of Kitchens

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Countries reported to have at least one carpet 🟥

No data ⬜️

kitcehn

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By the Numbers: Cabinet Creation

Is there money in the kitchen cabinet industry?

“It is actually really, really hard to make money.” - Jeff Finney, Cabinetist

Average stock price of every cabinet manufacturer, combined

(actually it’s just home depot)

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No!

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Section TwoPros of a Carpeted Kitchen

Slides 33-45

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Pros of a Carpeted Kitchen:

  • Comfy
  • Looks cool
  • Economical
  • Modern
  • Good for the environment
  • Feels good on your feet
  • You don’t need to wear socks
  • Hidden snacks for later
  • Never have to vacuum it
  • Floor is not cold
  • Soak up spills
  • Tye-Dye if you spill enough
  • Prevents falling while holding knives
  • Slip resistant
  • Foot support
  • Warm feet in winter time
  • Safer(in case you fall)
  • Adds color to your kitchen
  • Objectively better than linoleum
  • Has deep historical roots
  • Eggs won’t break if you drop them
  • Status symbol
  • Increases the value of your house
  • Matches your living room!
  • Flammable(you can make smores if your house catches on fire)
  • Friends will think you’re cool
  • Less uncomfortable to sit on
  • Decreased blood pressure
  • Cures depression
  • Clears skin
  • Good for arthritis
  • Improves cooking skills
  • “Tastier”
  • Easy access
  • Talk of the town
  • No longer have to clean the litter box
  • No known downsides
  • Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet
  • consectetur adipiscing elit
  • sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua
  • Ut enim ad minim veniam
  • quis nostrud exercitation
  • ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip
  • ex ea commodo consequat
  • Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate
  • velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur
  • Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident
  • sunt in culpa qui officia
  • deserunt mollit anim id est laborum
  • Comodo
  • Sembra fico
  • Economico
  • Moderno
  • Buono per l'ambiente
  • È bello con la tua sensazione
  • Non è necessario indossare calzini
  • Snack nascosti per dopo
  • Non è mai necessario aspirarlo
  • Il pavimento non è freddo
  • Immergere
  • Tye-dye se si versa abbastanza
  • Impedisce la caduta mentre si tiene i coltelli
  • Supporto ai piedi
  • Anelli di nozze calde in inverno
  • Più sicuro (nel caso in cui cadi)
  • Aggiungi colore alla tua cucina
  • Oggettivamente meglio di Linoleum
  • Ha radici storiche profonde
  • Le uova non si romperanno se le lasci cadere
  • Aumenta il valore della tua casa
  • Combina il tuo soggiorno!
  • Infiammabile (puoi ammorbidire se la tua casa prende fuoco)
  • Gli amici penseranno di essere fighi
  • Sessione meno scomoda
  • Diminuzione della pressione sanguigna
  • Cures depressione
  • Elimina la pelle
  • Buono per l'artrite
  • Migliora le capacità di cucina
  • "Gustier"
  • Facile accesso
  • Parla della città
  • Non è più necessario pulire la lettiera
  • Nessun aspetto negativo noto
  • Meudaich an luach dachaigh agad
  • Cuir còmhla riut gus fuireach!
  • Seallaidh caraidean dhaibh fionnar
  • Brat-ùrlair cho mì-chofhurtail
  • Lùghdachadh ann am bruthadh-fala
  • Leigheasan cungaidh-leigheis
  • Cuir às don chraiceann
  • Ruigsinneachd furasta
  • Bruidhinn mu dheidhinn baile-mòr
  • Chan eil feum air a bhith a 'glanadh an sgudal
  • Math airson Aritis
  • A 'leasachadh sgilean còcaireachd
  • Chan eil fios air taobhan àicheil sam bith

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Carpeted Kitchens in History:

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Former President Abraham Lincoln wanted to install carpet in the White House kitchen. However, he changed his mind when his wife convinced him to spend the excess money on theater tickets instead.

Fun Fact:

Adolf Hitler hated carpeted kitchens. That means they must be good!

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SWOT Analysis of a Carpeted Kitchen

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STRENGTHS

Very comfy

WEAKNESSES

None

You won’t need to wear shoes in the kitchen anymore

OPPORTUNITIES

People will get jealous and may try to steal your house

THREATS

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Peak Society

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Carpeted Kitchen

Kitchen

Carpet

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Three steps to success

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Carpet your kitchen®

Buy some carpet

Buy a kitchen

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Carpeted kitchens bring ME joy. They are the greatest invention since filing cabinets

-Marie Kondo

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Did You Know?

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Carpeted Kitchens are mentioned twice in the Bible:

“So when they got out on the land, they saw a charcoal fire already laid and fish placed on it, and bread, and a floor of carpet

  • John 21:9

“The people would go about and gather it and grind it between two millstones or beat it in the mortar, and boil it in the pot and, as they walked about their carpet, make cakes with it; and its taste was as the taste of cakes baked with oil.”

  • Numbers 11:8

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And More!

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Carpeted Kitchens are also mentioned in the instruction manual for Ikea item 3-B4OP093-76-EH12, KALLAX 30 ⅜ X 57 ⅞” Shelf Unit, Walnut Effect Light Gray:

provided, or on a carpeted kitchen floor

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What Type of Carpet Fits Your Kitchen Needs?

  • Cotton is a natural fiber that forms a comfortable rug that can be washed if small enough. But cotton isn’t stain-resistant and doesn’t withstand heavy traffic like other rug materials. Kitchens with less foot traffic and spills are best suited for this fabric.
  • Polyester rugs are stain, mildew, and mold-resistant, and soft underfoot. They aren’t as robust as nylon or other fabrics, so they may not be suitable for a high-traffic kitchen.
  • Nylon makes a tough, stain-resistant rug ideal for the kitchen, but you have to keep in mind that not all nylon fibers are created equal, so don’t settle for the first one you see. Inexpensive nylon fibers will certainly wear out faster than higher quality nylon fibers.
  • Consider a polypropylene kitchen rug for a low-cost option that can be easily cleaned with a hose. Polypropylene, also known as BCF, is stain resistant because to its waterproof strands.

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I loved my carpeted kitchen that was in Buckingham Palace located at

51° 30' 5.3136'' N, 0° 8' 26.2824'' W!

What a peaceful final resting place!

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Section ThreeCons of a Carpeted Kitchen

Slide 47

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Cons of a Carpeted Kitchen:

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The End

Click to add subtitle

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Venmo: Dannys-money

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Sources:

  • I made it all up