College Application Boot Camp

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Day 3: The College Essay

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Class of 2025

Lee Kaplan

Office Hours: Monday-Wednesday

Warren Morishige

Office Hours:

Wednesday-Friday

Types of Essays/ Personal Statements

• Cal State University (CSU)
• No essay (unless applying for EOP)

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• University of California (UC)
• Personal Insight Questions: 4 PIQs
• EOP, if applying for it

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• Private and Out-of-State Colleges
• Common Application: 1 Essay
• Supplemental Essays: Depends upon the college

Application Type Determines Essay Type

UC Personal Insight Questions (PIQs)

8 questions: You choose 4

350 word maximum for each

Not traditional essays

UC PIQs: Choose 4

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

UC PIQ: Not Your Traditional Essay

• Each PIQ is targeted to a single topic
• In 4 PIQs, you should be able to bring out at least 4 personal qualities/personality traits

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• There are no paragraph breaks when the PIQ is read, even if you include them
• Avoid poetry

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• Get right to the point
• 1-2 sentences for an introductory context
• 0-1 sentences for the conclusion

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• On average, admission readers will spend 8-12 minutes on your entire application
• Being clear and direct in your writing is important

Common App Essay

• 7 Prompts: you pick 1 to write

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• 650 word maximum

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• Similar to UC Personal Insight Questions in terms of general essay writing hints and showing who you are

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• But some differences from the PIQs:

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• More traditional format with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion

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• Allows for more styles of writing, creativity, and storytelling

Common App Essay Prompts: Choose 1

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

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Common App Essay Challenge #1

• Go beyond just directly answering the prompt: explore your response more deeply and on more levels

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• Consider how personal qualities can overlap
• leadership
• creativity
• talent/skill
• challenge
• passion for academic subject
• community service

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A single essay to include multiple personal qualities about yourself

Common App Essay Challenge #2

If every college you are applying to has a supplemental essay on background/identity, then

… consider not using Prompt 1 for your Common App essay

OR

… use the supplemental essay to provide more context, or a deeper exploration of part of your background/identity, etc.

Prompt 1 similarity to some supplemental essay questions:

1. “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

Supplemental Essays

• Some colleges require the writing of their own essay topics in addition to the 1 Common App essay
• Why? They want to make sure you are applying to them because you really want to attend

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• If a college asks why you are interested in their college, do your research
• Name specific majors, programs, professors, clubs, etc, that have prompted you to apply

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• Answer supplemental essay questions very directly
• A college will often have an institutional goal or culture that they are trying to build upon
• Example: collaborative learning to break stereotypes in a STEM-focused college

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• If a college has optional supplemental essays, you should do them
• Use the opportunity to add more dimensions about yourself to your application

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• If you are applying to highly selective colleges, take a risk on something unique to you, even if you find it difficult to write. Playing it safe won’t help you stand out in a competitive applicant pool.

CSU Apply EOP

The Educational Opportunity Program (EOP) is not considered in your admission to a Cal State University; if you are accepted to the CSU, then you have the potential to be a part of EOP

There are 5 biographical questions to answer and each can be a maximum of 2500 characters, which is about 400-500 words.

Questions?

The College Admission Office Perspective

How your college application is read

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Beginning to end

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Building toward a “yes”

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Holistic reading

„We don’t want an entire incoming class of well-rounded students. We want a bunch of pointy, angular students.“

–Dean of Admission at one of most selective colleges in the country

“Pointy, angular students”

• Worry less about being well-rounded, and instead, express your individual personality and bring out your whole self

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• If the college application includes an essay section, the college is looking to accept an interesting, varied incoming class

• Each college will have its own angle on what is “interesting and varied”

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• Every part of the application can help bring out your whole self
• Academics, extracurriculars, essays
• But also identity, geography, family, community, and more

How colleges find “pointy, angular students”

High School Context

Community Context

Individual Context

“A Compelling Read”

• Admission reader lingo for an essay which brings out the unique, individual personality and context of a student in a deep and meaningful manner

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• There is no formula for how to do this, because then it would no longer be unique to one student

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• “Compelling” occurs across a range: some writing is more compelling than others

“Missed Opportunity”

• Admission reader lingo for something a student mentions briefly, but does not explain more fully.

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• The admission reader wishes that the applicant had written more about something, because they cannot make assumptions based upon limited information.

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• A missed opportunity never hurts an application, but it doesn’t help move it toward a “yes” either.

“Value Added”

• Admission reader lingo for anything in an application which moves it toward a “yes” decision

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• In coursework, value added might be multiple honors/AP classes

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• In essays, “a compelling read” leads to “value added”

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• Value added depends upon a student’s context and holistic reading
• Two applications from two students from two different high schools might receive value added for different reasons

Activity: If you were a college admission officer…

…what would you learn about this student in the PIQ you are about to read?

Essay Writing Hints

Write about your many layers and depths

• Show multiple dimensions about who you are

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• Specifics are always better than generalities

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• Find the balance between showing your multiple dimensions and being specific enough

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• Focus on your high school years

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• Use your own writing voice and style

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If the rest of the application has mostly data about you, what can you say in your college essays that bring out your individuality, personality, and life context?

A few things to avoid

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Avoid too much background information

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Avoid repeating information elsewhere in the application

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Avoid writing what you think colleges want to hear

Writing about yourself is difficult

• First draft: don’t worry about the word count or form, but rather use as many words as necessary to define who you are

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• Don’t write about other people or events as a way to avoid writing about you

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• Writing is a process: you won’t nail it with only one draft, so be open and ready to explore different angles and approaches

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• Ask friends or family members what they see as your main personality traits

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• Writing about you means only you can decide when you are done with your essay

The most common question we get:

“What are colleges looking for?”

• We already answered this!

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• If there were a formula to write a college essay, then everyone would write the same essay

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• Is a formulaic student appealing to the college admissions officer?

End of affirmative action in college admissions

If you feel like you identify with a racial group being overrepresented in college admissions:

• Do not overtly mention your racial identity
• College admission officers cannot assume you are of any identity unless you mention it in an essay or activity description

Whatever your position is on this, the reality is that college admission offices are still interested in finding ways to create an interesting and varied incoming class

If you feel like you identify with a racial group being underrepresented in college admissions:

• Include your identity in an essay or activity description
• Consider writing about the impact of your identity on your life: challenges, culture, family, etc
• Write beyond stereotypes

Should I use AI to write my college essay?

Will you sound genuine in your essay?

Will you be able to bring out your depth of personality?

What if you are caught?

Not Sure Where to Start on Your Essays?

We can interview you and direct you to essay topics

Essay Writing Help

• Send to Mr Warren OR Ms Kaplan, and avoid too many readers
• Share a Google Doc with us and provide some context if you wish
• In Scoir, enter the colleges you are applying to as a way to give us context on the colleges you are considering
• Consider sending us one (1) UC PIQ for feedback to make sure you are on track
• Maximum of 2 reads per PIQ/essay (if you start early)

College Essay Writing Resources

UC PIQs:

Brainstorming Guide here

Common App Essays:

writing requirements by college here

UC PIQs here

Common App here

Start your essay writing now!

• Be open to honest feedback

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• If you are applying early action/early decision:
• Prioritize your Common Application personal statement over the UC PIQs

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• If you are not applying early:
• Aim to finish your PIQs by the end of October
• Then work on your Common App personal statement

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• “I am done writing my essays. Can you review them one last time”
• Are you prepared to rewrite it?

Questions?

Today’s Work Period

01

Choose Prompts for Essays, Start Writing!

02

Group Interview for Essay Topics

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Work from Previous Bootcamp Sessions