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GASLIGHTING

RESOURCES TO KNOW IF YOU ARE BEING GASLIT, AND TO IDENTIFY STRATEGIES THAT MIGHT BE USED AGAINST YOU.

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QUESTIONS TO ASK

IS IT MANIPULATIVE?
IS IT INTENTIONAL (EVEN IF UNCONSCIOUSLY)?
IS IT A PROCESS (AS OPPOSED TO AN INCIDENT)?
IS THERE A POWER DIFFERENTIAL?

IF THE ANSWER IS “YES” TO THESE QUESTIONS, THE FOLLOWING RESOURCES WILL HELP YOU IDENTIFY POTENTIAL STRATEGIES THAT MIGHT BE USED AGAINST YOU.

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STRATEGY MAP

READ THE “OVERVIEW OF STRATEGIES”
CONSIDER EACH STRATEGY AND WHETHER IT APPLIES TO YOUR SITUATION
USE THE ”GASLIGHTING STRATEGY MAP” TO RECORD DETAILS AND INCIDENTS WHEN IT WAS USED AGAINST YOU

NAMING AND ACKOWLEDGING THESE STRATEGIES CAN HELP US TO TRUST OUR OWN SENSE WHEN SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT. IT CAN ALSO HELP US IDENTIFY FUTURE SITUATIONS WHERE WE’RE AT RISK FOR ABUSE.

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OVERVIEW OF STRATEGIES

WITHHOLDING- Not listening and/or pretending not to understand victim

“I’m not going to sit here and listen to this”
“You are not making any sense”

FORGETTING/DENYING - Questioning victim’s memories and recollections

“You never remember things correctly”
“I don’t know what you are talking about”

TRIVIALIZING - Calling the victim irrational or telling them they are making a bigger deal out of something than it really is

“You are being too emotional”
“You are too sensitive”
“You make a big deal out of everything”
“You are overreacting/exaggerating”
“It was just a joke” or “you can’t take a joke”

DISCREDITING - Attacking the credibility of the victim rather than acknowledging the content of their argument. Starting untrue rumors.

Projecting their own behavior onto the victim— ex. Accusing them of cheating when the perpetrator is the one cheating
“You are crazy”
“You are irrational”
“You are making this up”
“You are a liar”

DIVERSION - Shifting Blame/Victim-blaming

“If you wouldn’t have _____ then I wouldn’t have _____”

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SITUATION

DIVERSION

WITHHOLDING

FORGETTING/

DENYING

TRIVIALIZING

DISCREDITING