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Helping Your Child Thrive: Managing Behaviors, Emotions, & Executive Functioning

Brittney Mayes, LMHC

Northwell Cohen Children’s Behavioral Health Center

SEPTA Presentation

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Session Overview

  • What to expect at a BHC visit
  • Executive functioning
  • Managing behaviors at home
  • Co-regulation
  • Fostering independence & responsibility
  • Practical strategies

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Understanding the Adolescent Brain:�Your child’s brain is a construction zone, not a finished product. �

Prefrontal Cortex

    • “The Thinking Brain”
    • Responsible for logic, judgment, planning, impulse control & decision making
    • Not fully mature until ~25 years old

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Amygdala

    • “The Feeling Brain”
    • Emotional centers develop faster than reasoning centers
    • Controls stress responses and emotional intensity/reactivity

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Important Brain Chemicals

    • Dopamine
    • Serotonin

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Summary of Key Emotional Development Stages:

Age Range

Emotional Development Focus

0-2 years

Developing attachment and basic emotional responses

2-6 years

Learning basic emotional regulation and social cues; beginning of empathy

6-12 years

Developing self-concept, friendships, and coping skills

12-18 years

Identity development, emotional intensity, and peer influence

18-25 years

Refining emotional regulation and coping strategies, forming intimate relationships

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What is Executive Functioning?

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Executive Functioning Skills

Celebrate progress, not perfection!

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Working Memory

  • Maintain eye contact when communicating
  • Routine and consistency
  • “Repeat-Back” games: say 3 simple instructions and have them repeat before doing
  • First🡪 then language
  • Use visual supports
    • Schedules
    • Checklist
    • Timer

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Organization & Planning

  • Keep routines predictable
  • Use a “must do/could do” list to learn how to prioritize
  • Color coding and labeling items
  • “Homes” for items and designated spaces for tasks
  • Time management strategies
  • Ask guiding questions
    • What is the goal?
    • What do we need?
    • What should we do first?

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Emotion Regulation, Impulse Control & Self Monitoring

  • Think before acting/reacting
  • Identify warning signs, triggers and coping skills
  • Create body awareness
  • Model appropriate responses
  • Provide clear and consistent rules/boundaries
  • Ask reflective questions
    • How do you think that went?
    • What could we try next time?

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Build Emotional Vocabulary

Thoughts 🡪 Feelings 🡪 Behavior

Avoid blaming!

Use I statements- “I feel ____ when_____”

Normalize mixed feelings

Validation

Use everyday moments to label feelings

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Example Coping Skills:

Breathing techniques

Grounding techniques

Meditation

Physical activity

Positive affirmations

Journal

Stop, Think, Act

Communication notebook

DBT TIPP skill

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DBT TIPP SKILL

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Co-Regulation: �Regulating Ourselves First

Emotion Regulation: The ability to recognize, understand, & manage our emotional responses to situations

Parents emotional regulation = foundation for effective parenting

“your calm helps regulate their storm"

Be a role model for how you want them to be

Avoid power struggles, use respectful tones

Connection before correction

Repair after rupture

"I" Statements

Seek support when needed

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Managing Behaviors at Home

Be flexible where possible, firm when necessary

Clear expectations + predictable consequences = security

Boundaries show love & respect for both sides

Explain why rules exist

Replace judgment with curiosity

Teens are going to test limits, its part of development

Logical/natural consequences

Highlight positive behavior

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Therapeutic Approaches to Independence

  • Use scaffolding: give support initially, fade over time
  • Teach problem-solving steps: stop → think → choose → try
  • Celebrate effort rather than outcome

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Why Independence Matters:

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  • Builds competence & confidence
  • Reduces anxiety
  • Supports resilience
  • Encourages intrinsic motivation

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Scaffolding Independence

I do → you watch

I do → you help

You do → I help

You do → I watch

Independent practice

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Putting It All Together:

Consistency and predictability reduce overwhelm

Co-regulation builds emotional resilience

Independence grows from supported practice

Executive functioning improves with structured tools and routines

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Ratliff, E. L., Morris, A. S., Cui, L., Jespersen, J. E., Silk, J. S., & Criss, M. M. (2023). Supportive parent–adolescent relationships as a foundation for adolescent emotion regulation and adjustment. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, Article 1193449.

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Mahfoud, Z. R., Al-Lawati, N., Al-Lamki, L., & Al-Farsi, Y. (2021). The association of parental involvement with adolescents’ well-being in Oman: Evidence from the 2015 Global School Health Survey. BMC Psychology, 9, Article 175.

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Zheng, Y., Chen, X., & Lin, W. (2023). Daily associations between parent–adolescent relationship quality and life satisfaction: The moderating role of emotion dysregulation. Journal of Adolescence, 95, 101–112.

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Parenting dimensions/styles and emotion dysregulation in childhood and adolescence: A systematic review and meta-analysis. (2022). Current Psychology, 42, 18798–18822.

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Life Skills Advocate. (2020, September 19). What Age Does Executive Functioning Develop?

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