Unit 1 Essay Results
with score breakdowns, trends, and next steps
1.5-2.0
2.5-3.0
3.5-4.0
4.5-5.0
5.5-6.0
6.5-7.0
7.5-8.0
Unit 1 Essay Results
Diagnostic Average
3.62
8
10
16
39
15
9
13
26
28
8
New Average:
5.71
Period-by-Period Breakdown
| Thesis | Evid/Comm | Lang/Pres | # of S/C’s | Total |
2nd | | | | | |
6th | | | | | |
8th | | | | | |
0.97
0.92
0.95
3.17
3.02
3.34
1.71
1.56
1.63
2
1
6
5.88
5.52
6.03
2nd: 61.9% growth
8th: 59.1% growth
6th: 62.3% growth
The Victories!
Higher-scoring on every front from last year, not only in overall average but also in # of essays reaching sophistication-level despite a shorter story (i.e. less to work with)
Ridiculously-high turn-in percentage, including those who had approved extensions who also got all of theirs turned in at the agreed-to time! Level of ownership and professionalism off the charts with this group!
Focus on analysis and theme as strong as ever, with very few falling into the most common “traps” of these essays: the “summary trap” and the “lack of theme” trap—great discipline and attention-to-detail here!
Novelty of interpretation was also fantastic! That so many individuals arrived at so many interpretations of the same story speaks to your unique perspectives and the confidence to follow those authentic paths!
Trend #1: Failure to Specifically Explain Evidence
These essays would provide a piece of evidence—often a long one—and then jump right to the next thing without specifically explaining its meaning.
EXAMPLE: The blue afghan is directly compared to myriad of things: “It was a cloak, many-colored, impenetrable, sweat-and-blood-stained, a flag, a quilt, now woven from the silken thread of spiderwebs” (Besh 2) These metaphors have more intense and cynical connotations and represent the hardships that the blanket, and what it represents has been through.
To improve on this: make sure to analyze precise words/phrases from the evidence before moving on to broader analysis in your body paragraphs.
Trend #2: Failure to Connect E/T’s to Theme
These essays would observe an element/technique— sometimes with explanation, too—but then would fail to directly tie that E/T to the thesis.
EXAMPLE: Additionally, in the later part of the story, situational irony is used to explain that the afghan was not only a blanket but so many other things, such as when it starts to describe the many positions the afghan took: “It was a cloak, many-colored, impenetrable, sweat-and-blood-stained, a flag, a quilt, now woven from the silken thread of spiderwebs”(2). The afghan was used for many other things which gave it more value and appreciation to the family, furthermore creating serenity. The author goes on to say that “It was this and none of this” (16). This exhibits the idea that although it was an object, it is so much more than that. The afghan is used to create connections between the family, which makes serenity in the household.
To improve on this: don’t just connect to theme at the end, but connect the element/technique and the author’s choice in using it back to the theme explicitly
Trend #3: Thesis Drift
The theme established in the thesis statement (or even elements and techniques) are abandoned later on without any revision to the original thesis.
EXAMPLE 1: Anna Besh used symbolism, imagery and juxtaposition, while also using chronological order to convey how… (this essay doesn’t mention chronological order at all)
EXAMPLE 2: to convey how love spreads to positively support people, but its spread can be ineffective if the recipients are indifferent to it… (this essay goes on to get to a universal, even metaphysical level of love—but never goes back and refines thesis)
To improve on this: once you finish your essay, always go back to your thesis and re-read to make sure you have fully aligned with what you ended up writing
Trend #4: Textual Evidence Mishandling
The three most common mistakes were forgetting the colon and/or adding on your own writing when you should have began a new paragraph.
EXAMPLE 1: Roses are very prevalent in this story and are an example of that symbolism. “Years ago, in the rose garden, his hands on a woman’s dress” (2).
EXAMPLE 2: In the beginning of the story the first person perspective is made clear and the narrator begins telling her story: “...hands that pressed alcohol on my scrapes like holy water-caught there in the act of betrayal” (1), showing how she respected her father at first and explained that he was loving towards the narrator.
To improve on this: review notes and examples with colons, and also make sure to avoid the “tacking on” of extra evidence or your own writing.
Trend #5: Lack of Revision and/or Reaching Out
Which Trend Do You Think Got You?
Reflect individually—and then we will pair-share debrief!
On Thursday and Friday