BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS WITH STUDENTS AND SETTING EXPECTATIONS ON DAY 1
�JEFF LAFLAMME, M.ED./EBD
JLAFLAMME@SCHOOLHOUSESERVICES.ORG
�
Father, thank You for Godly teachers in our schools. Bless them, Lord, and help them to be encouraged today, just knowing that they are making a difference in so many lives. As this new school year begins, Lord, I ask that You wrap Your loving arms around them and give them grace, patience, love and wisdom for their best school year yet. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.
Adapted from Heavenly Humor for the Teacher’s Soul (Barbour Books 2011)
About me:
Undergrad in Management/Economics
Corporate life: UPS, RJR Corp,
Fidelity Investments
US Navy Veteran
Married to Natalie and have 2 daughters
Education life: Substitute Teacher, Paraprofessional, Special Ed Teacher/Case Manager, Masters Degree in Special Ed/EBD, Adjunct Professor, Student Teacher Supervisor, and Educational Consultant
SREILXALTEITOTNESRHISPS
Every child needs a champion!
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY
You hear about a student coming to your class in the fall.
Word on the street is that he (or she) is tough,
always in trouble, talks back, rude, rarely prepared.
The student has been disciplined by previous teachers and administrators. Other kids don’t like him because they say he is a bully.
You hear that the parents don’t know how
to control him and you place the
blame on the parents.
He has bad grades.
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA
How do you greet this student on the first day of school?
What are your preconceived thoughts of this student?
Are you hypervigilant watching every move he/she makes?
Are you concerned about his/her next move?
Are you ready to pounce when he/she does something wrong?
How do you feel about having this
student in your class?
How do you think
they feel?
“Kids do well IF they can.”
“Understanding why a kid
is challenging is the first
and most important part of
helping him/her.”
Ross Greene, “Lost at School”
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC
Positive student relationships are fundamental to success.
When students feel supported, they’re more likely to engage in learning and have better academic outcomes.
Plus, when students have positive interactions with teachers, they have fewer behavioral problems.
The brain science: Positive relationships are built on positive interactions. Each of these interactions has a powerful effect on the brain. When you authentically praise a student or have a positive interaction, the student’s brain releases dopamine.
(Dopamine is known as the “feel-good” hormone. It makes you happy. It also gives you the motivation to do something when you're feeling happy. Dopamine is part of your reward system.)
https://www.understood.org/
2. Positive relationships create safe spaces for learning.
The brain science: Social activities like talking and laughing cause the body to release the hormone oxytocin. This helps us to bond with others. Those bonds create a feeling that’s often called “psychological safety.” When students feel psychologically safe, they’re more likely to participate in class discussions, ask questions, try to do an assignment even when it’s hard, or talk in a tone of voice that’s appropriate for the situation.
(Oxytocin: known as the love hormone)
https://www.understood.org/
3. Positive relationships improve student behavior.
The brain science: Research supports the idea that early relationships and interactions, including those with teachers and school staff, play a central role in shaping children’s behavior and social skills. Whether you know it or not, your students are likely mirroring your behaviors. Your words and actions matter.
https://www.understood.org/
What can I do to build positive relationships?
Focus on more positive interactions than negative interactions.
Researchers recommend having five positive interactions for every one negative interaction.
Positive interactions could include:
greeting students by name as they arrive
giving praise for hard work (praise in public, admonish in private)
asking about a student’s pet or hobbies
wishing them a happy birthday
Or simply ask, “how you doin?” (channel your inner Joey Tribbiani)
AND, Provide a solid structure, with boundaries and expectations! KIDS need structure!
EXPECT THE BEST OF ALL YOUR STUDENTS!
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC
A classroom without expectations:
A classroom with expectations:
Make a list of the expectations
you want to have in your
classroom on Day 1
of this school year.
Expectations should be reasonable, attainable, and agreeable to all students.
Collaborate with students to create the list.
Review the expectations every day, every class for the first week of school.
Then review them at least once a week.
When someone is not compliant, simply point to the list.
Let’s practice by making a list of expectations!
BE THE EXAMPLE YOU WANT YOUR STUDENTS TO BE!
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC
“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them—every day begin the task anew.”
St. Francis de Sales—bishop, educator, renowned Catholic Reformation figure and Doctor of the Church
“Make it your mission to make someone else’s day better!”
Rob Dial Jr.
Resources
Ross Greene: Lost at School
Trynia Kaufman, MS: Building positive relationships with students: What brain science says (https://www.understood.org)
Donna Hicks: Dignity and Leading with Dignity
Rita Pierson Ted Talk
Jeff LaFlamme, Schoolhouse Services
jlaflamme@schoolhouseservices.org
Thank you!