How Writing Works

V. Information Flow II

Last time:

• Writing is about moving from one point to the next point to the next point.
• Good writing moves between points clearly, purposefully, and efficiently.
• A sentence has two functions: to establish given information and to provide new information.
• In a simple sentence, the subject establishes given information; the object establishes new information.
• Good writing removes all the words that contribute little to the purpose or main idea.
• We should strive to arrange words and sentences in a deliberate order.

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Pronouns

• My pronouns: he/him
• You can refer to me in a few different ways.
• 1. Proper noun: “Aaron”
• 2. Subject Pronoun: He
• 3. Object Pronoun: Him
• I saw Aaron getting crossed up.
• Aaron was not available. He was in the middle of a HWW meeting when you called.
• Aaron was grateful. I gave him a gift for his birthday.

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What is a pronoun and its use?

• A pronoun is a word that substitutes for a noun.
• We should use pronouns to avoid repeating the same noun over and over.
• We use pronouns in both conversation and writing.
• Using pronouns increases efficiency and reduces redundancy.

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Pronoun Types

Subject Pronoun:

I

You

He

She

It

We

You

They

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Object Pronoun:

Me

You

Him

Her

It

Us

You

Them

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Possessive Pronoun:

Me

You

Him

Her

It

Us

You

Them

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Demonstrative Pronouns:

That

This

These

Those

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Margaret: Mr. Wilson, meet Dr. Edward Smith.

Mr. Wilson: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Smith.

Dr. Smith: Nice to meet you, too.

Margaret: Dr. Smith is an economist. He just finished writing a book on international trade.

Margaret: Mr. Wilson, meet Dr. Edward Smith.

Mr. Wilson: It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Smith.

Dr. Smith: Nice to meet you, too.

Margaret: Dr. Smith is an economist. He just finished writing a book on international trade.

Margaret: Mr. Wilson, meet Dr. Edward Smith.

Mr. Wilson: It’s a pleasure to meet Dr. Smith, Dr. Smith.

Dr. Smith: Nice to meet Mr. Wilson, too.

Margaret: Dr. Smith is an economist. Dr. Smith just finished writing a book on international trade.

Why do these pronouns work?

We’ve already met Stanley Goldfarb — he’s the first word of the sentence. There’s no need to stop and think about a new person!

There’s no confusion over who “he” or “him” or “his” refers to.

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Stanley Goldfarb died and his relatives and the congregation gathered for an evening of prayers and mourning. When the time came for the mourners to come up and eulogize him, no one stirred. After several minutes, the rabbi was getting anxious. “Someone must have something nice to say about him,” he implored. More silence. Finally, a voice piped up from the back of the room. “His brother was worse”.

But what if it’s unclear to whom/what the pronoun refers to?

• Pronouns, while extremely useful, can be confusing at times.
• They are unspecific.
• When more than one noun in a sentence has the same pronoun, the pronoun could refer to either noun.

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• Who was cold?

Tyler Hartenstein and JaMychal Harden stepped outside in the freezing rain. He was cold!

Possible nouns “they” refers to

One solution: use a more specific word than a pronoun!

Most schools at the time of the survey included a sort of jail used to discipline children. They were rickety and run-down, often to the point of being fire risks.

Most schools at the time of the survey included a sort of jail used to discipline children. They were rickety and run-down, often to the point of being life-threatening hazards.

Most schools at the time of the survey included a sort of jail used to discipline children. Many of the buildings were rickety and run-down, often to the point of being life-threatening hazards.

Fix the ambiguous pronoun of this sentence

Guilt, vengeance, and bitterness can be emotionally destructive to you and your children. You must get rid of them.

Guilt, vengeance, and bitterness can be emotionally destructive to you and your children. You must get rid of these feelings.

Fix the ambiguous pronoun of this sentence

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The driver had a narrow escape, as a broken board penetrated his cabin and just missed his head. This had to be removed before he could be released.

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The driver had a narrow escape, as a broken board penetrated his cabin and just missed his head. The board had to be removed before he could be released.

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Never abuse the ambiguity of pronouns!

• A common pitfall is to use pronouns to cover up vague connections between sentences.
• The most commonly abused pronouns are “it” and “this”; both can refer to objects abstractly. But good writing refers to objects concretely.

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You need to check out the latest round in the clash between “prescriptivist” and “descriptivist” theories of language. This controversy was ginned up again this month by The New Yorker, which has something of a history with the bogus battle.

You need to check out the latest round in the clash between “prescriptivist” and “descriptivist” theories of language. This was ginned up again this month by The New Yorker, which has something of a history with the bogus battle.

Passive Voice

• Recall: a normal sentence is one where the subject is at the start, establishing old information, and the object is at the end, providing new information.
• This type of sentence is in active voice: when the subject carries out an action (a verb) to the object.
• Most sentences should be in active voice, but some may need to be in passive voice.
• The passive voice allows a writer to postpone the mention of a subject, keeping the focus on the thing that is being acted upon, rather than the doer itself.
• Example: She was bitten.
• Or: She was bitten by a bug.

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Active voice in this paragraph: bad

Passive voice in this paragraph: good

Next Class: 2/13

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Topic: Info flow III

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