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CONFLICT RESOLUTION & DE-ESCALATION TECHNIQUES

UH Mānoa Department of Public Safety

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AGENDA

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Precipitating factors and signs of agitation

Verbal and nonverbal de-escalation techniques

Ending de-escalation

How to ask someone to leave

Dealing with difficult people

Debriefing

Example scenarios (will take feedback from participants)

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DE-ESCALATION TECHNIQUES

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Reasoning with an angry person is not possible. The first and only objective of de-escalation is to reduce the level of agitation so that discussion becomes possible.

De-escalation techniques are inherently abnormal. They go against our natural ‘fight or flight’ reflexes. To be effective, we must remain calm and centered. We need to be professionally detached. Therefore these skills require practice to become useful.

There are two key concepts to remember:

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PRECIPITATING FACTORS

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Loss of personal power

Need to maintain self-esteem

Fear

Failure

Seeking attention

Displaced anger

Psychological or physiological causes

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SIGNS OF AGITATION

Verbal

  • Raised voice
  • Rapid speech
  • High-pitched voice
  • Disruptive behavior (yelling, bullying)

Non-Verbal

  • Balled fists
  • Fidgeting
  • Shaking
  • Erratic movements
  • Wild gesturing
  • Pacing
  • Aggressive posture (“rooster stance”)

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THE COMMUNICATION EQUATION

40% of the message: What you hear

• Tone of voice

• Vocal clarity

• Verbal expressiveness

50% of the message: What you see

• Facial expression

• Dress and grooming

• Posture/body language

• Eye contact

• Gestures

ONLY 10% of the message: Your words!

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NON-VERBAL TECHNIQUES

Model these non-verbal behaviors:

  • Control your breathing
  • Control your voice (volume and tone)
  • Control your body language
  • Control your vocabulary

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REMEMBER: Calm is just as contagious as fear or panic

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NON-VERBAL TECHNIQUES

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Appear Calm and self-assured

Select an appropriate location

Maintain limited eye contact

Maintain a neutral facial expression

Maintain an alert posture

Keep your hands to yourself

Speak soothingly

Position yourself for safety

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NON-VERBAL TECHNIQUES

Simple Listening Skills

  • Listen
  • Nod
  • Do not interrupt (unless necessary)
  • Let them vent
  • Allow for silence (even if it seems awkward)

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VERBAL TECHNIQUES

Remember: communication is key!

  • Focus on calming
  • Use a soft, slow and low tone of voice
  • Do not interrupt, unless necessary
  • Do not get defensive even if insults are directed at you
  • Choose your words carefully
  • Understand what you are allowed and not allowed to do
  • Do not attempt to argue; focus on reasoning
  • Be nonjudgmental
  • Ask questions to clarify their position and keep communication open

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VERBAL TECHNIQUES

Finding common ground is important:

  • ‘I’ and “we” statements (avoid “you” statements that separate you from the person or sound accusatory)
  • Open-ended questions
  • Paraphrasing
  • Get the person to say “yes” (it is hard for someone to stay angry if they are agreeing with you)
  • Don’t forget body language

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DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE (VIRTUALLY OR IN PERSON)

  • Familiarize yourself with your agency’s policies
  • Avoid creating an adversarial relationship where there is no room for movement
  • Address inappropriate, disruptive, or concerning behavior from the beginning. If you have a concern, do not wait to see if it happens again.

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SAMPLE STATEMENTS

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“I recognize how frustrated you are and I want to work with you. We need to take a step back for a minute so we can look at this situation together.”

Repeat the statement calmly two times. The third time, add:

THEN

“I am going to end this conversation. I will not speak with another adult who is (yelling, cursing, etc.)”

“as your case manager, I will not speak to someone who uses [vulgar/crass/inappropriate/ disrespectful] language.”

OR

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ENDING DE-ESCALATION

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OR

When the person has calmed down, you can then begin to address their individual situation and make a plan with them, in the same patient and professional manner that you have already displayed.

The person you are working with does not respond to your efforts at de-escalating the situation and you need to end the interaction without exacerbating things or putting yourself or anyone else in harm’s way.

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ENDING �DE-ESCALATION

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Close the conversation and ask the person to leave (more on this in a moment)

If you are concerned that picking up the phone to call 911 may agitate the person further, consider an alternative alerting system.

Contact 911 if the person refuses to leave.

Trust your instincts. If the de-escalation is not working, stop. 

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ASKING SOMEONE TO LEAVE

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STEP 1: Let them know that you take the issue seriously, but need time to research the problem and/or talk to others involved

STEP 2: Offer to set a meeting for a later date, or offer to contact them (phone/email) to follow up

WHY THIS WORKS: Once you set up a follow-up plan, they will most likely leave on their own

If you need more time to address the issue:

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ASKING SOMEONE TO LEAVE

Things to Remember:

  • If you set an expectation that you will follow up - honor your word
  • If you set a meeting, you may want someone there as support for you
  • Remember, try not to use a small office, think about using a bigger conference room

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WHAT IF THEY REFUSE TO LEAVE?

If you have done all you can, and the person is unwilling to accept your resolution/response:

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If they refuse to leave

or continue to argue

Politely request that

they leave

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I have politely asked you to leave, and if you do not do so, I will have to call the police/security to escort you out.”

I understand that you are frustrated, but we have talked through this and have done all we can - I need to ask you to leave

Thank you for sharing your feedback. We will take it into consideration, but now I need to ask you to leave.”

You are making me feel very uncomfortable right now - I need to ask you to leave.”

REMEMBER:

  • Keep the exit clear and do not walk over to the door or physically escort them out - wait patiently and quietly
  • If they still refuse to leave, call the police/security
  • Develop a code phrase system to alert others in your office when you need them to call the police/security

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DOCUMENTING INCIDENTS

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Even if an incident seems like it doesn’t rise to the level of a formal complaint, document it just in case.

Open a document on your computer and add to it after each interaction - note the date and time of the interaction, what was said by both parties, and any other notes you have.

Document emails too - in the same document, add a note of the date(s) of any emails of concern so you can keep an accurate timeline.

When you make a formal complaint, it is much easier to do so when you have documented the details each time, while they were fresh in your mind. If too much time passes, it is much more difficult to remember exactly what happened and when.

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DEBRIEF THE SITUATION

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When in doubt, contact your direct supervisor/lead to let them know of the incident, chain of command

Immediately meet with coworkers, team members or a supervisor after an incident to make sure everyone is okay

Talking about it can relieve stress

Discuss what was done well and areas for improvement

Discuss actions to be taken if a similar situation occurs

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EXAMPLE SCENARIO #1

When a staff member is speaking to another staff member in an elevated tone and clapping their hands together in their face, how do you handle that?

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EXAMPLE SCENARIO #2

A client is yelling and becoming agitated while having a drug induced psychosis and a staff member started yelling back at them, how could they have handled this better?

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Question and Answer

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EXAMPLE SCENARIO #3

A shop owner became angry that the provider wasn’t physically removing a houseless individual from the front of their store, how can the staff mediate the situation?

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EXAMPLE SCENARIO #4

Client threatened bodily harm to a staff member and is starting to step closer to them, how do you de-escalate without it becoming violent.

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PRACTICE SCENARIO #2

You are an employee of department X and just got back from lunch to find a community member standing outside your office. All other employees are in a meeting, and your supervisor is unavailable. The person demands to speak to you because one of your employees was allegedly parked in a handicapped parking space. The community member wants to file a complaint.

  • Person #1 is the community member
  • Person #2 is the department X employee

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IMPORTANT CONTACT INFORMATION

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EMERGENCY (POLICE/FIRE/EMS): 911

UHM DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY: (808) 956-6911

SAFETY ESCORT SERVICE: (808) 956-SAFE(7233)

Sign up for UH Alert: https://www.hawaii.edu/alert/

Download our campus safety app, Mānoa Guardian: http://manoaguardian.com/

Have more questions? Contact the Community Policing Unit: dpscpu@hawaii.edu

@uhmanoasafety