1 of 17

Positive�friendships

2 of 17

Overview

Activity summary

Students learn about key features of positive friendships, and skills we can practise to be good friends to each other.

The lesson is based on students having one worksheet to work through and fill out as the lesson progresses. By the end of the lesson, students will have their own sheet to take away that reminds them of the characteristics of a positive friendship and reminders of who they can speak to if they are experiencing troubled friendships - including signposting to external services.

Age group

11-16 (Key Stages 3-4)

Time required

45-60 mins.��

Additional comments

You do not need subject knowledge in PSHE to use this resource.�

Using this presentation

The slides and slide notes include the vocabulary and subject knowledge you’ll need to teach this topic with confidence.

Slides 2-6: Overview for teachers.

Hidden slides will not display in presentation mode.

Slides 1,7-16: Slides to use with students.

Slide notes contain further guidance.

Slide 17: Extension activities

Developed with teachers

This resource has been developed in partnership with practising teachers.

2

3 of 17

Overview

Learning objectives

Describe the qualities of positive friendships
Explore different ways of being a good friend
Identify places someone struggling with friendship could get support

Curriculum links

PSHE Programme of Study

KS3 Students learn:

R1. about different types of relationships, including those within families, friendships, romantic or intimate relationships and the factors that can affect them
R2. indicators of positive, healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships, including online
R10. the importance of trust in relationships and the behaviours that can undermine or build trust

KS4 Students learn:

R1. the characteristics and benefits of strong, positive relationships, including mutual support, trust, respect and equality
R3. to respond appropriately to indicators of unhealthy relationships, including seeking help where necessary
R10. the importance of trust in relationships and the behaviours that can undermine or build trust

Relationships and Sex Education (RSE)

By the end of secondary school pupils should know:

that there are different types of committed, stable relationships.
the characteristics of positive and healthy friendships (in all contexts, including online) including: trust, respect, honesty, kindness, generosity, boundaries, privacy, consent and the management of conflict, reconciliation and ending relationships. This includes different (non-sexual) types of relationship.
practical steps they can take in a range of different contexts to improve or support respectful relationships.

3

4 of 17

Overview

Activity	Time required	Slide number	Resources and preparation needed
Starter	5 minutes	Slide 7	Worksheet
Lesson objectives and ground rules	5 mins	Slide 8
What does it mean to be a friend?	10 minutes	Slide 9-11	Worksheet, 3-4 different coloured writing pens (if available)
Features of friendship	10 minutes	Slide 12	Support worksheet - Keyword list
On your feet	15 minutes	Slide 13
Active listening roleplay	10-15 minutes per activity	Slide 14
Signposting and plenary	5 minutes	Slide 15-16	Worksheet

4

5 of 17

Teacher support

Core message

Friendships are an incredibly important part of growing up, yet it is very common to have challenges when navigating friendships. In this lesson, students will learn to identify what makes a positive friendship and what qualities they should look out for and develop in friendships. It is important for students to learn that friendships can change over time and like any relationship, take work and effort. A key skill in friendship is active listening, which students will have the opportunity to practise alongside knowing how to seek support if they are worried about their friendships.

Signposting

Students are encouraged to speak to a trusted person, such as family, friends, a healthcare professional, school nurse or a member of staff in their school if they require support and/or guidance with the issues associated with relationships. For further information please visit Young Minds, Childline, the Samaritans, CEOP or the NHS Urgent Mental Health Helpline.

��

5

6 of 17

Classroom tips

Climate for learning

Read through Guidance for Learning in a Safe Environment.

This includes advice on:

developing and revisiting effective ground rules drawn up with students
familiarity with your school’s safeguarding policy and procedures, including Child Protection and other relevant policies
being prepared in case students make a disclosure and informing students that they can approach the teacher separately if there is something they wish to disclose.
including and protecting vulnerable students
using distancing techniques so that students can discuss sensitive issues without being encouraged to make a disclosure
handling sensitive questions
involving students with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) and/or autism

�You may also wish to familiarise yourself with any schemes or offers available in your school, organisation or local area to��support young people’s mental health. Your local public health team, school nurse, mental health leads or SEN support team should be able to help signpost you to this.

Anonymous question box

Place a question box or envelope somewhere in the classroom. Students write down any questions that occur to them during the lesson and submit them anonymously. You can address these questions in the next lesson. If students are not in class you could send them a self-addressed envelope so they can post a question back anonymously if needed.

Identify students for whom this topic may be challenging

Children and young people with experience of difficult relationships, harassment or bullying may find this topic challenging. It is important to be aware of any sensitivities or issues that may come up. Consider briefing or debriefing the lesson with any students who might be affected by this topic and signposting to immediate support that can be offered if students feel they want to talk further with someone about seeking help in their situation.

�

6

7 of 17

Starter

Let’s get started…

What can you see in these photographs?
How can you tell that these people are friends?
What are the characteristics of a positive friendship?

Discuss with your partner and write down your ideas. You have 2 minutes!

7

8 of 17

Learning objectives

Describe the qualities of�positive friendships

Explore different ways of being a good friend

Identify ways in which someone struggling with friendship could get support

8

9 of 17

What does it mean �to be a friend?

How do friends make�each other feel?

What words could be used to describe a positive friendship?

What are some signs that

people are friends?

How might they know?

What do friends do?

In the next box on your worksheet, create a mind map that shows the main features of a positive friendship. Aim for 3-5 points.

9

What does it mean to be a friend? | Slide 1 of 3 | This slide - 4 minutes | Students will explore what they consider to be key characteristics of a positive friendship

Explain that we are going to look in depth at the main features of a positive friendship. We’ll start by working alone, and then we’ll discuss as a class.
Explain that we are going to create a multi-coloured mindmap. � - Students will need to use 3 different colours of pen/pencil for this activity. � - Explain that we will start with one colour (e.g. blue or black) to record our initial ideas, and as we go through the task, we will add more ideas in a different colour. � - At the end of the activity, we will be able to see how much we learnt!
If coloured pens are not available, then students can write each round of comments within a different shape or in a different style.

3.Ask students to answer the question ‘What does it mean to be a friend?’ by creating a mindmap on their worksheet. � - Ask them to use one colour. � - Give them 3 minutes to complete the task

Support: � - Guide students to the support questions on the board to help them generate ideas. � - Draw a mindmap on the board. Suggest words like ‘trust’, ‘kindness’ and ‘respect’, and ask them to write down what that means to them or draw images that represent these qualities.�

Challenge:�Ask students to reflect on what some of the key words really mean - e.g. trust, kindness, respect, etc. Ask students to then write down phrases that someone might hear from a friend that would demonstrate this qualities, e.g. trust – ‘I’m really here for you, you can tell me how you are feeling.’

10 of 17

Video

Now that you’ve written down your own ideas, let’s take a look at this video of Xavi, giving their ideas of what a positive friendship looks like.

As Xavi speaks, add any new ideas to your mindmap in a different colour.

As we watch the video, think about:

What does Xavi think is important in a friendship?
How does Xavi value friendship?
What is Xavi’s advice for making and keeping good friends?

10

11 of 17

What does it mean �to be a friend?

How do friends make�each other feel?

What do friends do?

What do you have on your mindmap? Let’s share!

What words could be used to describe a positive friendship?

What are some signs that people are friends?

How might they know?

11

What does friendship mean to you? | Slide 3 of 3 | This slide - 3 minutes | Students will share their reflections on positive and learn from each other, including analysing what could happen if a friendship was lacking that characteristics.

Ask students to feedback their ideas from their own reflection, and the video of Xavi.
Suggest that students can add to their worksheet in a third colour if they get any more ideas from the class discussion.

Support: Invite students who need support to write down 1-2 new words or ideas from the class discussion or to volunteer one key characteristic of a positive friendship if they are comfortable to share.

Challenge: Invite students who need further challenge to identify a key feature and then explain what they think could happen if a friendship was lacking one of these characteristics.

12 of 17

Features of friendship

Trust

Respect

Honesty

Support

Kindness

Generosity

Task 1: Choose 3 of these features of friendship that you think are the most important and explain why they are so important.

Task 2: In pairs, write your own definition of a positive friendship.

Boundaries

Privacy

Consent

Loyalty

Reconciliation

12

Features of friendship | 5 minutes | Students will analyse different qualities in friendship and consider how trust, respect, boundaries, privacy and consent relate to friendship.

Read out the list of key vocabulary on the board and clarify the meaning of each word.

Trust – being able to rely on and believe someone.

Respect – caring about other’s feelings, rights and wishes.

Honesty – being fair and telling the truth.

Support – letting someone be who they are and encouraging them without trying to change them.

Kindness – being friendly and considerate towards other people. Thinking about what makes other people feel happy or appreciated and acting on these thoughts.

Generosity – when someone happily shares what they have with others.

Boundaries – what someone is or isn’t comfortable with in a relationship and how they would like to be treated by others. Boundaries can be emotional, physical or even digital, e.g. They do feel comfortable with regular texting, they don’t feel comfortable with regular phone calls.

Privacy - having a right to private thoughts, feelings, or experiences without others being aware of them. The ability to share personal information without fear that it will be shared with others.

Consent – making sure another person agrees before doing something or their information is shared.

Loyalty - standing by others, even when things get difficult.

Reconciliation – restoring relationships after conflict. It is normal for there to be disagreements, conflict or times in a friendship where someone feels let down, so reconciliation is important in friendships.�

Ask students if they can think of other words that would be included, or words that mean the same thing.

Emphasise the importance of trust in a friendship, explain that respect is reciprocal and highlight the importance of boundaries, privacy and consent.�

Ask students to complete the tasks on the board and write their answers on their worksheets.

Support: Give students the keyword list and ask them choose three aspects they think are most important and write an explanation why for one of them. �Challenge: Ask students to choose one of these qualities and consider what a friendship would look like without this quality. Ask them to write a speech bubble demonstrating what a young person could say to a friend or parents if one of these features of a friendship was not present or had been infringed upon and they needed to seek further support.�

13 of 17

On your feet

Strongly agree

Strongly disagree

13

On your feet | 15 minutes | Students apply their learning of positive friendships to different scenarios, evaluating what makes a positive friendship.

Clear some tables and chairs to make an aisle across the classroom.
Introduce the activity:� - Choose one side of the classroom to represent ‘strongly agree’, and the opposite side of the classroom to represent ‘strongly disagree’.� - Explain that there is now an invisible line running across the classroom. One end of this line represents ‘strongly agree’, the other represents ‘strongly disagree’, and the rest of the line represents every other opinion in between. The middle represents ‘I don’t know’.

Support: Demonstrate where the line and both ends are by walking through the classroom. Indicate each end, and where the middle point is.�

Do the activity:� - Ask all students to stand up. Read out one of the statements below.� - Give students 10 seconds to respond to the statement by moving to their place on the line.� - After each statement, ask at least 1 student to volunteer an explanation as to why they have chosen where they are on the line, and to express their opinion. Invite multiple students - or those at opposite ends - to share and stimulate class discussion. � - Repeat 5-6 times.��Statements (guidance below each for teachers to raise in the discussion)�“Friendships are beneficial for mental health”

Positive friendships are beneficial for mental health but negative friendships can sometimes harm mental health by affecting someone’s self-esteem or confidence

“Friends will keep any secret they’re told, no matter what it is”

If a someone shared a secret with a friend that caused the friend worry or concern, talking to a trusted adult or seeking support could be an important way of showing friendship or kindness. If they weren’t sure if was an area of concern, the friend could always ask an adult for some guidance without using the person’s name. If there is ever a risk of harm to that person or to others, it is always best to tell a trusted adult.

“Once someone has a friend, they’re stay friends forever”

Some friendships will last the course of a lifetime, but it is also incredibly normal for friendships to come and go. Friendships require both people to continue putting in effort.

“People can always be themselves around their friends”

Different friends usually bring out different parts of someone’s personality. With close friends, most people feel like they can be themselves, but this might not always be the case with less close friends or may change over time.

“Trusting friends would never go through each others private things like looking through their room or phone”

It is inappropriate to go through other people’s personal possessions, even if it is a close friend. If there does happen to be an important reason why, it is important to always ask for consent (permission).

“Being a good friend is an easy thing to do”

Friendships require effort, honesty and forgiveness. This is not always easy to do.

“All friendships are healthy”

Some friendships might lack some of the characteristics we have explored such as respect, trust or honesty; these could be considered unhealthy friendships.

“All friends are good at listening”

Listening is a skill that can be practised and developed. Lots of things can impact how well people listen, e.g. how busy somewhere is, what is going on in their own life etc. Good friends will make time to listen and hear what others have to say, but everyone might have times where listening is tricky. Some friends will be better than others at this.

“People should trust all their friends equally”

Trust is something that is built over time and through experience, so it is normal that people will trust their friends in different amounts, depending on their experience of that friend.

Challenge: Invite students to suggest a new scenario for the class to respond to.

14 of 17

Active listening roleplay

Having good conversations is a very important part of a positive friendship and requires some skills.

5 steps to active listening:

Let the speaker speak without interruption.
The listener is not allowed to say anything while the speaker �is talking – no comments, no questions, no verbal �back-channel signals (that is, “mhm”, “aha”, “uh-huh”, etc).
Appropriate eye contact and nodding are okay to show �that you are paying attention to them.
When the speaker has finished speaking, ask if they �have anything more to add, and make sure that they �have finished.
When they have finished, the listener can feed back what �they heard the speaker say and offer any suggestions �or questions.

14

Active listening roleplay | 10 minutes | Students learn about the importance of non-judgmental, ‘active’ listening in friendship and evaluate how it feels to actively listen to others and to be listened to.

Explain that our friends are people we can talk to about anything, and we can trust them to listen and support us - or offer us advice when we need it. Having good conversations is a very important part of a positive friendship and requires some skills. We’ll be developing our listening skills.�
Ask students to work in pairs, label themselves 1 and 2. �
To begin with, outline the key features of active listening:

Explain that listening is an important form of communication. In pairs, one person will speak to you on a single topic of their choice for 2 minutes. The other person simply listens in order to understand the message. The role of the listener is to listen in silence and try to understand the speaker. At the end of 2 minutes the listener may speak.
To practise active listening, the listener must let the speaker speak without interruption. The listener is not allowed to say anything while the speaker is talking – no comments, no questions, no verbal back-channel signals (that is, “mhm”, “aha”, “uh-huh”, etc).
Appropriate eye contact and nodding are okay to show that you are paying attention to them.
When the speaker has finished speaking, ask if they have anything more to add, and make sure that they have finished.
When they have finished, the listener can summarise what they heard the speaker say and offer any suggestions or questions.
Once the listener has finished paraphrasing, the speaker can then confirm, correct and clarify. �

Let students begin the task, taking it in turns to speak and practise active listening.�
Finish this active listening exercise by asking students to privately reflect on how the experience was (ensure any written reflections are done on separate paper that they can keep private). They could consider:

How it felt to just listen for understanding without having the pressure to contribute.
What it felt like to not be able to ask questions when you heard something that needed clarifying or heard something you wanted to know more about. What kinds of questions might you have asked?
How it felt as the listener to give their full attention to the speaker
How it felt as the speaker, having the freedom to speak without interruption.

You can invite any students who feel comfortable to share their reflections with the class, but it is important they are happy to share their experience.

Teacher guidance for role-play-based activities:

Before undertaking role-play activities in the classroom, ensure that the following ground rules are established with students:

students are not role-playing themselves, people they know or situations they have been in. Students should talk about a topic of interest in this case, not experiences with friends (for example, discussing a hobby, a favourite subject in school, etc.).
students are not role-playing (and therefore rehearsing) a risky, harmful or dangerous behaviour, e.g. bullying/harassing someone.
students have the right to opt out if they feel uncomfortable.

Ensure that time is allocated at the end of the session for students to be debriefed so that they can come ‘out of role’.

Encourage students to use best-practice scenarios when modelling respect, trust, honesty, good communication, not being scared and equality.

15 of 17

Signposting

If someone is having any difficulties in a friendship, there are lots of people they can speak to:

A parent, carer or guardian at home
A trusted adult in school e.g. teacher, form tutor
Friends or other family
A GP or another healthcare professional
Young Minds - Young Minds is a mental health charity for children
Childline - Get help and advice about a wide range of issues
Samaritans - Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone.
Shout - text 85258 for free 24/7 mental health support
NHS Urgent Mental Health Helpline - Find NHS urgent mental health helplines for people of all ages. Provides 24-hour support from a local service to help with a mental health emergency.��All external agencies can be contacted with any problem, big or small. �There is further information on their websites and on their social media profiles

15

16 of 17

Plenary

Let’s look at what we have learnt in this lesson. Take a look at your mindmap - how much have you added in different colours since we started?� �Swap your mindmap with your partner and read their responses. ��Next, write your own statements on your worksheet:

‘A positive friendship is �one where…’
‘A challenging friendship is �one where…’�

16

17 of 17

Extension activities

Extension activity: Positive friendship poster	Aim: Students demonstrate understanding of key features of a positive friendship. Task: Students research and create an A4 poster to go up in their form room, to share the key characteristics of a positive friendship using key vocabulary.�Include: three key features of a positive friendship two facts about the positive impacts of friendship on mental health one definition of positive friendship	20-30 minutes
Positive friendship charades	Aim: For students to creatively explore the characteristics of a positive friendship Option 1: Students are given one of the characteristics of a positive friendship, and are given �2-3 minutes to devise a short sketch which they then act out to the class, who need to guess which characteristic it is. Option 2: Charades-style. All key words are put into a bowl, and students come to the front �to pick one out individually and act it out to the class, who have to guess which �characteristic it is.	10-20 minutes

17