English Language
Unit 2 Revision 2023
Lifeboats Writing Section
What you should have in front of you:
What you should have in front of you:
Learning Objectives
By the end of this lesson you will be :
What does the paper look like?
This is the Unit 2 Paper
The writing section is focused on these topics
We are only looking at the writing section in this session
Make sure you have plenty of black pens and some highlighters if they help you!
Tip – know how much you write in 45 minutes and how much space 350-500 words takes you
Back to Basics
Make your examiner’s life easy!
Write
Write one task – from a choice of two
Complete
Complete the proofreading and editing section
Fill in
Fill in all relevant data on answer booklet (including question numbers where prompted).
Use
Use black pen.
Read
Read all instructions on the front cover.
Organising your time
It’s a 2 hour paper. You have to monitor your own time!
Section A and B are worth the same marks so should have the same time spent on them.
You have to do two things on Section B – the proofreading and the writing (which should take the most time!)
Proof-reading Practice
The Royal Nacional Lifeboat Institution (RNLI) have announced it will be making redundancies as it tries to cut costs. It has explained that this is neccessary in response to an income shortfall as donations from legacies have reduced. However, demand for it’s services rose to a record level with lifeboats being lawnched 8,974 times in the UK and Ireland last year.
Note: you must circle the mistakes and write the corrections out underneath – in the order in which they appear in the text.
1. National
2. has
3. necessary
4. its
5. launched
In this task you will be assessed for the quality of your proofreading. Circle the five errors and write them correctly in the spaces below. [5 marks]
Tip - Please remember to keep capital and lower case the same as the original text (unless correcting the mistake) Note that National needs a capital N as you are correcting a spelling error not a capital letter error.
Question B1
Another one to practise with…
Corrections
Tip
Please remember to keep capital and lower case the same (unless correcting the mistake) Note that Calendar needs a capital C as you are correcting a spelling error not a capital letter error.
Answers!
Lack of practice
Loss of teaching time
Accuracy, accuracy, accuracy…
Quality of ideas and content
Time restrictions
Using sentences, language, punctuation for effects.
Structure and organisation of writing
Misunderstanding the task.
Why do students lose marks in the Writing Section?
PRACTISE planning, developing ideas and sentence structures, in class and at home
Attend all lessons and do all my classwork and homework to the best of my ability
Be ACCURATE with sentences, grammar, spelling, punctuation…
Use sentences, vocabulary and punctuation to create EFFECTS.
PRACTISE writing under strict time restrictions, in class and at home
Have a range of IDEAS ready
Make sure my writing has a clear PURPOSE and audience and I PLAN it out before I start.
Understand exactly what the question is asking me to do.
What does the examiner say?
Tips for approaching a writing question
Question B2
These are two examples of the types of tasks you can be given.
One descriptive and one exposition task here. You choose one – don’t do both on this paper!
Both are linked/related to the texts you have already read.
Make sure you do a plan!
Two sets of marks available – one for your ideas, one for your accuracy.
Plan your work and then proofread your answer.
Planning Structure:
Engage with the topic
State your opinion
First Point
+
development
INTRODUCTION
Conclusion
MAIN TOPIC SENTENCE: Firstly,
the idea that ….. is groundless.
MAIN TOPIC SENTENCE: Understandably, people feel let down by …..
MAIN TOPIC SENTENCE: Moreover, why is it that we see young people as
Second point
+
development
Third point
+
development
This is a useful planning structure. Always aim for three main paragraphs as a minimum.
You can use this as a plan for exposition writing.
STRATEGIES TO EXPAND IDEAS
Statement
Explain why you think this
Give specific examples
Explain possible consequences
Use a personal anecdote
Explain: what does this mean for you? What does this mean for your community? What does it mean for Wales?
State a statistic
Why is it important?
Explain how big or small the issue is
State the implications
Link this to the point
Back up with an expert
Explain how this supports your view
Introduction:�Your initial feeling about the statement under discussion: ..................................................................................................�...............................................................................................................................................................................................
Reason
Explain
Develop
Reason
Explain
Develop
Reason
Explain
Develop
Reason
Explain
Develop
Use this planning sheet to add detail to your ideas!
Conclusion:………................................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
FOR THE HIGHEST MARKS, YOU MUST SHOW YOU CAN EXPAND ON YOUR IDEAS
Don’t say…
People need to eat a healthy diet or they will make themselves ill later in life.
Do say…
Being aware of the importance of eating a well-balanced diet is essential for health and well-being throughout our lifetimes. Those who do not choose to eat a healthy diet are far more likely to be afflicted by a wide range of illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure.
EXAMPLES
e.g. Who has the right to judge whether someone is conventional?
Declarative statements
Rhetorical Questions
Single words with later explanation.
Tripling
WHAT
Planning your content, ideas and structure
HOW
Paragraphing & Punctuation
Sentence structures & patterns
Word choices
Details and effects
All you need to remember is: WHAT and HOW
PAFT - Purpose Audience Format Tone�
Purpose – what is the reason for your writing (to describe, to narrate or to explain!)
Audience – who are you writing for – the exam always identifies the audience.
Format – what are you writing – a letter, a story, an essay – how should they look?
Tone – what tone will the writing take? Funny? Angry etc
Use PAFT as a quick reflection before you start writing
PAFT Self Questioning- use to plan
Purpose
Audience
Tone
Format
LET’S P.A.F.T TOGETHER...
Emergency and rescue services such as the RNLI and Air Ambulance do amazing work to save lives.
Write an essay on the importance of emergency and rescue services, giving clear reasons and examples.
AUDIENCE – anyone considering supporting the services
PURPOSE – exposition – giving your opinions on the service
FORMAT – essay – personal views – could be relaxed.
TONE – conversational and emotive – expressing your views (ok to be biased)
NOW PLAN...PLEASE
Exposition – essay - about my views on the importance of the emergency and rescue services
Introduction
Examples of why they are so important (use the examples in the reading section)
Positive views of rescue services
Negative views (plus counter points)
Conclusion and hopes for future
Now it’s your turn
WHAT DOES EXPOSITION MEAN?
The expository essay is an essay that investigates, illustrates, explains, and tries to illuminate (expose) an idea. To do this it needs a clear line of thinking – a thesis which it develops, through definition, comparison and contrast, example, statistics and explanation of effect and implications.
It is seeking to explain something – it is exposing your views on a topic.
Most expository essays have an introductory paragraph in which a thesis or objective is stated, several main body paragraphs that prove or explain what is in the introduction, and a concluding paragraph in which everything is summed up. It is useful to imagine that the reader may not have much knowledge on the subject so you need to provide information.
Typical exposition tasks that might appear …
Write an essay expressing your views on…/ Write a leaflet explaining…/Explain…
“Exposition requires the writer to give a comprehensive explanation of an idea or theory.”
(OED)
Mark Scheme – Band 5 (A/A*)
Description/narration
NARRATION VS. DESCRIPTION
DO NOT STRESS ABOUT THIS!
Description Language features:
Narrative Language features:
Why not just call it a story? Why narration? What’s the difference?
more functional and less imaginative
Less ‘make-believe’ – it has to be believable / true to life
Can’t have a varied chronology
Must be in past tense
HERE ARE SOME RECENT EXAMPLES OF DESCRIPTION / NARRATION TASKS:
‘Describe an occasion when you, or someone you know, showed courage. 35 Marks
Sharp focus: 10 mins
Clear structure
ONE main event
ONE other character
Setting
Detailed writing
Thoughts & feelings
Change/development
Synonyms:
Were brave
Did something courageous
Were fearless
Were heroic
20 + 15 marks
What & How
40 mins
5 – 6 paragraphs
2 - 3 pages
Let’s break down one of those tasks:
If the question asks you to describe ‘a time when…’, or ‘an occasion when…’
ONE main event: focus on ONE thing that happened, as if you had taken a photo of it.
Sharp focus: you should only describe a short time period, the crucial ten minutes when the thing happened.
Do NOT describe the whole day from the minute you got up…
Clear structure: within that ten minute event there should be as clear structure – a beginning, middle and end
ONE other character: if there were other people there, only focus on ONE of them. You haven’t got time to describe and tell us all about the 12 friends who were with you.
Setting: give the reader a clear sense of WHERE this event took place – describe the surroundings.
Detailed writing: the focus of your writing is on your feelings and the setting, you are not writing a story.
Thoughts & feelings: make this the main focus of your writing.
Change/development: try to show how something changed inside you (or someone else) as a result of this event.
‘Describe an occasion when you , or someone you know, showed courage. 35 marks
Think about synonyms for ‘courage’:
Now can you think about a time when you felt like this? This should give you an idea for your story. If you can’t, you can use the ideas from the reading paper to help.
There will often be a reference to feelings in the question…’
There are 35 marks for this piece of writing. They are broken down into 2 parts:
COMMUNICATION and ORGANISATION – 20 marks
WRITING ACCURATELY – 15 marks
You should take about 40 – 45 minutes to write, including planning your ideas.
Aim to write 5 – 6 paragraphs, which is about 2 sides, depending on your handwriting.
Breaking down the mark scheme…
‘Describe an occasion when you, or someone you know, showed courage.
35 Marks
Now it’s your turn
Look at these other question examples. What synonyms can you find for how you feel? Does this give you ideas for your writing?
EXAMPLE QUESTIONS
Write an article for a travel magazine describing somewhere interesting that you have visited.
Describe an occasion when technology made a difference to your life.
Describe a time when you faced a challenge.
Write an account of a time when you were unwilling to do something.
Write an account of a time when you enjoyed taking part in an outdoor activity.
Describe an occasion when you were given a big responsibility.
I hate writing
I don’t have any ideas
Sound familiar?
Planning
You can’t expect to be sitting in an exam hall, stressed to your eyeballs, and suddenly have a moment of inspiration. You won’t have a magic idea, nor will a complete ‘story’ arrive fully-formed in your head.
This is just a JOB that needs to be DONE.
Start with the NUGGET, the MICRO-IDEA given in the question. Hook onto the KEY WORD – ‘challenge’, ‘enjoyed’, ‘responsibility’, ‘alone’ etc. And if you really can’t think of a time when you felt like that, then you can make it up, but try to base it on a real event, maybe it happened to someone you know.
Take that ONE NUGGET and BUILD around it, using the skills you have been taught.
Keep it SIMPLE – keep it LOCAL – your own bedroom, your classroom, the pavement outside your house, the waiting room in the Dentist’s, your nana’s living room…
Don’t be afraid to STEAL – pinch good ideas / vocabulary / sentence structures from other pieces of writing. (It’s OK, honest, as long as it’s just the ideas, not whole chunks)
How to plan:
In the exam situation, it is REALLY WORTH JOTTING DOWN A PLAN before you start.
Just take a few minutes, and it will be worth its weight in gold.
You could use a spidergram like this one…
OR…
Try this acronym – H SPACE
The HOOK is your NUGGET, your MICRO-IDEA based on the question.
TO FUTURE
Have a go at just jotting down some plans using past-paper writing questions.
SHOW NOT TELL
A simple way to improve your writing is to SHOW, not TELL.
‘The bully was really tall’ – TELLS the reader the information
‘The bully towered over me’ – SHOWS the reader a clue and they work it out for themselves.
DESCRIPTIVE TECHNIQUES – ‘OASIS MAP’
Remind yourself what these words mean and what these techniques are.
We stepped out into the winter world.
It was a world of glass, sparkling and motionless. Vapours had frozen all over the trees and transformed them into confections of sugar. Everything was rigid, locked-up and sealed, and when we breathed the air it smelt like needles and stabbed our nostrils and made us sneeze. Having sucked a few icicles, and kicked the water-butt – to hear its solid sound – and breathed through the frost on the window-pane, we ran up into the road. We hung around waiting for something to happen. A dog trotted past like a ghost in a cloud, panting his aura around him.
Now the winter’s day was set in motion and we rode through its crystal kingdom. We examined the village for its freaks of frost, for anything we might use. We saw the frozen spring by the side of the road, huge like a swollen flower. We saw trees lopped-off by their burdens of ice, cow-tracks like pot-holes in rock, quiet lumps of sheep licking the spiky grass with their black and rotting tongues. The church clock had stopped and the weather-cock was frozen, so that both time and the winds were stilled; and nothing, we thought, could be more exciting than this.
What makes this a good piece of writing?
What OASIS MAP techniques can you spot here?
metaphor
simile
Use of the senses
alliteration
Task - your turn - Write a descriptive paragraph about a day trip which stands out - positive or negative.
Challenge:
Proof-read - does this have all the basics accurate? Check over:
Effective descriptions – show not tell
Eg He was smiling but it was a smile that was cold and white.
CHALLENGE
Eg She was pestering her mum and dad over and over.
CHALLENGE
Choice of verbs
SAW – spotted/noticed/sighted
SHOWED – gaped/yawned/glared
COVERED – choked/blanketed/smothered
WENT – quivered/thrilled/shivered
WALKED – swaggered/strutted/sauntered
WORKED – toiled/stumbled/struggled
PULLED – dragged/tugged/yanked
SWUNG – creaked/groaned/drifted
LOOKED – gazed/stared/peered
COVERING – caking/coating/carpeting
HANGING – dangling/drooping/trailing
DIALOGUE
(careful it doesn’t become ‘he said’- ‘I said’)
e.g. Jane said, “Hello, How are you?”
Bob said, “Good. You?”
X
Example answers (Band 4)
Relatively focused
Uses relevant techniques
Tries to use challenging vocab
Some sentencing errors
Example answer band 5
Sophisticated tone
Impressive and relevant vocab
Varied sentencing
Use of humour
TOP TIPS
What you should have in front of you:
Learning Objectives
By the end of this lesson you will be :
Thank you for attending this revision session
I hope you all found today’s session useful. It has been recorded so you can go back and look again at the answers.
Next week’s session will focus on Unit 3 Reading with Ms Davies.
(Argumentation Instruction Persuasion)
Carlam Cymru would like to hear your thoughts on how you find these sessions and what else you would like to see.
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