REJECTION AND REVISION

Chris Negron, Author of Dan Unmasked (July 2020) and The Last Super Chef (July 2021)

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*Georgia Writers Museum Writers Retreat

Who I am

Chris Negron

• Local writer of middle grade fiction
• Went through a long journey toward publication myself
• Dan Unmasked
• Finalist, Young Adult Category, 2021 Georgia Author of the Year
• The Last Super Chef
• “Willy Wonka meets Gordon Ramsey”
• IndieNext pick for July / August by the American Booksellers Association
• Underdog City
• Coming Fall 2023, again from HarperCollins

Who are you?

So that’s who I am….but who are you?

Rejection and Revision – What’s Ahead

• Learning to appreciate and utilize Rejection
• The Importance of Distance in Art
• Common Types of Distance in Writing / Fiction
• Introduce: A new type of distance that springs from rejection and fuels revision
• Tools for Revision
• Poe’s Unity of Effect
• Free Expert Readers! – Using Rejection and the Submission process as a tool for revision
• Concrete tools for Revision
• Rejection / Revision Tips & Tricks
• Q&A

Distance Basics

Let’s start with an understanding of how important DISTANCE is as a foundation for this talk

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I think about distance a lot as

it relates to writing – it’s a

foundational writing concept

for me

The Importance of Distance in Art

DISTANCE is a tool we must master to practice any art.

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It is used extensively within both the artist and the art itself.

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Mastering the dials that control these different types of distances is a core competency for practicing any art.

Distance in Painting

Painters step back from their paintings to change their perspective, assess where they stand in the project, and decide how to move forward.

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Distance creates a blurring effect that highlights areas of necessary change. You see the bigger picture.

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Some even use longer brushes intentionally to paint at a distance from their work.

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Rembrandt van Rijn, Artist in his Studio

Narrative Distance

• The space between the reader and the narrator and / or character in a story.
• Sliding POV (point of view)
• Emotional moments = closer
• Quieter moments = more distant
• Camera of the mind
• E.g. the mind should join the eye, unless you want your work to feel distant or detached
• Tools to control narrative distance
• Word choice
• Shorter, clipped sentences / fragments
• Internal thought / opinions of characters
• Affect of filter words on distance
• The same sentence with a filter word creates distance
• Dan glimpsed…
• Dan felt…
• Dan saw…
• Strong point of view and the proper narrative distance should mostly make these filter words unnecessary

Deep dive on point of view: The misconception of the “camera”

• Some writers think of a camera (as it relates to narrative distance) as a “thing” – an inanimate object that you can move forward and back to control distance in fiction
• But here we speak of the “camera” not as a thing, but a person: your character
• More specifically, your character’s eyes are not the lens of the camera
• Her brain is the lens
• Worldview
• Everything that is seen is filtered through the lens of your character’s brain
• This means we get her thoughts and opinions on what is happening, what she is seeing
• This dramatically decreases the distance between the reader and your character, and the reader and your story
• It also gives you the ability to control that distance
• When the absence of those thoughts and opinions occur, it is striking and noticeable
• Where did she go? I feel far from her suddenly
• Turn the dial – distance is a spectrum – remember Hi, Medium and Lo are not the only settings, there are options in between

Let’s call this one:

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“Distance in Batman”

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The dialogue is procedural, there isn’t a lot of emotion in it.

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But the moment is emotional, and comes out as such because of the way it is rendered. The visual distance between us as readers and the characters closes in a very literal way.

Batman (2017) #1

Tom King, Writer

David Finch, Artist

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Last panel = “THE TURN”

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I mean, you have to turn this page, right? The distance between the reader and the character is closest in this last panel, both visually and emotionally.

Psychic Distance

• John Gardner, The Art of Fiction
• It was winter of the year 1853. A large man stepped out of a doorway.
• Henry J. Warburton had never much cared for snowstorms.
• Henry hated snowstorms.
• God how he hated these damn snowstorms.
• Snow. Under your collar, down inside your shoes, freezing and plugging up your miserable soul.
• Once again we see a spectrum over which we can slide or travel
• “Turning the dial” of distance
• At sentence 4, we start to get voice because of the point of view / distance
• Starting to use Henry’s brain as the lens
• At sentence 5, this is fully in play
• Notice the fragments
• Notice the “miserable” soul – we ask, “Why is he miserable?” and want to read on
• We are now fully connected to this character. The distance has been closed. We are at THE TURN in a comic book sense

Getting back to Rejection

So those are some basic understandings of the types of distance we deal with in fiction

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But what does all this matter

in a Rejection and Revision

talk?

Emotional Distance

• Some DAN UNMASKED review quotes
• “…a very deep and moving portrayal of a difficult and emotional epoch in a young man’s life.” - Ms. Yingling Reads
• “…a heartfelt statement about grief, family, and friendship.” - Always in the Middle
• “Ohhh, my heart....Dan Unmasked is one of those books you want to hug when you finish.” – Laura Gardner, for @KidLitExchange
• How do we close this emotional distance with the reader to achieve this reaction to our work?
• By mastering control of the dial of the combination of point of view, narrative / psychic distance, and using the results to render a compelling voice to the reader
• Place a strong focus on what effect we want to have or emotion we want to instill in our readers from the beginning of the first draft and, more importantly, during revision
• More on revision later
• This is all leading us in the direction of Poe’s Unity of Effect
• More on this during the revision section as well

Distance in Revision

• Writers go to great lengths to create distance for revision
• Time
• Put it in a drawer for weeks or months
• Writing location
• Don’t revise in the same room you drafted in, or on the same computer…
• Use paper instead of the PC, or vice versa
• Font
• Print it out small so you can lay it on the floor or tape it to the walls to see the shape of the story
• Change the font of the entire MS so you see it differently
• No matter what we do, the ultimate goal is usually the same
• Seeing the work with new or fresh eyes
• Blur it from afar, like the painter standing back, to see the big picture areas needing change
• Changing your perspective
• Dialing up or back the distance
• So why not rejection as another revision tool for distance?

Distance in Submission

• When you decide it is time to submit your work to agents or editors, the following is likely true:
• You are closer to it than ever
• You have high confidence in the project
• It has become almost blurry
• But it is the close-up kind of blurry – you aren’t seeing it well anymore and need a break
• The time immediately around submission (both before and after) is the perfect time to step back and assess
• Just like in Rembrandt’s painting
• BUT…difficult to do, especially after all those revision techniques to create distance in different ways
• Often the work of revision is to close again that distance you’ve intentionally opened

Rejection

What’s the SECRET of a

“Healthy Rejection Mindset”

Distance in Rejection (THE SECRET DOOR)

Let me break it to you: you WILL get rejected

What can you do about it?

How can you use it?

THE SECRET

Rejection creates a distance between you and your work that you previously had to make an effort to eliminate to be able to start submitting

You need that distance back

Allow REJECTION to create it for you

Doubting your work can be a great first step toward revising it

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A healthy mindset toward rejection is critical.

Definition of a “Healthy Mindset” during submission (1)

• Rejection will push you back from your MS for a period of time
• An hour, a day, a week, a month
• Okay to be emotional while you’re backing up, but once you settle into your new distance, time to use it
• The Three Ts of Revision after Rejection – Trust, Try, and Team
• Trust
• Editors and agents, even if they’re not YOUR editors or agents (now or ever) are your colleagues in this process
• Trust that they have good intentions until you have some proof this is not true
• Expect professionalism and expertise from them; return the professionalism in kind
• What is your default reaction?
• No one else said this!
• OR
• Wow, everyone else missed this!

Definition of a “Healthy Mindset” during submission (2)

• The Three Ts of Revision after Rejection
• Try
• No, you don’t have to be “Mikey” and try anything
• You CAN stand up for yourself
• But yes, part of that returned professionalism is being open to giving some changes a try
• Save the old version
• In my journey, I sometimes went back to a previous version after a reject to submit to new agents / editors
• Team
• A book is always a joint effort.
• This is your team. They want your book to be great as much as you do
• Even professionals who don’t end up on your “official” team want this
• And those people you should consider part of your “team” as well
• Example: editor who hinted at my ending

Suggestion on a more agile view of the Publishing / Submission process

• Some writers ask their agents not to send rejection notices or to compile the feedback
• Writers also tend to wait to collect a large amount of feedback before deciding if a revision should be done or not
• I agree you cannot always be revising the MS
• You must at some point “let it ride”
• However, it is my opinion that you should receive the notices and constantly be evaluating the feedback
• Revision happens in your sub-conscious mind as well as your active one
• It’s critical to maintain the proper distance to be able to USE the feedback coming from the close call rejections rather than FEAR it

Revision

So what are some CONCRETE TOOLS we can employ to make Rejection work for us during Revision?

Poe’s Unity of Effect

“The Philosophy of Composition” (1846) – Essay by Edgar Allen Poe featuring the “Unity of Effect”

“A work of fiction should be written only after the author has decided how it is to end and which emotional response, or ‘effect’, he wishes to create, commonly known as the ‘unity of effect.’"

How can we figure out if we’ve achieved our targeted unity of effect with readers?

Well, we need readers…and the more expert they are, the better

And who are more expert than agents and editors in the industry?

How to employ the Unity of Effect during Revision

• One of the biggest problem novels can have is that they are not cohesive
• Whether it be the plot, the character, or simply the overall EFFECT on the reader
• Another version of cohesive could be consistent
• Does your novel know what it is and why it exists? Do you?
• That ever-present “What’s your book about?” question
• When they’re rejecting a project, agents are often communicating this lack of cohesion or consistency they’re feeling in different ways – here are some common things you hear:
• Couldn’t connect with the character
• The beginning (first chapter, whatever) didn’t grab me
• Pacing feels off / slow
• Voice isn’t compelling / memorable
• This book isn’t right for me
• We’re going to break these down, but be aware I do not stand before you with a magic wand – these are just some Unity of Effect-based possibilities for what agents mean with these responses

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But first, let’s finish talking about the Unity of Effect related to Revision in general

• According to the Unity of Effect, every element of your story should lead to a single emotional impact
• We should be looking for harmony in our story, so that the components create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts
• Readers should feel this when reading our work
• When revising, have your targeted effect in mind the entire time
• Keep a notebook or pad, draw a line in the middle
• On one side, list the components or elements have your project that ACHIEVE or AMPLIFY your effect
• On the other side, anything that does NOT do these things
• This is an easy way to know what should stay and what should go
• And it all stems from the free reads and commentary you get from industry professionals during the submission process
• All those previously Heart-breaking Rejections turn into Revision Gold
• Because you used a Healthy Mindset to allow the process to create the appropriate Distance between you and your work

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Revision

Using the UNITY OF EFFECT to

DECODE agent / editor feedback

in rejections

Couldn’t connect with the character (a.k.a. not in love with the protagonist)

• Don’t think about this as reflecting the dreaded “likability”
• Are your character’s goals clear?
• Does your character’s journey feel important?
• Is it already leading the reader toward and emotional effect
• Is your character consistent with cohesive thought processes and goals?
• Think about your narration style (narrative distance) and POV choices
• Multiple POVs can be dangerous
• Do we understand who the character is at their core
• Do the obstacles they are experiencing make sense in relation to this?
• What is their origin story and do the obstacles and conflict in your story spring from this?
• Is your character proactive, or reactive?
• Do they have agency?
• Is the psychological / emotional train of the work too flat or singular?

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The beginning (first chapter, whatever) didn’t grab me

• Poe would say you should be communicating the effect (setting the reader up for it) in the very first sentence
• The early part of our books make promises for later
• Do you dump a bunch of information on the reader right away?
• There’s no emotional effect in an info dump
• Do you introduce a ton of characters right away?
• This can contribute to a lack of cohesion / consistency and confuse the reader
• A confused reader doesn’t see the direction of the arrow and may not believe your story is pointing to some later emotional effect they can look forward to

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Pacing feels off / slow

• This can be an indication of a general lack of cohesion
• Either some plot points don’t seem believable or aren’t adequately set up
• Or it’s difficult to detect what’s driving the story
• This can get back to your character’s goals
• Or maybe the plot in general being weak
• Or it could be an info dump-y approach again (either to start or throughout)
• It could be that there are sections where nothing is happening
• Or it could be a lack of rhythm
• Either in the prose
• Or, if you switching POV,s are you spending a lot more time with some characters than others?

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Voice isn’t compelling / memorable

• We discussed voice when we were talking about narrative distance
• From a single agent, this could be just a taste thing
• If you keep receiving this response from multiple agents, however, it can build a trend that might indicate almost all the same things as in the “Can’t connect to the character” list, most notably:
• Is your character consistent with cohesive thought processes and goals?
• Think about your narration style (narrative distance) and POV choices
• Multiple POVs can be dangerous
• Do we understand who the character is at their core
• Do the obstacles they are experiencing make sense in relation to this?
• What is their origin story and do the obstacles and conflict in your story spring from this?

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This book isn’t right for me

• Sorry, but this could mean anything ☺
• Okay, let’s try some rough interpretation…
• It’s sort of the equivalent of “I don’t think this is going to work out” in dating
• It could be that the project is good, but they don’t feel they can sell it
• Or it could be that you thought you targeted the right agent but missed the mark
• Or maybe you think your work is something that it’s actually not
• There’s something here, actually
• Perhaps you think your project is having an EFFECT it’s not really having
• See above for things to check about your character and your Unity of Effect / Cohesiveness / Consistency

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Other tips – “What does it mean when they say…?”

• Editor: “I loved it, but it’s not right for the publisher’s list”
• Translation: “Someone else said no.”
• Suggested action: Continue submitting as is
• Editor / agent: “Great idea, I just wish the writing was stronger.”
• Translation: “Your concept is good, as are potentially your characters and plot, but you need to take a look at the micro-level writing.”
• Suggested actions
• Be sure you are using the strongest word choice and verbs throughout
• Beware is / are / were
• Watch out for adjectives and adverbs
• Be sure you are varying your sentences – avoid a repetitive approach
• Length
• Structure
• Other questions to ask yourself
• How is this project surprising?
• Does it need to exist? What is it saying? What question is it asking? – UNITY OF EFFECT again
• Do the plotlines of the novel have the appropriate amount of connective tissue? Does it feel cohesive?
• Do the plot, tension, emotion, and character goals escalate?
• Test for changes that work well
• Does it solve multiple problems at once?
• Reminder: Books are about seeds and secrets
• Intrigue your reader

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Summary (1)

• This talk posits that the publishing process is designed to help you revise your novel, if you follow and use it properly
• The publishing experts you encounter during the submission process, along with the free advice you receive in the form of various feedback, should be used to continuously improve your novel for the next round of submissions
• In this way you are utilizing the rejection process as a revision tool rather than getting beaten down by it
• The comments we get back during the submission process can be put to more direct use during revision

Summary (2)

• I’ve never heard an agent say this out loud or in so many words, but I would submit that they understand that when an author chooses them for early in the submission process, they realize their rejection comments may in fact help some other agent (or editor for that matter) get a great book
• It is understood sometimes they benefit from this and sometimes others benefit
• It’s like choosing to teach an early grade vs. a later one
• Even experienced writers benefit from following this process on a book by book basis
• If you target a cohesive Unity of Effect for your work and know what that desired effect is, you can use the free reading reactions you get during the submissions process (a.k.a. rejections) to help detect whether that effect is being achieved
• This can also help you decode what seem like generic reactions into specific revision investigations and actions

Questions?