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Grief, Loss, and Change�A Trauma-Informed Workshop for Adults in Transitional Housing

Presented by:

Mary Avitia-Torres, ACSW

Lighthouse of Hope (A non-profit mental health agency in SCC )

408-716-8101

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Workshop Overview

Today we will explore:

• Stages, Emotions and Myths of Grief

• What grief, loss, and change mean

• How grief shows up emotionally, physically, and socially

• How trauma shapes grief experiences

• The possibility of healing and growth over time

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What’s one word you associate with ‘grief’?

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Stages of Grief

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Grief Myths

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Grief, Loss and Change Meaning

Grief is a natural response to loss

Grief is change that affects our lives, routines, and identity

Some changes are temporary; others are lasting

Change after loss can feel overwhelming and disorienting

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How we experience Grief

EMOTIONAL-SADNESS, NUMBNESS, ANGER/IRRITABILITY/ IMPATIENCE, REDUCED TOLERANCE FOR SMALL PROBLEMS

PHYSICAL-DISRUPTED SLEEP/FATIGUE, APPETITE CHANGES, AND ENERGY LEVELS/TENSION

COGNITIVE: “BRAIN FOG” DIFFICULTY CONCENTRATING/FOCUSING, CONFUSION AND FORGETFULNESS

SPIRITUAL: QUESTIONING MEANING OF LIFE OR FAITH

Emotional Grief (The Rollercoaster of Feelings)Feelings: Intense sadness, anger, yearning, loneliness, numbness, relief, guilt, or anxiety. Expression: Waves of emotion, including crying or feeling "shut down" and detached.

Physical Grief (The Body's Response)Sensations: Tightness in the chest, hollowness in the stomach, muscle weakness, lack of energy, headaches, and trouble sleeping. Health Impacts: Increased heart attack risk, lowered immunity, and dramatic changes in appetite.

Cognitive Grief (Impact on Thinking)Brain Fog: Inability to concentrate, memory lapses, and disorganization. Thoughts: Disbelief, confusion, replaying memories, idealizing the deceased, or hearing/seeing the person who passed.

Spiritual Grief (Meaning-Making)Existential Crisis: Questioning faith, purpose, or the meaning of life. Connection/Disconnection: Feeling abandoned by God or, conversely, feeling a deep, ongoing spiritual connection to the deceased.

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Loss and Identity

Grief and Loss can make you feel like: ‘I will never be the same again’

Loss often brings a feeling of losing oneself

Wanting life to return to ‘before’ is natural—but painful

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Understanding Loss and Change

Change often brings grief—even when it is expected or necessary.
Types of loss:

•Tangible loss: death, housing, job •Ambiguous loss: uncertainty, estranged relationships, unstable systems

Grief does not follow a straight timeline.

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Trauma and Grief

Grief is deeply shaped by lived experience.
Trauma can:

• Intensify grief reactions
• Make loss feel unsafe or overwhelming

• Impact trust and emotional regulation

• Influence how we cope or withdraw

Key Aspects of Trauma and Grief Traumatic Grief: A combination of intense longing for the deceased or loss and severe symptoms of trauma, often leaving you "stuck" in a cycle of panic and pain.

Differentiation: Grief focuses on the emotional pain of loss, whereas trauma focuses on the safety threat of the event.

Brain Response: The brain interprets traumatic loss as a threat to survival, causing the amygdala to stay on high alert, resulting in anxiety, flashbacks, and emotional numbness.

Symptoms of Combined Grief and Trauma

Intrusive Thoughts: Nightmares and vivid, distressing memories of the death.

Avoidance: Trying to avoid places, people, or thoughts related to the loss.

Physiological Stress: Panic, high blood pressure, dizziness, and insomnia.

Complicated Grief: Persistent inability to function in daily life, severe emotional flooding, or numbness.

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How do we work through it?

•Safety (emotional and physical)

•Transparency/Choice (you decide your participation based on transparency and trust)

•Collaboration (shared experience, not hierarchy)

•Empowerment (your strengths matter)

•Cultural humility (your story is valid)

Trauma Informed Care focuses on:

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Coping Strategies

Grounding (5-4-3-2-1 technique)

Routine and structure

Talking with trusted supports

Creative expression (writing, art, music)

Movement (walking, stretching)

Rest and nourishment

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Does Grief Change Us?

A permanent sense that something is missing

Lingering wounds or trauma connected to the loss

Shifted beliefs about fairness and safety in life

Yes—grief often changes us.

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Unexpected Growth

Deeper compassion and empathy for others
Stronger appreciation for what truly matters
New connections and meaningful relationships
Greater self awareness
Increased Resilience

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Where to seek help?

Santa Clara Mental Health Crisis Line

408-885-6789

Text or Dial

988

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Any questions?