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Helping Children Manage Stress and Anxiety

Would you like to help manage stress and anxiety? In this workshop, we will explore the causes and effects, signs to look out for, prevention strategies, and how to effectively address your child’s stress and anxiety.

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Anxiety Disorders vs. Anxious

  • Anxiety is a normal aspect of human emotion
  • If anxious feelings impact school, personal life, or health the student MAY have an anxiety disorder
  • ALL students can benefit from a toolbox of strategies to manage anxiety
  • 1 in 4 people have anxiety related conditions

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Causes for Anxious Behaviors

  • Low self esteem
  • Perfectionism
  • Out of Routine/Lack of Consistency
  • Changes to the Family Dynamic
  • Social Pressures
  • A Specific Fear
  • New experiences

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Symptoms of Anxiety

  • Worrying frequently
  • Difficulty relaxing
  • Feeling tired or on edge frequently
  • Sleeplessness
  • Headaches, stomachaches, dizziness
  • Increased insistence on routines and sameness

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What does Anxiety Look Like at School?

  • “Worrywart” & “what ifs?”
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Easily discouraged
  • Unrealistic fears over multiple routine events
  • Perfectionism, spend hours on school work
  • Irritability, low frustration tolerance
  • Need lots of approval, reassurance
  • Super compliant, afraid to displease teacher
  • Lack of participation in class
  • Attendance issues

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Anxiety in Gifted Students

  • Creative thinking gone awry
  • Advanced thinking without life experience
  • Tendency for increased sensitivity
  • Tendency for perfectionism
  • Book: Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students

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Myths & Misconceptions about Anxiety

  • The child can stop anxiety if he/she wants to
  • Anxiety is selective to the situation
  • The child is being manipulative
  • The child is getting a lot of attention
  • Anxious children need medication
  • All rituals/obsessions are OCD

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The Goal is not to eliminate Anxious Feelings but to learn how to manage the feelings so they don’t impede your life.

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Support Strategies

  • YAMA (You And Me Alone) time, rewards for desired behavior
  • Teaching by example
  • Calming space & calming actions
  • Setting limits; reducing avoidance
  • Proactive coaching
  • Self-reliance - you can choose!

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Developing a Growth Mindset

  • What is the Growth Mindset?
  • Why Teach Neuroplasticity to Kids?
  • What is Self Esteem?

When kids understand neuroplasticity, their perception of their own abilities also changes. It becomes much easier for them to embrace mistakes, obstacles and challenges.

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Children’s Books

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Effective Praise Should :

Be Sparing, specific and sincere

Praise the process, rather than the person

Provide positive information about your child’s competence

Avoid heavy reliance on social comparisons

Convey realistic expectations

Be encouraging rather than evaluative

Focus on character and effort rather than achievements alone

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Don’t Say This, Say That

You’re so smart!

I can see you worked hard on this!

It’s okay. Maybe you’re just not cut out for this

It seems like it’s time to try a new strategy

You’re a natural at that!

I like watching you do that.

That’s right! You did that so quickly and easily; great job!

It looks like that was too easy for you. Let’s find something challenging so your brain can grow.

That’s not right. Are you paying attention in class? It seems like you’re not even trying.

That’s not right. You don’t understand this yet. What strategies can you try to understand it better?

That was really hard. I’m so glad it’s over and you don’t have to do it again.

That was really hard. Your effort has paid off! Next time, you’ll be ready for this sort of challenge

You have a real talent for writing. You should take a creative writing class because you’re so good at it.

You’ve worked hard to become a good writer. You should challenge yourself with an advanced class, and learn something you don’t know how to do yet.

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Actions Are More Powerful Than Words

No one is good at it in the beginning. Let me ask you some questions so we can work out what you’re missing

I’ll teach you a new strategy so you’ll have a way to move forward.

That might be your best by today’s standards, but as you get better, it will be your second best.

I’m NOT GOOD at this.

I GIVE UP

It’s GOOD ENOUGH.

I CAN’T MAKE this any BETTER.

This is TOO HARD.

I made a MISTAKE.

I just CAN’T DO that.

I’ll NEVER BE that smart.

Plan A DIDN’T WORK.

This is something you can do to make it better...

It’s meant to be hard. We grow by challenging ourselves.

Let’s work out why you made the mistake and see how to correct it.

I’ll show you how to train your brain so you are able to do it.

Being smart is something you learn, not something you are. Let me explain how to get smarter.

I’ll help you with some new strategies so you can create a different plan.

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Parent Resources

  • Your Anxious Child: How Parents and Teachers Can Relieve Anxiety in Children by John S. Dacey
  • Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step by Step Guide for Parents by Ronald Rapee, Ann Wgnall, Susan Spence and Heidi Lyneham
  • What to Do When Good Enough Isn’t Good Enough: The Real Deal on Perfectionism, Thomas S. Greenspon

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Books

Mindfulness:

  • Yoga & mindfulness: practices for children - Jennifer Cohen Harper
  • Listening to my body - Gabi Garcia
  • The Lemonade Hurricane: A story of mindfulness and meditation - Licia Morelli
  • Sitting Still Like A Frog: Eline Snel

Worries & Anxiety

  • Scardies Away - Stacy Fiorile
  • What to do when you worry too much - Dawn Huebner
  • When my worries get too big: a relaxation book for children who live with anxiety - Kari Dunn Buron
  • Wilma Jean the Worry Machine - Julia Cook
  • What to do when you’re scared and worries - James Crist
  • Wemberly worried - Kevin Henkes

Separation Anxiety

  • Do I have to go to school today? - Larry Shles
  • I don’t want to go to school - Nancy Pando

Making Mistakes & Perfectionism

  • What to do when mistakes make you quake - Claire A. B. Freeland and Jacuqueline B. Toner
  • The girl who never made mistakes - mark pett and gary rubinstein
  • Beautiful oops - Barney Saltzberg
  • Dr Seuss Horray for Diffendoofer Day
  • Your fantastic elastic brain - JoAnn Deak �