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BUILDING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS WORKSHOP

FOR PARENTS

Facilitators: Nerida Kiprotich - Year 1 Team Leader

Jordy Velasco - Primary Counsellor

Grow. Discover. Dream.

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CONTENT

Building a love of learning with your child

Recognising, accepting and expressing feelings

Raising socially confident children

01

02

03

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TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28

Recognising, accepting and expressing feelings

SESSION 1

Grow. Discover. Dream.

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ICE BREAKER

Getting to know us

Introduce yourself to the others at your table

Your name
What would you like to get out of this workshop?
Names and ages of your child/children.
Hobby or something you like to do.
One joy of parenting.
One challenge of parenting.

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PARENTING IS NOT AN EASY JOB

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BUILDING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

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BUILDING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

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STOP BEING AFRAID OF FEELINGS

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ZONES OF REGULATION

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BUILDING A COPING SKILLS TOOLBOX

Jordy

Building a Coping Skills Toolbox will help your child to build resilience and to thrive when dealing with strong feelings. As well as identifying things that will help him during periods of distress.
Self-soothing (provide comfort through five senses)
Distraction (taking your mind off the problem for a while)
Opposite action (doing something the opposite of your impulse that’s consistent with a more positive emotion).
Emotional awareness (identifying and expressing feelings)
Mindfulness (tools for centering and grounding yourself in the present moment)
Crisis plan (adult support, team support)
Discuss which strategies work for them when feeling under stress. Share: 5 minutes
Explain and model breathing techniques (lazy 8, rainbow, 6 sides, palm breathing). Give it a try and ask a volunteer to share how they felt.

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ACTIVITY: Building our own toolkit

Strengths

Based on the character strengths list as many as you can see on your child.

Interests

List all of your child’s interests.

Coping Strategies

Based on your child’s strengths and interests develop 2 coping strategies that might work for him/her.

CHILD’S NAME

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ACTIVE LISTENING

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EXPECTED/UNEXPECTED SCALE 1-5

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CHILDREN DO BETTER WHEN THEY FEEL BETTER

CONVENTIONAL METHODS	POSITIVE DISCIPLINE METHODS
Praise “I’m so proud of you!” Rewards such as candy, toys, or whatever they want	Validating their feelings and listening to them
Patronizing, denying feelings “You’ll feel better”, “You’re OK”	Helping them discover their own resources
Rescuing or fixing.	Giving limited choices and responsibilities
Not allowing them to experience feeling upset or disappointed.	Empowering them by having faith in them
Giving in to their demands.	Allowing them to develop their “disappointment muscles” so they can feel capable
Making them happy at all times.	Giving unconditional LOVE
Over-protecting them so they never suffer.	Providing opportunities to help and contribute

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ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES

Nerida

Why is it important? Establishing boundaries create trust and build healthy relationships. Provides a safety and secure environment. Makes things predictable and reduces confusion and thus decreases anxiety.
Boundaries are a way to honor ourselves and our needs.
Every family is different (values, essential agreements, routines…) What fits you might not fit the other and it is ok. Agreements across adults must be agreed and communicated. E.g. - eating dinner the table/no screens while eating (not walking around).
Provide time for them to read and reflect on: How to Set Healthy Boundaries for Your Children.
Summarize: Model - be consistent - there are non-negotiables - patience.
When we voice a limit or boundary it is not the same as a demand. It’s telling someone what you prefer and expect from them. Where you stand on something. You are not demanding anything, or telling them they are wrong. You are just asserting your own values, your desires or your limits.

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WHY SELF-CARE IS SO IMPORTANT

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FAMILY MEETING TRAINING PLAN

Once/week (establish a tradition)
Decisions should be made by consensus on an agenda item (solutions that are respectful to everyone).
Review next week’s activities.
Don’t end a meeting without planning a fun activity during the coming week.
End the meeting by doing something fun together as a family. Don’t watch TV unless it’s a program that everybody looks forward to. Take time to discuss and share what you watched.
Clear table or living room (no distractions, no phones).

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THIS WEEK’S PARENTING RESOURCES

Everyday Parenting: The ABCs of Child Rearing

Center for Effective Parenting

ParentClub.scot

Jordy

Share list of websites and books.
Positive Discipline Parenting program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults. Parenting with Positive Discipline means being kind and firm at the same time, which is effective long-term and helps children feel a connection - a sense of belonging and significance.
Love and Logic Approach to parenting around the science of caring and respectful relationships.
Julia Cook Nationally recognized as an award-winning children’s book author and parenting expert, and her books have been referenced in such publications as Parent’s Magazine, The New Yorker, The Huffington Post… The goal behind Cook’s work is to actively involve young people in fun, memorable stories and teach them to become lifelong problem solvers.
InfoAboutKids.org This website is a clearinghouse of behavioural science on children and adolescents, developed by the Consortium for Science-Based Information on Children, Youth and Families. Every resource has been vetted by psychologists to ensure its advice is based on solid research and is bias-free.
Everyday Parenting: The ABCs of Child Rearing Free online parenting course. It provides 20 how-to videos explaining parenting techniques that address problem behaviours at home and school.
Center for Effective Parenting Provides parenting information links. Family fun sites, mother specific, father specific, new and expectant parents, educational issues and general parenting information.
ParentClub.scot Provides parenting information addressing all developmental stages (expectant parents to teenagers).

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SESSION WRAP UP KEY WORDS

BUILDING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

EXPECTED/UNEXPECTED BEHAVIOURS

ZONES OF REGULATION

ALL FEELINGS ARE OK

COPING TOOLS

ACTIVE LISTENING IS CRUCIAL

ESTABLISHING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

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EXIT TICKET

NEXT SESSION

Write on a post-it something you would like further support with.
Think of one thing that you are going to implement at home based on today’s conversation.

For our next session (Tuesday, March 14) don’t forget to:

Share the coping strategies toolbox profile that you created with your child and allow them to add 2 more things.
Practice the skills that we discussed and let us know how it went.
Based on what we discuss about family meetings establish your first family meeting and share with us how did it go.

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GALLERY WALK

Grow. Discover. Dream.

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VISUALS BOARD

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VISUALS BOARD

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VISUALS BOARD

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VISUALS BOARD

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VISUALS BOARD

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SAMPLE OF A CALM CORNER

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RESOURCES

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RESOURCES

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RESOURCES

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QUESTIONS

Grow. Discover. Dream.

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QUESTIONS

What can parents do if their child refuses to talk about his feelings or simply withdraws?

Bring it as part of the daily routine. Sentence starters shared on the display board can help you drive the conversation. It is normal that sometimes we are not ready to talk however acknowledge that talking about our feelings is okay and that all feelings are okay.

How to work on kid’s focus and distraction issues?

Hold on this question since on our third and last session we will be addressing it on ‘Building Love of Learning with your Child’.

How to train children to be self-disciplined?

Today we started setting the foundations around this topic. Next Tuesday we will provide you with strategies on how to develop those life skills on our children.

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QUESTIONS

4. What could I do if my child is really ‘annoying’?

First take care of yourself. If you’ve lost your temper step back. Choose your battles. When this is happening try finding a pattern to that behaviour. Tools like ‘A Bug and A Wish’ and/or ‘I Statements’ might be very helpful.

5. How to respond if the kid said I don’t want to go to school?

Apply what we learned today. Explore why. Acknowledge - name it, tame it - coping strategies.

6. Separation anxiety.

Be consistent, implement 1:1 special time. Apply active listening, acknowledge - name it, tame it - coping strategies. Stop being afraid of those feelings, establish healthy boundaries.

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QUESTIONS

7. How to make him learn to speak for himself? Express his views?

Family meetings are a great opportunity. Make this part of your routine. Instead of solving things for him bring the questions and prompting to him. Remember to be consistent and to build a skill practice - practice - practice and provide a month to at least sync in. Try to avoid rescuing and make him feel empowered. Apply all the strategies that as a school we are constantly reinforcing with them and that are part of our foundational practices.

8. How do we reinforce learning outcomes at home?

On our third session on March 28 we would be covering this topic. Stay tuned.

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