What You Really Need To Know About Sex

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A Red Pill Guide For Boys

Part 12:

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Rejection

Rejection is Inevitable

Since evolution has given to men the responsibility for initiating mating in most cases, it falls to us to “make the first move”. This is especially scary in our current political climate.

Yet the line between Alpha and Beta is drawn between those men who make that move and those who don’t. “No guts, no glory”. If you do not take the risk of declaring your erotic intentions to a girl, and risk her rejection, then you are unlikely to have a relationship with that girl. There is no way around this. Indeed, it is one of the elements of dating that some women find most exciting. But you WILL be rejected by girls, as has every man. It is how you deal with that rejection that is important.

“Rejection is an integral aspect of being male.” Rollo Tomossi

Rejection Is Natural

The important thing to remember about rejection is that it is natural; we are not destined to mate with the first person that we kiss, and even exciting relationships may not work out. When we, as men, make a romantic approach to a woman and make ourselves vulnerable by declaring our interest in some way, we take the risk of that interest not being reciprocated.

WHY it is not reciprocated is unimportant. Once you have declared your interest and she rejects you, she is unlikely to change her mind. That’s not because of any personal fault of yours. Nor is it a wholesale criticism of your Game. That is the opinion of ONE GIRL . . . and how you deal with the rejection of that one girl is important.

Rejection Is Painful

Rejection hurts us, emotionally. When we offer ourselves to a girl and she rejects that offer, it feels as sharply personal as a knife in the gut. It undermines our confidence and makes us doubt our self-worth. Rejection stings us at our masculine core, and we have evolved masculine means of dealing with such rejection.

The masculine ideal of sexuality is often sexual access to beautiful women without the risk of rejection - hence the popularity of prostitution. But the key to dealing with rejection is to avoid anger and change your focus. Indulging in anger is unproductively dwelling on the rejection. Personalizing your anger is even worse. MOVE ON.

...But Rejection is Good For You

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Why? Because Rejection means you took a shot. You may have failed, but you took the shot. Rejection is better than regret, and from our failures as men we learn to refine our Game based on our rejections. It is better to learn how to deal with rejection than to learn how to avoid rejection - by avoiding interactions with girls. That way lies celibacy.

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The Friendzone IS Rejection

Make no mistake: when a woman says “Let’s Just Be Friends” (LJBF), she’s rejecting you. That doesn’t mean she’s likely to change her mind if you keep hanging around long enough - far from it. Desire cannot be negotiated. If she wants to “be friends”, or even “Very Special Friends” without a sexual component, you can expect her to try to make use of you like a boyfriend without gaining any traditional boyfriend benefits (i.e. sex).

The Friendzone is a kind of state of permanent rejection. Too many dudes don’t realize how much being in eternal orbit around a girl in the ‘Zone is damaging them socially. If a girl “wants to be friends”, the only proper responses are “With benefits?”, “I don’t think you need another girlfriend”, and “I have more self-respect than that, thank you” . . . and walk away.

The Rejection Test

Believe it or not, some women reject ALL men at first...just to see how they cope with rejection. If they are cool about it, it builds desire in these women. If they freak out, they lose points. As unfair as that is, that’s also why you shouldn’t fear that first rejection a woman puts out. If it’s a challenge to overcome her objections, then rise to it. If she’s legitimately not-interested, she’ll usually let you know. Remember, if a girl is into you, she’s not going to confuse you. If you hit that second rejection, move on . . . and remember it. It might be helpful later.

Coping With Rejection: Distance

One of the worst things you can do after a girl has rejected you is hang around her trying to convince her to un-reject you. Once rejected, the best thing you can do for yourself is to put distance - emotional and physical - between you. Remember, You cannot negotiate her desire.

Dwelling on the rejection does no one any good. By putting space between you after the rejection, you give yourself space to heal and regroup. If necessary, utterly ignore the girl, or at least “turn down the temperature” in your relations if you cannot ignore her. Do something else. Go fishing. There is no need to react spitefully. Simple indifference will be sufficient. But stop being helpful to her.

Coping With Rejection: Objectification

The other common masculine response to sexual rejection is Objectification. That is, seeing the girl who rejected you as merely one of many possible choices. While feminism and society in general has lashed out against Objectification as a negative, it is actually a very important component of masculine sexuality.

Once we have been rejected, reducing the importance of the person who rejected us is psychologically important, and objectifying her by class is a helpful tool to overcome the pain of rejection.

It might not be the “polite” thing to do, but it’s certainly the healthy thing to do. If you cannot objectify the girl who rejected you, you cannot move on to the next girl.

Coping With Rejection: Solitude

When women are emotionally wounded, they often immediately seek company. When men feel emotionally rejected, they usually seek solitude, at least for a while. The “Man Cave” is a theoretical space we construct when our feelings are hurt and we want to be left alone. It is not a flaw in our emotional character.

By pursuing solitude and activity - like video games or sports - without additional human interaction we give ourselves the mental and emotional space to regain our composure and our confidence. This solitude is a perfectly healthy and normal response to serious rejection. It is during these moments of solitude that a man re-assess his Game and makes decisions about improving it.

Coping With Rejection: Camaraderie

After a period of solitude and reflection after rejection, a man will often seek out the company of other dudes to rekindle his masculine identity.

Despite common joking about repressed homoeroticism, masculine bonding, particularly in small groups, is a perfectly healthy and normal response to personal rejection.

If sexual rejection is a challenge to your masculinity, then know that your male identity can be bolstered through the camaraderie of your male friends. Their respect and admiration can be highly restorative, if occasionally destructive.

Coping With Rejection: Revenge

It is tempting to look for ways to avenge our frustration and anger at rejection. Needless to say, this can lead down a dark and unproductive road. When we turn to revenge to soothe our rejection, we are projecting the problem on others, not taking responsibility for our own issues.

The fault may, indeed, be in others - but the responsibility for our rejection lies with ourselves alone. While that may be a painful fact to face, it’s also a vitally important one.

Indulging in petty revenge proves that you are still affected by the rejection and not in control of yourself. Petty revenge rarely gives you what you want. True revenge is living the way you want to, indifferent to the petty rejections of the past.

The Nuclear Rejection

Every now and then your approach is met not just with rejection, but public, loud, and intended-to-be-humiliating rejection by a woman. When this happens your best move is to be utterly stoic, endure the storm, and stand on your dignity. Remember, YOU DID NOTHING WRONG IN APPROACHING HER.

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Also remember that 25% of women have an undiagnosed mental illness. A nuclear rejection is a good indicator that someone needs some therapy. Feel free to mention as much to every dude in the room after she’s done.

Why Cope With Rejection?

As men, it is our lot to be rejected by women for sex and companionship. That’s okay. The fact is that most women ARE unsuitable for you, and the ones who reject you are rarely worth the effort. But that’s the point of rejection: only by subjecting yourself to many women will your understanding of female psychology and your own preferences grow. Men thrive from the experience of the Sexual Market Place, when the are proactive, even if it’s painful sometimes.

That which does not kill you makes you stronger. And for every few rejections you endure, your ability to hone your Game grows significantly. So don’t fear rejections: value them. Once you learn proper Game, you’ll have few enough to contend with.

Next:

Part 13:

Consent