What influences us?
Choices �Session 3
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Review the ground rules we created
What’s
working?
Do we need to �add or change anything?
Remembering our ground rules
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Influence
Today we’ll look at how we are influenced …
Our earliest behaviours form by imitating others.
Generally, there are three groups we look to as sources of social norms
The Close �(i.e. family, friends)
The Many �(peer groups, �including virtual groups �we belong to)
The Powerful �(influencers �e.g. social media)
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Influence
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Ella’s Story, Episode 2
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Circles of Influence
Who has the most influence on Ella?
Most influential
Likely to follow their example with little question
Least influential
Unlikely to follow their example under any circumstances
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Influence or trust?
In the first activity we looked at who was influencing Ella. We will now look at who she should trust.
Once again the episode opens with Ella remembering past events.
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Influence �or trust?
Why does Ella respond so naively to the offer from Logan in the text?
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Influence or trust?
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While Ella is chatting with Logan, who appears to be offering all she has ever wanted, �her Mum knocks on door. During their conversation, she casually dismisses what Ella is saying.
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Influence or trust?
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What’s happening in this scene?
How might this make us feel?
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Influence or trust?
Should Ella have confided in her Mum?
Why didn’t she?
What made her avoid trying to speak to a person close to her?
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Influence or trust?
What feelings might have led her to make that choice?
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Influence or trust?
Now we’ll reflect on Ella’s dilemma, thinking about her relationships and the trust she places in others.
Circles of trust are a way of representing the relationships we establish, placing the people we know in a series of circles that differ from each other by the degree of trust, intimacy, attention and care we put into each of them. The circles express, therefore, the type of relationship we establish with people and how close or far from us we perceive them.
We are in the centre of that circle but for this exercise we are going to imagine we are Ella.
Who should Ella trust? Place the characters in the order of most to least trustworthy based upon what you know about them.
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Circles of Trust
Self
Mistrust
Little trust
Low trust
Medium trust
Friends
Wider peers
Acquaintances
Strangers
Intimate trust
Confidantes
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Influence or trust?
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What have we learned about influence?
Today we have learned:
Every time we expand our circles of trust, including other people in them, we tear down �a psychological wall. Having people at our side we can trust is beneficial to our physical and mental health, not only because they will help us when we need it most, �but also because their mere existence is a source of security. Having solid support networks will no doubt enable us to better deal with adversity in our lives.
However, allowing untrustworthy people to move into our innermost circle will expose us emotionally, leaving us vulnerable. If we allow toxic people to camp in our intimate circles we will be at their mercy and, sooner or later, their behaviour will end up taking its toll.
This means we must be extremely careful in choosing the people we let into our intimacy. It’s not about having a suspicious attitude or general distrust of others, thereby closing ourselves in a circle so small that it threatens to suffocate us psychologically, but of being able to choose the people we want by our side in life, and not let it be life that randomly places someone next to us. It’s about choosing those people who we can trust to bring out the best of us and, of course, become a person who also brings light to others.
Next time we will look at the basic psychological needs, the things that happen in our brain, that cause us to act or react in particular ways.
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