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Back to School Night HIB

Empowering Our Children to End Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying

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Elementary School Anti-bullying Specialists

SOMSD HIB Anti-bullying Specialists and Coordinator

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The Anti-bullying Specialist (ABS) performs the investigation in each bullying incident.

The ABS interviews all students involved in the incident as well as any adult or student witnesses.

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Tuscan School ABS: Ms. Angeli Lillman

Anti-Bullying Coordinator: Dr. Kevin F. Gilbert

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The Legal NJ Definition of H I B

    • Any gesture, any written, verbal or physical act, or any electronic communications, whether it be a single incident or a series of incidents that:
    • Is reasonably perceived as being motivated by any actual or perceived characteristic, such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, or a mental, physical, or sensory disability; or by any other distinguishing characteristic;
    • Any school sponsored function, on a school bus, or off school grounds
    • Substantially disrupts or interferes with the orderly operation of the school or the rights of other students
    • And ONE OF THESE:
      • A reasonable person should know, that the act(s) will cause physical or emotional harm
      • Has the effect of insulting or demeaning any student or group of students
      • Creates a hostile educational environment for the pupil by interfering with a pupil's education or by severely or pervasively causing physical or emotional harm to the student

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Reporting Procedures

How to report an HIB:

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Report an HIB online

�Let a teacher know

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Let the school principal know

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Let a counselor or social worker know

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Conflict v. Bullying

Conflict

  • Mutually competitive or opposing action or engagement
  • Includes disagreements, arguments, or fights
  • Intent is not to humiliate, embarrass, or demean
  • A normal part of growing up

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Bullying

  • Is one-sided
  • Causes harm
  • Is meant to diminish the sense of self-worth of the target
  • Continues even when the target becomes distressed or objects to it
  • Is linked to a real or perceived characteristic

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Conflict v. Bullying

Conflict

  • During a conflict, name-calling, threats and other conduct that might look like bullying can occur.
  • However, a conflict and bullying are different.
  • Unlike bullying, during a conflict people are equally involved in some type of disagreement.
  • Conflict is considered mutual, meaning everyone is more or less evenly involved.

Bullying

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  • Victims of unwanted or uninvited aggression
  • The aggressor’s behavior would lead a person to reasonably believe that the aggressor is motivated by a desire to physically or emotionally hurt someone
  • The aggression is one-sided; and
  • The behavior is not an attempt to positively or negatively address or resolve a problem.
  • This is based on a motivation about someone’s characteristics

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Before You Post…

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Helping Develop Relationship Skills

  • Help children learn how to navigate conflict, disagree, advocate in an argument
    • The “I message”
    • Listening and hearing others
    • Owning their part
    • Forgive and forget

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How to build these skills

  • Practice what to do during a conflict
  • Read books that discourage prejudice
  • Read books about people different from your family
  • Learn together about social issues
  • Talk openly about acceptance of others
  • Continue to learn about people who are different from you
  • Help your child look at situations from multiple perspectives

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Helping Develop Social Emotional Skills

  • Develop Conflict Resolution Skills: help children share concerns and develop solutions when having a conflict with a friend
  • Ask questions: get curious about your child’s interactions
  • Make your views on bullying clear (teachers and families)
  • Accept children’s mistakes and help them grow