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The Cautionary Tale of Coercive Abuse in Domestic Relationships

Milo Art

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Key Points

  • Interpersonal issue influenced by social norms

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  • Physical and sexual abuse can be outcomes of coercion.

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  • Preventing coercive abuse could save lives.

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  • Psychological Abuse v Coercive Abuse

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Theory

  • There is a pattern of coercive abuse within conservative ideologies.

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Strict psychological standards ->

Feelings of incompetence ->

Desperate desire for acceptance ->

Do whatever it takes ->

Cover up the shame by forcing others to adhere to the same strict psychological standards ->

Cultivate a culture of coercive tactics ∞

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Objective

  • Know the risk factors.

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  • Find the pattern:
    • Asymptomatic Stage
    • Symptomatic Stage
    • Delayed effects

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Risk Factors

  • Conservative Ideologies

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  • Gender roles

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  • Controlling attitudes

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  • Fear-focused religious beliefs grounded through rituals

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  • No other significant demographics were found.

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Asymptomatic Stage

  • Strict psychological standards

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  • Bribery/ promises

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  • Love bombing

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  • Strict rules

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  • I will love you even if you kill someone if you love me with the same passion.
  • I promise to buy you anything you ever want for as long as we are together.

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  • Love me unconditionally.
  • You must stay with me.

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Symptomatic Stage

  • Feelings of incompetence
  • Insults

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  • Desperate for acceptance
  • Unrealistic expectations

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  • Do whatever it takes
  • Threats

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  • "You're just some asshole incapable of love."
  • "Man up. Men don't cry."
  • "If you prefer going out with your friends so much, I'll just leave."

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  • I'm a bad person. I can't love.

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  • I cannot feel emotion.
  • I will not go out with my friends.

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Delayed effects

  • PTSD
  • OCD
  • Paranoia
  • Schizophrenia
  • Generalized Anxiety

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  • Trust issues
  • Lowered self-care

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  • Risk of repeated abuse
  • Risk of becoming an abuser
  • Cover up the shame
  • Cultivate a culture of coercive tactics ∞

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Discussion

The risk factor of conservatism,

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The silent but damaging strict standards,

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Painful feelings of incompetence, unbearable desires, and desperation

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The need to cover up shame

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*This is the cultural cultivation of coercive abuse

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