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Conflict Exits

By Clare Fowler, MDR, EdD

Including Data from Doctoral Dissertation Research from Pepperdine University

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Creating Positive Conflicts

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Examining Exits

Sometimes the first exit works.

Sometimes you try, and try, …. And try … until you find the right one.

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Conflict Path

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Best Exit?

GOOD COMMUNICATION - honest, good listening, open body language, articulating your interests AND listening to the other’s interests.

I STATEMENTS

ACTIVE LISTENING

LISTEN RESPECTIVELY

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More Exits

Options for Mutual Gain

Contribution

Brainstorm

Curiosity

Time

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Exit Tools

GO THROUGH IT

THERMOMETER

STICK IN THE MUD

GARBAGE CAN

STRAIGHT, NO CHASER

ELF

APOLOGY and AWAY

Just the Facts

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Go Through It

Healthy

Relationship

Difficulty

Avoid difficulty, �Pain or anger

Healthy

Relationship

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Thermometer

  • 0-10 (levels of stress)
  • Lesley’s slide

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Excited

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Stick in the Mud

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Garbage Can Policy

  • Garbage Can
  • People Want to Keep Things Clean—
    • Give them a place to do that
  • How do we know that a garbage can is “open,” not “full?”

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Straight, No Chaser

  • Say what you have to say straight, keep it clean
  • When you have an interest or concern, the cleaner you can make it, the less there is for people to argue about, the more chance you will be heard

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ELF

  • Early
  • Logical
  • Final

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Apology and Away

  • Regret
  • Responsibility
  • Remedy
  • Sincerity
  • Contribution
  • Window of Forgiveness

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Just the Facts, Ma’am

  • Negotiate Numbers
  • Review Facts
  • Check-in

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  • Split the Difference
  • Objective Standards

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Exit Tools

GO THROUGH IT

THERMOMETER

STICK IN THE MUD

GARBAGE CAN

STRAIGHT, NO CHASER

ELF

APOLOGY and AWAY

Just the Facts

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