EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE
Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
Through the talks so far, we have been learning how to foster better marriages.
But in marriage, we can expect to have difficulties and disagreements.
The husband-wife relationship is a love relationship.
b) It is important to express that love.
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
Communication in marriage is more than just learning a skill. It is not sterile or functional.
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
b) Communication is one concrete expression of love. It is a very important tool for building the marriage relationship.
A fixed self-image or image of your spouse.
a) If your perception of yourself is that you are always “right” or “better” and that your spouse is always “wrong,” communication will not work.
b) Solution: Keep yourself open to the other’s point of view, and know that your way is not always right or better.
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
Obstacles to good communication.
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2. Not listening to one another.
a) Ways of doing this:
* Being selective in listening.
* Not spending enough effort to understand the “message” and not just the words.
* Preparing a rebuttal before the other has finished speaking.
* Not paying attention to what the other is saying; being disturbed while communicating.
* For the husband, being afraid that he would always be expected to have an answer.
b) Solution: God gave you two ears and only one mouth. Listen!
Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
Being resigned to the current situation.
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
a) He never talks; she just never stops talking.
b) We don’t have anything to talk about.
c) We don’t seem to have the time.
Some differences between men and women.
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a) Men need to communicate verbally less than women.
b) Men deal more in ideas and concepts, women more in personal feelings and reactions.
c) Men tend to see the whole picture and can live with a problem, while women want it dealt with immediately.
Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
Handling disagreements in marriage (or how to have a successful fight).
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
1. Deal with issues before they build up. If we talk freely and regularly, it will be rare to have a big problem.
2. Be objective and focus on the real issue.
3. Have the right motivation. Our goal is unity based on love, not on determining who is right or wrong.
Handling disagreements in marriage (or how to have a successful fight).
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
4. When bringing up a problem, do not start with an accusation.
5. Learn to accept correction without being defensive. Do not question your spouse’s basic love and commitment to you.
6. Do not handle issues when you are angry or tired. These are just some ways. Later you will develop more wisdom on how to handle disagreements. But what if a disagreement actually turns into a fight?
Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
Handling disagreements in marriage (or how to have a successful fight).
7. Both husband and wife should agree that whoever recognizes that the disagreement has taken a bad turn will immediately begin to change things but repenting for his/her responsibility in it.
8. Afterwards, evaluate the argument.
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9. Sometimes you have a disagreement and there seems to be no way to resolve it.
So we have looked at the obstacles to communication, and handling disagreements. Now what do we talk about?
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
Conclusion
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Marriage Enrichment Retreat | Session 5
1. Because we are human and are living an intense life together, we will have to deal with disagreements from time to time.
2. Communication, a very important element in our life together, is something we need to learn.
3. Seek the help of brothers and sisters if you need it.
4. Have faith in God.