Grief Workshop

Rebecca White, MSW PPSC

Monte Vista High School

2022-2023

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Made in collaboration with a student JF

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What is Grief?

• A natural response to loss, emotional suffering
• Highly individual experience, highly universal experience
• Can’t have “more” or “less” grief than someone else
• No “proper” way to grieve
• Overwhelming
• No timetable
• Anticipatory Grief, Disenfranchised Grief, Complicated Grief
• Can last days, weeks, months, years
• https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grief-process-worksheet

Loss

• We grieve different types of loss; any loss can be difficult
• Death of a loved one
• Breakups, divorce, loss of friendship
• Loss of a job, role
• Loss of financial stability
• Death of a pet
• Loss of a dream
• Loss of safety or comfort
• Loss of a personal belonging

Navigating Different Responses to the Same Loss

• Sometimes you knew a different person than others knew
• They maybe knew a different version of the same person so their response will be different from yours
• Services being for the deceased v. services for the bereaved

Other People’s Reactions to your Loss

Cultural Considerations

• Let’s take a moment to explore and reflect on how our experiences of grief and our perceptions of mental health are influenced and shaped by our cultural backgrounds
• Racial and ethnic groups
• Religious groups
• Political affiliations
• American culture and media
• Individual family culture, parenting
• Friend group/social exposure
• Your personal philosophy and culture and experiences
• Does your experience of mental health match that presented by MVHS, or does it differ? Do you feel represented and understood?
• What can we discuss together to make the rest of this presentation most accessible and applicable to you?
• What can I do to make space for you to share with me how the information I share applies or does not apply to you?

Different Types of Mourning Ceremonies - Funerals

• Planned service might differ from your ideal experience
• Or having an awareness that this might be others’ experiences
• Cultural consideration
• Complicated/multiple cultures
• Find ways/subtle ways to do what you need to do
• Rock example
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How Do We Experience Grief?

• Huge variety of emotional responses
• Sadness, Anger, Shock, Disbelief, Numbness, Guilt, Fear, Relief, Regret, Loneliness, Anxiety, Distress, Isolation
• Physical responses
• Fatigue, Nausea, Lowered Immunity, Weight Loss/Gain, Aches/Pains, Insomnia
• Where you were when you found out
• The bigger the loss, the bigger the reaction
• Consciously and Unconsciously
• There is no “typical” response
• Five Stages of Grief
• Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
• Disclaimer: Some find this helpful, some find it limiting; you might not experience it with these stages
• https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/my-stages-of-grief
• https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grief-sentence-completion

Grief in Real Life

• What does grief look like in your life?
• At home
• With Friends
• At night/when you’re alone
• In the classroom
• In sports
• Feeling like you have no time or space to grieve
• What can we do about that?
• Feeling misunderstood
• How to get help, connect, communicate
• The more you feel your feelings and talk about them, the easier it will become to communicate your feelings and needs to others
• Awareness of triggers

Flexibility and Empathy

• Humor
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Grief Coping

• Acknowledge your pain
• Prepare yourself for variety of emotions
• Understand that your feelings are unique
• Meet yourself where you’re at
• Self-talk, give self reminders of patience and time
• Mindfulness; Awareness of Thoughts, Feelings, Actions
• Reach out for support
• Take care of body/physical health
• Monitor self for symptoms of depression
• Grief Activities, Creativity
• Maintain Hobbies/Enjoyable Activities
• Plan Ahead for Triggers
• https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/tasks-of-mourning-quick-reference
• https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/tasks-of-mourning

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Communicating Your Needs

• Triggers, using triggers to your benefit when possible avoiding for safety
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Different Places to do Different Types of Processing

• What is appropriate for certain people/situations

Grief Activities

• Connecting with Others
• Creating memories or rituals
• Ask for Help
• Memory Box, Scrapbook
• Writing a Letter
• Goodbye, gratitude, resolving conflict
• https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/goodbye-letter
• Journaling
• Sense Memories
• Acrostics
• Writing poems, songs, stories
• Word list here
• https://www.dougy.org/resources/audience/teens

Getting Help

• Wellness Center at school
• Appointment with your counselor
• Talk to friends and family
• Therapy outside of school
• Individual or group counseling
• Level of anonymity in a group could ensure feeling of safety and openness
• Other mentors, religious groups
• Experiencing Symptoms of Depression
• Profound feelings of sadness, worthlessness, loneliness, guilt
• Self Isolation
• Feeling like life isn’t worth living
• Thoughts of hurting self or dying
• Acts of hurting self or suicide attempts
• Call 988, 211, 911
• Unsure if your grief experience is normal? Ask Ms. White, counselor, doctor

Resources/References

• https://www.dougy.org/resources/audience/teens ← Ms. White has met these folks, highly recommended
• https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
• https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guide/support-groups/what-is-grief
• https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/stress-coping/grief-loss/index.html
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/grief
• https://www.calvaryhospital.org/coping-with-grief-activities-for-children-teens/
• https://www.solacetree.org/grief-programs/teens/

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