1 of 14

How to Understand a Loved One's Involvement in a Cultic Group or Relationship

Michael Langone, PhD

2 of 14

Who are concerned about loved ones in groups?

At ICSA’s 2018 conference, 54% (n=99) of attendees who completed a survey had family members involved in cultic groups.

  • 41% of these persons had been born-or-raised in groups
  • 33% were 1st generation former members
  • 25% had never been in a cult (“classic family”)

3 of 14

Subjects to Explore

  • The concept “cult.”
  • Why do people become members of cultic groups?
  • Why do they stay in cultic groups?
  • Why do they leave cultic groups?
  • What recovery issues do people confront after they leave cultic groups?

​

4 of 14

The Concept Cult: Power in Relationships

“Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” – Lord Acton

Whenever there is a power differential in a relationship, there is a risk that power will be abused and people will be hurt.

  • Parent-Child
  • Teacher-Student
  • Clergy-Parishioner
  • Psychotherapist-Client

​

5 of 14

What is distinctive about the concept cult?

In practice the term is often applied to a wide range of abusive influence situations. However, what sets the concept “cult” apart is an emphasis on identity change, on conversion. (Ofshe & Singer – Two-generations paper).

As with other control situations, compliance is required. But the quintessential cult leader wants members to be “believers,” to change deep inside.

  • Orwell’s 1984: “I love Big Brother.”
  • Yeakley study

​

6 of 14

Leader’s Perspective

The cult leader wants people to obey and advance his/her agenda.

  • Baseline conformity tendencies may go a long way toward achieving compliance with many members.
  • Sweet-talk
  • Threats
  • Intimidation
  • Coercion
  • Kick out those who won’t get with the system (about 10%)

​

7 of 14

MacDonald’s “Bi-cameral Normative System”

When everything is going as the leader wants, the group is one big happy family. This state is governed by a benign set of rules. Outside observers will say, “What cult?”

But when there is questioning, dissent, or disobedience, another set of rules kicks in to “move the sheep back into the pen.” These rules aren’t so benign.

In some groups the benign rules may operate much more often than the malignant rules. (malignancy obscured by camaraderie)

That is why a key question in evaluating groups is:

How do they deal with dissent?

​

​

8 of 14

Cults usually have worldviews that cause conflict with the mainstream world

Worldview - The framework of ideas and beliefs through which an individual interprets the world and interacts with it. Basic assumptions and corollaries

  • “Guru is God incarnate.” - If guru sleeps with woman, it is for her benefit.
  • “Pastor Bob is anointed by God.” - If Pastor Bob says I must drop out of college, that must be God’s will.

Strategic process of deceit and manipulation (or socialization) induces person to adopt basic assumptions of group’s worldview. Person’s intelligence will deduce the rationalizations needed to paper-over contradictions.

“I kept putting my rationalizations on a shelf, until it collapsed.”

9 of 14

Why do people become members?

Born into or raised in the group (40% of former members attending recent ICSA conferences)

First Generation (join as adult or young adult) - none of these is necessary

  • Personal vulnerabilities
  • Open to change in lifestyle
  • Seductive recruitment
  • Promise of “specialness” (elitism)
  • “The buzz” - altered experiences - “noetic experiences”

10 of 14

Why stay?

  • Real benefits (especially in early stages) – sense of purpose, friendship, elitism, all the person knows
  • Social-psychological pressures
  • Indoctrination into a belief system that fosters us-vs-them attitude and fear of outside.
  • Isolation from information that would contradict group or increase internal conflict.

​

11 of 14

Why leave?

  • Some adapt or are chronically afraid to leave, so they do not leave.
  • Pressure to change identity can cause internal stress and conflict with cultic environment (“personality distortions”)
  • Disillusionment
  • Member gains access to information that group blocked
  • Personal conflicts with leader(s) and/or members
  • Perhaps 10% or more are kicked out
  • Intervention

​

12 of 14

Recovery Issue for all - identity change

  • Dependency → Independence
  • Obedience → Choosing
  • Closed system → Open system
  • Black-white → Gray nuance

​

13 of 14

Recovery Issues - born or raised

  • Social disconnection - leave friends and family behind.
  • Relationships with family and friends (shunning issues; resentment toward parents)
  • Adapting to mainstream world may be daunting and skill deficits (e.g., education) due to cult may magnify adjustment difficulties
  • Lack of financial resources (when most need help, can least afford to pay for it)
  • Trauma issues (sexual, physical, emotional abuse) - ACE study
  • Volatility, triggers, anger, anxiety, depression, grieving, decision-making, trust

​

14 of 14

Recovery Issues - First-Generation

  • Sense of betrayal (How could something that I thought was so wonderful turn out to be so horrible?)
  • Trauma issues, especially related to sexual and emotional abuse
  • Volatility, triggers, anger, anxiety, depression, grieving, decision-making, trust
  • Reconnecting to family and friends
  • Making up for lost years