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WELCOME TO THE HEALING SHAME WORKSHOP

HOSTED BY GREATER EAST BAY ACA (GEBACA) INTERGROUP

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2021, 11:00 A.M.-1:00 P.M. PT

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ACA SERENITY PRAYER

God/ Higher Power,

Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me.

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WORKSHOP GUIDELINES

No cross talk: Commenting on, or referring to, what another person has said.

Please do not use the “Chat” feature to comment on, acknowledge or praise while another person is sharing.

The workshop audio is being recorded and will be used as a resource for ACAs at www.gebaca.org. There will be no video of faces. We will pause recording during member share times.

Reach out to a co-host privately with any predatory concerns or issues that need addressing

A co-host will post reference links, slides, page #s, etc. in the Chat regularly throughout the workshop

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7TH TRADITION

7th tradition states: “Every ACA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.”

Proceeds from this workshop will go towards the WSO 2022 Annual Business Conference held hybrid (virtually and physically) in San Francisco, CA.

Please make contributions to Venmo @GEBACA and include Memo: Healing Shame or 9/11/21 Workshop

This information will be posted in the Chat box throughout the workshop.

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WHAT WILL HAPPEN DURING THIS WORKSHOP?

Today we will:

  • Define and explore what toxic shame is as it relates to Adult Children.
  • Our speakers will share their experience, strength and hope on aspects of toxic types of shame mentioned in the BRB and in the ACA steps: “shame hits” and making a “shame list” in 4th step inventory.
  • We will then discuss healthy shame and “shame busters,” and host a few exercises in which we have found helpful in healing toxic shame.
  • After each speaker and exercise, we will hold space for you to share your thoughts and insights.

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A QUICK NOTE:

Our expertise in the context of this workshop starts and stops with our own experiences as Adult Children in recovery.

We formed the features of this workshop based on our own understanding of shame as we have learned about it in our journey of ACA recovery.

Some of the exercises today do not come directly from the Big Red Book. Their focus, however, is on the ACA Solution, which is to reparent yourself with gentleness, humor, love and respect. Aligning them with Tradition 4 which states, “Each group is autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or ACA as a whole.” All works are referenced accordingly.

We encourage you participate to your comfort level and to take what you like and leave the rest.

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WHAT IS SHAME?

  • The definition for shame is being defined by the BRB

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  • Unhealthy Shame BRB p. 440 (Kindle p. 447)

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  • In ACA, shame takes the number one spot BRB p. 168 (p. 195 kindle)

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SHAME “HITS”

  • Shame "Hits" BRB p. 136-137 (Kindle p. 165)

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SHAME INVENTORY: STEP 4

  • Shame inventory/List BRB p. 168 (Kindle p. 196)

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  • "Shame Buster" BRB p. 152 (Kindle p. 180

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5-MINUTE BREAK

WE WILL RETURN AT:

Workshop guidelines/Reminders:

  • No cross talk: Commenting on, or referring to, what another person has said.
  • Do not use the “Chat” feature while other members are sharing
  • Reach out to co-host privately with any serious concerns that need addressing
  • A co-host will post reference links regularly throughout the workshop
  • Workshop audio is being recorded and will be used as a resource for ACAs at www.gebaca.org. We will pause recording during member share times.
  • 7th Tradition: Proceeds from this workshop will go towards the WSO 2022 Annual Business Conference held in San Francisco. Please make contributions to Venmo @GEBACA and include Memo: Healing Shame or 9/11/21 Workshop

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HEALTHY SHAME IS OKAY

  • Healthy Shame BRB p. 440 (kindle p. 447).

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  • Mirror Work w/ affirmations p. 444 (Kindle p. 450)

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3 CHAIR EXERCISE:

  1. The Criticizer
  2. The Criticized
  3. The Compassionate Observer

Dr. Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/about/

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MEDITATION: LAUGHING SHAME AWAY

  • Laughing Meditation
  • Adapted from this meditation on insight timer: https://insig.ht/jYtIEi1lsjb.
  • Link to ACA Circle for Insight Timer will be posted in the chat.

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AFFIRMATIONS�BRB P. 327-330 (KINDLE P. 345-347)�

It’s okay to give myself a break

It’s okay to feel angry

It’s okay to say I’m an Adult Child

It’s okay to not know everything

It’s okay to think about things differently than my familyIt’s okay to say “no” without feeling guilty

I will take time to become my own loving parent

It’s okay to detach with love

It’s okay to make mistakes and learn

It’s okay to say I love myself

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CLOSING MEDITATION�BRB P. 330 (KINDLE P. 347)

God/Higher Power,

Help me to be willing to recognize the Loving Parent inside of me. Help me integrate my Inner Child more actively into my daily life so that I remain awake spiritually. Grant me the courage to change the things I can. Grant me the wisdom of my Inner Child.

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CONTACT INFORMATION:

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  • Stephanie
  • GEBACA Events Officer
  • acausastephanie@gmail.com

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  • Liza
  • GEBACA Vice Chair
  • Liza.S.ACA@gmail.com
  • (305) 432-1330

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  • Samantha
  • Co-Host/Laughing Meditation
  • knotperfikt@gmail.com
  • (925) 787-8813

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