JOJOJS BISARRE AVENTRE: Phentum blud

Episod 1: Kono Dio Da Invadener

Oy, there some dead rich people over there, innit?

No, i hear a baby over there. It’s alive.

Imma go steal their money.

Are you… here to save me?

Uh yea sure ig

Thank you! My name is George Joestar.I’m in your debt!

Cool

12 years later…

Take that, stupid girl

Yea, why are you so big?

Hey! Stop that!

Who the heck are you???

Yea, and why are you so small?

My name is Jonathan Joestar! I want to be a gentleman!

And gentlemen don’t let hoodlums punch weirdly large women!

I’m literally petite and demure

To godzilla, maybe

Isn’t it 1880?

Screw you, jarold

I’m still here!

Ow ouch oof my bones

Hey, that was a really cool thing you just did.

Shut up! I didn’t do that because I liked you!

I did it because it was the right thing to do!

It’s not like I like you or anything, b-baka!

I don’t speak spanish what are you talking about

Meanwhile…

Dio, I’m dying

I know father

But I got a rich guy that’ll take real good care of you

I suspect I’ve been poisoned

Wait, what?

…

I hate you, father. You can suck a turd

I’m gonna destroy the joestar family and take their fortune

Or my name isn’t KONO DIO DA

Diego Brando

Later…

Sick backflip, dude

But… who are you?

Nice to meet you. My name is Dio.

Like… Ronnie James Dio?

He isn’t alive yet, you oaf.

Oh…

Well, my name is Jonathan Joestar!

What the hell is that

Oh, that’s just my dog Danny! He doesn’t bite. You can pet him if you w-

Woof

What the hell is wrong with you?

Stop fighting, boys.

Jonathan, this is your new brother

It is nice to meet you, Dio. Apologies about our dog

No sir, I’m sorry. I was just scared of it is all.

See, Jonathan? I’m sure Dio’s a perfectly nice boy.

Why don’t you come inside?

That sounds lovely

WTF

Inside…

Welcome to your new home, Dio.

Thank you ever so much for having me, Mr Joestar.

My goodness! What a little gentleman!

My son could learn a thing or two from you

WTF dad???

I love you like my own son already, Dio.

Prolly more, honestly

WTF DAD?!?!?!

Wth did I do to you???

OH SHI-

Well I gotta head up to my study now

You two play nice now

Screw you, Jonathan.

I’m gonna make your life a living hell and steal your place in your father’s heart.

And there’s nothing you can do about it

OW OUCH OOF MY BONES

That’s right. I’m in charge now.

Later…

Ok, almost getting shanked was pretty terrifying

But at least I can clear my head with a nice boxing match

And in the other corner we have Dio Brando!!!

Are you kidding me?

You know what? This could be a good thing!

We can bond over our shared love of the sport!

Aaaand BEGIN!

OW MY FRIGGIN EYE

Take a thumb to the eye, midget. I’m from the streets.

Wow, Dio! You’re so cool!

Yeah, screw you jojo we all hate you now

WHAT IS GOING ON

Later…

My goodness, Dio! Your table manners are impeccable!

Thank you very much Mr Joestar

And straight As in school, too! A fine gentleman you’ll make

And what about me, Father?

Jonathan you’re a fucking dissappointment

I wish you had died in that crash instead of your mother, and that Dio was my son instead of you.

Dio will be twice the gentleman you are. I failed in raising you.

First my friends and now father? Dio’s taking everyone away from me!

Woof

Oh, Danny! At least I still have you…

Later…

MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS IN THE FURNACE

Danny

How unfortunate that Danny died of Ligma

(put Danny in the furnace)

What’s Ligma?

LIGMA BALLS

Later…

What is that Dio boy’s problem with me..?

Something on your mind, Jojo?

OH! It’s you… remind me of your name?

Erina Pendleton. Nice to formally meet you.

Nice to meet you too, Erina. Sorry about before…

It’s okay.

Wanna have a romance montage?

Sure!

Wow, that was a really fun montage!

Thanks, Erina! That really helped me take my mind off things.

I’m happy to hear that!

Well, I gotta head home. See you around!

Bye, Jojo!

Oh? Well this is interesting…

Later…

TW: Unwanted physical intimacy

Why hello there, Giantess.

Hm?

I was wondering why Jonathan has been so chipper lately.

Guess now I know the reason.

Can I… help you???

Actually, you can indeed.

Tell me… Erina, was it? Do you… love Jonathan?

Well… I wouldn’t say I don’t…

Perfect…

Wait, what are you doing?!

Stop!! Let GO OF ME-

WHAT THE?!

You thought your first kiss would be with Jonathan…

BUT IT WAS ME!!! KONO DIO DA!!!

That’s our Dio! He just takes what he wants, devil may care!

Dude, he just SAd a girl. I’m going home.

Later…

DIO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE

Oh? If it isn’t the rich brat.

DIO I AM SO DONE WITH YOUR BULLSHIT

YOU KILLED MY DOG, RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER

AND NOW YOU ASSAULTED MY GIRLFRIEND

And what are you gonna do about it? Your father will take my side-

THIS TIME I KILL YOU!!!

What an idiot

….

WHAT?!

Oh… I get it now…

So that’s the type of man he is…

If you bloody his nose…

He comes back twice as fierce

JONATHAN JOESTAR

Oh no…

Your violent actions shame the Joestar name! What would your mother think?!

I’m sorry, father…

Oooo you’re in troooouble~

But…

You’re not in NEARLY as much trouble as DIO.

Wait, wut?

While Jonathan DID resort to violence, he did so for an entirely understandable reason

Dio, you committed SA

WHAT?! That’s Bullcrap!

Oh yea, I forgor

… Dio, that’s worse.

That settles it. Jonathan, go to your room. Dio, you are now super ultra mega grounded

Later…

Blast it!

I see now. I’m being too obvious

I need to be more subtle… gain their trust.

And then… I’ll betray them all!