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We help people

do better work

so they can

live better lives.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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BETTER LIVES

Living with RRRoots

Max Yoder

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I want to live happily

in a world I don’t

understand.

Nassim Taleb

Same here!

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2018–2020

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Me

Marni

Jess

Also me

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My biggest takeaways:

1 insight on life & volatility

3 approaches that reinforce it

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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To Marni Moo

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1 INSIGHT �On Life & Volatility

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Things respond differently to volatility

volatility = stress, chaos, errors, randomness, turmoil, disorder, shitshows

Source: Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder by Nassim Taleb

Fragile

do not benefit from volatility

Robust or Resilient

indifferent to volatility

Antifragile

benefit from volatility

#Yellowship21 | Better Lives: Leveling up with RRRoots

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How I treat my muscles

makes all the difference.

fragile

antifragile

If I always rest my muscles, they deteriorate.

If I always stress my muscles, they deteriorate.

If I stress and rest my muscles, they grow

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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You and I are like muscles:

Too much stress or rest, we’re fragile.

A blend of stress and rest, we’re antifragile.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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There’s no stopping the world’s volatility.

Why not benefit from it?

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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3 APPROACHES �To Becoming More

Antifragile

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#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I develop my roots

by tapping into states of rest and play, through activities that calm and encourage me.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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How I’m developing my RRRoots

Resources

calming and encouraging relationships

Rituals

calming and encouraging practices

Reappraisals

calming and encouraging perspectives

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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RITUALS

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Rituals put me

in touch with myself.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Max, for you, does stimulation = good, and a lack of stimulation = bad?

My Therapist

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My rituals help me dance with the different parts of myself.

The Dance by Henri Matisse

Fight or Flight

Taskmaster

In the Moment

Deep Calm

Me Doing Rituals

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Here are some rituals

that help me.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I play music.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I play music.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I find relaxing ways to sweat.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I make art.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I fingerpaint.

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I make abstract art with Legos.

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I read and reread words

that sing to my soul.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Plus: The Stages of Life [essay], The Scapegoat [radio interview], When the Body Says No [lecture]

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I meditate.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Jerry Seinfeld meditates too!

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I take naps.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I walk and sit in nature.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I write down what scares me.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I write down what I’m grateful for.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I write down what I’m learning.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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These activities put me

in touch with myself.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Your rituals

may be different.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Rituals teammates shared with me

  • I water my plants every Friday. If I see a plant is stressed, I use that moment to reflect on my own stress levels.
  • Each morning, I go to my favorite place in the house and let go of one thing. I go back there at night to meditate for 3 minutes.
  • When I feel stressed, I seek awe by going to a big body of water.
  • I walk in the morning. This happens like the mail—hot, cold, rain, shine, or snow.
  • My wife and I go on a date every Thursday night.

  • I write a sentence each morning to capture something I want to remember.
  • I read in the morning.
  • I meditate with my two-year-old daughter before bed.
  • I meet with a group of five close friends every Friday morning to share life updates and laugh.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Don’t know what your life-giving rituals are?

Start with 10+ minutes

a day in your sacred space.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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[Sacred space] is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, and you don’t know what anybody owes to you.

Joseph Campbell

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At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.

Joseph Campbell

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As you get older, the claims of the moment upon you are so great, you hardly know where the hell you are, or what it is you intended. You are always doing something that is required of you. Where is your bliss station? You have to try to find it.

Joseph Campbell

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RESOURCES

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Resources are active relationships that accept, love, and encourage me.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Resources are active relationships that accept, love, and encourage me.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Chaplain Rolf Holmquist

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Significant Other

Airman

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Airman

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From a tightrope to a net

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Officer

Significant other

From a tightrope to a net

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Develop and use your resources when you’re feeling strong so they’ll be there when you aren’t.

Chaplain Holmquist

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Here are ideas that help me develop my resources.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Dr. Pike’s Prescription

Mentor

Mentee

Life Partner

Dear Friend

Prior Generation

Peers

Next Generation

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Source: Brené Brown

Make a square squad

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Find a therapist

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The best resources, for me, accept where I am. They may not agree with everything I do, but they don’t condemn any aspect of me.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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REAPPRAISALS

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Reappraisals find the �gift in the event.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Event + Emotions = Appraisal

Event + Emotions + Perspective = Reappraisal

Dumped

Sad, embarrassed

World over

Dumped

Sad, embarrassed

Just because a shoe doesn’t fit a certain foot, that doesn’t make it a bad shoe.

More than anything else, it stung to be dumped.

I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.

Grateful this happened, helped me re-evaluate myself and get closer to the right partner for me.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Event + Emotions = Appraisal

Event + Emotions + Perspective = Reappraisal

Another frustrated teammate

Sad, overwhelmed

I can’t do this anymore

Another frustrated teammate

Sad, embarrassed

For as long as I remember, I’ve thought myself responsible for other people’s emotions. Maybe this is my chance to change that.

I am grateful Lessonly is giving me opportunity after opportunity to practice emotional liberation.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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[I]t has been empirically demonstrated that coping with adversity is a critical component of health. Of the many forms of coping outlined . . . positive reappraisal is especially salient. [It] is the adaptive process by which stressful events are re-construed as benign, valuable, or beneficial.

Eric Garland, Dr. Susan Gaylord, and Dr. Jongbae Park

The Role of Mindfulness in Positive Reappraisal

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Let’s do a lightning round �of reappraisals!

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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reappraisals

appraisals

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I got feedback today that was hard to hear. Not good!

I know where I stand with this person. Now I can decide if I want to do something about it.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I don’t get along with

my coworker / manager / customer.

I get to learn how to work with someone who has a different style than me.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I shouldn’t have made that mistake.

All humans make mistakes. I can persecute myself for being a human, or I can accept and learn from my mistakes.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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I find myself in times of trouble.

There will be an answer. Let it be.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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WRAPPING UP

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Let’s recap:

My biggest takeaways:

1 insight on life & volatility

3 approaches that reinforce it

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Things respond differently to volatility

volatility = stress, chaos, errors, randomness, turmoil, disorder, shitshows

Source: Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder by Nassim Taleb

Fragile

do not benefit from volatility

Robust or Resilient

indifferent to volatility

Antifragile

benefit from volatility

This can be me

So can this

#Yellowship21 | Better Lives: Leveling up with RRRoots

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#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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How do we develop RRRoots?

Resources

calming and encouraging relationships

Rituals

calming and encouraging practices

Reappraisals

calming and encouraging perspectives

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Or go to the next slide to view the slide deck

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Max Yoder

BETTER LIVES≈

Leveling up with RRRoots

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I want to live happily

in a world I don’t

understand.

Nassim Taleb

Same here!

84 of 144

2018–2020

85 of 144

Me

Marni

Jess

Also Me

86 of 144

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TO MARNI MOO

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My biggest takeaways:

1 insight on life & volatility

3 approaches that reinforce it

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1 INSIGHT ON

LIFE & VOLATILITY

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Things respond differently to volatility

volatility = stress, chaos, errors, randomness, turmoil, disorder, shitshows

fragile�do not benefit�from volatility

antifragilebenefit�from volatility

robust or resilientindifferent�to volatility

🥂

🔧

🦵

🦵

91 of 144

If I always rest my muscles, they deteriorate.

If I always stress my muscles, they deteriorate.

If I stress and rest my muscles, they grow.

fragile

anti-�fragile

How I treat my muscles�makes all the difference.

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You and I are like muscles:�Too much stress or rest, we’re fragile.�A blend of stress and rest, we’re antifragile.

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There’s no stopping the world’s volatility.

Why not benefit from it?

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3 APPROACHES�TO BECOMING�MORE ANTIFRAGILE

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I develop my roots�by tapping into states of rest and play, through activities that�calm and encourage me.

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How I’m developing my RRRoots

Rituals

calming and encouraging practices

Resources

calming and encouraging relationships

Reappraisals

calming and encouraging perspectives

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RITUALS

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Rituals put me�in touch with myself.

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Max, for you, does stimulation = good, and a lack of stimulation = bad?

My Therapist

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Yikes! No wonder�I felt overwhelmed.�I was overstimulated.

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My rituals help me dance with the different parts of my brain.

The Dance by Henri Matisse

Fight or Flight

Taskmaster

Deep Calm

In the Moment

Me Doing Rituals

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Here are some rituals

that help me.

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Jerry Seinfeld meditates too!

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These activities put me�in touch with myself.

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Your rituals�may be different.

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Rituals teammates shared with me

  • I water my plants every Friday. If I see a plant is stressed, I use that moment to reflect on my own stress levels
  • Each morning, I go to my favorite place in the house and let go of one thing. I go back there at night to meditate for 3 minutes
  • When I feel stressed, I seek awe by going to a big body of water
  • I walk in the morning. This happens like the mail—hot, cold, rain, shine, or snow
  • My wife and I go on a date every Thursday night

  • I write a sentence each morning to capture something I want to remember
  • I read in the morning
  • I meditate with my two-year-old daughter before bed
  • I meet with a group of five close friends every Friday morning to share life updates and laugh

107 of 144

Don’t know what your life-giving rituals are?�Start with 10+ minutes�a day in your sacred space.

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[Sacred space] is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you.

Joseph Campbell

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At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.

Joseph Campbell

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As you get older, the claims of the moment upon you are so great, you hardly know where the hell you are, or what it is you intended. You are always doing something that is required of you. Where is your bliss station? You have to try to find it.

Joseph Campbell

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RESOURCES

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Resources are active relationships that accept, love, and encourage me.

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Resources are active relationships that accept, love, and encourage me.

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CHAPLAIN ROLF HOLMQUIST

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Develop and use�your resources�when you’re feeling strong so they’ll be there�when you aren’t.

Chaplain Holmquist

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REAPPRAISALS

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Officer

Significant other

FROM A TIGHTROPE TO A NET

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Event + Emotions = Appraisal

Event + Emotions + Perspective = Reappraisal

Dumped

Sad, embarrassed

World over

Dumped

Sad, embarrassed

Just because a shoe doesn’t fit a certain foot, that doesn’t make it a bad shoe

More than anything else, it stung to be dumped

I want to be with someone who wants to be with me

Grateful this happened, helped me re-evaluate myself and get closer to the right partner for me

119 of 144

Event + Emotions = Appraisal

Event + Emotions + Perspective = Reappraisal

Another frustrated teammate

Sad, overwhelmed

I can’t do this anymore

Another frustrated teammate

Sad, overwhelmed

For as long as I remember, I’ve thought myself responsible for other people’s emotions. Maybe this is my chance to change that

I am grateful Lessonly is giving me opportunity after opportunity to practice emotional liberation

120 of 144

Event + Emotions = Appraisal

Event + Emotions + Perspective = Reappraisal

Pandemic

Sad, scared, detached, overwhelmed

This is really bad, please stop

Pandemic

Sad, scared, detached, overwhelmed

This is happening whether I like it or not. If I accept it, I can find my own lessons and opportunities in it and spend less time getting distracted by things I can’t control

I am grateful to experience how unstable the world is, because now I am better prepared for volatility and more equipped to appreciate life as it happens— as opposed to how I want it to happen

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[I]t has been empirically demonstrated that coping with adversity is a critical component of health. Of the many forms of coping outlined . . . positive reappraisal is especially salient. [It] is the adaptive process by which stressful events are re-construed as benign, valuable, or beneficial.

Eric Garland, Dr. Susan Gaylord, and Dr. Jongbae Park

The Role of Mindfulness in Positive Reappraisal

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When a person feels judged, they are unlikely to open up. This is why resources with unconditional positive regard are important.

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MAKE A SQUARE SQUAD

Source: Brené Brown

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FIND A THERAPIST

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Hank gave me the golden opportunity to learn�to cope with anger and criticism effectively.

Dr. David Burns

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I am a perfectionist.�If it is not perfect, it is trash.�If I am not perfect, I am trash.

Everything can be improved if I look at it closely and critically enough.

Perfectionism is humanity’s greatest con game. I accept my averageness, and build on it.

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I suck at this.

This doesn’t come naturally to me. I will have to practice to get more comfortable with it.

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Our marriage failed.

We were brave enough�to admit we could not spend the rest of our lives together�and be healthy.

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This project is a mess!

Projects often get messy. This is nothing new. I bet if we focus we can turn things around.

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Let’s do a lightning round of reappraisals!

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How do we develop RRRoots?

Resources

Rituals

Reappraisals

calming and encouraging practices

calming and encouraging relationships

calming and encouraging perspectives

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WRAPPING UP

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Let’s recap:

My biggest takeaways:

1 insight on life & volatility

3 approaches that reinforce it

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Yikes! No wonder

I felt overwhelmed.

I was overstimulated.

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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RRROOTS.COM

Please don’t share on social media or other public forums,

but feel free to share privately with loved ones.

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Dr. Pike’s Prescription

Mentor

Dear Friend Life Partner

Mentee

Prior Generation

Next Generation

Peers

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Significant Other

Airman

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Airman

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appraisals

reappraisals

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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appraisals

reappraisals

#Yellowship21 | Living with RRRoots

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Things respond differently to volatility

volatility = stress, chaos, errors, randomness, turmoil, disorder, shitshows

fragile�do not benefit�from volatility

antifragilebenefit�from volatility

robust or resilientindifferent�to volatility

🥂

🔧

🦵

🦵

This can be me

So can this